Chapter 10

Traitor. Traitor. Traitor.

I woke up to the fresh scent of strawberries stuck to my sheets, stirring memories of last night and giving me a boner that only one person could fix.

Traitor. Traitor. Traitor.

Cade’s voice was swirling in my head, reminding me that what I did last night was wrong. It was the only reason I was able to keep my hands to myself while sleeping for the rest of the night.

But damn. What a hell of a night that was. Madison and I only had sex once, but I already knew nothing would compare to it. How could it? I unknowingly took her virginity, and I was berating myself for not checking. It should have been the first thing I asked, but the thought didn’t pass my mind. I’d always assumed she’d lost it with Henry, which was why I thought she was so upset over finding him cheating. But I was wrong, and it was the first time in my life I was happy about that fact. Happy because she hadn’t lost her virginity to that fuckwit. Happy that I was the only person who knew what she felt like from the inside. Happy to know the feeling of her clenching around me when she came.

Traitor. Traitor. Traitor.

Cade’s voice was another reminder that I wasn’t much better than Henry. I was just more successful at sleeping with her. I still couldn’t give her what she deserved, no matter how much I wanted to. She deserved a guy that could fawn over her in public and make her happy all the time. I couldn’t do that. Not without screwing up other aspects of both of our lives.

Fuck.

Was last night the worst decision of my life? If it meant Cade’s voice was in my head for the rest of it whispering ‘traitor,’ then the answer was a resounding yes. I was a traitor. No, wait. I was worse than a traitor because I was hiding in plain sight.

I took a deep breath, trying to center myself, and immediately calmed down when another waft of strawberries hit my nostrils. My muscles relaxed, and I felt a strange sense of peace when I thought about Madison.

She grounded me.

Being inside her was even better than I’d imagined, and all I could think about were those short, breathy whimpers that I managed to calm once I slowed down and helped her enjoy it. Slow and steady was good for her, but damn near torture for me. There was a stone in my stomach because I felt something I never did with Amy. It wasn’t just sex. The connection was stronger, which made my climax ten times better. I wanted more, but I could never admit it out loud. Not without facing serious repercussions.

A growl emanated from my throat as I thought about Madison because no one else would compare.

How could they?

She shone brighter than the damn sun.

One night.

I reminded myself. We agreed to one night, and I had to abide by it for both of our sakes. Thinking about it like this was only going to drive me crazy. But then a little thought wormed its way through my brain. When did one night end? We only really had a few hours together, and in one night I could do a hell of a lot more than one time. The sun was starting to pour into my room, which I supposed meant the night was over, but if I wanted to get technical, one night could be twelve hours of fun. Nine of which we hadn’t had yet.

I ignored the little voice in my head, pointing out what a bad idea all of this was, and rolled over, ready to pull Madison into my arms so she’d be able to feel my already-erect dick and see if she thought the same way I did. Only, when I stretched my arm out, there was nothing to grab. Just a pile of pillows smothered in her scent.

Propping myself up, I checked to see if maybe she’d gone to the bathroom, but with the door wide open and the lights off, it was obvious she wasn’t in there either.

“Madison?” I whispered sharply into the semi-darkness. Was I really expecting a response? There was no one in the room but me. My brows furrowed, and I felt like I was trying to solve an impossible riddle because Madison had gone, but where the fuck did she go?

Had I been obsessing so much over the kiss that I dreamed about taking her virginity? At this point, it was a very serious possibility because I was starting to believe that I was borderline obsessed with her, but a dream wouldn’t explain her perfume drifting in the air. She’d been here. There was no question in my mind. I just hadn’t figured out where she’d gone.

Getting up, I pulled on a pair of sweats and looked around the room one more time because I wouldn’t put it past her to hide in my closet for several hours just to scare the crap out of me as a joke. Thankfully, she wasn’t in there, and as I moved around the room, I found her bra and underwear, but there was still no sign of her.

What the hell?

So, not only had she left me, but she’d left me and was running around with no clothes on somewhere. I growled, annoyed that thinking about her naked was making me hard all over again. Walking over to my door, I opened it and stuck my head out to check that she wasn’t outside talking to the guys. There was a blanket strewn over the couch, but apart from that, the place was completely empty. Madison wasn’t here, but that begged the question: Where the hell did she go?

I felt numb as I walked over to the elevator for no other reason than not knowing what else to do with myself and clicked the call button. She wouldn’t still be in there, but as I watched the number climb to our floor, my chest constricted because I really hoped she was.

Traitor. Traitor. Traitor.

There it was again. The guilt bubbling in my gut, causing the stomach ulcer of a lifetime, no doubt. I was a traitor, but it was the only bad thing I’d ever done in my life, so could it really be that bad?

When the elevator doors opened and all I saw was my pathetic reflection in the mirror at the back, my body slumped. Madison left me. After I took her virginity, Madison didn’t even have the decency to stay long enough to say goodbye.

I lingered at the elevator for a little longer than necessary because trying to process what just happened was taking most of my brain cells. I’d just had the best sex of my life with the girl of my dreams and woke up to an empty bed and the need to talk to her. My ego was bruised, but my heart was in a worse condition.

I groaned at my own thoughts. Calling Madison my dream girl and claiming a broken heart would never end well because my best friend’s little sister shouldn’t have that kind of hold on me.

But apparently, life was cruel like that, and it was the truth.

We fucked up.

That summarized our encounter. Yes, it was amazing, and I would have totally been up for another round if she hadn’t left, but we fucked everything up. Our friendship. My friendship with Cade. One night was such a lie because how the hell was I supposed to look at Madison again without remembering what it felt like to be inside her? How the hell was I supposed to stop my heart from beating like it was trying to punch its way out of my chest every time I looked at her?

“Dash.” His voice was like a splash of ice-cold water. “What are you doing out here? Oh, did reporter girl just leave?” Cade teased. I tried to remain cool as I looked down the hall to find him fully dressed and ready for practice. “What’s her name again?” The only good thing about Madison leaving was that she didn’t need to hide away from Cade at least.

“Sienna, and yes, she did,” I quipped, lying out of my ass to save my face. Unfortunately, when Cade smiled at me eagerly, all the guilt I was ignoring came back to the forefront like a tidal wave because the reality of the situation was that I was willingly betraying him .

Traitor. Traitor. Traitor.

Shut up, brain!

I was fooling around with his sister behind his back and lying about it. What kind of shitty best friend did that?

Me, apparently.

After everything I’d been through, he was always there for me. The guy was like my brother, and lying to him felt impossible when he was standing in front of me, rooting for me and the girl I slept with last night.

“It was a mistake,” I added in my own frustration. Yes, it was a shitty thing to say, but I wasn’t thinking straight. This wasn’t how I wanted Madison. Hidden and illicit. She deserved to be more than a girl I snuck around with. She deserved to be front and center because that was just who she was. It was why she deserved someone who wasn’t me.

“Didn’t sound like a mistake when you were banging her against the door last night. Not to mention how much your bed shook the entire dorm. Did you know it did that? Probably not. She’s the first girl you’ve had over since we moved in.”

Fuck.

He was talking about his sister. I deserved the death penalty for this.

“Funny, Sienna doesn’t strike me as the type to be so vocal, either.”

“Oh, really?” I cleared my throat. “Because I think the noise goes with that angry reporter vibe she’s got going on.”

He huffed out a laugh and elbowed me. “You dirty dog. You never bring girls home. That must mean she’s something special.”

“She’s sure special, all right. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to shower before we go to practice.” I didn’t want to wash the memory of Madison off my body, but I needed to if I was going to regain any of my sanity. She left without leaving a note, which was so unlike Madison. The girl was so unsubtle, I was almost surprised she hadn’t left my dorm singing and dancing to a routine from The Greatest Showman .

As I walked past Cade toward my room, he clasped my arm.

“Before you go….” I stopped in my tracks and looked over my shoulder at my friend. His eyes were downcast, and he was frowning. The expression alone was enough to catch my attention.

“What’s up, C? ”

“I know this is going to sound crazy, but have you, uh, spoken to Madison recently?”

I stopped, not sure what to say. Was he fucking with me? Did he know she was just in my room, and this was his way of playing with his meal before he killed me for touching his sweet, innocent baby sister? Wait a minute. What if she left me to go to Cade’s room to cry it all out? What if he already knew I was a traitor and I was making it worse by not coming clean?

“Not much. Why?” My tongue was burning with all the lies as I swallowed down the guilt of lying to Cade yet again. I was gambling here, hoping that Madison had stayed true to her pinkie promise and not told Cade, but could I really blame her? She’d just lost her virginity, which I assumed might make her feel vulnerable. Not to mention that I didn’t exactly take it easy on her at the start because I didn’t know.

“There’s something going on with her.”

I swallowed. “Is there?” Did my voice just go up three octaves? I cleared my throat. “I mean, is there?”

“Yeah, but she’s being stubborn and won’t tell me what it is.”

Losing her V-card to your best friend might have something to do with the stonewalling, I thought.

“No offense, but if I were Madison, I wouldn’t tell you anything either. You have a tendency to overreact.”

He smirked and raised his palms. “I get it. She doesn’t want to talk to me, but the only other friends she’s made here are those football guys, and I sure as hell don’t trust them. What if there’s something major going on with her and she has no one to talk to about it?”

Poor Cade. As much as he liked to believe he was all hard edges, he was a real marshmallow when it came to his sister. Or any woman that he chose to have in his life, for that matter. I patted him on the shoulder in a feeble attempt to bring him some comfort. Little did he know I was the reason he was concerned.

“You know what? I’m sure she’s fine. She’s probably got a lot of stuff going on. It’s early in the semester, and she wants to make a good impression with her professors. You know her, she overdoses on caffeinated soda when she’s studying a lot. Jitters like a chihuahua. Could just be that.”

“Maybe you’re right.” I felt my heart slow because at least I’d managed to get him off her back for a little while. “Will you talk to her?”

My head shot up. “Me?”

“Yeah. I’ve tried, and she completely ignores me every time, but she’ll talk to you.”

“And how do you know that?”

He sighed. “Because she’s always had a soft spot for you, and that only solidified when you beat her cheating ass boyfriend to a pulp.”

My jaw hung open as I tried to figure out what to say. Was that his way of telling me he knew his sister had a crush on me or was I reading too much into it? I was most definitely overthinking things, and I wasn’t an overthinker. As a goalie, I didn’t have time to. I had to work on instinct, and as I looked at my best friend, everything in me was telling me to stop lying. Tell him the truth and get the beatdown I deserved over with. But would Madison really want Cade to know about her sex life?

Her tiny little pinkie came to mind. We made a promise, and I wasn’t willing to break it.

“She views you as her protector now, so if there is something wrong, I bet she’d tell you.”

“I-I can try.” It came out lackluster, and I was certain he picked up on that tone, but I hoped he assumed I was nervous since it wasn’t like I was the natural choice to spill your guts to.

“If you don’t, I’m just going to have to stalk my sister to find out, because if that idiot Aiden Matthews got her pregnant, I’m going to kill him.”

Aiden Matthews? Pregnant? How the hell did he get there?

“Dude, there’s no need to do that,” I piped out quickly. “I’ll talk to her. See what I can find out.” He looked at me with a smile, completely unaware that I was only offering because I was saving myself.

Fuck. The more I thought about it, the worse it felt.

“Thanks, D. I always know I can count on you.” He slapped me on the shoulder and gave me a smile. Guilt slithered through my veins again because if only he knew what I did.

Thankfully, Cade’s phone buzzed, ruining our bro moment, and giving me an out before I gave myself away .

“Dammit,” he cursed when he saw the text on his phone.

“Anyone important?” I asked, eager to change the subject.

He shook his head. “Just a new study group for one of my classes. They all hate hockey, and I think they’re scheduling our sessions during training or games just to fuck with me.”

“Sucks, man. Could you cut them loose and work solo?”

He glanced up at me before looking down at his phone with a lazy smile. “I could, but there’s a girl I’m trying to figure out.”

“Oh, really?” I asked, happy to be talking about him.

“Yeah, but it’s nothing. I don’t know anything just yet. I’m just testing out a theory, and I can only do that if I’m around her.”

“Good to know. I hope it works out for you.” I raised my brows and tipped my head to the inside of my bedroom. “I’m going to take a shower so I’m not late for practice.”

“Okay, I’m going to skip weight training this morning so I can go to their stupid study group. Can you let Coach know I’ll get a session in before the end of the day?”

I nodded, and just as I was about to go into my room, Cade said, “Oh, and Dash? Thanks for your help.”

“With what?”

“Madison.” It felt like one final dagger to my heart. “I appreciate how you’ve always had her back throughout the years, and even now, when she doesn’t really need anyone to look after her, you’re always here, willing to help.”

Yup. I was definitely going to hell for this.

“No problem.”

I turned on my heel, too caught up in my own thoughts to let it show. When I got into my room, I shut the door and leaned against it. Closing my eyes, I stopped myself from growling in frustration.

What the fuck did I do with his sister? My best friend’s sister. Baby Bright. He was loyal to me, yet here I was, breaking his trust and potentially setting fire to our relationship. I’d royally fucked up, and there was nothing I could do about it because the worst part about this entire thing was that I’d do it all over again if I had the chance, and that was a problem.

I wanted Madison. Not just on every single surface of my dorm room, but I wanted her in my life as more than my best friend’s sister. I just didn’t think that was possible.

However, there was an even bigger issue that I needed to deal with that didn’t involve asking Madison if she liked me enough to take a chance on me. It was that I had no idea where Madison had gone or if she was wearing any clothes.