7. Katerina

I’m on edge. I’m on edge and I have no idea why. I feel like there’s something lurking beneath the surface, just waiting to consume me. I have this feeling in my gut that something terrible is about to happen.

When I was younger, for a while after my mom died, I had really bad anxiety. I was terrified everyone around me was going to die. I was terrified that Sophia was next. I wouldn’t leave her side. She probably doesn’t remember how bad it got. Bad enough that I had to go to therapy because I couldn’t sleep.

The therapist referred to it as hyper vigilance. A constant, overwhelming fear that something terrible is going to happen. Brought on by a traumatic incident. She told me I couldn’t go through life like that, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Especially not when there’s no basis for it.

Eventually, I got better. I’ve always hated that period of my life. I felt completely and utterly weak, especially in the eyes of my father. He expected me to always be strong and I crumbled. But I picked myself back up. One thing I never really confessed though, is that the hypervigilance never really went away. I became less protective of Sophia but I was always watchful of her, ensuring that she was safe, scared that she wouldn’t be.

But I also learned to always trust my gut and something is definitely about to happen. Something I won’t like. Rico notices my mood as we exit the gambling den my family owns. It’s not our main business, mostly because it’s harder to manage, a lot more public with many people involved, which doesn’t go well with my family’s desire to be conspicuous. But in the past few years, we’ve been more open than ever and I’m thinking it’s time to come out of the shadows fully.

“You okay, Kat?” Rico asks as one of the men opens the door of the car for me.

I nod once before entering, but my cousin can be annoyingly persistent. Instead of entering the other car which he always rides in when we go out, he crosses to the other side and enters beside me. I raise an eyebrow and he offers me an innocent smile.

“Something’s wrong,” he insists.

“Yes. But I don’t know what,” I mutter, looking out the window as the car starts to drive.

“Everything’s in order,” Rico starts to say. “There’s a plan in place to send out messages to the politicians in D.C, giving them a time frame for them to meet our list of demands. Have I already told you how brilliantly bold and dangerous that plan is?”

“Yes, several times,” I say dryly.

“Just making sure,” he continues. “Anyway, we’re making good time on our deals. New York has been relatively peaceful these past few years, with all the major mafia families having an alliance and all. We haven’t had any news from Moscow. There’s nothing to be worried about.”

My eyes meet his brown ones and I suddenly feel immensely blessed to have him. Rico’s my rock. I don’t know how I would have handled things without him.

“I know.”

He tilts his head to the side, studying me. “Do you want to shoot someone?”

That makes me laugh. “Why? Are you offering?”

“Nah, I’d like to keep my head and you never miss.”

“I’d miss if it was you on the other side,” I tell him.

“How sweet, cugina,” he says, brown eyes gleaming. “Anyway, what do you need?’

“Some rest, I guess. It’ll be okay. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

The nothing proves to absolutely be something once we drive into my family’s compound and a call enters my phone. It’s a private id number and my eyebrows immediately arch. One look at Rico and he’s handing me my laptop. I simultaneously start to decode who the caller is and his location while picking up the call.

The person on the other end doesn’t speak. My eyebrow rises even further.

“Hello?” I ask, but there’s no reply.

Rico taps the shoulders of both men in front of the car, telling them without words to step outside. I focus on finding the location of the caller. Whoever it is, the fact that they have my private number already raises red flags. My cousin waits patiently beside me as my hands fly over the keyboard.

“Who is this?” I ask to keep the person on the line.

There’s still nothing. But he or she doesn’t hang up. I don’t even hear any breathing. Rico gives me a look and points at the phone asking me to put it on speaker. I refuse, shaking my head. His eyes grow hard but he doesn’t fight, watching me as I continue tapping away on my keyboard.

The IP address for the number is pinging everywhere from Croatia to France to Chile. Whoever this person is, he’s good. I feel a flush of frustration.

“I’m going to hang up now if you’re unwilling to speak,” I state.

Finally, there’s a throat clearing on the other side. “I was giving you time, Katerina. To try and fail to figure out my location.”

My eyes widen and I almost drop my phone out of shock. I haven’t heard that voice in nearly ten years. Silky and masculine. The kind of voice that makes women swoon. I’d recognize it anywhere. It’s engraved in my mind. I’ve had dreams about it. But it seems impossible that the owner of the voice is calling me.

“Seeing as you haven’t said anything, I’m guessing you know who this is,” the man on the other hand prompts.

My hand tightens around the phone. I feel a tremble on my other hand.

“Alexander,” I breathe, the name coming out of me in a rush.

I haven’t said his name in a very long time.

“Hello, princess,” he says.

Once he called me that with love, now there’s only ice in his tone.

“What? Why are you calling me?” I ask, trying to keep my nerves at bay. “How did you even get this number?”

“Did you really just ask me that?”

It was a stupid question. The Steeles are reputable in the technological world. They can hack into anything. And Xander’s the best hacker I’ve ever met.

“No. But I do want to know to ensure no one is able to use the same route you did.”

“No one can,” he says lazily. “The means with which I used to acquire your number are mine and mine only.”

“Enough with the small talk,” I say, despite the thudding in my chest. “There must be a reason you called me.”

“Yes, I’d like to set up a meeting. I’m in New York,” he informs me.

“Why did you go through the trouble of hiding your location when you were just going to tell me?”

“Why not?” And I can just imagine the shrug that accompanies that. “5 o’clock tomorrow, the roof of Flatiron hotel. Come alone.’

My eyebrows go up. “There’s no way in hell that’s happening. Why would I meet you after ten years of no contact? And I’m not at liberty to go anywhere alone. Especially considering the position I’m in.”

“Oh yeah, I heard about your promotion. Congratulations. I guess you’re not a mafia princess anymore but a queen. I would have sent a flower basket, if I didn’t fucking despise you.”

His words are like a shard of ice piercing my chest.

“If you despise me so much then why do you want to meet me?”

“My hatred of you is personal. This is about business.”

“I’m not coming.”

“But you will, Katerina. Because you hate not knowing things. What I have to say to you is important. Come alone,” he repeats. “If any guards or protection detail following you around think you can’t handle yourself, then they’re idiots.”

That would be so sweet if it wasn’t for the fact that I know he doesn’t mean it as a compliment.

I sigh softly. “You knew me ten years ago. I’ve changed and I’m not walking into a meeting with you without having any information.”

“Your loss, princess,” he says easily. “But I’ll be waiting. 5pm, Flatiron hotel. Leave the guards downstairs and come up alone.”

And with those words, he hangs up. I stare into space for a couple of seconds. I am absolutely shaken to my core, so much that Rico has to grab my shoulder to bring me back to reality.

“Was that your ex-boyfriend, Alexander? The heir to Steele industries?” he questions, staring at me inquisitively.

I shake my head, my throat closing up. “I need to…” I gesture outside.

Rico understands and leans over to open the car door.

“Katerina,” he says and I can hear the worry in his voice. I practically stumble outside and manage enough dignity and poise to not run into the house. I make it to my room, before locking the door and sliding down to the floor, taking short gasping breaths.

I’m having a panic attack. My hands start to shake as I sit on the floor, trying to count my heart beats. I haven’t had a panic attack in years. Ten years to be exact. The last one I had was in relation to Alexander Steele. I guess it’s fitting that this one is as well.

It takes about thirty minutes for me to recover. I manage to push myself off the ground, getting to my feet to sit on my bed. I am beyond grateful that my father wasn’t around to witness that. Now I just need to make sure none of the men mention it to him. I’ll have Rico make the necessary threats.

I know he’s outside my door right now. Waiting for me to step out. But I’m not ready to face him. I’m not ready for the inevitable questions. But I also can’t hide like a scared little girl. So I get to my feet once again, steeling my nerves as I walk over to the door and open it. Rico’s leaning on the other side of the wall. As soon as the door opens, his eyes are on me, searching.

“Just come in,” I mutter, leaving the door open and walking over to the bed to take a seat.

He enters, seating on the chair facing me.

“So you haven’t heard from this guy since you broke up,” he begins. “He calls you today, asks for a meeting and you completely freak out. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but that seems a little fishy, cugina. What happened between you two?”

“We broke up,” I mutter.

“I’ve broken up with a lot of girls,” my cousin counters. “One call from any of them has never made me as pale as you are right now.”

I curse under my breath softly.

“It was a bad break up, Rico. Let it go,” I say authoritatively.

His brown eyes continue to peer at me. “You’re not going to that meeting alone.”

“I’m not going at all,” I say tiredly.

He gives me a look that calls bullshit and I sigh.

“Fine, I’m going,” I admit.

I’d be dumb not to. I never in a million years would have expected him to reach out to me. And I’m going to find out why.

“And I’m going with you,” he states.

I shake my head. “He said to come alone. You can wait for me in the car.”

I give him a look daring him to contradict me. But seeing as I’m the Boss he doesn’t, instead inclining his head in agreement.

“Good. Now leave please. I’d like to rest,” I tell him.

He gets to his feet while I kick off my heels and burrow under my blanket.

“Rico,” I say softly before he steps out. “Tell the men that saw….” I trail off.

“I’ll tell them you were feeling ill and needed to use the restroom,” he says gently.

“Thanks cugino.”

He offers me a small smile before walking out of the room, leaving me alone. I fall asleep soon after. Sleep has always been a means of escape for me. When shit doesn’t make sense, I sleep. It’s my coping mechanism. By the time I’m up tomorrow, my head will be clearer and I’ll be able to figure out my next course of action.

I wakeup refreshed the next morning and get dressed, heading out for the day with a cup of coffee in hand, eyes clear, head sharp. My journey to the car is however derailed by my father stepping into the path. I offer him a small smile.

“Where have you been, Papa?” I question, looking him in the eyes. “You weren’t home last night.”

We’re nearly the same height with him only an inch taller than me. But in my heels I’m taller. His height doesn’t really matter though. Not when he’s one of the most feared men in New York and one who built his empire from scratch. My dad can be ruthless, intimidating. All qualities I try to emulate.

He’s dressed in running shorts and a tank top. My dad is in his fifties but he looks younger. And since he left his position as Don, he’s been much more relaxed. More than I’ve seen him in years.

“When I returned you were asleep,” he says. “And stop questioning me like you’re my guardian. My movements are none of your concern.”

“I’m just worried you’re doing something dangerous,” I mutter.

Since I became Don, the dynamics of our relationship have been heavily shifted. Now that he doesn’t have so much responsibility he’s been inclined to pursuing other hobbies. Hobbies I’m not sure I’d like if I was made aware of them.

“I’ll be fine,” he says, before looking me over. “How are you, mi amore?”

“I’m fine, why are you asking?”

“Oh, one of the men was telling me that you were ill yesterday. If you’re still ill, you should be in bed resting.”

My fist clenches. Despite Rico specifically telling them not to, they still tattled to my father. It’s like they’re intentionally undermining me. My father might not be doing so intentionally, but the men are sending a clear message, the more they do so. They don’t trust me, they don’t accept me. I’m willing to bet it’s because I’m a woman.

Still I bat the thoughts away. It’s a problem for another time.

“I was feeling a little nauseous last night, Papa. But I’m okay now, thanks for asking.”

His brown eyes don’t leave my face but after a second, his expression eases.

“Alright. You’ll let me know if there’s any trouble right, Katerina?”

“Of course,” I say, the lie leaving my lips easily.

There’s probably nothing that would make me go to my father for help. Doing so would be a show of weakness. He knows it, I know. Whatever’s wrong, I’ll handle it myself.

“Have a nice day, mi amore,” he tells me, stepping aside.

He’s humming a tune as he walks away while I head for my car. Rico’s already there, waiting for me. His eyes roam over my face, searching for a hint of yesterday in my expression. He won’t find anything but steel. Once he’s assured himself that I’m okay, he opens the door for me.

“Where to first?” I ask him.

“Headquarters. I need to tell you something in private. And then we need to deal with some other issues.”

He opens the car door and I enter. Thirty minutes later, we’re at my family’s most protected building apart from the house. The building is like a vault and contains all of our most prized information secrets. It’s where all our affairs are handled, different rooms for different problems.

When we arrive, Rico and I take a seat in my office.

“I looked into the Steeles, to find out some information on them.”

I cock my head to the side. “You mean you tried to look into them,” I correct. “Steele industries is a technological giant in the corporate world. They have robust encryption protocols and are continuously monitoring their network traffic. Basically, they’re a fortress with a hell of a lot of security codes to prevent any of their data from ever leaking. They have firewalls and codes, most of them built personally by both Alexander and Graham Steele. There’s no looking into them. Any information they don’t want out, doesn’t get out.”

Rico blinks before rolling his eyes.

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” he says sarcastically. “But seriously, if we can’t find anything on them, then you’re walking into this meeting blind.”

I shrug. Rico’s eyes narrow. “And you’re not worried,” he says.

“It doesn’t matter. By 5pm today, I’ll know what I need to know.”

I’m absolutely terrified. Alexander assured me it was business but there’s no way he can keep his personal feelings aside during a meeting with me. Neither of us can.

When the time for the meeting arrives, I head for the hotel with my head held high. I’m in complete control, intent on not losing my cool. As soon as I step onto the rooftop however, my steps falter. I spot him immediately.

My stomach churns as I stare at him for a few seconds before he looks up. There’s a dark scowl etched onto his handsome face as he sits. Eyes on his phone, fingers scrolling. He’s in a casual three piece suit sans a tie. His dark hair is as full as I remember, although it’s straighter instead of wavy. His eyes, the same striking green that haunts my dreams. He’s grown more muscular, his jawline as sharp as ice.

The expressionless face is new though. The Alexander I remember used to have an openness to him that was endearing. The man seated gives off a vibe that feels like a ‘fuck you and stay away’ to the rest of the world. My heart tightens.

He’s changed.

He looks up then and I’m frozen in place. I fell in love with that man when I was 19 years old. And then I destroyed us.