25. Katerina

I can’t do this anymore, Sophia. I gave you enough space but I’m done. You need to talk to me and let me explain. Even if you end up hating me, at least here what I have to say. Please, sorella.

Isend the text with my heart in my throat. I’m worried that she won’t reply. I’m also worried that she will and her answer would be for me to fuck off. After sending it, I place my phone down, sure it’ll take a couple of minutes at least before she eventually replies.

“We were able to dig up some information on the man running for mayor.”

My eyebrows rise as I stare at Rico.

“I thought he had a squeaky clean record,” I question. “Even Roman and Christian couldn’t get anything on him.”

The mayoral election has been causing some problems for the outfit because the man most likely to win seems to be a hard ass and we’re finding it hard to get him under our control. If the city has a mayor like that, it would make it exponentially hard for us to do our business here.

“Well yeah but then I decided to ask your boyfriend for help and he did his thing with hacking. Went as far back as Sanderson’s college years and got some information a DUI and an arrest for possession.”

It takes a couple seconds for me to digest all that.

“You asked Xander for help?! Rico, he’s not my boyfriend and I don’t want him being a part of any of this.”

This is my life, it doesn’t have to be his.

“He’s going to be a part of your life is he not? This is the Cosa Nostra, Katerina. You’re either in or you’re out, there’s no in between. Xander’s going to have to decide if he wants to be in. But for what it’s worth, he seemed happy to help when I contacted him. He didn’t even blink, he just got down to the request immediately.”

I chew my bottom lip as I consider it all. Xander and I are in a semi good place right now. We haven’t had much time to ourselves after we had sex two days ago, thanks to me being busy managing the issues with the election but I’m hopeful that things will eventually work out. We’re so close to being okay and while there haven’t been any heartfelt declarations of love, I can still feel it.

And if I think back on it, he’s never given me any inclination that my career bothers him. It should. Most normal people would never want to be involved with a woman that leads a criminal outfit. It’s the reason I’ve stayed away from any serious relationships this past few years. I sigh softly, it’s just one of the many issues we’re going to have to work on.

“None of that matters. Don’t contact him again unless I expressly ask you to, understand?”

“Yeah, I got it,” he says. “But like I said, he was useful. He got me the dirt we need.”

I fix him with a stare. “But will it be enough?”

“The race is pretty close. And while it won’t make waves, releasing the news could potentially damage Sanderson’s campaign especially this close to the election. We just have to consider what we do with the information. Blackmail him or ruin his chances.”

I lean back in my chair. “I actually like Sanderson if I’m being honest. It would be better to have as the mayor under our control, than anyone else. I don’t trust his opponents.”

Rico nods. “I don’t either. So we’re blackmailing him?”

“Yeah but we still need to think about how we’ll keep him under our thumb once he’s in the position. I’ll have to discuss with the other Dons.”

“Okay. Then I guess we’re done with the meeting,” he announces. “You heading to Steele’s place?”

I shake my head. “Actually I’m waiting for Sophia to reply my text. I asked to see her.”

He offers me a sympathetic look. “Alright, Kat. Let me know when you’re ready so I can take you where you need to go.”

He leaves and I’m left alone for a couple of minutes. Just as I’m considering calling Anthony and forcing him to trick his wife into a meeting, Sophia texts me back.

Fine. I’ll meet you in thirty minutes at the park near my house. Don’t bring Rico.

Relief sweeps through me. Followed by dread. My gut is bunched up with nerves the entire car ride to the park. When I get there, she’s already waiting for me seated on the park. My sister and I somehow manage to look so similar and then not at all. My father likes to tell me that while I favor some of his features, Sophia looks a lot like our mother. I see our mother in her sometimes. Her smile, the color of our eyes, her grace. She’s the confident one, the smart one and I’m unbelievably lucky that she’s my sister.

“Hey stranger,” I greet, standing in front of the bench.

She looks up, blue eyes landing on my face.

“Hey, Kat.”

Her expression is devoid of any warmth. I rub my hands together, thinking about how to navigate this conversation. I decide to ask about the well-being of my niece first.

“How’s Nova?”

Sophia shrugs. “She’s okay. She keeps asking to see you. I’m not sure how to tell her that she also has a cousin she needs to meet for the first time.”

Okay… we’re heading right into it.

I inhale softly. “Can I sit down?”

“You can do whatever you want. You always have,” she mutters.

“Okay, enough with the passive aggressiveness,” I state, taking a seat at her side. She turns to look at me. “You’re angry.”

Her expression darkens. “Of course I’m angry. Do you want to know what’s been replaying in my mind ever since I found out the news. The moment you found out I was pregnant. I still remember how betrayed you were. You berated me for finding myself in that position. Meanwhile you had been in the exact same position yourself. You’re a hypocrite, Katerina,” she spits.

My guts twists with guilt.

“I was just-”

She cuts me off before I can speak. It’s clear she needs to get it all off her chest.

“Your hypocrisy pisses me off but more than anger I’m hurt, Katerina. Because you could have kept the truth from Papa, to some level, I understand that. You could have kept it from Rico, from our uncle, literally everyone else but I can’t believe you kept it from me. You aren’t just my big sister, you’re my best friend. I tell you everything but you couldn’t even extend the same courtesy to me. Nine years, sorella. Nine years hiding such a huge secret. Do you have any idea how that feels?”

“I’m not perfect, Sophia,” I begin quietly once she’s done.

“I never said you were,” she bursts out.

My voice is firm as I say, “No, I need you to listen to me. When mama passed away, it fell on my shoulders to take care of you, to shield you from any danger and I tried my best to do that. I loved doing that because you were mine to protect, my little sister. How was I supposed to tell my little sister that not only had I fallen pregnant but was also trapped in Moscow with a psychopath intent on finding me?”

Her eyes widen at that and she sucks in a breath.

“I still don’t know the full story,” Sophia mumbles.

I manage a smile. “I’ll tell it to you. And I know that it’s no excuse for my actions. I fucked up and I’m owning that completely. Apart from Xander and Nate, you’re the person I hurt the most and I’ll do my best to apologize to you for as long as you want, Soph. Because I love you so much and I need you to forgive me.”

My sister doesn’t say anything else. Her gaze is steady as I launch into the story. By the time I’m done, we’re both crying.

“You’re the most annoyingly, selfless, egotistical, stubborn person I’ve ever met,” Sophia says wiping at the side of her face.

“I know,” I say in agreement.

“Would it have been so hard to tell me? I could have shared in your pain. Nine years and you couldn’t see your son. It must have been killing you.”

“I was able to bare it, because I knew he was safe. He had his father and I knew his father would do right by him.”

“He should have had his mother too,” Sophia whispers.

“Yes, he should have. But he has me now and I’m never going to leave him again.”

Sophia looks away from me and runs a hand across her face. “I still hate what you did.”

“I know.”

“You don’t really deserve forgiveness.”

“Of course,” I say nodding.

“But the truth is, I could never hate you despite how much I want to. You are so incredibly lucky that you’re my sister, Katerina. If anyone else had hidden such a huge secret I would have never been able to get past it.”

It’s not forgiveness. But it’s close.

“So what do I do now?” I ask her.

“Just tell me one thing first, do you love him?”

I stare at her for a second. “He’s my son, Soph. Of course I love him.”

She shakes her head. “Not Nate. Alexander. Are you in love with him?”

“Oh,” I say in surprise before quickly recovering “I loved him nine years ago, Soph but I was too afraid to say it. Now it feels like the universe is giving me a second chance and I’m so scared of ruining it.”

Sophia nods like my answer pleases her. She stands up and I follow suit.

“Do right by him first, sorella. If you manage to find happiness and hold on to it, then maybe I’ll forgive you.”

My jaw drops, “Wait, what?”

“You heard me. You’re great at working hard to get what you want. Just fight for love. For once, fight for something worthwhile. I promise I’ll be there on the other side if you do.”

We stare at each other for a couple of seconds. Before she goes, I realize there’s something I need to tell her. Something I should have been telling her all this while.

“Mom would have been proud of you, Sophia,” I say softly.

Because despite it all, I know our mother would have preferred that we lived our lives away from the outfit. She would have wanted us to be happy with a family of our own and Sophia succeeded in that. She managed to forge her own path.

My sister’s eyes soften. “She would have been proud of you too.”

I know that to be true as well. I kept my promise to our mother. I took care of Sophia, I kept our family together. So even if I know in my heart she would have not been comfortable with my position as Don, I know she would understand that I am what I was made.

I am my father’s daughter.

After leaving Sophia, I drive to Xander’s penthouse. Right now, all I want if for him to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. For some reason, hearing him say the words always manages to put me at ease. I think about the condition Sophia gave me for forgiveness. It all seems so simple, but if there’s one thing I know about love and matters of the heart, they never are.

I take the elevator up to the house and as soon as it opens, I hear shouting.

“For fucks sake. I said you can’t stay here. I’ll find you a hotel somewhere but I don’t want you anywhere near me or Nate.”

Xander rarely ever raises his voice.

“How dare you speak to me this way? Is this how I raised you?!” a woman shouts back.

My footsteps fall to a stop at that.

“Please, don’t make me laugh. You didn’t raise me, mother. All you did was give birth to me.”

I stay quietly at the entrance to the living room, barely breathing. Xander doesn’t talk much about his mother. I know their relationship is strained, I also know she was absent for most of his life. But hearing the pain in his voice as he addresses her causes a painful crack in my chest.

“Enough with this victim complex you have. I am here for you, Alexander. To help you,” his mother says, her voice manipulative.

Each word feels like dripping honey mixed with poison.

“No, you’re here to help yourself. You’re here out of spite because you can’t bear the thought of me losing the company to Graham or hell even Mikayla. You have never cared about me.”

“Your judgment is warped, Alexander. I am not going to abandon you because you’re my son.”

“You’ve overstayed your welcome. Good bye, mother.”

I realize a second too late that I’m standing right by the entrance. My breath stops as Jessica Steele appears in view, pulling a red suitcase behind her.

Fuck.

She recognizes me. It’s clear in the way her lips curl in disgust at the sight of me. I make sure to meet her glare with one of my own. She laughs coldly.

“Of course you would be here,” she states. “Katerina, is it? It’s good that you’re here. I’ve wanting to meet you all this while.”