Chapter 58

Ira

God help me, I'm more excited than a kid learning how to drive.

More excited than a kid stealing Dad's car and winging how to drive so they can sneak off to their first rock concert. Not that I know anything about that…

You see, it's Wednesday. The day Katie is going to put on her collar and not take it off for a whole three days. Her body won't be the only thing that's mine. She'll do anything I command – within reason – learning how to serve as well as submit.

Not just sexually. Beyond sexually.

As I've told you before, I don't think much about living the BDSM life full-time. I know plenty of couples who do that and are very happy. I've said before that I think it could be draining and even limiting – from my end. That's why I think three days is a good limit. Katie can handle three days, and that's probably about as long as I can handle too.

Fuck I'm excited!

I haven't seen her all day. She's working, but she's taking care of certain matters on the other side of town while I continue to oversee the remodel at The Ace. I won't see her until after dinner. She's coming to my place with an overnight bag full of day clothes and a few other things I've asked her to bring.

I mailed her the collar, requesting she show up wearing it. Any inhibitions needed to be dealt with before she arrived. And yes, she had a few. During a phone call last night, she requested that I give her an hour or two a day to take off her collar and recharge. I was glad she had that kind of foresight. She must take care of herself like that.

It makes me even more excited. You have no idea.

Dinner is take-out again. Vivian joins me in my kitchen, where we discuss her family life and talk briefly about mine. I haven't told anyone about Kathleen, although I think my assistant suspects it. She's quick like that.

"That Kathleen Allen sure gives you a run for your money," she says with a twinkle in her eye. "That kind of woman could be good for you."

Don't I know it.

Vivian leaves a half hour before Kathleen is due to arrive. I do some light cleaning, as I always do before my Katie is scheduled to come to me for more than a work chat. Far from the first time, and don't get me wrong… I love dimming the lights, lighting a few scented candles, and straightening up my couch to get ready for some serious girlfriend stuff.

Are we girlfriends? I suppose. God knows she's one of the only ones I would allow to call me her girlfriend. Kinda exciting, really. Thrilling!

The doorbell rings right at eight. I put on a spritz of cologne, enough for Kathleen to notice, and answer the door.

I'm not disappointed.

She's dressed as I requested, in a T-shirt and cotton shorts, her strappy sandals cute and her ponytail youthful. I'm sure she felt silly going between her apartment and my condo in that.

What gets me, however, is the collar twinkling around her throat. The moment I see it, I have to contain what I've got going on in my imagination. No sense losing it right now.

Especially around Kathleen Allen, collared or not.

"Katie," I say, opening my door so she can come in. "Good to see you." She drags in her overnight bag and waits for me in the living room. "Did you bring everything you need?"

Silence spreads between us. Silence, aside from the cat yowling in the corner of the room because there's a damned visitor. We both look at Saoirse, who quickly realizes she's not going to get the due attention she thinks she deserves and saunters into the library.

The silence continues.

The corner of Kathleen's mouth twitches. Starting three or so weeks ago, she readily put on the collar and played out a scene for an hour or two. I'm asking for a lot more now. We're going to be having a full scene for the next three days. So now I get to see that hint of rebellion in her face again.

I love it. Never before have I had a sub who resisted me so much at times. Not that I want her to actually resist me. That's not a good sign of a woman enjoying herself – not unless she gets off on that kind of behavior. Those women are rare, in my experience, and Katie is certainly not one of them.

Our eyes lock from across the room. She's dressed like a petulant girl, but I know that her heart beats with purpose and her mind is ticking away, thinking about everything I could do to her – to humiliate her.

I want to assure everyone that I am not into humiliation, per se. I don't get off on lowering partners in status and watching them struggle for their bearings. It's one thing to challenge a sub's way of thinking, to open her mind to a new world of endless, sexual possibilities. It's quite another to make her feel embarrassed and hate herself.

There's no good in that.

I like to think that by this point Kathleen knows I'm not like that. I'm not going to debase her for my amusement. I'm not going to ask more from her than I know she can handle. Sure, I may overestimate her current abilities, but I would never, ever make her negatively uncomfortable on purpose. I want her to enjoy these next three days. It will be a bit rough at first, sure, but eventually…

Eventually, she'll find the joy in it.

"I brought everything… sir."

What a bite. I don't recall asking her to call me the masculine "sir," but I'll allow it this time. Mistress sounds better on her tongue.

"Good. You can put your bag in the bedroom. Did you eat dinner?"

She picks up her overnight bag and heads to my room. "Yes," she says. "Did you?"

I don't answer. She's in the other room, putting her things away. I go into the kitchen and pour glasses of Chardonnay. When I look up, Kathleen is standing on the other side of my island counter, her countenance stern and her lips pursing to the point of absurdity.

"Well?" she says, hands on her hips. "What do you want of me?"

Sarcasm. Her favorite defense mechanism.

"Relax, darling." Oh, I'm getting defensive too. I want to defend my honor as a dominant. And as a Domme? I want to put her in her place. Yet I know that's not a good idea at the moment. "No need to be on edge." I hold up the drink. "Wanna watch something on TV?"

Her mouth twists in disbelief. Yes, Kathleen, thus far every time you get collared, we have sex. I'm sorry, however, I can't have sex for three days straight. Maybe you can…

"Do I get a choice, Mistress?"

"You always have a choice." She's starting to get on my nerves. Kathleen the Domme is here, not Katie my sweet sub.

Good thing I don't plan on any sex tonight.

Does that surprise you? Here I was, all excited because I get Kathleen any way I like. My heart's been like a little springboard ever since I woke up this morning. My plans? Don't ask me how many websites I looked through, or how much shopping I considered before deciding to stay with some of my tried and true favorites. There's no small part of me that's urging me to touch and taste every inch of this delectable body.

I've already decided that we're not having sex today, no matter how much I want to bend her over my couch and fuck us both senseless. I'm practicing everything I know about self-control as I take her hand and bring her to the couch, where I give her Chardonnay to help her ease into her role. There's nothing on TV, so I put in a movie. Nothing sad. Nothing overly funny. It is a run-of-the-mill drama that hinges on beautiful scenery more than it does a story.

Because neither of us are paying attention.

Kathleen is waging a war in her mind, like the first and second nights she submitted to me. I understand. Okay, I don't understand, but I understand this is something she has to go through. Whatever she's thinking, I hope it ends in both of our favor.

I put my arm around her. I hold her close to me. I almost take off her collar so she'll feel more comfortable. After thirty seconds or so, however, she relaxes, placing her hand against my chest and drawing her legs up onto the couch.

This is a position she would have chosen with the collar on or not. It's not necessarily submissive, but in our current state of mind, it is. She's deciding to trust me. She's lowering her guard. She's making me feel like a king without realizing it.

Maybe not a king. More like a protective knight.

Kathleen is a fragile woman. She won't let you think it easily, but I can tell. I can see it within her. By now, I like to think I know her well enough to know this about her. No matter how much she postures, talks smack, or glares at me, I know that deep inside she's as fragile as any other human being. She wants to trust. She wants to fall in love.

She wants to submit.

Katie, the whole point of the final part of your training is to help you see what you're capable of. What you can feel when you finally let yourself go. And I mean go.

It's not enough to put on a collar two hours a week and not feel guilty about me tying you up, spanking you, and fucking you as hard as I can. You need to completely let go and put your life in my hands.

In turn, I will be testing my limits as a Domme who swears to take care of her sub.

You're a woman worthy of taking care of, my sweet.

"How are you feeling?" I ask toward the end of the movie, my hand sneaking up her shirt and stroking the small of her back. I intend to be soothing, not sexual, but I feel her body tense, becoming alert to my intimate touch. "We should probably go to bed soon."

It's not even ten, but I'm tired. I don't doubt that Kathleen is too, what with running around town all day while dealing with her mental battles. Nothing sounds better than holding her in my arms in bed, drifting off to sleep with the scent of her shampoo in my nose.

Well, that and sex, but like I said, that's not happening tonight. I want her completely relaxed before tackling that in this context.

Kathleen lifts her head, hand against my chest. "I'm fine. Suppose we could go to bed…"

Her voice is heavy. No matter how many reassurances I give her tonight, she needs me to audibly say it.

"No sex." I stroke her hair, so fine and soft between my fingers. "Let's get ready for bed and go to sleep. Tomorrow, we'll talk more about what's going to happen through Saturday."

Kathleen doesn't know it, but we have a date to round out these BDSM festivities.

"All right."

If she had asked to have sex anyway, that may have swayed me to make love to her. Except she didn't ask that, and I didn't think she would.

I clean up in the living room as she gets ready for bed in my bathroom. The faucet runs. She brushes her teeth and washes her face. She's adorable in her shirt and shorts, the ponytail swishing back and forth as she dries her face with a small towel.

My hand brushes against her ass as I approach the sink. She stiffens. "Why don't you go turn down the bed while I freshen up in here?"

She glances at me in the mirror. A flash of "Why don't you go jump off a cliff?" is in there, but I ignore it. Be feisty, Kathleen. That only makes it more fun.

By the time I finish in the bathroom, Katie has completely turned down the bed and is about to get in her side by the window. Before she put her knee on the mattress, however, I say, "Take off the shorts. And the underwear."

She stops, glaring at me, saying nothing. In time, she slips off, putting her thumbs in the elastic of her cotton shorts and shoving them toward the carpet. The underwear goes with them until she's completely bare from the waist down.

I'm also in a T-shirt and boxers, my usual fare for sleep when I'm not going naked. I turn off my light and climb into bed, inviting her to join me.

She probably wonders why I asked her to get naked down below. She doesn't ask, however. Yet I give her a short spiel about wanting to feel her skin against mine as we sleep.

I mean… there's a lot of truth to that. I am also someone with a lot of kinky plans.