6. Restless Fire

6. Restless Fire

Niles

“GO, DAISZEK! GO!” I scream at the top of my lungs, tears running wild down my face as I throw the giant lock to the sand.

I did it! I fucking did it.

But I’m unable to celebrate. Sweat drenches my tunic. My lungs seize up at the sudden shock of pain rippling through flesh, through organs, through my goddammed soul.

I look down as I start flailing about.

Bright orange flames eat at my skin like a fast-acting virus.

I howl in agony as it spreads up my arm and over my neck. It’s a thousand blades slicing through my skin. It’s acid melting through my veins.

All I can do is launch my body toward the sand and pray that I can extinguish this fire myself. I get lucky when I see DaiSzek bulldoze through the flaming pikes. The sheer force of his gallop is unstoppable. Yes, I’ve made the right choice. But all I can think about is my body exploding in yellow light. The smell of burning flesh and smoke surrounded me at every turn.

“Help meeeeee!” I wail, crawling through the opening and rolling toward the ocean waves.

Water. I need water.

I’m going to die here.

But at least I’ll have saved them all by freeing the black beast.

Sand rains in my vision like a storm of fine mist. I don’t even know which direction I’m throwing my body as the motion of flames, waves, and the searing pain blur together.

I didn’t get to say goodbye to Chekiss.

I didn’t get to find a one true love. A soul mate. A person I’ll love until my last breath. Maybe they knew I’d die young. Maybe they’re waiting for me in heaven.

“I’m here, Niles.”A soft, soothing voice wraps around my sweltering body, shaking in terror. “I’m here.”

I jolt awake with a shaky gasp. Cold, cold, cold, yet burning on the inside. It was a nightmare. A reoccurring hellhole I fall into when I close my eyes. A prison far worse than this Vexamen trap. I blink away the warm tears pooling in my eyes, search my surroundings for an anchor. Bars. Black brimstone walls. Flickering red and yellow lights. And the disturbing tune that sounds like a broken record.

But the pain of the fire hasn’t gone away. My arm vibrates with a sting so severe, I have to grit my teeth, clench every muscle, and hiss to release some of the tension.

Where’s my cream?

We’re in prison. We didn’t bring the medicine that takes this agony away.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? I’ll die if I must endure this pain without the salve I need. Do I wake the others? Do I start screaming? I’m two seconds from this becoming unbearable. A force that won’t let me suffer in silence.

“I’m here.” That voice from my nightmare scares the shit out of me. I jerk away from the sound, gawking in the dark at the cage to my left.

It’s Marilynn. She’s pressing herself against the bars, reaching for me with a cold panic tightening her cheeks.

“Hi.” I try to wave, but the heat flares across my shoulder at the gesture. “Sorry. Did I wake you?” I grit through clenched teeth.

“I can help,” Marilynn says, still reaching her arm out for me.

Like an idiot, I take her hand and shake it.

“No, give me your foot.” Her voice is like steam from a hot bath, but her face still wears that grumpy, unapproachable mask.

Oh. Foot. “Why?” I hiss but stretch my leg out to her anyway. “It’s kind of dirty. Normally I’m very hygienic. But as you can see, we’re in prison and barefoot.” Every word comes out strained like I’m moments from screaming.

She throws her long red hair over her shoulder and begins massaging my foot. I raise my eyebrows. “What’re you doing?” I ask.

“It’s for chronic pain. I’m trying to find the spot…ah, there it is.”

Her fingers pinch a spot in the center of my foot. At first, it’s painful, sharp, but after a moment I sigh loudly. It’s as if she unplugged the drain that is holding my suffering. It’s a slow release. But fuck, it feels amazing.

“Holy shit,” I breathe. “How’d you do that?”

The fire under my skin isn’t gone. Not even close. But it certainly reeled it in, taming the eternal flames.

“Just a technique I learned from one of the colonies.”

I nod, lowering myself with a slow exhale. Relief. Sweet, sweet relief.

“Thank you. I would have woken up the entire prison if left to manage it alone.”

Marilynn doesn’t respond. Her ocean-blue eyes watch me with an unreadable expression. My eyes trail over her lazily. Her cherry-red lips. Her attire, intended as a uniform, struggles to rein in her generous form. Creamy white skin covered in freckles.

“You don’t say much, huh?” I whisper.

“Not nearly as much as you.”

I chuckle.

“We need to get you medicine for these burns,” she muses, still adding pressure to my foot. “You think this prison has a medic?”

“Unlikely. But maybe they’ll let us out so we can get one.” I wink.

Marilynn’s lips part.

“It was a joke. I’m really funny and make them sometimes.” Hello? Have you heard of sarcasm? She’s so stiff. I’m going to have to pay her back for this pain relief by teaching her how to have a sense of humor.

“Yeah.” Her cheeks blossom in color. Dark red spreads down her neck, reaching her ears and collarbone. “That was funny.” Though her soft face remains untouched by humor or any sign of a positive reaction.

I nod. It was funny.

Her small hands work my foot with precision. I wonder what happens when she lets go. Will the pain come back? Will it hit me like a rogue wave? I decide it’s best to distract myself, just in case this doesn’t last. It would suck if I wasted this time thinking about the pain instead of enjoying it.

“You were engaged to Aurick,” I prompt, studying her immediate reaction to his name.

Marilynn recoils but recovers quickly. “Yes.”

“Wow. That sounds…sickening.”

I don’t think I will ever forgive The Demechnefs. Aurick’s father tortured and killed mine. And made me believe he was a monster. A predator to his own son. I ended up in the asylum because of it. I ended up being hosed down by Belinda like an animal in a cage.

But Charles never gave in. He loved me. He fought for me.

My heart pumps acid to my arteries. I could vomit just thinking about this if there was any food in my stomach to turn over.

“But you ran away from him,” I add.

“I did.”

“Do you still love him?” I can imagine Chekiss smacking me upside the head right now. I’m invasive. I know. Okay, but my mouth has a mind of its own. It just blurts out anything.

“I think a part of me will always love him a little.” Her chest moves up and down with slow, uneven breaths. “But it isn’t the kind of love that’s written about in fairy tales. It’s the kind that hurts you in the end. The kind that cuts deeply and doesn’t quite heal right.”

“I understand.” Now she’s speaking my language. I know love. It was my only anchor in this sick world. It was the only shining beacon leading me back to shore.

“What about you?” She pinches the spot on my foot harder. “Have you found your fairy tale love?”

I don’t know why, but that question makes me want to sob into my hands like a little boy. It’s what I’ve always wanted. What I’ve dreamed of my entire life. A soul mate. A lover to grow old with. I can see it when I watch Skylenna with Dessin or Kane. The way her whole world shifts, slows down, pauses just to see him smile.

I want that desperately.

Probably more than anyone here.

But there are times I feel unworthy. As if I’m fated to die alone like some cosmic irony.

“No. I have never been loved, nor have I ever been in love.” The words taste like ash and hopelessness on my tongue.

“That makes you sad.”

“Of course, it does,” I snap with a sharp tone. “Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. It would be a tragedy if I died here without ever experiencing it.”

“You’re not going to die here, Niles.” Marilynn grimaces. Those plump, cherry-red lips turning downward.

I laugh quietly. “It’s looking pretty grim.”

We remain quiet for a few minutes while she continues to massage my foot. I’d feel guilty that she’s staying up late to do this for me if it wasn’t relieving so much pain. I’m so fucking grateful; I wish I could give her a hug.

“Thank you for being kind to me,” I say sleepily.

She wakes up from a deep thought, looking me over with those wide, ocean-blue eyes.

“I get teased a lot. I don’t mind that at all, because I wield my humor like a sword. I love to laugh and to make others laugh. But sometimes it’s nice to be seen and respected.”

Rambling. I always ramble. It’s bad enough that this poor girl is rubbing my foot to keep me from waking up the prison with my screams. Now I’m talking her ear off.

“I see.”

Marilynn leans her forehead against a bar, steering her contemplative expression away from me as she reflects.

“I think you’re a good man,” she adds in a whisper. “When you go to sleep tonight, maybe you’ll dream of your soul mate instead of having a nightmare.”

I smile sadly. “Maybe.”