40. For Ruth

40. For Ruth

Skylenna

“Where did you take her?” Warrose asks.

I let go of Ruth’s face, sighing at how peacefully she sleeps in his arms. Her brunette curls are damp with sweat, her face is gray and depleted of color, and the rest of her body seems to shrivel in on itself. I force myself to look at Warrose.

“Ambrose Oasis,” I reply with a long exhale. “She’s running with DaiSzek there.”

Dessin massages my shoulders, planting a slow kiss on the crook of my neck. There’s still tension between us. In a way, I harmed his trust in me, in our communication by going up to the Bird’s Nest. If the roles had been reversed, I would have a hard time forgiving him. But he’s hurting, too, from Ruth’s tragedy. I can see it in his cloudy eyes; he feels responsible for her. For all of us. There’s guilt in his chest the same way it’s sitting in mine. He understands my breakdown and why I felt like I had no way out.

“She’s running?” Warrose eyes become circular and misty.

“Yes.”

He slumps a little against the bars digging into his back.

“I can keep sending her there through the worst of the pain,” I add sleepily, then turn to Dessin. “What’s our main concern with her recovery right now?”

“Blood loss and infection.”

Nervous energy clenches my muscles and curdles my stomach. I open my mouth to respond, but a hunched movement snags my gaze. Small sniffles and something dripping against a puddle on the floor.

Niles does his best to mop up Ruth’s vomit with an old rag. But as he cleans, tears leak from his eyes straight to the floor without making contact with his cheeks.

“Niles.” Marilynn touches the back of his arm.

He shrugs her off.

Sadness swells in my throat like a balloon about to pop. I swallow, commanding myself to be strong for him. “Talk to us, Niles.”

He mumbles something, continuing to scrub.

“What’s that now?” I ask.

“She won’t make it through another Fun House Night!” he howls, his cries rushing through the halls of the prison. “Look at her!”

I look down at the bloody bandages and clothes wrapped around Ruth’s legs. He’s right. They make prisoners participate no matter what state of health they’re in.

“I don’t care what kind of plan you two have to come up with! Make me a fucking decoy to die here, I DON’T CARE! Just get Ruthie out! Please!”

My heart shreds into thin, lifeless strings as I look at Dessin. He’s watching me with a hard, determined stare. Like he’s waiting for me to come to the same conclusion he’s already arrived at.

I have to get out first.

He was right.

If it’s our best option, then nothing else matters.

I nod to him with my reluctant understanding. Letting the devastating reality of this new plan, new predicament, settle into my belly like rotting food. Leaving my family behind feels dirty and evil. I’d die for them. I’d gladly make myself the decoy to get them out. But looking down at Ruth’s shivering, frail body…I know what must be done.

“We have a few days until the next Fun House Night. We’ll have a plan,” I say, looking into Niles’s puffy eyes.

“Let’s get some sleep. I’ll take the first watch on Ruth.” Dessin holds me in his strong arms as he arranges himself to have a clear view of Ruth, with enough room to check her vitals throughout the night.

“Wake me up when it’s my turn,” I whisper with my eyes closed.

“I will.”

And I know that’s a lie. With something this traumatic, his system won’t be getting any sleep tonight.

~

Dessin

I spend the entire nightworking through different scenarios to get Skylenna out first.

But I only land on one that would be the most efficient. However, it depends on Skylenna. Her mind. The void. I still don’t fully understand how it works, and I’m not sure she does either.

If she can force Kaspias into the prison void, maybe she can get him to sneak her out. He’s a commander with high clearance. At this point, with all he’s done, I don’t give a shit if she fucks up his brain to get herself out.

Neither do I, Kane says near the front.

About fucking time, Kalidus adds.

I’ve been dissociating throughout the whole night. Performing surgery on Ruth that might very well have killed her was damaging to our system. The amount of blood, the complexity of rearranging her nerve endings, and keeping my hands from shaking was enough to send other alters racing to the front for different reasons.

And on top of everything, my heart nearly exploded in my chest as I realized where Skylenna ran off to. The Bird’s Nest. I had my doubts, but seeing her face told me all I needed to know. She blamed herself for Scarlett’s death. And this hit too close to home. It triggered an abrupt emotional response that she had the day she found Scarlett hanging in that closet. The day she tried to burn her house down with her inside it.

I should have figured it out sooner. But I was only focused on making sure Ruth survived the surgery.

A foul wrath races through my veins, pounding into my brain at the thought of losing Skylenna after everything we’ve been through. What the fuck would I have done? Would she really have jumped if Scarlett hadn’t stopped her?

She wouldn’t have done it, Kane says with unwavering confidence.

How do you know?I ask him.

I know she probably thought she was going to. But we’re soul mates. She wouldn’t move on without us. I know her better than I know myself, Dess.

I sigh, dropping my head to kiss Skylenna’s hair, breathing her into my lungs, and closing my eyes as I fantasize taking her far away from here. Building a house in the Red Oaks and eventually giving her the castle she deserves.

Warrose’s vibrant eyes shake me from the thoughts I’ve buried myself in. Ruth looks so small, withering away in his massive embrace. He circles her in his brawny arms, absently caressing her arm.

“How long have you been awake?” I ask in a low voice.

He shrugs one big shoulder. “Long enough to see you haven’t slept.”

I haven’t slept much these days at all. How long will my body be able to keep up?

“How does her skin feel?” I lift my chin in Ruth’s direction. “Hot? Cold? Is she running a fever?”

Warrose glances down, shifts his hand silently over her forehead, then to her cheek, and last her neck. “She’s a little warm. But no fever.”

I let out a breath of relief. “Good. And her pulse?”

He places two fingers on her throat, waiting silently in anticipation.

“It’s okay. A little weak.”

“We need to get fluids in her system.”

He agrees with a soft grunt.

I watch the way he moves her damp curls away from her face, how his brow wrinkles together as he gazes down at her. He blows out air with an exhale that tells me he keeps holding his breath.

“You really like her,” I state.

Warrose doesn’t look up at me. He merely bows his head once.

“Has anything else happened between you two?”

The conversation I’m starting feels a little out of our comfort zone. We don’t talk about our attraction to women. Kane has discussed Skylenna, his one true love, with Warrose before when they were younger. They were far more open about their feelings than I have ever been comfortable with.

“We kissed the night before…”

My eyes fall closed. “Before Kaspias fucked us.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And it meant something to both of you?” The question sounds moronic and obvious the moment it reaches our ears.

“Yes.”

“And now?”

His eyes snap up to mine with mild aggression. “Now more than ever.”

I’m happy to hear that. Even though I’ve been snippy and cold with Ruth, I…I love her, too. She feels like the sister I never had. And watching that axe crack into her legs was enough to split pieces of my soul off and throw them into a black pit of flames.

And worst of all, I wasn’t there. I tried to break free too late. If only I figured out Kaspias’s body language immediately. But he’s the hardest person to read I have ever met, aside from Judas.

“We’re going to get her out,” I assure him evenly.

“How?”

“Skylenna needs to target Kaspias. Get inside his head. If she can get him to let his guard down, she can slip into the void. From there, if he can get us all out unnoticed, great. If not, he needs to get Skylenna out so she can bring the armies in that are probably waiting at the shoreline.”

Warrose bites his lip in thought. “He won’t be able to get us all out.”

I know.