38. Bonds Through Life And Death

38. Bonds Through Life And Death

Skylenna

I slide off the edgeand onto the roof’s floor in a crying heap next to Scarlett.

“You’re really here,” I say through a gasp.

“I’ve always been here. I’ve heard every prayer. Every thought asking me to watch over you. I’ve never left your side,” she says with that special smile she’d save for a rainy day.

And this most certainly is my day of storm.

I stare at her through the thick glaze of tears, memorizing the details of her face I took for granted. The way she blinks slowly, like she knows something I don’t. The small ring of brown lining the outside of the circle of deep, forest green in her irises. She’s always looked sick, though. The kind that makes your eyes puffy or your cheeks sunken in. With chapped lips, missing patches of hair, and the whites of her eyes always yellow or pink.

She doesn’t look that way now.

She’s healthy. Beaming with a soft white light. She’s happy.

My Scarlett is happy.

“You’re…okay?” She knows what I’m asking. At least, she should. It’s been my greatest fear since she left me.

“I made it to heaven, Skylenna. And it’s so beautiful here.” She hugs her golden arms to her chest, looking up at the cloudy sky and seeing something I don’t.

“But the Bible…”

“There are things in the Bible that were rewritten, misinterpreted, or taken too literally. Not to mention, it was written in a different world altogether. God knows my heart. He knew how much pain I suffered. He welcomed me home with open arms.”

I cry into my hands, thanking God with more relief than I’ve ever felt. She wraps herself around me, breathing only love and light into my being as I shudder, and my sobs turn into bellowing wails. I tell her what I did to Ruth. I tell her about the day I watched Dessin die in my arms. About the asylum. About Absinthe and Albatross. And she holds me from behind, rocking me side to side as I get it all out.

“God gave you all of this to bear because you aren’t any ordinary girl,” she whispers against my tangled hair. “You are his warrior angel. You are cut from a cloth of the Almighty. You, sweet Skylenna, are the best there is.”

Her words trigger a wave of reactionary goose bumps to rise over every inch of skin.

“You and Dessin were meant to change worlds. Can’t you feel it?”

I can. Like an eternal flame that was lit in the base of my soul. The connection we’ve always had has felt stronger than just a childhood friendship. It has felt written in the stars. Biblically bound to our fates.

“And you want to know something else?” she asks, and it’s so strange that it’s my voice. A little rougher around the edges. A little different in tone. I haven’t heard it in so long. Only in my memory.

“Yes.”

“God gifted you with a family that would die for you. That would burn for you. That would hold your broken body in their arms all night to keep you alive. That would lose their legs for you. That would follow you into hell with no promise to ever make it out again. They have. They will keep fighting for you, just as you will change the world for them.”

I have been so absorbed in my own faults; I haven’t simply taken the time to appreciate my family for what they’ve done for me. Ruth deserves my love and presence while she recovers. She deserves me to help her get the hell out of here.

“Why am I suddenly able to see you?” I ask quietly.

“You’ve always been able to. We’re told we can’t at a young age, so our brains form that boundary. Experiencing something so horrific as what happened to Ruth broke that limit for you. The same way losing Dessin and Kane broke a limitation in your mind to access the void. Each trauma that leaves a scar on your soul allows you to surpass a new barrier. That’s how you’re able to perform these impossible wonders.” She wipes my tears away with the back of her hand. “And now, after this terrible tragedy…you can see those who have died.”

“Will I be able to see you again?”

“All you have to do is pray to me, and I’ll come.”

I smile against the violent gusts.

Scarlett turns me around to face her. “But Skylenna, you don’t have much time left here. Use your gifts. Dig deeper. You and Dessin have the power of all the warrior angels that have come before you.”

We embrace with a long sigh, holding each other close like I would in a dream. As if I’ll never see her again. But at least now, I know I will. She’s always with me. I’ll find strength in that, even through the darkest of times to come.

As I walk to the big red door, I turn my head to see my Scarlett has dissolved into thin air. Gone with the clouds. Back where she belongs, at home, in heaven.

I reach my hand down to touch the iron doorknob, not even adding pressure, as the door snaps open, blasting wide so fast I have to jump back.

Dessin comes to a panting halt in front of me. Sweat-slicked chest, eyes alert and wild, with hands balling into fists.

“No…” he grunts, taking a cautious step toward me. “I didn’t want to find you up here.”

I stand my ground but am left speechless at his expression. His darkened gaze fills with tears as he takes me in. One fist rises to meet his mouth like he’s doing everything he can to hold in a breakdown.

“Skylenna,” he chokes out, struggling to catch his breath.

“I’m okay,” I blurt out. “See?” I quickly pat my body to show that I’m unharmed.

But it doesn’t matter. I’m up here. I’m in the Bird’s Nest.

“Youthought about it. You were going to leave me, weren’t you?”

I flinch at the first sign of real insecurity in his tone. Of real heartbreak.

I scramble to explain my lapse in sanity. “Seeing what happened to Ruth…I lost my mind, Dessin. I could have stopped it. I fucked up, and I thought everyone would be better off without me. It was a moment of true insanity.”

He turns away from me, hiding his face, either in anger or because he doesn’t want to show weakness. And it feels like someone has ripped out my soul and stomped on it.

“Dessin, I didn’t do it.” My bottom lip quivers, seeing him so torn up. “I love you, and I won’t leave you. I won’t ever leave you.”

He spins back to look at me incredulously. “I don’t think you understand. If I ever lost you, I wouldn’t last the week. There are no alters my brain could split off to bear that kind of pain. There’s nothing my mind could do to protect itself from that loss. I would simply stop breathing and find you again in the afterlife.”

“Oh, Dessin…” My voice breaks, and I throw myself against him, roping my arms around his neck, feeling the way his warm frame tightens around me. He shudders as my breath grazes the space between his shoulder and neck. “I’m sorry. I love you. I love you so much.”

“Don’t scare me like that again, baby.”

“I promise I won’t.”

He pushes me away only to crash his lips over mine, opening his mouth until I’m breathing his air, tasting his hot tongue gliding across my bottom lip. He breaks the connection, giving me fast, aggressive kisses on my lips, cheeks, forehead, jaw. I sigh against him, smiling through tears at the smoky sky.

“Scarlett made it to heaven,” I say as he stops to look into my eyes.

“Come again?”

“When I was…on the edge of the roof. She came to me. Told me I can see those who have passed on now. I’m not sure how it works, but she told me she made it to heaven. She’s so happy now.” I’m panting, swallowing against a sandpaper throat.

He blinks, processing this news the way he always does.

“Do you believe me?” I ask.

He leans down to kiss me again. “Yes. I do.”

I sigh, resting my forehead against his.

“Are you…are you able to…”

I know exactly what he wants to ask.

“I don’t know how it works yet.” I run my hands through his cowlicked, brown hair growing longer with our time here. “But the moment I do, I’ll tell you.”

He closes his eyes, listening to someone’s thoughts running through his mind.

“Good.”

“There’s something else,” I add.

“Tell me.”

“Scarlett said our time here is almost up. To use my gifts. That we have the power of warrior angels and should dig deeper.”

I can almost feel her skin still on mine. The sugary scent of blueberry pie.

Dessin mind races as he watches me. “I need you to promise me something.”

I raise an eyebrow.

“If you have the window to escape without us, I need you to take it.”

I don’t even blink at his suggestion.

“No.”

“Skylenna, listen to me.” He grabs my shoulders firmly. “Ruth isn’t in good shape. We’re going to need help to escape with her. It just became so much more complicated than before this happened to her.”

“But—”

“I won’t leave without her,” he says with a raised chin.

“We can get out together!” I argue.

“No, I don’t think we can. The escape plan I have would kill Ruth. The sewage system is our best bet. That kind of bacteria and physical strain would cause her to get an infection or stop her heart. If we get you out, you can lead the armies here. Do you understand?”

I ache everywhere but nod sluggishly. Nothing about abandoning my family feels right. But if it’s our best option to save Ruth and get everyone out alive, how can I refuse?