Chapter Fifteen

Maureen

T hat moment in between sleeping and waking is sacred. It contains an infinite amount of magic in those few seconds. When I realize my dreams are just dreams, and reality hasn't quite set in yet. It's a conscious slumber where my soul feels untethered to my body. Where I am just Maureen. Not a Blackwell, or a Gray, or belonging to Nocturnus. I'm just me. It's when I remember who I am most. And then it's gone, fading away into the farthest reaches of my mind like a distant memory.

I roll over to find Riot awake and gazing back at me. This part of the day is when I know who he is the most too. When the pressures and demands of the coven haven't settled in yet. He blinks back the sleep from his blue eyes, and they're filled with tenderness and wonder. They haven't had the chance to harden. His face is strange yet angelic. His black hair messy and soft.

"What are you thinking about, Firecracker?" His voice is raspy like honey on sandpaper.

I stroke his cheek. "You."

He clasps my hand to his. "Tonight is going to be chaos."

"Why?" There never seems to be a dull moment for us these days.

He kisses my fingers. "Later. I just want to enjoy the stillness with you right now."

A flurry of nerves swims in my belly. I know that look in his eyes. Trouble is brewing for us. But all I want to do is drown in this moment.

I nod and scoot closer to him. My breath catches in my throat when we lock eyes. I won't ever get over how strikingly beautiful this man is. How wanting him and needing him have become one and the same.

"Did you find anything out about the text messages?" There's something that the guys aren't telling me. I heard Atlas get in late last night. The three of them went down below the house to one of their many chambers. I planned on questioning them, but they were down there so long… I drank too much wine and passed out on the couch.

His eyes darken. "Yes."

"And?" I hate when they keep secrets or withhold stuff from me.

He leans forward and kisses me so softly it leaves my lips tingling. "Not now, Firecracker… Come here." He pulls my hips toward him until I'm flush against his body. His cock twitches beneath his black sweatpants, pulsing against my thigh. I reach in between us and rub my palm against it as his erection grows, relishing how quickly he responds to my touch.

" Fuck ." He pulls my tank top down and pinches one of my nipples. "You're going to be the fucking death of me."

I slip my hand inside his sweats and wrap it around his cock. Sweat trickles down my back as the heat between us grows from a spark to an inferno.

He kisses my neck, hungrily, devouring it while I stroke him up and down. He moans in my ear before biting down hard on my earlobe. The sharpness of his teeth sends shivers over every inch of my body.

I let out a whimper. "Riot… I need you inside me."

"You have too many clothes on." He pushes my panties down and off before climbing on top of me. I yank his sweatpants down as he shifts in between my trembling thighs.

He studies my face, watching my every reaction, as he rolls the tip of his cock up and down my slit. "Damn, you're so fucking wet I could just slide right in."

"Mmm, fuck, Riot. Stop teasing me."

He chuckles and continues to do just that. I practically drool at the sight of him over me. His tattoos and sigils make his body look like a work of art. "I want you to cum first. Grab my cock and use it to get yourself off."

Oh, fuck. I am going to explode. I wrap my hand around him and guide the tip up to my clit. I let out a deep moan as I move it in circles, grinding against it as it stimulates every sensitive nerve.

He fists my tank top, using it to anchor himself as he tries to stifle his grunts. "That's it. Just like that. Take control. Fucking use me ."

" Uhhh ." I shiver as his pre-cum leaks out and drips down my slit. The pressure builds in my core like a fucking trigger. And I know I'm a fucking goner. I jerk my hips as a rush of tingles quakes through my pussy. I grind his tip down on my nub as I buck, my limbs wild.

"Mmm, now I'm going to fuck the life out of you." He shoves my hand away and thrusts his cock inside my soaking wet pussy.

I cry out as my orgasm reaches another level. "Oh, fuck. I'm coming again."

He pushes through my walls, burying himself to the hilt. "So tight. Fuck. I wanna stay inside you forever."

I clench around him, desperate to feel every ridge of his cock as he slides in and out. "You're so good, Riot. So fucking good ."

He grunts as he slams into me over and over again, all while not taking his eyes off mine. We are connected—body and soul. I let out a gurgled cry as I surrender to every single sensation. This pleasure hits deeper within my core this time, bursting from a spot that no one has ever stimulated before.

"You look so fucking beautiful when you cum." He moans louder as his cock throbs against the inside of my pussy. "Fuck. I'm fucking… FUCK."

His cum shoots out, thick and hot, filling me to the brim. He grinds his hips against mine in a frenzy. Our moans collide as we ride each other, our bodies contorting and twisting together as we chase this feral need to consume.

The sigil on my thigh, the one that belongs to Riot, sparks, reminding me of my ruin and my addiction to him. There is nothing I wouldn't do for this man. Nothing I wouldn't let him do to me. But the high I get from seeing him completely unravel for me… the satisfaction of feeling his cum drip down my thighs… there's no amount of alcohol or poison that can come close to this rush.

I whine when he pulls out, my needy pussy still tingling. "You've desecrated my soul, Riot Graves. Fuck."

"Right back at you, love." He lies back down next to me and curls me into his chest. His breath is hot and erratic against my ear. "I'm too fucking greedy with you. Atlas and Val let me take too many liberties."

"That's because they love you." I love you . I'm still scared to say it out loud to him.

He sighs. "They know that I need these quiet moments. That I need to have you to myself sometimes. To keep the darkness from swallowing me up."

I nod. I know too well what he means. Lately, my thoughts have become darker, heavier. It's getting easier and easier to justify what I did. Murder. Killing Billy in Wickford Hollow was not self-defense. It was an act of revenge. Zeke was no different. Holden was right. I enjoyed killing his bastard son.

I shudder as the memories come flooding back. The crack of the belt echoes in my ears. As if I'm back there in the ritual room on all fours—naked and panting in front of them while they lash me. While they get off on punishing me for my sins.

"Hey, Maur. Stay with me," Riot pleads.

I shudder again. "Sorry. I just get lost in my head sometimes."

He hugs me tighter. "Get lost in me, love. Let me carry your burdens."

I choke back a sob. "I don't want to talk about that night… It brought something out of me. Something dirty."

Riot tilts my chin up so I have to look into his eyes. "Don't ever be ashamed of your desires. We will always give you what you want and never judge you for it. Our tastes are dark as well. You know this about us."

He's right, but then why do I still feel so filthy? I've never embraced these parts of me. Never even entertained it for a moment. Back in Wickford Hollow, I would get drunk and let them pass me around. Sometimes, I wasn't conscious when they did it. But it was just your standard blow jobs and getting fucked from behind by dumb football players that reeked of cheap beer and cigarettes.

"Last night, at Swallow , I liked what the three of you made me do. Being watched… it makes me cum harder. My body comes alive, and my sigils respond with so much heat."

Riot drags his thumb across my lower lip. "That's why we did it. We know you, Maur. And if you like being watched then we will make that happen again whenever you want."

What does it say about me that it turns me on when he says stuff like that? We are so fucking toxic, and yet I crave every bit of it.

"Mmm, you know what would turn me on?" he whispers in my ear.

My nipples pebble. "Tell me."

"Watching you touch yourself in front of others. I want to see my woman put on a show, knowing they'll want to fuck you but can't. That only we get to defile your pussy."

Fuck. He knows just what to say to get me going. Liquid pools between my legs.

He slides a finger inside me and moans. "Mmm, fuck. We'll have you on full display. They will fucking worship at your feet."

" Yes ." I can barely breathe. Every inch of me is on fire, obsessed with what he's doing to me right now.

The heat in my body climbs as he pinches my clit between his fingers, rolling it back and forth between his soft pads. "You'll spread your cunt wide open for them… show them everything ."

I jerk my hips as his touch stimulates my core. I can't help but clench around his fingers, desperate to ride this high. "Riot… Fuuck ."

He kisses my cheek. "You see, your pleasure belongs to me. Your pain is mine. There can be no shame because I own every single tremble that passes through your tight little cunt." He grabs my chin and tilts it up. "You can do no wrong, love. You're my dirty little saint."

The hot water soothes my aching limbs. Riot's cum still leaks out of my pussy as I stand here washing myself. I stay in the shower until the water runs tepid, savoring every bit of heat and steam that I can before I have to get dressed and go down to the party.

I put on a pair of tight jeans, black boots, and a purple stretchy V-neck sweater. I leave my hair down so as not to draw attention to the sigils on my neck. I already get side-eyed enough. Everyone knows I have them, but I don't feel like having their eyes on them tonight.

Downstairs is already filling up with students when I make my entrance. They know better than to disrespect me in Nocturnus House, so I get a few timid smiles and head nods as I walk past.

"There you are!" Villette saunters up, looking gorgeous in a white cotton dress and black satin heels.

I give her a hug and instantly feel my anxiety start to dissipate. I was worried that she might have seen her brother watching us last night at Swallow . If she did, there's no indication. "I'm so happy you're here. I don't think I could face the vultures without you."

She hands me a cup with whiskey in it. "Girl, I got you. They're just jealous that the most sought-after guys at Tenebrose are obsessed with you and not them."

I giggle as I take a sip. "Or they're afraid that I'm going to stab them in the graveyard."

She arches an eyebrow. "Yes, probably that too."

Villette wanted to know as little as possible about what happened with Zeke the night of the Winter Solstice Ball. Libra, on the other hand, wanted all the gory details. A little knot forms in my stomach at the thought of her not being here tonight.

"Hey, have you heard from Lib yet? I'm surprised she's not here tonight. She hates missing a party."

Villette shrugs and looks around the room. "I'll text my brother, Bones, tomorrow and try to find out if he's heard anything. She might still be up at her family's estate in Ever Graves."

I nod and take another sip of my drink. My presence is finally starting to go unnoticed as the house fills up with more people. Cocktails and joints are being passed around like candy while the music gets louder, muffling everyone's voices.

Villette walks with me through each room as I try to find the guys. "I had to beg Felix not to crash the party tonight. He still doesn't seem to get that he's a teacher," she shouts over the music.

Thank fuck he's not here tonight. I don't have the nerve to look him in the eye yet. I'm already dreading having to sit through his class tomorrow. I laugh nervously. "It's cause he's so much younger than the rest of them. He's probably bored out of his mind in the faculty lounge." I laugh back.

My pulse ticks when I spot Atlas and Val on the terrace. "Villette, I'll be right back. I have to go do something. You'll be okay?"

The corners of her lips turn up into a smirk. "You mean you gotta go do someone ," she teases. "I'll be fine. Go get your guys."

I give her another hug. "Thanks, babe. See you in a bit."

A burst of cold air sends goosebumps across my skin when I open the terrace doors. Val's eyes are hooded, dark, and venomous as he listens to whatever Atlas is saying to him. I take a deep breath and waltz over.

"Care to fill me in?" I hug my arms to my belly as the wind whips through my hair.

Atlas takes off his leather jacket and drapes it over my shoulders. "Hey, pretty girl."

I look at Val. "One of you needs to start talking."

He flexes his jaw. "Atlas got the fucker who's been stalking you."

My heart skips. "Who is he?"

"Barnaby Withers." Atlas's blue-green eyes fill with a venom that matches Val's.

As I rack my brain, I can't for the life of me picture who they're talking about. "I don't understand. That name means nothing to me."

Atlas snickers. "That's what I said too. But Professor Harker let me in on a little secret. And Firecracker, you're not going to fucking like it."

Val curses under his breath, and I feel all the blood rush to my feet. I swallow hard, my mouth running as dry as sandpaper. "What's going on?" Fuck I should have brought another shot of whiskey out here with me.

"Barnaby Withers is an errand boy for Pisces Thorn," Riot grumbles as he walks up behind me.

Fuck.

I turn to Atlas. "Your father? Why would he hire someone to terrorize me?"

He shrugs before downing one of his many vials of poison. "We're trying to figure that out."

Val lights up a joint, takes a long puff, and passes it to Riot. "We've got the fucker chained up below in the catacombs."

I snatch the joint before Riot can grab it. "Why didn't you cancel the party?" The sigil on the back of my neck prickles. That dark, sinister energy creeps into my bones as I think of all the ways I want to hurt this fucker for violating me. "That asshole went into my room and touched my panties."

"Yeah, he said as much," Atlas quips.

"I'm going to break every bone in his body," Val snaps.

I take a long hit off the joint before passing it back. "Not if I break them all first." The rage within me is becoming a sickness. An addiction that I don't want to curb. The more I feed it, the more alive I feel.

Riot nods. "I recruited a few new initiates. Tonight will be their first test. Let's see if they can keep an eye on our house while we go mutilate Barnaby Withers."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "And after, I want to meet these new initiates. They need to know that they answer to me too now."

His blue eyes glow back at me. "Agreed. We will not have another incident like what happened with Zeke."

I nod, satisfied and kind of impressed with myself for demanding instead of asking. I'm their equal now. I may not have as many sigils as they do, but I will soon. And my power is growing faster than I think any of us are prepared for.

"Shall we then?" Riot holds out his hand to me.

A rush of adrenaline shoots through my fingertips as I clasp his hand. "I need to grab my knife first."