Chapter 5

Iyla

I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT COMPELLED me to say yes. Maybe it was because I was alone in this dark room with a sensual song playing and a hot guy giving me attention that I’d never had before. Maybe it was because I was bored and looking for something to do while I waited on Nahla to have her fun. Maybe it was because Nahla kept encouraging me through happy whispers to let loose this one night, doing whatever I wanted. Maybe it was because in this little room with just Zagan and I, a little secret dance couldn’t hurt anything.

Or maybe it was because I desperately wanted to feel his hands on me. Just for a second. I wanted to take this fleeting chance to simply see for myself what it felt like to be touched and held by someone. And I wanted to see if it was as wrong as my mom always made it out to be.

Now was my chance to do that.

Besides, ever since I’d walked into this house, I could practically feel his attention as though he were actually brushing up against me. It had me restless, nervous, and excited. I wanted to know if his actual touch felt as good as his gaze alone.

And it wasn’t like I was having sex with him.

It was just a harmless dance.

He stepped into me, and my skin electrified with the weight of his torso pressing into my back. My breath hitched with an onslaught of nerves and something sharper. Brighter. Hotter. My eyes fluttered shut as he placed his hands on my hips and slowly started to sway to the beat of the song. I felt his head dip closer to mine, his warm breath on the shell of my ear making goosebumps break out over my skin.

The beat of the music thrummed beneath my feet, and it shot through me as Zagan pressed closer. His hands felt good on my hips—warm, strong, and steady. I found myself secretly wondering what they’d feel like if they moved a bit higher or lower. If having them firmly in place on my waist made me feel this hot, this light, this good , what else could they make me feel?

My body moved against Zagan’s broad form, almost as if I were on autopilot and just letting the hedonic song and druglike-inducing effects of his touch guide me. His hips rocked, and I pushed back into him, moving with his guidance. His hands coasted up my sides, making my stomach tighten with a fresh wave of sickly sweet heat. They glided up my curves, his fingertips nearly brushing the edges of my breasts, before trailing down my arms. He grabbed my hand, and with ease, he stepped back and twirled me around to bring me face to face with him.

My breath got lost in my chest as my eyes locked onto his. A wide grin spread over his lips, and I couldn’t fight the urge to glance at them, imagining how they’d feel pressed on mine. Wondering what those two silver rings on his bottom lip would feel and taste like.

Seeking a distraction from my dangerous thoughts, I met his gaze again and asked, “Do you dance a lot?”

“All the time,” he answered, draping my arms around his shoulders. “Do you?”

I shook my head, continuing to move with the beat. “No. I’ve always admired people who could dance, but I haven’t had many opportunities to try it myself.”

“Well, we can’t have that,” he drawled, amusement lacing his words. “Let me teach you some stuff.”

He pulled me flush against him and placed one hand on my lower back. My entire being sparked as his other hand gripped the back of my thigh, right beneath the hem of my skirt. The warmth of his palm against my bare flesh made my heart thunder harder than the music and sent a dizzying sensation sweeping through my body.

“Lean back,” he whispered against my ear.

At the same time that he gave me directions, he hooked my leg over his hip and dipped me low before slowly circling me around and back up against him.

“Oh my God!” I gave a breathless laugh as we came face to face again. “That was fun.”

“Yeah? We can do more.”

His body moved against mine, his hands pushing and pulling me along with the slow beat of the song. I wasn’t sure if he meant to, but as the seconds ticked by where the two of us continued to rock and sway, I could hear him softly singing along with The Weeknd. His enchanting voice, nearly hidden over the actual track, made a prickle of desire wash over me like a bucket of water being dropped over my head. I swallowed hard and strained to hear him as he grabbed my hand and flung me wide to twirl me in his grasp.

When he spun me back into his arms, I blurted breathlessly, “Sing louder, please.”

He quirked a pierced brow at me and smiled. Pulling me in again, he placed my arms around his shoulders and did as told, singing louder so that I could easily hear him. I pressed further into his hold, my gaze transfixed on his lips as he sang in that deep yet soft tone. My heart thundered. He dipped me low again before curling me back up. This time, my body came to a stop right in front of him. Our noses brushed with the faintest of touches, and mere inches separated our lips as he sang low about dancing with the devil.

I knew I should pull back, but something hungry kept me in place, breathing hard and dancing against him as he sang sweet sins in the miniscule space between us. For the first time in my life, I stopped worrying about everything. Nothing existed outside of this secret moment for just us two. My own little moment of freedom, fun, and fire in my blood.

The song came to an end with another quickly taking its place. I realized then that we’d stopped moving at some point and now stood, locked onto each other, his head leaned down toward mine so that our noses grazed fully and our breath danced across the others lips.

“Thank you for the dance,” he whispered roughly.

I couldn’t seem to find my voice amid the riot of emotions and sensations darting inside of me, so I gave a single soft nod.

His blue eyes looked at my parted lips, and he seemed to tilt closer. “Want to go upstairs?”

My chin dipped in the start of a nod when the warm fog blanketing my mind suddenly cleared.

Upstairs.

Bedrooms.

Sex.

The rumors were true. Zagan was clearly offering to hook up. I’d been having a genuinely good time dancing with and touching a guy that practically stepped out of my ideal romantic fantasy. In doing so, I’d completely forgotten to keep my guard up. I’d stopped hearing my mother’s voice.

But now it was back, pounding into my head like a jackhammer with warnings about what happened to girls who gave into their desires.

I swallowed hard and reluctantly stepped away. He watched me but made no move to reach for me and pull me back, for which I was glad. I’d nearly lost my head with him, and I couldn’t risk getting swept up in his voice and hands again.

I tucked some loose hair behind my ear and cleared my throat. “I-I think I should find Nahla.”

I didn’t wait to hear his response. I spun on my heel and fled the room in search of my friend and my sanity. I mean, what was I thinking, letting myself get swept up in the music and gaze of some hot guy? I knew better than to give into desire.

I peeked into rooms on the first floor, but there was no sign of Nahla or anyone else. The deafening music followed me as I climbed the stairs and checked more rooms to no avail.

“Where is everyone?” I mumbled to myself.

I drew closer to another door when muffled sounds filtered through the barrier amid the pounding tempo of some song. I slowly opened it, and my eyes went wide at the onslaught of sounds and images before me.

Moans and cries of pleasure filled the lounge room.

Nahla leaned over a table, licking at Iseul’s spread pussy as Dante fisted Nahla’s hair and pounded into her from behind. Iseul gripped the edge of the table above her head, gasping around a mouthful of Perseus’s cock while he threw his head back in a rough groan, his hands palming her bare breasts beneath him. Addie was on a couch next to the four of them, watching the display while she bounced on Coldin’s dick, his large hands helping her to keep pace on his lap.

That was all I saw before I quickly pulled the door shut again. I stared at the closed door like a deer in headlights. I’d never seen so much nakedness or heard sounds like that. And the expressions on their faces like they were in pure bliss …

I worked to catch my breath and quickly turned to walk away, only to come face to face with a grinning man. It took me a moment to realize it was Xander, the bass guitarist, and he had a drunk looking Parker tucked under his arm.

Xander tipped his head at the door behind me. “Would you like to join?”

I held up my hands and shook my head. “N-No. No, I’m—”

“No need to be so nervous,” Xander cooed with a chuckle. His grin stretched as he nodded at a giggling Parker beside him. “You can join us. We’d love to include you.”

He stepped closer, and I tried to step back only to hit the door behind me. I kept my hands in front of me as my stomach bottomed out.

“No, thank you,” I gritted out.

“Come on,” Xander sang, leaning close. “We—”

“Xander.”

The three of us whipped our heads to find Zagan walking toward us. The lead singer gave his bandmate a stiff smile. “I believe Iyla said no.”

Xander pulled back and stepped aside. I quickly moved past him and closer to Zagan.

The guitarist laughed and said, “All yours. I get it. I’ll take mine and leave then.” He opened the door to the room everyone else was in, disappearing with Parker.

I stood frozen to the spot with only the muffled moans and pop music filling my ears. My heart was still in my throat from everything that I’d just witnessed, plus Xander’s uncomfortable presence, and it rendered me a statue.

“Want some air?”

I looked up at Zagan and found his eyes locked on me. With a sigh of relief, I nodded. “Air sounds great.”

I followed him through an expansive bedroom and out onto a balcony that overlooked the trees lining the house. The cool air kissed my cheeks, and I inhaled the fresh scent, already feeling less tense.

Zagan leaned against the railing, and I leaned against the side of the house across from him. Despite the reprieve that the fresh air had just brought me, I found myself slipping into the moments before I came up here. The moments with Zagan and all the forbidden desires he aroused inside of me. He was quite literally the spitting image of what I’d always been secretly attracted to, and having his attention fixed right on me made me painfully aware of how much I wanted to give into temptation.

“Better?” he asked.

I cleared my throat and tried to stamp down my attraction to this stranger. “Yes. Thank you.” I gestured behind us. “I don’t mean to be a party pooper. That’s just not my thing.”

He raised that pierced brow of his. “Orgies?”

I felt color rise up my cheeks with the mere word alone. None of it was my thing. Parties. Orgies. Sex in general. Hell, even being alone with a guy wasn’t something I did. But if I said that, I’d probably sound like a child to someone as experienced as him, and since Zagan was the only one here to talk to right now, I didn’t want him brushing me off for being lame. So instead of clarifying, I just nodded.

He shrugged. “Group activities aren’t for everyone. Especially with those guys.” He laughed and leaned back on his tattooed hands, which rested on the railing behind him.

“So you guys really do this after all your concerts?” I asked, more than a little curious about their rumored habits. It boggled my sheltered virgin mind—the idea of hooking up that often with complete strangers.

“More or less,” he answered.

“But you’re famous,” I said slowly.

His shoulders shook as he dipped his head in a laugh. “Yeah. I suppose we are. What’s your point?”

I twirled a strand of hair around my finger. “I don’t know. If I was famous, I’d be worried that one of my hook-ups would be crazy or something and go to the tabloids with some story or rumor just to get their ten seconds of fame.”

He bounced his head side to side like he was weighing my words. “I guess one could. I don’t really worry about it, though.”

What confidence he had. That seemed like such a risk, and I was baffled that he—or any of them—would take that chance, all to get their dicks wet for a bit.

Wanting to understand, I asked disbelievingly, “Do you really think sex is that good? Enough to risk your livelihood for it?”

The smirk that tugged the corner of his pierced lip up was downright sinful, especially when he wore it while letting his eyes rake over me. “Oh, Little Sparrow,” he purred, his voice turning into a sensual chuckle. “If you don’t think sex is that good, your partner hasn’t been doing it right.”

If only you knew.

I bit my lip to hide my smile and shrugged. “I guess he hasn’t.”

Zagan pushed off the railing of the balcony and approached like a predator zeroing in on their prey. Each step that brought him closer made my heart beat faster and my toes curl in my shoes. He stopped right in front of me, placing his hands on the wall on either side of my head. I held my breath as he leaned in close with those blue eyes locked right on mine.

“Why don’t we rectify that?” he asked huskily.

The embers that had been swirling around inside me all night flared with an all new warmth. My skin prickled with the need to have his hands on me. Never had I felt so hungry for someone. The throbbing between my legs made my breath catch in my throat, and I just knew he could do something to help that.

But did I dare?

If my mom knew I was even considering doing anything with Zagan, I’d be severely reprimanded and punished, which was why I’d always stayed within the lines. Being taught my whole life that sex and desires were wrong kept me exactly in the tight, cramped box my mom wanted me in, always watching everyone else experience love and life from within it. I lived my life by her rules, and everything I did was for someone else’s sake. My schooling, my actions, my wants. Even tonight had been for Nahla’s sake, not my own.

But I wanted things, too.

Despite my mother’s efforts, deep down, I wanted to live. I wanted to kiss and touch. I wanted romance. I wanted to experience what that kind of intimacy had to offer.

I’d always obeyed.

I’d always lived my life for other people and what they wanted.

But right now, with this deliciously attractive guy staring at me, making me feel beautiful with his gaze alone, I wanted to choose me and my wants.

Just this once.

I licked my lips, my cheeks warming as I finally whispered, “Okay.”

That one word was all it took. His lips crushed mine, and my entire body shivered with a rush of euphoria. I thought his two lip piercings would make kissing hard, but the cold metal mixed with his soft lips made me feel even hotter. His large hands moved from the wall to my hips, keeping me pinned in place as he stepped into me. His body pressing into mine made me gasp against his mouth, and he took the chance to sweep his tongue along mine.

I’d stolen a peck kiss here and there senior year of high school and when I first started university. But none of them ever made me feel like this —burning with a sweet heat from the inside out, twitchy in the legs, aching between my thighs, and light like a feather caught in a breeze. His kiss was all-consuming, and I tilted my head in an effort to feel even more.

The hands on my hips moved to slip beneath the hem of my shirt, and with the ease of a pro, he pulled the garment off. Instinctively, I went to cover my bare skin, but when I saw the heat, the awe, and the desire burning in his gaze as he traced the flesh that wasn’t hidden by my black bra, I found myself enraptured. I wanted to see how much he liked what I always kept hidden, and with that sudden rush of longing, I reached behind me to unclasp the bra. His lustful eyes tracked my unhurried movements, following the article of clothing as it slid down my arms then dropped to the ground between us.

“Goddamn, you’re fucking beautiful,” he said in a rush before bending down to kiss me again.

His lips traveled from my mouth, over my chin, and down my throat. I leaned my head back against the side of the house with heavy breaths as he palmed one of my bare breasts and pulled the nipple of the other into his mouth.

A gasp burst from my lips at the onslaught of emotions that engulfed my insides. I was feeling so much right now— too much. I couldn’t even be damned about the fact that I was topless outside or the chill in the air. Everywhere he kissed and touched felt branded in the best way possible, and my head spun from the mix of lustful pleasure and excited nerves firing off inside me.

While his tongue flicked the beaded nipple on my breast, his hand left the other to coast down my stomach and into the band of my skirt. My breath hitched as his fingers slipped into my underwear and down the seam of my aching middle. An exquisite burst of pleasure swept through me as his finger curled and rubbed against my clit.

“Z-Zagan!” I gasped, unable to help myself. I’d never, ever felt something so good.

He made an approving sound in the back of his throat as his mouth once again hovered over mine. “So fucking wet. You like it when I touch you here?”

I nodded, my lips brushing against his as I did. My fingers dug into the house behind me, needing something to squeeze and hold onto as more waves of electric bliss shot through me.

He grinned. Suddenly, he dropped to his knees. He pulled his hand out from my underwear so that he could grip my skirt, tights, and panties all at once, and slowly, he pulled them down to my ankles. I quickly stepped out of the material, needing his touch back on me.

Zagan stayed on his knees as he looked up at me with hooded eyes. “Spread those legs for me, Sparrow.”

My body trembled, though whether it was from the chill of the night, nerves, or anticipation, I wasn’t sure. Regardless, I did as I was told, opening my legs wider. The cool air hit my middle, making me realize just how wet I was. The chill made everything feel overly sensitive and needy as his blue eyes locked onto my exposed pussy. He groaned at the sight before grabbing my right ankle. He hiked it up and draped my leg over his broad shoulder before leaning in.

The first touch was like a match being struck. The tip of his tongue started at the bottom of my seam then slowly drug up. My eyes immediately fell closed, and my fingers curled to dig into the wall at my back. I gasped out a flurry of sounds, shaking as his tongue flicked and rubbed at the bundle of nerves that felt starved, having gone twenty years without ever getting attention. I was hot, wet, and panting with each pass of his tongue.

“You taste so good,” he growled in a quick breath before showering my middle with more attention.

I couldn’t even make an attempt at a response. My mind was mush. My tongue was a cinder block. Every bit of my body was locked onto Zagan’s mouth, tongue, and hands as he licked and sucked on my clit or squeezed and slapped the curves of my ass. The pulsing of pleasure built deep inside of me as his tongue continued its relentless motion. The pounding euphoria between my thighs grew hotter and coiled tighter until I feared the very world around me would explode. With a guttural groan, I threw my head back and went jelly-like in the legs as I spilled myself onto his mouth.

“Fuck,” he said, licking his lips with a smile. “The sounds you make are too good. I can’t wait to hear more.”

He stood and reached behind him to yank his shirt off. My mouth watered when I saw all the tattoos decorating his chiseled body. The snake head that I’d seen on the top of his left hand with the tongue out on his middle finger went up the entire length of his arm, the tail draping over his shoulder and somewhere onto his back. His right arm had a blooming flower on the top of his hand and a network of vines and spider webs running up the length of it. The hilt of a dagger started at the base of his throat, and the blade fell between his toned pecs, impaling a flower in the center of his torso. A moth adorned one pec, and a detailed spider decorated the other. A silver bar pierced each nipple, and I found myself wondering what it would feel like if I flicked my tongue over one.

My hands itched to touch him and pull him against me again. Now that I’d experienced a taste of what pleasure was, I had to have more. I was sure that was only the tip of the iceberg as far as pleasure went, and if I was ever going to experience such a thing, I knew he’d be the master I’d want to teach me.

“I don’t want to stop,” I announced with my heart in my throat.

His blue eyes held mine, and his mouth curved into a salacious grin. “Oh, don’t you worry, baby. We’re just getting started.”