Chapter 36

Iyla

MY SEARCH WAS DESPERATE, AND I yelled Zagan’s name as I wove through tables, the bar area, the restrooms, and back through the dance floor again. I braced myself for each cut to my skin, now knowing they were coming, but that didn’t help the searing burn.

A hot, sharp invisible blade constantly cut deep into my back, and no matter how hard I fought to ignore it, the pain was greater than anything I’d ever felt. I was slowly being shredded while running through the club, and I was quickly losing my already feeble grip on the situation.

Ten hits in, and tears kept my vision too blurry to see through while my breathing got erratic enough to make my head swim.

Twenty agonizing slits in, and I stumbled around like a girl who had far exceeded her drinking limit.

Thirty cuts in, and I fell against a railing near the dance floor. Warm, sticky blood coated my back, and the pain no longer subsided between each minute. The burn was always there now, continuously draining the energy from me. I breathed hard as I tried to stand up straight, but my legs gave out before I made it to my feet. A wave of nausea hit me at the same time, and I slumped against the bars of the railing. I had to fight hard against the urge to spill the contents of my stomach all over the floor.

“Iyla?”

Hope roared to life inside me at the familiar sound of Eden’s voice. I looked up just as the golden-eyed demon got to me.

“Holy Hell!” she cried when she saw the state I was in. Worry parted her lips as she grabbed my arms and helped me to my feet. “What happened? Why—”

“Have you seen Zagan?” I interrupted her.

“Zagan? No. Why? What is happening? How—”

“I’ll explain later,” I said just as another minute lost split my back open.

Eden’s face fell in horror as she held onto me, watching helplessly until my cry of pain faded into a mere whimper.

Taking steady breaths against the onslaught of fire at my back, I gripped Eden’s arms tightly and stared straight into her eyes, imploring her to understand. “I need to find Zagan. Please! I have to find him in the next twenty-nine minutes. Help me. He’s—He’s somewhere in Hell’s Gate.”

Her eyes widened, which I didn’t think was possible with how large they already were. “Hell’s Gate? Iyla, this is just one room of Hell’s Gate. There are … hundreds of spaces just like this one, connected by doors that demons travel through. If he’s somewhere in Hell’s Gate, that means he could be … anywhere.”

I stopped breathing. I’d thought the cuts to my back had been the catch to make Babette’s game harder, but I realized now that this was the real one. I’d only ever been to this part of Hell’s Gate. I didn’t even know there were more rooms, because those “doors” weren’t visible to my human eye. I would’ve spent the full hour in this one massive club, unaware that Zagan wasn’t even in this one.

My face scrunched up in bitter fury as I turned my gaze back to the office that overlooked the club. Babette still lingered there, now holding a glass of wine. She saw me glaring, and even from here, her chuckle was obvious. If that wasn’t enough, she winked and blew me a kiss.

I threw my head back on an agonized wail as another slash joined the rest. More blood seeped out of my back and soaked into my shirt, and Eden’s eyes glossed over with tears as she held onto me.

The pain was all-consuming, and it made my vision swim. I inhaled deeply and gripped Eden with weak fingers as the room tilted and spun briefly. I worried this would be it. I’d pass out and lose the rest of my time, sentencing myself to an eternity of suffering and Zagan to a life as a sex slave. But I didn’t faint. I refused to succumb.

“Do you have a way to contact him?” I asked weakly. “You know, through demon ways?”

She seemed flustered as she stammered, “Y-Yeah. We can shadow speak.” She closed her eyes, and her voice hardened, “Zagan.”

We didn’t let go of one another as we waited, but nothing happened. I whipped my head around in search of Zagan, but I never saw a glimmer of those detailed tattoos, glint of piercings, or flicker of black-and-red eyes.

“It’s not working,” Eden announced with a helpless cry cracking her voice. “Something must be blocking him from hearing me. What in the world is happening?”

My head hung, and I braced myself for an incoming blow that was probably seconds away. “He made a bargain with Babette. I’m trying to get him back.”

Her gold eyes widened. “What a fucking moron! No wonder he can’t hear me. She probably blocked his shadow speak for everyone, except her. I bet she took his phone, too.”

Things were quickly spiraling, and my options to get a hold of him were getting dangerously thin. Still, I couldn’t give up. Not on him.

I met Eden’s stare through bleary eyes and asked, “Is there an intercom system or anything that connects this room to the others?”

Eden looked around, seemingly at a loss. Her attention landed on the stage, and she suddenly perked up with hope. “The stage is set up to broadcast the music to all the rooms.”

The stage stood at the head of the dance floor. Instruments were set up there, but no one currently played them, instead letting some mix play over the speakers. Still, renewed hope swelled to life inside me. If we could turn off the pre-recorded music, I could find a microphone and tell Zagan where I was.

Turning back to Eden, I quickly said, “Help me to the stage.”

She slung my arm around her shoulder and helped me walk through the throng of people. Three more ticks to the skin on my back slowed us down, but we finally made it to the stage. I was exhausted, on fire, nauseous, and fighting against the black spots clouding my vision. But I’d made it.

Twenty-five minutes left.

“See if you can find a microphone,” I mumbled to Eden, too weak to raise my voice more than a casual tone.

We stumbled together around the stage, but there wasn’t a mic set up. There were some drums, a single guitar, and a piano, but no microphone with any of them. Defeat tried to creep in as two more slashes cut into me during our search, but I fought against it. I couldn’t give up on him. I just couldn’t .

I wavered on my feet and leaned into Eden’s side. My eyes fluttered with the threat of closing for good. “Eden,” I groaned. “Need to sit. For a minute.”

She nodded and helped me sit at the piano bench. My head lolled as I rested my arms on the closed keylid.

Eden stood beside me, trying not to look at my blood-soaked back, and she nibbled her lip anxiously. “Maybe there’s a storage space somewhere around here with the mics.”

Maybe there was, but how long would it take to find it? In the time it took to find a microphone and set it up to blast through all the rooms, we might’ve run out of time. I only had twenty-three minutes left—maybe less with how quickly I was fading. I didn’t even have the energy to walk anymore.

I stared groggily at the piano beneath my elbows. Was I going to die here, leaning on what was nearly my dream come true? Was there nothing else I could do? I racked my foggy brain for something— anything —as I stared at the piano.

My eyes widened. With a sudden moment of clarity, I looked up at Eden. “So these instruments play all over the club? Even in the other rooms?”

“Yeah, thanks to the way Babette has the place set up. This is the main hub of Hell’s Gate, so it’s the only one with the stage. The rest are able to hear it, though.”

I braced myself as another slice broke my skin. I leaned forward, my head hanging as I breathed through the pain. The glossy surface of the keylid had my drained reflection staring back at me.

The reflection of a girl who’d changed and grown in the past few months.

The reflection of a girl who’d broken free of her cage and found herself because a demon saw her for who she really was and what she was worth.

And that demon needed me now.

Another slit marked my back. My face scrunched in pain, but I saw more than the agony in my reflection now. I saw resilience, and I saw lingering hope.

“Eden,” I breathed out. “Can you turn the music off so the piano can play over the speakers?”

She stared at me like she was trying to understand what I had planned, but she nodded and started to walk away. “Sure.”

“And,” I said, making her stop to look back at me, “when you’re done, try to find Zagan in the other rooms again. Tell him where I am in case this doesn’t work.”

She gave a final nod and darted off to complete her tasks. I’d have to thank her later, because there would be a later to talk to her. I was sure of it.

I faced the piano again, raising the keylid to expose the black-and-white keys. I couldn’t go over a speaker to tell Zagan where I was since there weren’t any mics to project my voice, and I couldn’t keep running around to find him since my legs weren’t working.

But the thing about me and Zagan … we didn’t need words. Not when we had music.

The pop song overhead nearly drowned out the sound of the piano as I practiced keys to get familiar with the song. I’d never played it, and I’d only heard it once. So while Eden worked to shut off the current music, I played around with the keys to make sure I got the notes right.

Two more cuts to my skin tried to stop me, but I held onto my determination.

Nineteen minutes left.

The music overhead suddenly stopped mid-song. Only the voices of the crowd filled the room now. With my heat soaring, I gingerly played a C on the piano. The sound flared to life, not just from the instrument on stage but through the whole room over a speaker. The crowd turned to look at me, clearly confused about the abrupt change in their party music. I gave a small, breathy laugh as true hope filtered back into me, almost making me forget the pain at my back.

Zagan , I thought with a deep breath. Please hear me .

I hovered my fingers over the keys, and I blocked out everything else. I blocked out the room of annoyed demons. I blocked out the pain coursing through my body. I blocked out the fear of failure. When that was silent, all that remained was Zagan.

My hands moved, bringing Zagan’s song to life. There were so many pieces I could’ve chosen to play, but only one would speak our secret language. Only one would get the message across to him—the song he’d written for me. It was a challenge since I’d only heard him play it in its entirety the one time today. But even with a couple of stumbles, the song was distinct. The melody was precise. The message was clear.

My love for Zagan.

It was what made all of this worth it. Chasing him to Hell in order to bring him home was the only answer for me. He’d left everything behind for me—money, a home, the means to a career. I would’ve had a comfortable life, and I’d have my sister to live it with. But a life without Zagan wasn’t one I wanted.

So I played, telling him I was here. All he had to do was come find me.

I finished the song with three new marks to remind me of the lack of time. There was still no sign of Zagan, and the crowd had seemingly thinned, maybe choosing to leave in pursuit of somewhere with different music, but some remained and watched me expectantly. With sixteen minutes left, I started all over.

I worked through Zagan’s song, pouring the same amount of emotion into it that he had. I thought of everything he’d done for me—studying with me, showing up for me, listening to me. I thought of how he looked with Gemma, the two of them gushing over dragons. I thought of the stolen glances between us, the slow kisses, and his hands on my body. I thought of how he taught me to step out of my cage and fly. I thought of the party at Bloomings and the trip to New York. I thought of the sacrifice he’d made for me.

Tears filled my eyes, and this time, it had nothing to do with the physical torment.

I cried for the future I desperately wanted for my demon.

I cried, because I’d been too afraid to admit what I felt.

I cried, because my fingers were growing weak with the fifty-seventh slash now carving into my back, bringing me closer to the end of our story.

I’d finished another play through of the song, and I nearly fell backward off the stool as blood pooled on the bench and the floor beneath it. My lips had dried, and my hands shook as dark spots webbed across my eyes. Still, I restarted the song, playing slowly. The song no longer sounded smooth, lilting, and beautiful but choppy and jumbled. Extra notes crowded the correct ones as my hands slipped or lost strength and fell onto neighboring keys.

Another cut, and I lost control of my arms. They slipped off the piano and hung limply at my sides. I fell forward, slumping against the instrument. An eruption of random notes sounded overhead as my body fell against the keys. My energy had been zapped, and no amount of fighting seemed to be bringing it back.

It was over.

“Zagan,” I whispered into the air.

Tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. My eyes slipped closed with the fifty-ninth slash, and I prepared myself for the darkness I’d soon face. I sent a silent apology to Zagan for failing him.

“Iyla!”

By some miracle, my eyes peeled open to catch sight of a wild-eyed demon leaping onto the stage and running toward me. He was shirtless with only tight black pants on. Thick metal chainless cuffs wrapped around his wrists. Horns jutting up from raven hair and black-and-red slitted eyes drew closer. Even with my life seconds away from draining from my body, I managed to crack a small smile at the dark-haired demon.

“Zagan.”

I wasn’t sure if the name left my lips or if I’d merely said it in my head. All I knew was one second I was slumped over the piano as nothing more than a limp doll, and the next, I was being pulled into familiar arms—arms that felt like home.

My head fell against his shoulder, and I breathed in the warm scent of spice and fire. “Mmm. Found you.”

The club disappeared, and my vision filled with Babette’s office. Zagan and I were on the ground, my limp body pulled into his lap. His arms tightened around me when Babette towered over us.

The glare she fixed on me could’ve frozen Hell. “This doesn’t mean love is real.”

I met her glare with one of my own. Or at least, I tried. I wasn’t sure if my face cooperated. “I won. A deal is a deal. Give me Zagan back, and make sure my sister stays healthy.”

“Deal?” Zagan snapped. His alarmed black-and-red slitted eyes looked me over. “You made a deal with Babette?”

Babette snarled. “Fine. Take your stupid bond back.” She snapped her fingers, and the cuffs squeezing Zagan’s wrists evaporated in a plume of shadows, leaving only raw red skin behind. “Now get out of my club.”

“With pleasure,” Zagan growled through gritted teeth.

With another swirling of shadows and a burst of cold air, I found myself back in the foyer of Zagan’s place near the summoning circle I’d made. As soon as we were there, Zagan looked down at me, still barely hanging onto life in his lap.

“Fuck, Iyla!”

He gently laid me on my side, facing away from him. He lifted my shirt and let out a string of curses that I was too drained to pay attention to. His fingers pressed into the shredded skin of my back, and the pain flared to life before fading. Like water soaking into a sponge, the bone-deep ache seemed to draw away from the edges of my back and crawled toward the center where Zagan’s hand rested. When the pain faded, not only was the burn gone, but energy flooded back into my system, too.

I sat up with a gasp and turned on my butt to meet Zagan’s eyes. The moment our gazes locked, all the earlier feelings of impetuosity, determination, and need crashed into me.

Tears flooded my eyes, and I climbed onto his lap to straddle him and cup his cheeks. “I found you. I found you, you big, stupid, selfless demon!”

I gripped the back of his neck and pulled his head toward mine until our lips met. His arms circled me and held me with a tightness that seemed just as desperate as my own hold. We’d both feared that moment in the ballroom would be our last together, so now, we clung to each other and kissed with all the unspoken words raging inside us.

Zagan pulled back, just as breathless as me. He gave an incredulous shake of his head, and his thumbs brushed under my eyes to clear the wetness there. “What were you thinking? Why did you go there? Why would you do that?”

I laughed at his ridiculous question and tangled my fingers in the hair at the back of his head. “Do you really need to ask? You can’t think of any reason why I would’ve chased after you and made a deal with a demon for your return?”

Understanding softened his eyes, and he gently stroked my cheek. I leaned into his touch, unable to help myself. Relief unlike any other spiraled around inside me, mingling with a warm, fuzzy lightness.

“We can’t trust Babette to actually uphold the contract that healed Gemma since she didn’t get to keep me,” Zagan said. He looked to the empty space near us and barked, “Coldin.”

I looked around the room to see if the demon was here, but I saw nothing. Facing Zagan again, I explained, “Coldin’s not here. Dante—”

Zagan held up a finger. I closed my mouth and waited like he seemed to be doing. The space he stared at was empty when a blink later, Coldin appeared, as straight-faced as ever.

Ahh. That must be shadow speak.

I grimaced, realizing how helpful that would’ve been if Babette hadn’t blocked his ability while in her possession. It didn’t matter now, though. I had my demon back.

“Coldin,” Zagan said firmly. “I need you to do something. Babette has a contract I made with her. I need you to get it and bring it back.” Zagan paused, and his eyes darkened a fraction. “Kill her while you’re there.”

My stomach dropped with the last order, but then something even more terrifying happened.

Coldin smiled .

“Fucking finally,” Coldin sneered, his features thinning and darkening.

He vanished, gone too quickly for me to see what he’d started to morph into.

I turned back to Zagan with my heart still racing over their exchange and seeing Coldin’s malicious grin. Swallowing hard, I asked, “Don’t you think killing her is too harsh?”

Zagan’s eyes thinned, and his lip curled in disdain. “Fuck no. Death is the only option for anyone who thinks they can lay their goddamn hands on you.”

A shiver traveled down my spine, and for some crazy reason, it wasn’t a bad feeling. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my own venom toward her for what she did to Zagan, or if it was because of what she had planned to do with the both of us had I failed. But hearing Zagan’s growl of possessiveness come out did something to me in places only he’d ever touched.

I trailed my fingertips lightly over his bare tattooed chest. “I’m glad you found me when you did. I nearly lost you.”

His brow plunged as something profound and tender overtook him. “I wanted to say it before …” He swallowed hard and pulled one of his lip rings into his mouth as he fought for words. Finally, he smiled and finished, “I love you, Sparrow.”

A flood of emotion hit me straight in the chest and poured over the rest of me. Zagan was freedom. His confession was air to help me soar higher. His love was my endless sky to dive, leap, and fly through.

I couldn’t get my own words out fast enough. “I love you, too, Zagan.”

His eyes widened in astonishment, like he hadn’t expected me to feel the same way. “You do?” Something akin to hurt flashed across his gaze, and his shoulders tightened. “But I’m darkness. I’m sin. I’m—”

I pressed another kiss to his mouth to silence him. He kissed me back with a sweep of his lips and pass of his tongue. When I felt his shoulders relax beneath my arms, I pulled back only enough to whisper, “Zagan. You’re Zagan , and I love who you are. The light and the dark. The kind and the twisted. The man and the demon.”

He beamed against my mouth, his lip rings brushing against me. He didn’t say anything. Instead, he kissed me hard, and I opened wide for his tongue to tangle with mine. His claws grabbed at the front of my shirt, and with a quick tug on the material, it shredded down the middle. He pulled the remnants off with one hand and my bra with the other. My flesh pebbled as the air kissed my skin, and Zagan’s mouth left mine to pay special attention to my hardened nipples.

I gasped and leaned back while holding his head to encourage what he was doing with his tongue. “Zagan!”

“I thought I’d never get the chance to have you like this again.” He bit down on my breast while pinching the nipple on the other, and my eyes rolled back in my head. He released me, and his hooded gaze locked on mine. “On your back. Now.”

My breath caught as I did as I was told, jolting slightly at the cold floor against my bare back. With a fierce tug, he yanked my leggings and underwear off. His attention devoured every inch of my naked body, making my stomach flutter. Like seeing me was a privilege. And damn, if that didn’t turn me on more.

He seemed to sense when that wave of arousal pulsed in me, landing like a hot cinder at my center. His gaze zeroed in on the spot at the same moment that strands of shadows appeared around him. They darted forward and pinned my arms and raised knees in place. I gasped when more wispy tendrils wrapped around my thighs and opened my legs wider for Zagan’s viewing.

He licked his lips, and he was slow to undo the pants he wore, which only built the fire inside of me. I wanted him. I needed him. I needed his skin on mine to prove this was real. He was truly back beside me.

“Does that pussy drip for me?” Zagan demanded in that deep, husky voice.

A cold tendril of shadow slithered up my leg. I couldn’t help but focus on it moving toward my center as I answered, “Yes. It drips for you.”

The airy, almost whisper of a sensation, covered my wet, spread lips, and I let out a breathy groan at the wild sensation. It was a touch, yet it was one so light and cool that it made me quake and squirm for something harder and more tangible.

“What a horny little sparrow,” Zagan taunted, watching me buck against the open air.

The tendril flicked up and down against my clit with a feather-light touch, and I held my breath, trying to focus all my attention on that feeling. I wanted it to touch me harder and faster, but it stayed slow and achingly soft. To make matters worse, the whisps holding me down kept me from moving against the sensation like I wanted. It was torment of the greatest kind.

Zagan, now naked in all his tattooed and pierced glory, gripped his hard cock and gave it a measured stroke to match the tentative sweep of the shadow against my core. He kept his gaze level on me as he pumped his cock, and my breathing got shallower as I watched him pleasure himself to the sight of me.

Another tendril appeared near my face. It slithered over both of my shoulders, down my breasts, and stayed there where it tickled and taunted my nipples. My mouth gaped with a cry for Zagan to really touch me, but before the words came, the same airy shadow shoved into my mouth, cutting off my words.

“What’s that?” Zagan smirked. “I can’t hear you.”

I wanted to growl at him, but the shadow filling my mouth prevented me from getting anything out. I moaned around the blockage, and my body shook with so much hunger and want as the strands swirling around and over my nipples mingled with the fluttering against my clit. A new, thicker tendril prodded at my entrance, and my eyes widened and locked on Zagan’s as the shadow plunged deep inside me.

Zagan groaned, and his face shuttered with desire as wetness gathered between my folds, so much so that I felt it drip down my seam. He continued stroking his cock, watching me come undone beneath his black-and-red gaze. The tickling whisper against my budded nipples, the flickering graze over my clit, and the faint fullness pushing in and out of me all mixed together with the delicious sight of Zagan’s veiny, tattooed hand stroking the length of his dick until all I could do was cry out around the shadow in my mouth as pleasure exploded through me.

Zagan smiled, and the shadows left me like a cloud on a passing breeze. I inhaled deeply and went limp, but it wasn’t for long. Zagan dragged two fingers up the seam of my pussy. There was no missing the sharpness of his claws, yet the biting edge just made me hungry all over again. He gathered the evidence of my climax, and stuck the clawed digits into his mouth, licking his fingers clean.

“Better than any fucking drink out there,” he purred, his fang-like canines glinting with his wide grin. “Wanna taste?”

He leaned down and kissed me deeply, letting me taste myself on his tongue, and he shoved his hard cock in me at the same time.

“Beautiful,” he praised and licked my lip before nipping it. “You’re so beautiful.”

His hips moved with expert precision, and his dick reached places inside me that drove me absolutely wild. He squeezed my breast with one hand and gripped my throat with the other while his hard length worked me toward the edge again.

“Got the contract.”

I gasped in surprise at the sound of Coldin’s voice, looking from under Zagan’s arm at the newly-arrived demon. He looked human with his green eyes and horn-free head of brown hair, but blood covered his hands, face, and clothes. There was a certain gleam in his eye that wasn’t usually there, too, but I was too preoccupied with my own demon to figure out what it was.

“Leave it on the couch,” Zagan ordered him, though he never took his eyes off me while he fucked me senseless.

I bit my lip to try to keep my sounds muted, but Zagan was relentless in how he touched me. He didn’t let up, even as Coldin crossed right next to us to drop the rolled-up parchment on the couch.

Nor did Zagan stop when Coldin looked down at us and said flatly, “Since you’re back, I’ll stay here again. You have better hiding places than Dante.”

“Sure,” Zagan answered as his tongue licked a path up my neck and onto my ear. He bit down at the same time that he thrust, and I released my lip as a moan forced its way past my lips.

Coldin seemed unfazed as he shifted, turning from man to snake in a second. When the black reptile slithered down the stairs, Zagan grabbed my chin and forced my attention back to him. “Eyes on me, Sparrow. Don’t make me punish you.”

The threat did something to me. It heated my body to the point of boiling, and with only a few more deep thrusts inside me, I came hard.

“I love it when you cum for me,” Zagan announced. “Almost as much as I love you.”

I smiled and held onto him tightly, soaking in the sight of his expression when he spilled himself inside me. It was fierce, it was passionate, and it was hot . “Right back at you.”

He hovered above me and continued to stare down at me. Neither of us moved, despite reaching our peaks and finishing. Instead, we kept the other locked in our arms, and I wasn’t sure when we’d be ready to let the other go. Probably never.

“I never thanked you,” I whispered, trailing my nails gently up and down his back. “You know, for what you did. I hate the deal you made because of what it cost you, but I … I just can’t thank you enough for doing that.” Emotion climbed my throat, and I had to swallow it down before I could finish, “Thank you for saving my sister.”

He leaned down to press his forehead to mine. “I told you I would, Sparrow. I don’t care what it is or what the risks are. I’ll give you anything, do anything, to make sure you’re happy.”

“Being with you. That’s what makes me happy. So don’t leave me like that again. Deal?”

He pulled back to look down at me, and he cocked his head as a teasing grin lit up his face. “You trying to make a deal with a demon, Iyla?”

I laughed. “Only if that demon is you.”

He kissed me, the caress slow and sweet. “Always me.”