Chapter 19

Iyla

“MOM,” I GASPED WITH NAILS suddenly filling my throat.

Her hazel eyes bounced from Zagan to me. “What’s the meaning of this? Who is he?”

With alarm quickly flooding my system, I turned to Zagan and whispered, “Can you go wait by the car, please?”

His blue eyes tightened slightly at the edges. He glanced at Mom, who still stood frozen by her car, then back at me. “Sure.”

As he walked toward my car, I approached her with caution. My heart thundered, and the world swam a little as nerves shot through me at blinding speed. I was a fly caught in a spider’s web—stuck with no way of escape.

“Iyla Marie,” Mom snapped. “Who the hell is that man?”

I nearly tripped as I came to a stop in front of her. She never cursed. That was my first warning sign that the carefully crafted bridge between us was crumbling, and I wasn’t sure if there was anything I could do to stop it.

“His name is Zagan,” I answered. My voice came out small like I’d reverted back into the child she used to reprimand at the drop of a hat. “He’s my friend.”

“Friend?” She scoffed and shook her head. “Iyla, I’ve prosecuted criminals that look like that man.”

My body went rigid, and my skin crawled at the comparison. The tattoos. The piercings. The disheveled waves of black hair on top of his head. Black clothes. She saw these things and immediately judged him off it. She saw his self-expression as some sort of admission of unlawfulness.

And that lit an unexpected fire inside of me.

I was used to her jabs at me. I was used to her breaking me down and smothering my self-expression. But she had no right to judge him.

“He’s not a criminal, Mom,” I argued with strength pouring into my words. “He’s actually a singer in a band, and—”

She rolled her eyes and cut me off. “So he’s some poor junkie who takes handouts on the street for a meal? I raised you better than this. How dare you act out like this? How dare you bring that kind of trash here, around these impressionable youth, around your sister ? Have you lost your mind?”

My annoyance spiked as a burning desire to defend Zagan washed over me. “He’s been amazing to Gemma and all the patients here. He even went out of his way and brought food for everyone today.”

Her nostrils flared, and her voice rose. “You are awfully defendant of him. Friends? I wasn’t born yesterday, Iyla. You’re not friends. You’re his slut .”

The word was like a slap to the face. Shame, hurt, and guilt followed the sting, rendering me speechless and frozen.

“I have been so good to you your entire life,” she plowed on. “I’ve given you everything there was to give, and all I asked for in return was for you to follow my very simple, easy rules. But you couldn’t do that, could you? You had to leap at the chance to open your legs for some damn thug .”

“Stop it,” I begged as emotion clogged my throat. My pulse pounded in my ears to the point where I wasn’t even sure if my words were coming out loud enough for her to hear them. “Zagan is a great guy.”

Her lip curled in disdain, and she crossed her arms. “Stop seeing him.”

My lip trembled as I stared directly into her eyes. For the first time in my life, I squared my shoulders and said the one thing I’d always been too afraid to. “No.”

Her eyes widened, and she reared back like I’d hit her. She’d expected me to lay down, give in, and continue being the obedient daughter I’d always been. But this was something I couldn’t do. Zagan and I were bonded for life with no way out except death. He was always going to be there, no matter what Mom said. He was also proving to be the greatest sign of hope we’d had for Gemma, and I’d never jeopardize that. Today was proof that our plan was working, which meant we couldn’t stop now.

Even more than that though, I liked having the demon in my life. Somewhere along the journey of sex and healing, I’d come to enjoy him and his presence. There was a certain confidence he gave me, and when I was with him, air came easier. Laughter came easier. The worries of the world fell away for a bit, and life felt fun, something it never had been before. Our friendship had carved space for itself in my heart, and I refused to sand it down.

Mom dropped her arms back to her sides and stepped closer to me, the vision of a stormcloud closing in. “Last chance, Iyla. Stop. Seeing. Him.”

“I. Won’t,” I said through clenched teeth.

Mom flashed me a sinister grin, and the sight made nausea roll through me. The look could only mean one thing—the bridge had finally collapsed.

“Then consider yourself disowned,” Mom said. “Your allowance, your bills, your apartment, your schooling, everything . It all stops here.”

I felt the color drain from my face, and the ground seemed to shift beneath my feet as I rocked slightly. “Mom—”

“I’ll give you the afternoon to get your things— yours , not the things my money bought—out of the apartment. You’re on your own. Find somewhere new to stay. Since you’ve decided to whore around, I’m sure you can find plenty of men to pay for what you need. It doesn’t concern me anymore. I warned you, Iyla. Actions have consequences. You’ll have to live with yours.”

My blood pumped hard, and my chest hurt from the marathon my heart ran. The shock and horror coursing through me quickly morphed into something sharp, hot, and bitter as I stared at my mom—the woman who was supposed to love me unconditionally, the woman who was supposed to always protect me, the woman who was supposed to support me in my attempt at life.

“Right,” I said tightly, not bothering to contain the rage in my voice anymore. “I have to live with my consequences. Just like you. Right, Mom? Just like how I was the consequence for your actions. So now you do everything you can to punish me for your mistake.”

The slap across my cheek came so fast, I didn’t even have time to see her hand move. The loud crack of her palm against my face echoed in my ears, and lightning erupted behind my eyelids as searing pain flooded my cheek.

I reached up to grip my face just as my mom gasped and screeched, “Let go of me, you heathen!”

Tears swam in my eyes as I looked up to find Zagan standing between my mom and I. One hand stretched out to block me behind him while the other gripped Mom’s still raised arm. His knuckles were white from how hard he gripped her wrist, and a cry brushed past her lips.

“Don’t you ever lay your fucking hands on her,” Zagan warned, his voice dangerously low.

Mom’s chest fell rapidly as her frantic eyes stared up at Zagan. “This is assault! I’m a powerful prosecutor. I will have your ass in jail before you can even blink!”

Zagan’s low chuckle seemed to echo in the space between the three of us like some dark melody plucked right from a nightmare. “Oh, please try. Do your worst, Valerie. I promise you that whatever you try to do to me won’t be near as bad as what I’ll do to you when I drag your fucking soul to the deepest pits of Hell.”

Her face blanched, and her eyes darted between the two of us. “He’s mad! You’re both lunatics! I’m so ashamed of you, Iyla. To think this is the company you keep.”

Ashamed.

The word pierced my heart, striking harder than any other insult she’d ever thrown at me. All I’d ever wanted was to make her proud, to have her smile at me with love and acceptance. That wish fizzled out like a match finally losing fuel and burning away into nothing but smoke.

She yelped as Zagan yanked on her, and he smiled wide like a crazed predator about to get his meal. “Didn’t you know? Demons make great company.” He got nose to nose with her. His smile fell, and he hissed, “Until you piss us the fuck off.”

His fingernails sharpened and turned black while his horns appeared in his hair. I gasped and grabbed onto his arm, which still pressed into the front of my body to shield me from my mom. I clung to him and shouted at him to stop, but it was too late. His human guise was gone, and my mother’s mouth gaped open as she stared at him in horror. Her legs wobbled, and her eyes rolled back into her head as she sagged. Zagan released her arm to let her limp body crumble to the asphalt, and he sneered down at her unconscious body.

“Zagan,” I cried in a panic. I tightened my grip on his arm and whipped my head around us, frantically looking for any people who might be around. “Please change back. Someone else is going to see you!”

He inhaled deeply through his nose like he was wound up tight and trying hard to calm down. Finally, his black-and-red eyes, nails, and horns disappeared. His attention never left my mom. “Tell me why I shouldn’t kill her right here, right now. Because the only thing stopping me at the moment is the fact that you’re standing here and would have to watch.”

I swallowed hard. His words were more of a reminder of what he was than his actual demonic form. He could easily steal her life and banish her to Hell. For a moment, I actually considered letting him. But I knew that was anger and hurt talking. I couldn’t let my mom meet a fate like that, especially not by Zagan. I didn’t want to think of Mom’s death when I looked at him.

“Zagan, you’re already going to be in deep shit since she’s seen you and you threatened her. We don’t need to add murder to the list right now.”

“Deep shit, my ass. She won’t do anything.”

He curled his lip at her limp body and crouched. He slapped her face a few times—harder than necessary, but I wasn’t about to argue with a fuming demon—until her eyes fluttered open. As soon as she looked up at him, she went to scream, but he quickly shot his hand out to squeeze her cheeks in his grip, squishing her cheeks together and forcing her mouth closed.

“Shut up,” Zagan barked. “You’ve seen me, so now you know to fucking behave. You won’t do shit to me, because nothing you do can touch me. Nothing you do can touch Iyla . You want her gone and ties cut? Fine. I’ve been waiting for that to happen. But don’t think for one second that you’ve won. Look who’s standing,” Zagan said, tipping his head in my direction. “And look who’s folded on the ground, pissing themselves.”

I noticed then the gray material of her pants darkening with urine around her thighs. Some twisted part of me took satisfaction in seeing her rendered to that state.

“You think you’ve gained some sort of power over Iyla by cutting her off?” Zagan barreled on, his voice eerily calm. “Wrong. Iyla doesn’t need you. So keep your damn money, apartment, and control. Because she’s the one that’s done with you .”

He tossed her head to the side as he released her face, and already, bruises formed where he’d gripped her. His large body towered over her trembling form as he added, “And in case it wasn’t obvious, you’re going to keep what happened here and what you saw a secret. That threat criminal enough for you?”

Zagan slipped his hand in mine and pulled me along with him toward my car. I started to glance over my shoulder, but without even looking at me, Zagan warned, “Don’t you dare look back at her.”

My gaze trained on the asphalt as I heeded his words. I could practically feel the rage pouring off him in waves, yet I couldn’t find it in myself to be afraid of him. If anything, I leaned further into his arm, feeling safer than I had in a long time.

He led me to the passenger seat, and for the first time, he slid into the driver’s seat of my car. His grip on the wheel made me worry for the wheel’s safety. I half expected it to melt at his touch or break in half. But I didn’t say anything, not even when he gunned it out of the parking lot.

At some point, I’d gone numb inside, though I could still feel the biting sting of my mom’s hand against my cheek. My head leaned limply against the window as trees sped by at the same blinding speed my heart still went.

Mom really wanted to get rid of me.

It hit me how fragile my relationship had truly been with her. All this time, I’d given one-hundred percent to her in all I did. She’d been watching me fight and claw and struggle to keep up with the furious effort, waiting until that one-hundred slipped even a fraction. If I wasn’t giving it my all anymore, she’d finally have her excuse to get rid of me like she’d always wanted to do.

A tear finally slid down my cheek.

Always .