Chapter 19

A s expected, Tamika doesn't take my nocturnal activities very well. It's still somewhat tense between us when we arrive at work. She can't understand why I'm not taking Oli seriously, to the point where I slept with someone else. Since I can't tell her about my overwhelming attraction to our boss, we're at an impasse. All she knows is that it was a one-night stand.

One I'm seconds away from seeing again.

A massive lump clogs my throat as I stand before the door, and swallowing it away does nothing. "Everything will be fine," I whisper to myself.

We're adults who shared a night of passion and lust, and now we'll move on. Shit, this is so fucking awkward.

The sooner I'm done with it, the better, so I knock twice and open the door. I spot Lex instantly, standing in the middle of the room, along with Kevin. They stop talking as soon as I enter, and Lex's eyes immediately find mine. I barely notice his dark mood and irked glare, prone to a surge of unwanted memories and feelings. I hold his gaze for a moment, feeling my face and body heat up under his intensity.

Flashes and images of last night flood my brain. His grunts of pleasure, the touch of his strong hands over my skin, the deep and rough ramming of his dick in me, the warmth of his tongue, the filthy words it uttered in the throes of passion…

Tell me, Andrea… Tell me how much that tight little pussy of yours wanted my cock.

Fuck, I can't do this .

He knows too much about me. My taste, my naked body, the sounds I make when I come, that I've masturbated with him in mind, that I get so fucking wet for him… Fuck, I also know way too much.

Two seconds in, and sensual hunger is already overtaking me. Before Kevin can grow suspicious, I force a smile on my face.

"Hi, boss," I tell Kev on my way to the desk. Lex gets a small "Hello" from me before I sit down. The ache in my overworked core has me wincing.

"You were the one who wanted the slot. And now you're telling me you won't be coming?" Lex says with irritation, resuming their talk.

"It's a great marketing opportunity, and you know it," Kevin replies patiently. Okay, so this is about the upcoming convention.

"You were responsible for it. It was your idea to present whatever my team would come up with."

"And now I'm telling you I can't come. Just get over it." Kevin is now growing annoyed as well. "Michelle could have the baby any day, and I won't be eight hundred miles away when it happens."

"So, what? We cancel the slot you booked?"

"No. Absolutely not. The brochures and flyers with our names have already been sent out. You can do the presentation with whoever you want from your team."

There's a moment of silence, and I remember I'm not supposed to listen so avidly. I open a random script to pretend I'm working.

"You know perfectly well I'm not doing this," Lex resentfully answers.

"Well, then your guys will have to manage on their own. Who were you thinking of?"

"Brian and Steven, for the braille phone case. The prototype works perfectly, and the app is polished and ready to be shown."

Oh, that's my favorite one from Kelex. They developed a case designed for low vision and blind users, with an embossed front and a back that modulates to display braille. It's Steven and Brian's pride and joy, and I can understand why.

Since there's a deafening silence all of a sudden, I click and scroll randomly to give the illusion that I'm actually doing something.

"Andy, how long until your app is ready?" Kevin asks.

At the mention of my name, I let go of my mouse and slowly spin my chair around. They are both focused on me, and I strategically avoid looking at Lex.

"Uh… The alpha version is on schedule for Thanksgiving, as intended. But we have three to four weeks of work on it before we can even co nsider showing it around," I explain. Lex nods in confirmation, agreeing with my prognostics.

"What's the biggest task you guys have to work on to make it presentable?" Kevin insists.

"We're trying to improve the hand recognition algorithm to get rid of the nail polish. As long as the app needs flashy nails to work, it can't be taken seriously. Oh, and we're still waiting on NAD's data. We're currently using something Oli got for me, so it's not entirely legal. But they agreed to send us the files anyway, so it's technically fine. We just don't know when we'll officially get them."

"Can it be done in the ten days we have before the convention?"

I'm tempted to look at Lex to see what he thinks of this. Ten days is tricky but possible. "Hypothetically, it could be done," I venture. "But we're looking at some serious overtime and more coders working on it."

"Lex, do you think you and your team can make it?"

"Facial and voice recognition took decades to reach where it's at now, and that was just the face. We're talking about ten digits, two palms, wrists, upper body position, and a face. Mannerisms can also be as potent of an issue as an accent. The multiple ways the same sentence can be expressed also makes it all complicated."

"Ok, bear with me here, guys. I'm not asking for the app to be finished and polished. I'm asking if it can be good enough for a demonstration. There will be investors there, people who matter. This could be a springboard for Kelex to become international."

"Kev, the only thing I can tell you right now is we'll try and do our best to make it work," Lex proposes. "But it's safer to keep the braille tool in mind. We can't ridicule ourselves with an unfinished product."

Kevin's reasonable enough to recognize that Lex is right. Sourly, the man nods. "Andy, I know you've already worked a lot for this, but would you be willing to do extra hours?"

"I… guess? But I can't promise it'll be ready."

"That's alright. If it's ready by then, it's great. If not, it'll boost the project," he suggests. As I nod, I'm already trying to organize all this, determine the priorities, what can be left out… "Lex, are you fine with working overtime too?" Kevin then asks.

I can't help it. My eyes go straight to Lex, eager to know his reaction. As compelled as I am, his gaze finds mine, and we stare at each other for a moment. Overtime means we'll be the only ones in the building every evening. It means we'll have even more hours together.

This is terrible. I can't spend so much time with Lex alone in his office. I can't handle my cravings during the daytime, and it certainly won't be better at night or on weekends .

I can't be trusted near him, knowing I'll fantasize about being bent over the desk and fucked. He could also lift me against a wall or a window, hoist me up on the furniture, ravish me on the floor… Damn, I'm so hooked that even the uncomfortable couch seems like a good spot for some slex .

He catches up with my chain of thoughts, his eyes darkening. His jaw clenches before he turns to Kevin.

"It's nothing I haven't done before," he answers.

When his attention returns to me, I don't know how to interpret the dangerous promises I discern on his face. The abundant hunger with which he demanded more of me last night isn't debatable. He enjoyed fucking me so much that he got hard again mere minutes after blowing his load. Twice.

At the memory of last night, my skin warms up and my cheeks flush. I avert my eyes when I remember we aren't alone in the room.

Thankfully, Kevin isn't paying attention to me. His eyes are locked on his friend, his brows slightly frowned. "Lex, can I see you in my office?" he asks bluntly.

Alexander looks away from me. "Sure." They exit the room without another word, leaving me alone with my paranoia.

We're so busted. It lasted barely ten minutes before boss number two realized I fucked boss number one. Maybe now is a good time to go herd those llamas in Peru.

Focusing on work is hard, especially since Lex can return any second. I'll have to face him alone and pretend like he didn't tongue-fuck and dick-fuck me. I'm distractedly reading the same line for the tenth time when someone knocks. For a brief moment, I freeze, worried the time has come. But Lex doesn't knock, so my shoulders relax.

"Come in."

To my surprise, it's Aditya, our IT guy. I met him a few times, as he likes hanging out with the guys in the Lair. He's shy, especially with women, but we've spoken once or twice.

"Hi, Adi," I greet him with a smile. "What brings you up here?"

"Good morning, Andy. I got an email from Alexander saying I have to move your computer back downstairs."

My heart sinks down to my stomach. So, that's it? Lex got what he wanted, and now he's getting rid of me? I never expected much from him, but maybe a little more consideration. I feel so… used.

Fuck the man. Seriously.

" D id you sleep with Andrea?"

Irritated, I look around at my business partner's office. It's nearly the same as mine but with more colors and wooden furniture.

"I won't let this go, Lex, so answer me."

I meet his inquisitive eyes with unmasked annoyance. "Mind your own business, Kevin."

"That's exactly what I'm doing. Minding my own business; the one we built together. Did something happen with her?"

We stare at one another for several seconds before I cave in. "Yes."

His grin isn't what I expected. I'm still confused when he wraps his arms around me. "Mazel Tov, Lexi."

I push him away, disliking the intrusion in my personal space and life—which he knows I hate.

"It was a one-time thing, so cool down."

"Oh, really? I thought it w—"

"You thought nothing. It happened, it's done, it's over. Period. Now, if you'll excuse me, you just unloaded a shit ton of work and responsibilities on us, so I have to get to work."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you need to tell yourself."

I glare at him, unamused by his teasing. "Don't tell your wife."

He snorts, and I know he'll text Michelle as soon as I'm out. "She's been asking if it finally happened every day since our dinner with Andrea. Of course I'm telling her."

I roll my eyes. Were Andrea and I really that blind? How did Shelly and Kev know something was bound to happen when we didn't? Ruminating on that, I return to my office.

With the night I had, I should be relaxed and amiable. That's one of the perks of sex—especially great sex. But waking up and finding her gone left a sour taste in my mouth. The sheets still smelled of her, a heady scent of sweat and jasmine, and being unable to have her again brought all the frustrating needs back. I quickly realized that one night wouldn't be enough to satiate my hunger for her, but I at least hoped I would have a few days of respite.

Everything's even worse now.

"Alexander," someone calls behind me. I turn around, finding Beatrix from accounting hurriedly walking up to me .

"Yes?"

"I'm booking the plane tickets for HWC," she explains. "And I was wondering if you have a preference for who should sit next to you."

I think about it briefly, but I'm afraid there's only one logical answer. If we pull this off and get the app ready on time, I should be seated next to Andrea so we can work on the presentation during the flight. Reluctantly, I answer, "Sit me next to Andrea."

After a nod, Beatrix is off again. When I reenter my office, I spot Aditya and am reminded of the email I sent him earlier. Fuck, having her back downstairs isn't an option anymore. I'll have to endure having her here with me.

"I'm afraid I've wasted your time, Aditya. Things have just changed, so Andrea will remain here for now."

"Alright, no problem." Adi shrugs before leaving us.

I don't spare her a glance as I sit on my chair and start working. A few minutes pass until annoyance makes me ask, "Alright. I can tell you're angry from the way you bash in each key. What is it?"

Her hammering fingers stop, and she answers, "You wanted to move me back downstairs."

By leaving in the middle of the night, she made her desire for distance very clear. So what is this about? I look over our screens, confused by her temper.

"Is it your Stockholm syndrome talking? Are you enjoying being ‘kept hostage' up here?"

She looks embarrassed, as though she forgot what she said yesterday. I continue, petty, "I didn't realize being up here was such a traumatic experience for you, so yes, I messaged Aditya."

I get up from my chair and walk around the desk to stand next to her. She looks spellbound as I bend closer to her, my face inches from hers. "It's only for a couple of weeks, and since we took care of your little problem last night, things should be fine until then, right?"

Although I shouldn't, I hope she says it wasn't enough and she needs more—like me. When she opens her mouth to answer, I'm tempted to travel the three inches separating us to claim it. But I hold back, and she swallows her nervousness away.

Eventually, she nods and says, "Yes, of course."

Something twinges in my chest, my hopes to get more of her crushed. But it's better like this. Better for both of us.

M y "little problem" is nowhere near fixed. I'm in deep shit.

Things were never smooth between Lex and me, but we've reached a new low. If it wasn't for the ache lingering between my legs, I might believe I imagined last night.

I'm so reluctant to talk to him that I stay stuck for an hour on a glitch I can't fix. But the stakes are too high now, so I swallow back my pride and ask. When the problem eludes him, too, I feel less stupid. After a few unsuccessful minutes, he gets his chair to sit beside me. And that's enough to hijack my brain.

Those damn glasses. I can't get over how sexy and intelligent he looks.

Ten days until the convention. Ten fucking days.

I'll never make it.

His scent surrounds me, and the smell of his skin is intoxicating. Every time he types something, I glimpse at his powerful hands, remembering those thick fingers inside me. Behind his glasses, his eyes are focused on the lines of commands. He looked at me with matching intensity when he extracted shameful confessions out of me, taunting me with an incoming orgasm.

It's hard to keep in mind that we're at work when twelve hours ago we were naked and panting, blissfully enjoying each other's bodies.

We end up working side by side for most of the morning. Undeniably, the combined power of our brains makes things incredibly fast. We're still elbow-deep into it when lunchtime arrives, and while I normally would stay until we get it fixed, I practically jump to my feet. "Sorry, I'm starving," I lie. "I'll be back after the break."

His answer is a mere nod, but I don't care. I need to be anywhere but right by his side.

Just as I exit our shared office, my phone vibrates in my pocket. When I look, I see it's Kate. Was she waiting for my break to call?

"So, how was it?!" she practically shouts into my ear when I pick up.

"Hello to you too, blondie."

"Andy, tell me!"

"It was amazing," I comply with a sigh. "I've never experienced anything like it before."

"Ah! I knew the man was a sex god! How big is his junk?" I can't help but look around, worried someone could be witnessing this.

"Kate! What the hell kind of question is that!? "

"Girl, I need to vicariously live my sex life through yours. Give me the deets, or I'll date the first asshole I come across."

While we often have these sex talks, they are usually the other way around. Kate loves entertaining me with her exploits, and I listen out of genuine interest and curiosity. I'm not as comfortable as she is with all this, though, so returning the favor is hard.

"So? How's Lex Junior?" she insists, unwilling to let go.

"Well, ‘junior' isn't the word I'd use for it."

"Meaning?"

I roll my eyes, both annoyed and amused. "Meaning he's Brazzers-sized."

"Oh, my… You lucky bitch. Did he give it to you this morning, too?"

"No."

"Oh? Did you give it to him, then?"

"I wasn't there in the morning," I explain, ignoring the twinge of remorse that hits me.

"Oh, no. Don't tell me you left in the middle of the night!"

"Of course I did. You're the one who told me about one-night stand etiquette."

"Babe, no! A one-night stand is someone you picked up at a bar and will never see again. Sleeping with your hot-as-fuck boss is more than that."

I frown, not getting the nuance. What I did wasn't offensive or wrong. I slept with him and left, which was our agreement. I'm pretty confident he would have done the same had things unfolded at my place.

Since I'm not answering, Kate becomes more inquisitive. "Was he okay with you leaving?"

"We didn't exactly talk about it," I sarcastically answer.

"Have you seen him this morning? How are things between you two?"

Something's off, but it isn't because I left, right? Things are just understandably weird. The man sucked on my clit, so how are we supposed to pretend nothing happened?

I don't want to dwell on it and get more of her intrusive questions. "Kate, I have to go."

She sighs, clearly disapproving. "I know it's all new to you, and you like Oliver. But please remember that Alexander is also his own person. Try not to hurt him."

A graceless snort escapes me. I highly doubt I can hurt the man. He's way more experienced than I am, and surely I'm far from being the first casual sex he's had. Nevertheless, I reassure Kate before we hang up.

As soon as I enter the break room downstairs and spot Oliver, I curse my goldfish memory. He's with the other nerds, and he sees me right away.

We exchange an awkward wave before I get my Tupperware from the fridge. Because of whatever text Tami sent him, he knows I spent the night with someone. But I told him I'd come back to him once I was ready, so it makes it all so weird. Will he think I'm whoring out before settling down with him?

Because I can't keep staring at the yogurts and meal boxes like this, I grab my Pad Thai and straighten up. I jump at the sight of Oli right on the other side of the fridge door. "Hi," he greets with a forced grin.

"Hi." My smile probably looks as fake as his.

He follows me to the microwave and says, "I'm glad you're fine. Tami seemed very worried yesterday."

"Yeah, I messed up. I should have warned her." I shove my opened box in the microwave, which smells like fish once more. Dammit, people. Stop with the weird dishes already.

"You know, you shouldn't microwave your things in plastic. It's carcinogenic."

I stare at him with a blank expression. Small talk won't make this any less weird. "Look, Oli, I—"

"It's fine. You don't have to justify yourself," he cuts me off. He stops and passes his hand on the back of his head to distractedly scratch it, looking at the floor. "I won't pretend I'm not a little hurt. I really like you, but it's your life and your choices. I keep thinking about our date, and I can't help but regret not going upstairs with you. And I feel like shit for it because I know you told me how overwhelmed you are and all."

I'm tongue-tied when he meets my eyes again, unsure what to say or do. Like him, I wish we could go from great friends to great lovers, but things aren't that simple.

"I never wanted to hurt you," I say, hoping it can ease his bruised emotions.

"I know. I'm not blaming you; just trying to make peace with it. It doesn't matter what you do now, as long as you're over it when we happen," he explains, his hands tucked in his front pockets. I nod, my brows twisted with unease.

I'm such a selfish asshole.

My food rings behind me, so I take it out rapidly. With my cancer-infused meal in hand, I wonder how the hell I can make this situation better .

"I can't promise I'll ever be ready. I like you, Oli, I really do. But I can't be sure I'll ever like you like that ," I say with my free hand on his shoulder, trying to be as gentle as possible.

Oli processes my words for a moment, his expression slightly confused and worried. "I get it, don't worry. I can handle that sort of thing."

I can almost believe him, but his eyes look so sad.

With a heavy heart, I give him a small smile and go sit with Dakota, Tami, and a few others. I eat in silence, my mind preoccupied. Something tells me I'll never desire Oliver like I desire Lex.

I've never come even close to what the latter makes me feel.