2. Millie

2

MILLIE

The full moon illuminates the sky as I open the curtains further with my trembling fingers. I check all of my neighbor's homes. All lights are off.

Could it have been my neighbor? Did I make a mistake? Or did this man follow me from work? Am I seeing things?

I shudder at that thought and tuck it far back into my head.

Cooper lets out a huff from his nose and walks away from the window. He's satisfied with himself and curls beside my bed on the floor. I stay at the window, making sure that the man is gone. I bite my lip, feeling my heart still erratically pulsing hard.

I contemplate what I should do next. Should I wake my dad and tell him? I shake my head. I don't want to worry him.

I stand there for a while, watching the front of my house to ensure he doesn't come back. I close the curtains and double-check that my windows are locked. Pulling up and down, it doesn't sway. So far, so good.

Cooper is very protective of me. If anyone entered our house, he wouldn't hesitate to attack. He's become my new best friend.

Ever since I moved in with my dad late in high school, things have changed for the better. It was strange at first—it felt like I was moving in with a stranger instead of my father—but now I feel safe with him.

I check my computer for any missed IMs. I see that I have one from my supervisor, Cole. I guess he's not just my supervisor, but it's easier to pretend that he is sometimes so I don't have to confront my feelings and reflect on our complicated relationship.

Wonderwall83: Have a good night. Sweet dreams, beautiful.

After I finish reading his message, I smile. I reply with a simple goodnight, change my status to ‘away,' and shut my computer off.

Cole and I have been on a few dates. He wants to further our friendship, but I don't feel the same way. I see him more as a friend that I can laugh with and talk to about anything in the world, and we just get each other...but I don't want to take it any further. I like him, too, but I'm unsure about becoming something more. Cole understands how I feel and doesn't push it, but he wants me to know that he'll always be here for me.

I get out of my work clothes, put them in my hamper, and change into my pajamas. It feels so good to lay in bed after a long work shift finally. My feet are sore and throbbing. I reach for my right foot and start to massage it. I call Cooper onto my bed by patting my hand three times at the edge, and he joins me immediately. He snuggles at the corner, facing the window like he's still on high alert.

Two loud knocks thud against my door, and I yelp.

"What's going on? Did you call for me?"

Dad .

"Dad! You scared me. I-I did call you like ten minutes ago!" I exaggerate.

"Todo bien, hija ? Can I come in?" He twists the knob but doesn't enter.

"Yes, come in."

He opens the door and pokes his head through. His dark hair is peppered with grey strands, and his dark brown wary eyes are pinned on me before they dart everywhere else in the room like he's checking if I snuck any boyfriends in behind his back.

"Everything is fine, Dad. I just…I guess I watch and read too many scary movies and thriller books. That's all. I'm good. I thought I saw something outside, but it's all good now." I scoff out a laugh and bring the blankets up to my chin as I try to find a comfortable spot.

He places his hands on his hips and leans forward like his lower back hurts. He walks to the curtains and watches the empty street for about thirty seconds before he turns to me.

I know my dad. His silence means he's trying to get something out. He's holding something in by the way he looks side to side, avoiding my gaze.

"Spit it out," I sing-song.

He chuckles with no humor attached to his tone.

"You know…I'll never stop apologizing for leaving you and your brother." He grips the edge of my bed and finally meets my eyes. I inherited the same brown eyes and dark hair from him.

"Dad…"

"I mean it. I was a teenager when I had Nash, and then you came along at a time when I was already drowning. Drowning in my own demons. My financial problems and instability. Your mother and I were best friends who were never supposed to get married. But that doesn't mean I regret having you guys. I hope you can understand and differentiate those two things."

I give him a soft smile as he leans on my bedframe.

"I do, dad. I know you're sorry. I can feel it in the way you always make sure I get home safe or when you try to invite me on those fishing trips to Lake Rockington. Even in the way you look at me, I can feel the guilt that haunts you. I'm just grateful I still have you and that you're trying . Trying means everything to Nash and me . We acknowledge you're making an effort to right your wrongs and doing things to better our relationship between my brother and me. It won't erase the trauma we endured, but…it's a step I will never take for granted."

He swallows my words. I have no idea how I was able to say those things without breaking, but I'm glad I did. The pain and memories of growing up, having fights with my mother, or when I wished my parents would come together and give each other a second chance…all hit me briefly. It stabs me in the chest as we hold each other with our silence.

He feels the weight of his actions and the consequences of not being a parent to us when we needed him badly.

"I won't let you punish yourself forever, Dad. We have a fresh start, so let's not move backward, okay?" I tell him, trying to lighten the mood.

He gives me a nod, with relief glimmering in his tired eyes. He walks away from me and closes the door. I stay staring at the door a little longer before a wave of exhaustion hits every nerve in my body. I get comfortable in bed, forgetting about the strange man on the street, and think about my parents as teenagers, laughing and holding each other. Something I always dreamed of witnessing as a child but never got. Now, as an adult, it doesn't give me the same feeling. It's weird to think of them that way together. I fall asleep in the hope that one day, I'll find a relationship that teaches me all the things my parents could not. With someone or alone, I'm determined to find something unconditional.

"I swear I saw that same blonde guy at our shop last night outside my window. It was weird and scary." I take a sip of my water bottle and watch Leah's reaction. I told her what had happened when I went home.

We sit across from each other, eating lunch in the break room. It's small but fits about five people, with a mid-sized table and a light green room decorated with 1980s horror movie posters on the walls.

Leah's eyes widen. "Dude, are you serious? Did you call the police?" She asks, looking down at her salad. She pokes at the avocado and chicken before eating it.

"What were they going to do? He ended up leaving so quickly anyway; in a blink of an eye, he disappeared. I think my dog scared him off." I grab a piece of leftover barbecue my dad made me. He turned the brisket into a sandwich.

"Damn. You didn't even give him my number? What kind of wing woman are you?" Leah giggles.

I roll my eyes.

"So you have a thing for creepy stalker guys?" I tease.

"No!" she bites out, but then she ponders and looks away, ashamed. "I mean, in the book world or movie world, maybe . Maybe I kind of like the idea of someone being obsessed with me…what about you?"

I stop chewing and actually think about it.

Huh .

I open my mouth, but Cole cuts in and opens the door to the breakroom loudly.

"If he comes back to the shop, we will refuse service," Cole says as he walks into the break room and sits down next to me. He kisses me on the cheek as he settles in, making me smile.

Cole is everything I could ever want in a boyfriend, but we're just friends. He's handsome, sweet, caring, protective, and intelligent. He's currently in medical school studying to be a surgeon when he's not bossing us around as our supervisor. He plans to work only for a few more months before starting his residency.

"You can't do that. He hasn't done anything." I knock his shoulder with mine playfully.

He's being overprotective.

"I'm sure he won't come back. I'll call the police if he does," Cole says as he takes a bite of his chicken wrap. Leah stands up and leaves the room, forcing me to be alone with him. She knows Cole wants to be more than friends, and she's rooting for him.

I take the last bite of my sandwich, then turn to my left and catch Cole watching me like he always does. The way he's looking at me is the same way he did that one day on Thanksgiving.

A Thanksgiving neither of us will forget.

I clear my throat, breaking our intense exchange because the memories are hitting both of us hard. I stand up, throw my trash away, and clock back in.

My shift goes by so fast, and I feel so tired again. I feel sick but not ill at the same time. I've been feeling more tired every day, and I don't know why. I made a mental note to make a doctor's wellness appointment. Maybe I just have low iron.

Cole told everyone to leave early because he wants me to get a headstart on learning how to close on my own. When Cole quits, he's recommending me as the next supervisor. It's a great workplace, and I'm used to it…at least until I graduate.

I lock the doors to the coffee shop, and as soon as I turn around, I bump into Cole's chest. He's standing right behind me. I let out a startled sigh. I playfully pat his shoulders away, making the distance between us more significant.

"You scared me."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I don't like seeing you scared," he admits. A warm flutter hits my chest. I look up at him as I try to catch my breath and cool down my heated nerves. But then he's giving me that same look. He palms the wall behind me and leans in. At 6'2, he has a height advantage over me.

Is he going to try something?

I give Cole a comforting smile as I walk toward my car, dipping under his cornered embrace. It's a full moon tonight, and I hear all the night critters making noises around us. Famous Texas insects sing all night but quiet down when we get too close to them. Humidity coats our skin as we continue to walk, and the smell of rain nearby wraps me up.

"Hey, Millie. I was wondering if you wanted to grab a drink right now. At the local bar?"

"Oh…" My heart sinks, knowing I have to reject him. Why can't I feel the same way? Or am I scared of falling for him? Am I afraid of someone treating me well? Cole is good…he's always just good to me.

"Cole, I'm actually really tired. I have a date with my bed tonight with a man called sleep," I joke, but he doesn't laugh.

Crap.

It's not a lie. God, I hate this. He means a lot to me.

Cole swallows harder than usual and forces a tart curve of his pink lips. I try to change the subject.

"What about this weekend? We can invite Leah, too." I look up at him, reassuring him. His smile widens, and he lowers himself to meet me. I tip-toe to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Sure...whatever you would like." Cole returns the kiss on my cheek. He stares at me for a few more beats and withdraws himself, masking his emotions with deadpanned dark brown eyes. He turns around, walks across the parking lot, and takes out his car keys. I watch him get into his car and leave.

A part of me wants to give us a chance, but I know I don't feel the same way towards him.

How will I know if I don't try ?

I'm scared of growing attached to someone.

I stick my key into the car handle but stop in my tracks as the noise around the trees erupts in front of my car.

Maybe a rabbit hopping around?

I quickly get into my car, pivoting on my feet. I close and lock the doors as soon as I'm entirely in. All the worst-case scenarios are going through my head.

A boar? A snake?

I twist my keys urgently, and the engine roars. As soon as I look into the rearview mirror to reverse out of the parking space, I see his ice-blue eyes staring right back at me. The creepy guy outside my window last night is inside my car in the backseat, grinning at me…with sharp teeth and glowing eyes that remind me of lasers. Before I can think or breathe, I scream at the top of my lungs.