28. Millie

28

MILLIE

It's nearing three in the morning, and I just want to sleep. Hayden wouldn't let me rest until after he made sure to take care of my wounds after biting me several times and having rough, angry sex with me. I'm exhausted. Just like the first time he made love to me. Everything is sore, and he hasn't let me sit alone and process everything. One minute, I tried to escape. The next, he killed his friend for trying to help me, and now… I'm engaged to a vampire. The guilt over Gerard is depleted when Hayden explains how horrific Gerard is known to be. He had a reputation himself. He was cruel to humans, and whoever he claimed as his blood supply for the week would endure pain and crimes. It turns out Hayden was already suspicious of him, so when he tried to help me, Hayden didn't hesitate to end him.

I inspect every detail of the giant ruby glimmering ring on my ring finger through the bubbles. It's an oval shape that takes up much of my finger and has natural diamonds on the rim.

I can see my drained reflection amongst it.

After he fucked me hard against the wall while floating, his eyes haven't left my body. It's like he's afraid I'll try and leave, but honestly, it's justified.

But I meant it. I meant it this time. I'm not leaving him. At the cost of my family, I can't do that to them. Plus…I don't think I want to escape him anymore.

I either marry him, or he'll kill my friends and family.

I've accepted him and everything that makes him depraved. He's my monster. And I'm going to sleep in the bed he's made for us.

We both brushed our teeth, and he made sure to grab me pajamas I could actually fit in for the night. When I hop into the warm water, I watch the water turn a lighter shade of red and swirl around me.

It's my blood .

This time, he only took minimal blood from me so that I didn't pass out or near my death. He controlled himself, and I'm sure that wasn't easy for him to do.

We're in his bathtub, and I sit in between his legs as he grabs a loofah and cleans off the countless bite marks on my body. The bite mark he left on my neck isn't clotting as fast, and it keeps dripping.

He squeezes the loofah angrily until his knuckles turn white, and soap falls onto my shoulder and down the middle of my breasts.

"Are you upset?" I ask softly, dreading the answer. I don't like it when he's mad. Because when he's angry, his depravity takes over him like a virus with no cure. It's hard to snap him out of it.

I yawn softly, trying not to fall asleep. He pulls my head back until I'm resting on the left side of his chest. He pulls my neck to the side so that it's exposed to him. I don't fight him. I can feel the pulse in my neck pump hard, and he's eyeing it closely.

"Yes. I'm mad, little Bambi. I'm mad at myself. I fucking bit you too hard here…" He leans forward and licks my neck. He drags his cold tongue like he's savoring every drop. The blood continues to fall, but he's trying to stop it. "I'm sorry, baby." He apologizes with remorse in every single word. I can feel the sincerity in it. He licks my neck once more until, finally, no more blood runs down my neck.

"Everyone fears you, don't they?" I don't know why I said it, but an impulse struck me hard, and the words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them.

He scoffs and palms both of my breasts. He squeezes them gently as he kisses my shoulder.

"I suppose. But you don't…do you?"

Shivers roll down my spine.

Yes. You scare me .

But I don't tell him that, even though I know he senses my unease and how the rhythm of my heartbeat quickened.

"You don't have to be afraid of me anymore. I won't ever fucking hurt, hit, or kill you." He grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him. His light blue eyes darken. "I'm not your parents. I won't leave you no matter how much you push me away. Do you not get it? I won't be okay if I don't have you. I love you so much that it fucking hurts. I'm a man who's been beaten down so much over centuries that I'm numb. I can't feel pain…but you? The thought of you not being with me? I'm in fucking agony. I'm obsessed. You're the only one that makes this life bearable. Like maybe I'm not eternally damned to hell after all…like maybe God does have a soft spot for me if he gave me you by crossing paths that one night in Texas."

He concedes his feelings for me once more, holding my chin in the palm of his hand, tight. His eyebrows pinch together like he needs me to believe him. Why wouldn't I? He's never lied to me since I met him. He's always followed through on his promises and threats.

I can see through him in this moment. It's slapping me in the face. Hayden has never been shown or taught how to be gentle, patient, or loved in a normal and healthy way. We're both searching for it, and I think we've found it in each other. He needs me just as much as I need him.

I reach over and pucker my lips to meet his. He doesn't let me move a centimeter more when he realizes I'm reaching in for a kiss. His lips are on mine, moving against me fiercely. He forces me to open my mouth with his tongue, and as soon as I do, his tongue dances with mine, and I melt in his arms. Once again, I'm giving in to him fully.

I'm surrendering to someone who loves me so deeply that it fades all of my bad memories away…all the scars I wear on my skin and in my soul. It's like it's just us two in a cruel world. When he holds me, everyone around me, every single person or thing that has ever hurt me, disappears.

How can he be so dark all the time yet so gentle with me when he wants to be? It's confusing me…but if this is my new life that's being forced upon me, I will accept it slowly over time.

His hand moves from my breasts as we continue to kiss, down my stomach and onto my pussy. He slaps my clit with his hand gently, and I squirm in his arms, making the light red waves of bath water move around us in the black tub. My heart begins to hammer, and my clit starts to throb, craving to be stimulated.

"Why me? You could have anyone, Hayden. You're beautiful, rich…" and you fuck like a God .

I break the kiss, and that's when I realize I'm straddling him in the bathtub with his hands on my hips and ass.

His dark hair is wet, and he watches me closely.

He stands quickly, and I stay there on my knees, watching him with his hardened cock as he strokes it. Water drips down his body and into the tub, while some gets on my face, and I blink it away.

"How many times do we have to have this conversation?" He asks as he reaches behind me and opens the drain. The water starts to dissipate and lower. I'm about to exit, but Hayden turns on the showerhead.

"Is it so wrong to become obsessed with someone that drives you to irredeemable madness? Is it so bad to have fallen in love with you because you didn't even think twice about sacrificing yourself for me when Davenport almost got the upper hand against me? You slit your veins open, leaving you vulnerable. You knew the consequences of those actions. You provoked the Mad King to keep me here. You did that to save me. And now…I want to save you."

How does he know so much about me? How does he know about my upbringing, my childhood, my mother, and my father? These small details? How does he know things I've never told anyone? Before I can put the missing puzzle piece together, Hayden hovers over me and pulls me up by my hands so that I'm standing.

"That's why I want you. I've never wanted to commit myself to anyone more than just a good fuck and blood supply. Never. Because it's not in my nature. I thought I wasn't capable of what I feel for you. You are the one who broke me !" He growls sensually and pushes me against the wall, making me face it. I palm the tiled black wall and bite my lip until it hurts. I turn around fast to watch him. My long black hair whips around, slaps the other side of my cheek, and sticks from how wet it still is. I wait for him to continue, heaving and rubbing my thighs together for relief.

God, I want to make him happy.

"Humans are made for fucking, and eating… not for love . That's what we're taught, you know? It's engraved into our dead brains when we turn. But you're teaching me that the laws we live by are a broken system. It's all a lie because you exist, and you were made for me!" He starts to finger my clit, kicking my feet apart, and nudges the crown of his cock in between my ass cheeks. His chest and abs are on my back as he rubs his cock against my rim like he wants to fuck it, but he holds back from entering.

I tilt my head back as he fingers my clit, and nirvana clouds my senses. I'm submitting to him just the way he wants me to. Just the way I have to …if I want to survive him.

The shower head continues to hit our hips as he kisses me. His fingers go lower, and he pumps three fingers inside me. I almost buckle over, and I moan his name over and over again.

"Hayden…Hayden…God, I want you inside me. Make me feel loved. Make me feel like I belong. Please."

"Oh, I will. You won't ever have to beg to be loved ever again." He removes his fingers from my pussy and instead puts one in my ass. He starts to stroke his finger in and out. My eyes widen as he stretches me, and he doesn't need to say where he wants to put his cock next.

"Good," I murmur. I close my eyes as the dark thoughts swirl, rooted in the curiosity of what it feels like to have his dick inside my ass. "Don't get me wrong, Hayden. I'm still very angry with you. I despise that you always take what you want from me. You make me crave you and fall in love with your demons. I will always want to fight this feeling with you because our beginning is…"

"Is what?" He snaps, pissed off, as he pushes his cock inside my rim. He shuts me up by filling me up with his thick shaft, and I gasp. I press my hand against the wall harder as my calves tighten.

I didn't realize how sensitive this would be! It hurts, but it feels… good .

I like the pain. He knows it.

"Traditional? Cliche? Like a romance-comedy movie?" Hayden taunts me for the answer, knowing damn well he's taking my ability to remember my own name away. He pushes his girth inside me more, and he pulls on my waist, forcing my ass to go up higher and making me stand on my toes.

"Our beginning was horrifying, and our journey still is terrifying," I spit out with lust and hatred wrapped into one. My voice breaks when he starts to quicken his pace. His balls slap against me as he moves.

He snickers as he starts to pump inside my ass. His skin slaps against mine with the shower water, and I whimper as I take it. My orgasm is already knocking on my door, waiting to obliterate me. I can't remember the pain of my past or my present while he's inside me.

"Good. Horror movies have always been my favorite." His darkened tone gives me goosebumps. "Touch yourself. Make yourself come all over your fingers while my cock is so deep inside your ass that you'll feel it in your soul for the rest of your life!"

So I do. I obey as always and reach for my dripping pussy and start to fuck myself with my fingers while he takes me from behind. He pulls on my hair like a leash and yanks my neck back as he continues to follow through on his promise…like he always does.

"Your eyes are rolling back, huh?" he grips the hollows of my cheeks, forcing my mouth to open. He smirks as he claims and stretches me. He hovers over my shoulder, spits in my mouth and shuts it tight. "Swallow it all like you will with my cum."

So I gladly do.

"I want it harder, Hayden," I admit through a moan.

"Harder? Jesus . I fucking love you," he growls. "I want your ass dripping with my cum."

I nod and bite my lip as he ruthlessly fucks me.

"Let me turn you. Join me. Please?! And we can live forever… together . We can fuck like this and never tire. We can travel and explore every single country together. Let me buy you the prettiest dresses and fill your jewelry box with the rarest diamonds in the world." He proposes another deal with him. He wants me to be immortal like him. He wants me to be his prisoner forever. "You'll always be protected and safe, baby. You wanted to fix me? Well, fix me! Drown me with your love. I'm begging for it. I'll always be good to you and make you feel loved like you deserve. You'll never be alone. I know you hate being alone ."

Again, how does he know that's one of my biggest fears? I furrow my brows as I try to figure it out, but then he bites my shoulder, and the pain knocks my thoughts away. He doesn't suck. He lets blood fall down and watches it like he's hungry but doesn't want to give in to the cravings. He's already taken enough blood for the night. He can sense it.

"Let,"

Thrust .

"Me."

Thrust .

"Turn you!"

He's fucking me so deep and feral right now. Water splashes every time his hips collide with mine. He's begging for it violently. He's using my body as a tool to get what he wants. But this …I can control it. My choice to be mortal is a decision I get to make. He cannot make me change or take that from me, and it's killing him on the inside. He desperately wants me to chant those Latin words three times to consent to become a creature of the night like him, but I refuse.

I shake my head fast and vehemently. "No, Hayden. I won't be like you!" I cry out as I come all over my fingers. My orgasm bursts through me like fire, from head to toe. My mouth gapes open as he continues to brutally fuck me. I want to fall over from how hard I came, but Hayden forces me to stand and continues to wreck my ass as I ride my torturous amazing high.

He's my drug, and I'm afraid I'm addicted to the way he floods my veins.

He growls that same animalistic roar, wraps his hand around my neck, and presses his fingers into my skin, slightly taking my ability to breathe right away. I don't need to turn around to see that he's in Drago Vampire mode again with crimson eyes, pupils blown, and fangs ready to slash into me.

He punches the tiled black wall in front of me, causing it to shatter. Pieces of the wall fall to the bathtub floor and run down toward the drain. He's impatient and urgently begging me, full of wrath. He doesn't like being told no.

"You're the only woman who has ever denied me. Say it! Volo unum esse cum morte !"

But I shake my head, denying the future he so badly craves.

"Say it!"

No .

He continues to work my body. Before another minute can pass, he grunts and matches my orgasm. He comes undone as his own climax gets pumped into my ass. He lets go of my neck and grips my hips so tight as he pushes his cock as deep as it can go, and he's making me hurt for denying him. More bruises will be added to my collection, along with the rest. I love it when he marks me like that.

He keeps driving his slow thrusts until his balls are empty, and all of his semen is inside me instead. "I need you to be a good girl for me every day and a bad needy slut in my bed when my cock is inside you."

If I was exhausted before, I'm completely drained.

He pulls out fast and turns me around rapidly. He lifts my chin up with his finger and kisses me hard, rough, needy. His eyes are still dilated and angry. I kiss him back, matching his speed, and we eat each other's sins, matching our broken pieces like we always do when our bodies collide.

"You will consent. You will do as I say. You are mine, Millie . You will say those three words, or must I take someone away for you to realize that you will not escape me by dying from old age or sickness by staying human," he drawls again psychopathically. "Cole? Nash? Leah? I'm your family. I'm your home. I'm your haven." His husky voice taunts me again, daring me to tell him no so he can try and break me into agreeing.

"Stop it! I already agreed to marry you. Leave them alone!" Horror creeps into my tone as I shout and push at his chest with my fists. I'm tempted to punch his jaw, but his sinister smile makes me hesitate. He grabs my wrist before it connects with his face. I try to pull back, but he doesn't let up.

"Do I have to fuck your resentment away until you stop fighting me?" he asks cruelly. His eyes darken as he smiles ominously like he's enjoying looking at me succumbing to him. He licks the bottom of his front teeth across his fangs, and I scrunch my face to stop my whimpers from escaping. His red eyes charge like he's obsessed with everything that makes me me.

He forces his soft lips on mine, pressing into me like he needs me to understand that I'm not going anywhere, reminding me of my place in this life together. He pulls back, and his eyes are emotionless, dark, and depraved. He smirks and tucks my hair behind my ear, gentle as always, but his next words have me riddled with fear again.

"I may love you with all that I am. But don't forget WHO I am . You will commit to becoming immortal, and I'll give you some time to accept that when I say forever, I fucking mean forever . Now, let's get you to sleep, baby girl."

He leans forward, kissing me slowly but harshly.

"I'll see you next moon," he tells me after he pulls away.

I swallow as I try to ignore the pulsation and lust and try to snap out of my dark thoughts. The same demons he fights.

He carries me to our bed after drying and clothing me with fresh undergarments. I slide under the blankets just as he lays down next to me. Before I fall asleep, my heart thunders, and then it quiets as he kisses my neck where his mark is. We watch one of his favorite classic movies as he holds my breasts and continues to kiss my neck every other minute. His big hands roam everywhere until I eventually feel some sort of peace as we watch the movie together.

"I'll see you next moon," I whisper my final goodnight, and I can hear his deep hum of satisfaction behind me. His cock is erect, but he doesn't act on it.

I fall asleep.