Chapter 27

ChapterTwenty-Seven

She wasn’t sure if she should be sick to her stomach with nerves or so shaky on her feet. Was this a normal reaction to a man agreeing to tell her how he murdered someone?

Katherine trailed him through the hallway, mourning the loss of his heat and wondering what had happened between them that would lead him here. Gluttony clearly thought that whatever he had to say would change her. That she would look at him like he was the monster everyone said he was.

Didn’t he know she was beyond that?

A resolve burned deep in her belly. She would prove to him that she was not the person he thought she was. She wasn’t some pawn who listened to the town’s whims. Katherine made her own decisions about him, and she’d already decided that he wasn’t a nightmarish beast.

Now, more than ever, she realized there were layers to people. Just as there were layers to Alexander who had fired her over something so silly as to think that she had been brainwashed by the man in front of her.

How could she be? He strode down the hallway, his back rounded in despair as he led her to his study. And she already knew the room was more comfortable for him than anywhere else. He would linger in his chair, cozying up next to the fire that never went out before he told her a story that he thought would rip them apart. What monster was this? A man who was willing to own his own actions?

No, he was no monster. But he needed someone to prove that to him.

As she walked into his office behind him, a plan was already formulating in her mind. First, she would woo him. Flowers were always a good option, and he looked like the kind of man who wouldn’t be insulted if she brought him handfuls of flowers. In fact, he might even appreciate the effort. Then she would tell him nice things about himself, all leading up to a quiet evening where she would kiss him again.

Because she wanted to kiss him. By all the gods and the seven kingdoms, she’d wanted to do it again since the first time they’d touched. She wanted to feel him arching against her, and moving at the same beat. She wanted...

He stood before the fire, his back to her and the red light turning him into a ghostly silhouette. The darkness that surrounded him was... eerily familiar.

“Spite,” she said with surprise. “There you are. I haven’t seen you in ages!”

The little spirit rolled out from underneath Gluttony’s desk, pulling its tendrils away from him and slowly moving toward her. But it wasn’t black anymore. Not at all. The little gray spirit looked like it was ill.

She gathered it up in her arms, holding it against her heartbeat as she looked it over. “What happened to you?”

The spirit didn’t seem capable of speech, and it was Gluttony who responded. “It’s changing.”

“It’s what?”

“Changing into something else.” He gave the spirit a wry grin, and she thought he looked rather sad as well. “At least one of us can change.”

She wanted to ask what he meant by that. Why would he need to change?

But he was already shaking his head again and turning away from her. “I killed her. You know that much.”

With the spirit still in her arms, she sank into the chair on the opposite side of his desk. “I think everyone knows that. We all saw you bring her body into the town.”

“She...” He took a deep breath. “She was the first person to walk into this castle and see me as something other than a demon. I still remember the first time she walked up that boardwalk. She was all confidence, Katherine. A swagger to her hips and a determined expression on her face. Larissa, she said her name was. And that she was going to be the first person to enter my castle in a hundred years.”

That was right. Larissa was her name. Katherine nodded and held Spite a little tighter. “She was beautiful, I remember. Her father used to say that everyone would want to marry his girl.”

“They all did.” He huffed out a chuckle. “That was part of her problem, you see. She didn’t want to get married. She wanted to leave this place, grow her own family in another kingdom, see what she could make of herself without her family name shadowing everything that she did.”

A dark, bitter silence followed after that. Katherine knew better than to push him, so she remained quiet while he meandered through his dark feelings.

“At first, I refused. I couldn’t stand to see such beauty wasted in a castle like this.” Gluttony cleared his throat, and then added, “On a man like me. But she was persistent, like you. She didn’t give me the opportunity to turn her away, and soon enough, she was joining me for dinner. She used to bring food up from the village, good bread and wine and cheese. Showing me everything that your town could offer, and then denying it to me if I did not comply.

“At the time, I was not feeding on anyone. I had tasted and devoured everything that I could and I’ll admit, the boredom was beginning to drive me mad. I am Gluttony, Katherine. My purpose in life is to consume and to devour. There is nothing else for me.”

She wanted to argue that there was so much more, and yet he didn’t want to hear it. She knew that.

His shoulders lifted up and down in another deep breath. “Soon enough, we talked more about what I was. Who I was. She wanted to know everything about being a demon, and I was so tired of being alone. I wanted to talk with her. I wanted to know what she thought when I bared my very soul.

“And she liked it. She liked me. I remember the first time she kissed me.” He lifted a hand and pressed his fingers to his lips. “I’d tasted hundreds of women in the thousand years of my life, but none of them had been so willing as her. She wrapped me right around her fingers and that was why, years later, after she’d finally given up on her dream of escaping, I was so surprised when she came here and offered me her neck.”

Katherine frowned and couldn’t stop herself from asking, “Why would she do that?”

“She knew the temptation. Larissa was a smart woman. She knew the only thing I’d never tasted was... her. The life that flowed in her veins. Through all of your veins.”

To her immense relief, he finally turned back to her and sat down in his chair. The desk between them might as well have been an ocean. He looked so... defeated.

He wouldn’t meet her eyes as he continued to tell her what had happened. “At first, that was our relationship. She came here with the expressed interest at having me feed from her. Even after her father betrothed her to a man from another village.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“No one did.” He shook his head, his lip curling in disgust. “Her father saw her as a trophy. A prize to be given away to the person he deemed most worthy of touching his offspring. But she didn’t want to be touched by anyone but me. And I...”

He stopped talking.

Jealousy churned in her belly for a few moments before she had to thrust it aside. Spite tucked itself against her belly, and she almost could feel it wriggling into her body. She wanted to hear him say terrible things about Larissa, not that she was lovely and that she...

Katherine breathed, “She loved you.”

Gluttony nodded. “In her own way. But I did not love her back. I am a demon, Katherine. The feelings of love and devotion are so far from what I am capable of. It crushed her. I think in some part of her mind she’d always thought I would save her from the marriage. That as their king, I could order her father to give her to me.”

“It would solve a lot of her problems.”

“But I couldn’t do anything at all. I couldn’t save her anymore than I could gift her freedom. She would have been nothing more than a blood slave if she stayed with me.” His fingers tapped a rhythm against his knee, and she wasn’t certain he was aware he was doing it. “I told her as much, and she disappeared for a while. I feared something had happened to her, but then... she came back.”

Just like Katherine had. Just like he’d been so afraid that she wouldn’t.

Gluttony saw the thoughts in her eyes and nodded. “Yes, that’s why I’ve always been... nervous that you wouldn’t come back. Because she almost didn’t. Her father had beaten her bloody, and I was the monster who stood there, looking at this beaten woman, wondering if her blood would taste sour because of what had happened.”

Her heart twisted in her chest. She knew that this was some kind of compulsion for him. How could she not? Katherine had always seen the way he watched her with hunger when it had been too long since he had fed. She understood the need drove him sometimes, but... that was cruel. Even for him.

He nodded. “Ah, you see now. I am not proud of the reaction, nor do I believe anyone else should be subjected to my dark thoughts. It took only a moment for her to thrust herself in front of me. I thought for a second that she had come seeking my help. And if she had asked me to hide her, I would have.

“But that was not why Larissa came to my castle that night.” He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing with emotion. “She asked me to drain her dry. That I should have the last meal and to know what death itself tastes like. That she couldn’t live like this anymore. Not in this kingdom. Not with her father. And not without my love.”

“So she...”

“She wanted me to kill her,” he finished for her. “She asked for it, and I did what she wanted without question. I should have stopped. I should have begged her to reconsider or to think for a few more moments, but I did not. I held her in my arms and I listened to the sound of her dying breath as I drank from her. And even now I remember how peaceful she sounded.”

Tears gathered in his eyes, turning those red orbs glassy as he seemingly begged for her to understand what he had done. He wanted her to condemn him for murdering a young woman.

What a terrible memory to rule his life.

Slowly, Katherine stood. She set Spite down on the chair. The little spirit was almost liquid as it watched her walk around the desk and then kneel in front of Gluttony.

Placing her hands gently on his knees, she looked up into his eyes to make sure he understood what she was about to say. “You are not a monster for giving a woman release from this world.”

“Katherine—”

“No, Gluttony. You’ve said what you’ve had to say, and you have given yourself too many years of torment. Now it’s my turn to talk.” She squeezed his knees. “She was an adult, not a child. Though perhaps to you, all of us seem like children after a thousand years of watching us live and die. But she knew what she was asking of you. Would she have changed her mind if you had stopped? Maybe. But she also might have reminded you that she was very ready for the end and that her life had gone in a very wrong direction.”

“She wouldn’t have—” Gluttony stopped when she lunged forward and pressed her hand over his mouth.

“You don’t get to speak for the dead,” she said with an angry snarl. “You might be a demon king and perhaps you now know what death tastes like, but you cannot speak for the souls of those who have passed on! Enough, Gluttony. You carry your past deeds like a weight on your shoulders and you should have put them down a long time ago.”

He stared down at her and she could feel how lost he was. “I don’t know how to put it down, Katherine. I’ve carried it for so very long.”

Getting up onto her knees, she shortened the gap between them. Scooping the back of his neck, she drew him closer to her and breathed against his lips, “I will help you.”

And because she needed to, because she felt like she would break apart if she didn’t, she kissed him. A soft, quiet kiss. A lingering touch that was gentle and kind.

He parted his own beneath hers, the exhalation of his breath filling her lungs as she consumed his sadness. Drawing it deep into herself so he wasn’t the only one who had to carry it.

And when she parted from him, she whispered against him, “I will carry it with you for as long as you wish to keep it. And then, together, we will let it go.”

A shuddering, trembling breath shook through him before he crushed her to him. Not in a kiss or even for hunger’s sake. He just held her. So Katherine slid her arms around him and held him back. She kept him close to her chest, tucked her head against his shoulder, and held on for as long as he needed her to.

She had no idea how much time passed, only that she listened to the crackling of the fire and the ragged sounds of his breath. And when he finally drew back, she thought perhaps his eyes were a little more red than normal.

“Thank you for that,” he breathed. “I’m not sure you can understand how much I needed to hear it.”

“Oh, I understand well enough.” Skating her thumbs over his cheekbones, she wiped away the last remaining hint of tears from his cheeks. “You don’t have to be alone, Gluttony. Not unless you wish to be.”

“I have been alone for a great many years.”

“Then I have a lot to make up for.” And she refused to stay in this office for any longer than necessary. She had a man to woo, and a heart to mend.

Standing, she held out her hand for him.

Gluttony looked up at her, suspicion already clouding his features. “Where do you wish to take me?”

“To rest.” Katherine was decidedly pleased when he placed his hand in hers and allowed her to draw him to standing. “Stay the night with me, Gluttony. You said you don’t sleep often, but I wonder if perhaps sleep is exactly what you need.”

And so the demon king placed his hand in hers and allowed her to guide him from the room. Together, they walked through the dark halls, and it felt like perhaps they were a little lighter. Just like Spite.

He let her draw him into her bed, quietly and without any complaint. And as Katherine crawled in after him, he curled his body around hers. Like this was the most natural position for the both of them, and she had to imagine that it was.

Because, like everything they did together, it felt so easy to lie with him like this and drift off into sleep.