Chapter 23

ChapterTwenty-Three

Katherine wished she could say she was a braver woman. She wanted to live up to what Gluttony had called her all those months ago. Brave, kind, and confident. That was the person she wanted to be.

But for the next couple of days after their kiss, she was not that person at all.

She hid in her room. She remained avoidant and, frankly, upset about all of it. Not at him, never at him. But at herself for falling so deeply head first into a complicated situation.

Everything had been so easy in the boarding house. She had her room and her friends, or at least the people who could tolerate her. She had her job and all the people who needed her there.

Sure, she’d been lonely. Even surrounded by people, she had been more alone than she was here. And she’d recognized that. Some nights she’d laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling, wondering if this was all she was going to have. Just her own little room, until she couldn’t afford to pay for it anymore, and then what?

No one to hold her at night. No one to care if she was even gone.

But she hadn’t thought the solution to that problem would be the most dangerous man in the kingdom, kissing her and touching her in such a way that the mere memory still sent flames throughout her entire body.

She wanted him.

Oh, by the gods, she was an idiot who wanted a demon king.

And so she’d spent a large amount of her time just sitting and staring out the window. Trying her best to muddle through her thoughts that were rather complicated and certainly weren’t productive. She wanted to smack herself across the cheek and say that this was foolish.

But she couldn’t. Because every time Katherine had settled that she would just thrust these emotions aside and forget about it, she saw his face in her mind’s eye. Or she would hear a quiet knock at the door and open it to find food on the other side.

He never pushed her. Never rushed her. Gluttony was the perfect gentleman who gave her all the space and time she needed to make her own decisions. Almost as though he was well aware that she was uncomfortable about the entire situation and that he couldn’t fix it.

A gray mist rolled from underneath the door, sliding through the cracks and then gathering back up in a familiar shape.

“Spite,” she said quietly, returning her attention to the stunning view of the moors. “What are you doing here?”

“I should ask the same of you,” the spirit grumbled. It climbed up to the windowsill to sit beside her. “You’re wallowing.”

“I’m not.”

“You haven’t left this room in days. Not even to go to that job you’re so ridiculously proud of.” It sounded rather disgusted that she was proud of it, though. “You should at least go into the kitchens. Get something to eat. Walk, maybe. You’ll turn into soup on the floor if you stay here much longer.”

She chuckled at its dramatics. “I won’t turn into soup on the floor, you silly spirit.”

“Silly,” it muttered. “When was the last time someone called me silly?”

Katherine leaned back, more grateful for the distraction than the spirit would want to know. “Well, I don’t know. I know nothing about you, really.”

“Didn’t your spirit seeing mother teach you anything about us?”

“If she did, I didn’t listen. Everyone told me she was stark raving mad, so what little girl would listen to her mother when everyone else said spirits were made up stories?” She leaned back in her chair, letting the moors disappear from sight as she focused on the spirit. “So, go on then. What’s your story?”

“Not much of one. I’ve been in this kingdom my entire life.”

“Are spirits born?”

Spite turned slightly, the long wisps of its body falling over the windowsill like trailing water. “No. We can be created if there is a sizeable amount of one emotion in one area. Like a blast of feeling. It takes a lot of human emotion to create one of us. But it happens.”

“And you were created as Spite? That’s hard for me to imagine a large group of people who all felt that at the same time.” What would have caused that? She knew little about the kingdom’s history. So few people had any chance of schooling in Gluttony’s kingdom, let alone the time to study history or art. Katherine had been thrown into working at the almshouse when she was very little. And that’s where she had stayed.

Spite curled in on itself a little tighter. “I wasn’t born as Spite,” it muttered. “But I turned into this all the same.”

Her mother had spoken of that before. That spirits, if compressed, could turn into something else.

“Do you remember what you once were?” she asked.

“No.”

“Do you think you could ever go back to it?”

“Not if I don’t remember what it was,” Spite hissed. “What are you trying to do, human? I’m not interested in changing and you don’t really want to see me change. I am what I am, and that’s not going to change any time soon. So stop trying to manipulate me.”

“I was just trying to help.” And Katherine had gotten quite used to Spite’s little outbursts lately. For all that the spirit blustered, it was turning lighter and lighter gray. The longer she was around it, actually.

“I don’t want your help.” It rolled off the windowsill and made a frustrated little noise. “Now get out of this damned room! Go do something.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know! Help Gluttony. He’s been throwing things in the lab for hours now, and I don’t know what’s going wrong with that stupid alchemical bullshit that he’s working on.” Spite hesitated at the door and then added, “But it might have something to do with the fact that his brother is still here.”

Katherine’s hands were on the chair arms before she noticed she’d moved. “Envy hasn’t left yet?”

“No, and he’s making your demon king all kinds of angry. Best get on with it. You seem to be the only person who can calm him down.”

And with that, the spirit left. It left her feeling horrible for hiding. Horrible that Gluttony had to face his brother on his own and that she’d fed him to the wolves.

Sighing, she stared up at the ceiling before she nodded firmly. “All right, Katherine. You need to get yourself together.”

So she did. She took a bath, washed her hair, dried it in the best way the curls would let her, and then got dressed in real clothing for the first time in a few days.

Spite had said Gluttony was in his laboratory, so that was where she’d head first. At least she could apologize for her behavior and then ask him about Envy. Together, they might be able to figure out the best steps to get his brother out of the castle.

If Gluttony even wanted to talk with her. She’d handled all of this like a child rather than the grown woman she was.

Tsking, she made quick work of eating up the distance between them. A few nights in that comfortable bed had done wonders for the ache in her hip, although she still had a bit of a limp as she rounded the corner and walked into the lab.

“Gluttony?” she called out as she strode in. Her skirts tangled between her legs, hanging her up for a second as she paused a few steps inside. “Are you in here?”

“He’s not.”

The door shut behind her. And she had the horrible feeling that she’d just walked into a trap.

Frowning, Katherine turned to see Envy leaning against the wall on the other side of the door.

“What are you still doing here?” she asked.

He looked far too comfortable leaning against that wall, and far too large. Katherine had never once looked at another person and been concerned for her own well being as much as she was when she stood in front of Envy. He was massive, tall and broad, and a little too watchful. His eyes trailed over her, seeing far too much.

And after his perusal, she felt lacking.

He leveraged himself off the wall and walked toward her, arms still crossed over his chest. “What am I doing here? I’m his brother. I can come and visit whenever I wish.”

“I don’t think he really wants you here.”

Envy walked around her, leaning down to breathe into her ear, “The real question is, what are you doing here?”

She stiffened. “I’m here to help my people and to help Gluttony at the same time.”

“Is that so?”

It was the truth, in a way. She was here for both of those people, even though it didn’t feel like it sometimes. She wanted both her town and her king to be... happy. In whatever way that took.

Gluttony deserved happiness. She firmly believed that, and she believed that the townsfolk saw him as something other than what he truly was. How to convince them otherwise? She had no idea. Katherine wasn’t the person that came up with all the plans. But she would help. She was good at that.

Envy circled her and then paused in front of her. She had to crane her neck so far back to even look up at him. She hadn’t expected him to be quite so tall. Gluttony was massive, after all. And yet, this brother was even bigger.

He had tired eyes, though. And that softened her. “What do you want from me?” she asked. “I’m here for the right reasons, even if you don’t believe that.”

“I’m not sure you understand what the right reasons are.” Envy reached out for a lock of her hair and the greasy feeling that his touch left behind made her shiver.

Only Gluttony touched her like that. He was the one who curled her hair around his fingers like it was the finest of rubies, and that made her feel good. She liked it when Gluttony touched her.

Not this man she did not know.

Katherine shook off his grip, taking a shuddering step backward. “Please don’t touch me.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t like to be touched.”

“You like it enough when my brother touches you.” Envy trailed along in her footsteps, his eyes narrowing. “You seem to think that there is a connection between the two of you, but I am here to warn you, little human. Gluttony does not make attachments. He does not stay with any of his playthings for very long. You would be wise to run.”

Frozen in fear, she stayed where she was, shuddering as he brushed her hair to the side and skated his fingers over the faint scars on the side of her face. “These are almost impossible to see, you know.”

She did know. But that didn’t mean the others, the more permanent injuries, were as hidden. She swallowed hard, trying to jerk away from him again only to find herself pressed against a table. “I said, don’t touch me.”

“Envy,” Gluttony’s voice lashed out from the doorway. Barely contained rage had him standing there, and his gaze locked on hers. “Let her go.”

“Oh, hush, brother. I’m just showing you that your pet is already broken. You were unaware.” Envy’s eyes flashed green for a moment before he took a step back. With a satisfied expression, he gestured at her. “Haven’t you noticed her limp? She’s good at hiding it. And with those faint scars on her face, I’d guess she’s a lot more broken than she’s letting on.”

This was all falling apart. Everything. Right in front of her while her heart tried to beat its way out of her chest.

She wasn’t broken.

She had gotten away from all that here. Katherine had fought tooth and nail to be someone, and here she was. Sacrificing herself to save her village, with the only man who had ever seen her as a person. And he stood in that doorway, shocked, with an open mouth as he stared at her.

“Kat?” he asked.

And oh, it tore her into pieces.

He wanted to know the truth. He wanted to hear how she’d been lying to him all this time. Who was she to deny him that? Everyone deserved the truth.

Tears stung in her eyes, and she had to look at the floor for the words to come pouring out of her mouth.

“My father was lost after mother disappeared. He thought that maybe she would come back, so we stayed in the same house. Then she didn’t. He went out after her and I was far too young to be alone. I was only eight years old, and I was cold. So I lit a fire in the hearth, but I didn’t realize that the rug was too close after I’d been playing. I fell asleep and woke to the whole house in flames.”

Katherine twisted her fingers together, beating back the memories that threatened to overwhelm her. She didn’t want to think about this. It was hard enough to live it, let alone to tell him that his brother was right. She was broken. And she was a fool.

“Our house had two stories, and I tried to run down the stairs to get away from the flames. I fell down them and twisted my hip out of place, then broke my pelvic bone on the way down.” She took a deep breath, steeling herself for the worst part of it. “But there was no one else in the house, and we were on the outskirts of town. It took a long time for anyone to realize the house was on fire, and I was not awake after the injury. I don’t remember much, but apparently someone came and saved me. I had horrible burns all down the right side of my body along with the broken bone.”

Gluttony took a staggering step into the room. “Katherine.”

Even Envy looked shocked at her words.

But she couldn’t stop now. So she lifted her hand, holding her palm up for silence. “They couldn’t heal the bone right away because of the burns. Apparently, every time they touched me, more skin came off. So I have a permanent limp. And I have scars. It hurts every time it rains and even worse if there’s a storm or a long day of walking. But I walk.”

Fierce now, she looked up and met Envy’s wide-eyed gaze. “I walk from here to the village. It took me two years to learn how to do that again, and I am proud of it. I stand for hours at the almshouse on my own, without sitting down. I manage the pain as best I can. I am not broken.”

He pressed a hand to his chest and opened his mouth, but she wasn’t ready to hear his apologies. He didn’t get to apologize for something like that.

So she interrupted a king. “I am not broken,” she repeated. “I was cracked and now I have been remade. Shame on you for revealing that without my permission, and for using such nasty terms.”

“I didn’t—”

“I don’t want to hear your apologies. I don’t have to forgive you.” Katherine dropped into a low curtsey before she started crying. Before the panic and anxiety of what Gluttony would think could swell and drown her. “Goodbye, gentlemen.”

And with that, Katherine left the room.