Chapter 18

ChapterEighteen

Her dreams were full of him. And strangely enough, she knew they were dreams.

Katherine was very much aware that she was walking through a dreamscape as she strode through misty halls. A pale white gown swirled around her knees, so sheer she could see straight through it. And at the end of the hall, a monster waited for her.

Red, glowing eyes illuminated the mist that surrounded him. The light left him in a swirling, blood-red massacre and yet she wanted him. Oh, she wanted him so much it hurt. Her heart thundered, her neck throbbed and pulsed, and she could feel herself growing wet and slick.

She wanted him to hold her again. She wanted to feel his heat pressing between her legs, urging her forward. To rock. To move in ways that she had never before. She wanted to feel him between her legs and in her neck. At the same time. Devouring her whole as only a creature like him could.

She’d never thought she would be like this. Katherine was scared of the creatures that surrounded her town and had a healthy respect for them as she walked by. But she’d never wanted to touch one of them. She’d never wanted them to do what he had done to her.

What kind of person enjoyed that?

But she supposed it didn’t matter because this was her dream, and in dreams, there were no consequences. She could race toward him, arms outstretched as she cupped the back of his neck and drew him down to her shoulder.

His fangs pierced through her skin so easily, sliding into her as she wished another part of him would. And then those big hands... She could feel the ghost of his touch, not quite where she wanted him, as though even her dreaming mind couldn’t conjure what it would feel like for him to touch her.

But she wanted to know. Katherine wanted him to palm her breasts, to squeeze them a little too hard until he trailed his hands between her legs. Would he be good at that? She’d heard the women in the village talking about it, but Katherine had never been the person they wanted to speak with.

She’d never... No one wanted to fuck a woman with a bad hip. She was the villager on the outskirts. No one even knew if she could have children, or if the pregnancy would kill her because she couldn’t move her leg out of the way. She had to keep it down. Had no mobility to move it to the side.

Even Gluttony must have noticed the way she sat on his lap and had to lean to the side. It left her neck bared for him, and gave him easier access, but her weight had to move almost entirely onto her bad leg. It could take the weight. It was just so stiff that she couldn’t actually open that leg wide enough, and...

Now the thoughts changed the dream. He looked down at her with disgust, his hand moving to her hip and flicking it with a claw. “This is a problem,” she heard him say. “I cannot have a broken woman in my castle.”

“I’m not broken,” she whispered, but the hurt seared right into her bones. Almost as though she could feel his disdain inside the marrow of her hip.

“You are broken, Katherine. Not even I can help you.”

Kat. He’d called her Kat when she returned, or pet. Not Katherine. And this wasn’t... this wasn’t real. It was just a dream and she could control her dream.

“Come back to me,” she said, opening her arms and struggling to control her own dreamscape. “I want to feel you against me.”

She knew what that felt like. Surely he would give her this. He would let her press herself against his body, because her mind knew how to conjure that. Maybe if he held her, then it would all... all...

But his smile was so cruel. “No, I’m not going to do that, Katherine. You’re so broken. Why would I ever want to touch you again?”

She could feel her heart shattering. It hurt so much to hear him say that. Like everyone else. Like everyone who thought she was too broken, too weak. She couldn’t do anything with her leg like that and poor, poor Katherine. Someone should help her. Someone should send her food, because clearly she couldn’t take care of herself. Why would she even try?

A loud rumble of thunder speared through her dream. And for a moment, she saw someone else in Gluttony’s eyes. A black shadow that had never been there when she’d seen him before.

Then she blinked her eyes open.

The darkness of her room was startling as she coughed and yanked at something sinister that covered her eyes. It was sticky, clinging to her fingers with an icy cold. And then a sharp snap of lightning illuminated the room, and she saw her fingers were coated with a dark mist. A mist that gathered together with a laugh as it rolled off her bed toward the floor.

“Cursed spirit,” she hissed, flinging Spite away from her. “Stay out of my dreams.”

It didn’t reply, which was likely good. She would have argued with the damned thing long before she let it touch her again. She’d need to talk with Gluttony about a way to give her better privacy in the room he’d gifted her.

Her room...

Peering around, Katherine realized she was in her bed. Hadn’t she been downstairs with Gluttony the last time she remembered? Yes, she’d been on his lap and been thoroughly enjoying herself when she’d felt a little woozy. Realizing that she was very quickly getting a little too lightheaded, she’d tapped on his shoulder and then... nothing. Just the dream.

Oh, she’d passed out.

She shouldn’t be so embarrassed by that. Gluttony had nearly killed countless of his own subjects with his feeding, but she had wanted to be different. Maybe she had wanted to be the one who could take him.

Ridiculous thoughts. Foolish thoughts of a little girl who didn’t realize what she wanted. That’s all.

Lightning illuminated the room again, falling upon the tall, broad form of a man next to the window.

Katherine screamed before smacking her hands over her mouth so hard it hurt. “Sorry!” she gasped when her heart finally stopped racing. “I should know it’s you by now.”

“Most people scream when they see me,” Gluttony replied, though he stayed where they were. “I’m used to it.”

“That doesn’t make it right.” Clearing her throat, she sat up in her bed and curled her arms around her middle. “What are you doing here?”

A match struck in the darkness. He lit a few candles beside her bed, and a soft, warm glow surrounded them. He looked better than he had when she’d returned, Katherine realized. Those dark circles that were always under his eyes had disappeared. Even his cheeks had a merry, rosy glow that he’d never had before.

“You look well,” she said as he set something down on the side of her bed.

“I feel well.”

“Better than me.” She looked down at her hands clutching the bed sheets and frowned. “Why is that?”

“I believe feeding upon blood does more for me than regular food.” He hesitated at the side of her bed, looking down at it and then back at her. “May I?”

“Of course.” She smiled at him, suddenly realizing that she was rather shaky. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this. I’m not really sure why I feel so strange.”

He snorted. “Probably because I drank too much blood.”

“Ah. That would explain it.” Right. She remembered that. But she was just a little confused right now and very foggy.

Instead of asking more questions, Katherine watched as he gathered the things he’d set on the side of her bed. She recognized them. Clean bandages, a small bottle of salve, and a spiced drink that he handed to her. Without thinking, she automatically held it.

Just like she’d done in his laboratory.

Inhaling the scent of ginger and honey, she took a small sip while he measured out the roll of bandages and started cutting it with his claws. “This is quite nice.”

“What is?”

“The tea.” She watched his brows furrow in concentration before pointing to an edge of the bandage. “You can just rip it from there. No need to use your claws.”

He sighed heavily before letting the bandage fall into his lap, hands limp. “I’m not very good at this.”

“What? Talking with someone after you’ve fed? You’ve talked to me before.”

“No, um. Taking care of them afterward.”

And he looked so sad to admit it. His eyes remained on his lap, as he refused to look at her. The bandages were limp in his grip, so clearly he intended to try to heal her after what he’d done. And sure, she didn’t feel very good. But she wasn’t dead, and that was good news.

“Oh.” She sipped at her tea, waiting until he flicked his gaze to hers. “You are quite rubbish at this, yes.”

A bark of startled laughter erupted from his mouth before he got control of himself. But some of the shadows in his eyes had fled. “You, however, are very good at that.”

“What?”

“Making me feel comfortable around you.”

“Well, it’s not hard.” When he gave her a skeptical look, she shrugged. “You have very low standards.”

Again, he laughed, and she saw something in him ease. Gluttony leaned forward and worked the bandage around her neck, gentle as he left it loose so he could swipe that balm over the wounds. Considering she felt very little pain at the action, she had to assume that the puncture wounds were already closed.

He was so careful the entire time. This massive man with claws that ripped and tore anyone who stood in his way, worked with her like she was as fragile as the thinnest of glass.

She watched his eyes as he moved. Dark and hiding so many secrets, it was hard for her to guess what he was feeling. She only knew that he felt a considerable amount of shame, and she wondered if that was partly because he thought she was in pain.

“It’s all right, you know,” she whispered. “I’m fine.”

“You aren’t fine.”

“I’m just a little groggy. I’ll feel better in the morning after I get something to eat. Blood can be remade.”

He shook his head and his throat bobbed in a swallow. “But you cannot be.”

And what was she supposed to say to that? She’d never had anyone care about her well being or whether or not she was in pain. Katherine was always in pain. This was nothing compared to the dull ache in her hip where she had spread her legs too wide to straddle him. Nor was it anything like the ache that happened in her skin, the tightness in her side when she thought about the fire. And he’d never even mentioned her scars.

Maybe he hadn’t seen them.

Maybe, after all this time with her, he still didn’t realize that she was broken.

Licking her lips, she watched him track the movement before asking, “Why me?”

“Because you taste like honey.” Gluttony traced his thumb over her bottom lip. “Because you look at me like I’m a man, and no one has done that in a very long time.”

“But you are a man.”

“No, I’m a demon.” He tucked in the ends of the bandage, making sure it was perfectly situated around her neck so she could breathe and swallow. “You said when you came here that you’ve treated women who have been in my thrall before?”

“In your thrall? What a presumptuous thing to say when it was clearly a business transaction. They came home with money, did they not?”

He shook his head. “The entire time you’ve been here, pet, you’ve asked me ‘why you’? But have you paused to think for even a moment that I might ask the same of you?”

She blinked owlishly. “Whatever do you mean?”

“You could have anyone you wish.” His gaze softened, and he reached for a lock of her hair. Gluttony coiled it around his finger, as he always seemed to do whenever he could touch it. “Surely you are not blind to your own beauty? Any man in your town would be lucky to have you, and yet here you are, standing in front of my castle, no matter what I do to chase you off.”

Every part of her froze as he brushed the back of his fingers against her cheek. He looked at her like a starving man, and not for food. He looked quite content, in fact. He was not hungry for her blood, but just for her attention.

And she didn’t know what to say to that.

Did she tell him that she was wounded and that no one in her town had ever been able to see past that? It was a lie for her to not tell him. She could so easily let the words slip past her tongue.

When I was a child, a fire took my ability to walk normally, and no one had been able to see past that. Just say it, she told herself. Rip the horrible feeling off and let him know the truth. Why couldn’t she just say the words?

Instead, she shook her head. “I don’t know how you haven’t guessed yet.”

It was the wrong thing to say. His eyes shuttered, and that darkness that she saw sometimes reared its ugly head. “Ah, I see.”

“What do you see?” She felt as if she’d lost control over the conversation all of a sudden. He’d jumped to conclusions, and that wasn’t right. It wasn’t that she didn’t like him.

Katherine had seen a different side of the monster, but she couldn’t forget all the wounds she’d healed and all the terrible things he’d done to so many people. She’d pieced them together. Stitching that skin as though it were a quilt for her to fix, and into those stitches, she had poured her anger and her rage.

At him. Everyone in this kingdom was always so mad at him.

Her heart broke for the man she had seen so many times, and the monster reflected in his eyes. Maybe that was why she stayed. Less because she wanted to be a martyr, and more because she’d been so tired of it all.

Katherine had really expected to stomp up here, tell him to go shove it, and then likely die for it. But what kind of life had she lived before this? What adventure had ever come into her world?

Reaching out, she cupped his jaw in her hand and felt him stiffen, freeze, and then slowly turn into her touch. “You have a bigger heart than I expected, Gluttony.”

“Ah, but you have seen the monster as well.” He ghosted his lips over her palm and then stood. “You, more than anyone else, are aware of what I am, Kat.”

And as he walked out of her room, his shoulders curved in and with the bandages clutched in his fists, she whispered, “I’m not so sure I know who you are at all, Gluttony.”