Chapter 11

11

T he futures of others were always so enjoyable. But even the bad ones were somewhat enjoyable, because Lilith wasn't herself. She wasn't the oracle that everyone wanted to use and abuse. Instead, right now, she was a servant of the demon king.

She'd lived on her own for a very long time. Everyone she loved died a long time ago. They fell to a sickness that had swept through the city, and they didn't make it before the demon king had strode through the streets.

But she had been alive. She'd seen him walk through crowds of people with potions in his hands and a glow around him that made him look angelic.

Everyone had been so afraid of what he would do. He had come to make them all suffer, surely. Perhaps he'd created the sickness so he could weed out those who were natural born healers and then steal their powers from them. No one trusted he was here to help them.

She hadn't been afraid of him, though. She'd seen the way he strode through the crowds and she'd known that he wanted to help them. He had given her the potion that had saved her life, and all she had thought was that he was handsome. That strong jaw had flexed as he looked above her head, watching the crowds of people that came toward him, and she saw how he pitied them.

In that moment, she knew what other people did not. She knew that the loss of her family affected him. He was saddened by what he saw in front of him and that he hadn't been there sooner.

He was their savior.

And she would do anything for him.

The future barreled toward her though, ever unstoppable. Lilith knew this woman would work for the demon king. She'd spent many years after that first encounter, knowing that she would dedicate her life to him if he ever asked.

The woman had agreed to work for him and serve an oracle who would terrify her. Lilith saw herself through the woman's eyes, foaming at the mouth and locked in visions. But more than that, she felt how the mist was viewed as something horrific. As though the future was not what this woman wanted.

And still, Lilith couldn't stop the prophecy from spilling off her tongue.

The woman worshiped Envy, but if she stayed in his employ, she would realize how ruthless this demon king was. The obsession she had with this dangerous man would lead her into unhealthy places. She would give up everything that she was for him to just look at her, and even then, he would not care. Not enough that she would ever feel fulfilled.

The longer she was in this castle, the farther she strayed from a potential future that was better, more welcoming. If the woman left the demon king's castle and walked back to the life she had left behind, she would meet a young man who had been in love with her for years.

Lilith saw soft brown eyes, hands that were tender and kind. She saw many warm nights by a fire where they told each other about their day. No children, but that didn't matter to either of them. They had found each other later in life, and all they needed was each other.

If this woman did not return to her home and this man with the kind hands and soft eyes, then she would die alone. Here in the castle. All by herself, without a single person to mourn her leaving this realm.

Her power stretched, turning to the other maid, who was so much younger.

She had lived a life in the city, feeling as though she was infinitely powerful and strong. She had a lot of bravado for someone who had grown up on the streets. But then again, she had also been a whore.

Men looked at her with lust and desire. They coveted her body, her touch, and all the sounds she made. Lilith could feel her body burning with all the feelings inside her. She'd never seen the future or the past of someone who had been so sexual. Some part of her wanted to linger on the memories. But that felt like she was in the wrong person's body, experiencing pleasure that she was stealing rather than feeling for herself.

Lilith zoomed through the woman's memories, trying to get to the future so she didn't have to feel this strange way. She didn't like the feelings in her body that were inspired by all that flesh and slapping sounds and guttural moans in her ear.

And she wanted to stop thinking about the power it had given the woman. A whore might sell her body, but she also had complete control over every man that she'd serviced. This woman knew what they wanted. She wielded her body like a weapon, and they had given her countless jewels.

That was why she'd taken this job. She'd thought the demon king wanted her as a bedmate, and instead, she was serving an oracle who she hadn't realized was another woman.

The woman's emotions about that were conflicting. On one hand, she was relieved to no longer serve men. This would be a much easier job, and it would give her body the rest it needed. On the other, she was angry that this job wouldn't give her the amount of money that she had thought it would.

Her future, however, was murky. There were a lot of paths for her to walk down, and none of them ended well. It was hard for Lilith to say all of them, so the words started tripping over each other.

If she didn't run from the castle, she would die here. There was a cave in, and she would be crushed beneath the stones. No wait, the stones weren't rocks; they were bodies. Men who came here to visit with Envy, but they thought she was a gift for them. Or that wasn't entirely right, either. The men dissolved into water as she drowned in the rushing waves.

No matter how many futures she looked into, Lilith saw a tragic end in every single one. She wanted to find the good one. Everyone had a good end, no matter how many bad endings they had. She could find it if she just had a little more time. If she just pulled a little harder, pushed a little deeper, forced this woman's soul to show her that there was another path, no matter how determined it was to die.

She was vaguely aware of the sound of gasping. Then whimpering. Then a harsh voice telling a woman to be quiet.

She wasn't sure where those sounds came from, only that she was stuck in this woman's future and she couldn't get out of it.

A looming darkness beckoned to her, though. A darkness that was cool as the depths of the sea. A place where she could hide from the heat that boiled inside her body. She needed to rest. Or perhaps to hide for a little while, giving her mind somewhere to simply not exist.

She'd pushed herself too far, she realized. She'd always been able to tell the futures of many people, but now her mist was spread thin. Lilith wasn't even touching these women and seeing the future of someone who was far from her made everything ache.

Her bones weren't even in her body anymore. Or at least, that's what it felt like. As though she'd been flayed alive. Every nerve had been ripped out of her and exposed to the air.

She was only vaguely aware of arms underneath her. The power in her swelled again, reaching for someone who was touching her because that was so much better than having to stretch for the future. But this was the darkness. This was the blackness that her power didn't want to drown in. Not yet.

An order was barked somewhere near her. "How long does it take to find one man?"

A man?

They were bringing her more people to see the future of. That was good.

"Touch," she whispered through lips that felt dry and cracked. "I need touch."

She was trying to tell them to let her touch whoever walked through the door. It would be easier for everyone involved, because she could feel the pain those two women had felt when her power yanked at their future. She could make this better for everyone involved if he would just allow them to touch her.

Her power recoiled deeper into her body as he took her request the wrong way. This black hole of a person stroked a cool hand over her forehead, shushing her with a soothing rasp.

"Easy, oracle. I'm going to help you."

But he couldn't help her. Not unless he let her disappear into a future so she wasn't in so much pain. A future where she could think and breathe and...

Well, that cold hand was rather nice. Having someone else take care of her wasn't so bad, she decided. It felt nice to lean her heated forehead against his icy shoulder as his fingers ran through her hair. He whispered words she didn't hear, pressing them against her temple and into her hair as she descended into madness.

Here, at least, she was held in the safety of his grip. No one would rip her out of his arms. She knew that, even in this state.

He'd make everything better.

There was the sound of footsteps approaching, and her power reached for the newcomer. She couldn't stop herself. She had to see what was going to happen. Without her herb, she was a slave to her power that would rather risk her life than not see the future.

"What did you do to her?" a voice came, familiar in a way, but she'd never touched his future before.

And then she sank into the history of her own master. Lilith had always known he was a bad man. She'd seen what he had done to other performers who didn't do what he wanted, but she hadn't realized just how terrible of a person he was. He had killed, kidnapped, stolen, raped, all the things that no one should ever do in their lives. And he wasn't even sorry for it.

There was a grunt, then a growl. "Stop looking, girl."

She wasn't a girl. She was a woman with power that was far stronger than his own and if she wanted to look, she would look .

Tugging hard on his future, she watched it spill out in front of her.

Her old master was on his knees, staring up at a throne that Envy sat on. The demon king's broad thighs were flexed, his entire body tense with anger as he stared down at the circus master. He'd committed some grave sin, and yet, even then, he wasn't afraid of the demon who ran their kingdom.

"Kill me then," her master said with a laugh. "You will lose her to the visions."

Envy grinned, and then she saw the blade at her master's neck. It hovered behind him, unseen until the last second. "I don't need you for that, circus master. You are unnecessary in this story."

The blade drew across her master's throat, bright red and gleaming in the dying sunlight. It was a wave of red. Red that threatened to swallow her whole. It spilled out of his body in a wave, so overwhelming that she could feel it all over her hands. All over her body.

Death.

Her fault.

All of it.

She couldn't breathe. Couldn't get her emotions under control as she stared at the body that landed on the floor with a heavy thud and she knew he had died because of her. So many people had died because she couldn't save them and she was spiraling now. Her power stretching. Into the portal that Envy had conjured and out onto the streets there.

Her master had been visiting a brothel, it seemed. There were so many women and men here who she could save. Clients who were going to kill them in their sleep, lest anyone else touch their favorite courtesan. Some of them were going to be sold to the highest bidder, and those people were dangerous. Pawing at their skin and leaving bruises until they died.

"No," the word came at her temple, an order that made even the power in her freeze. "You will not wander from me, oracle."

She would, though. She had to. The people here needed her. They had seen her power, and they needed more from her.

"She needs this."

Lilith knew what her old master had produced. He held her life in his hands if he showed the demon king that she had an addiction to the herb that only he could grow. Of course, it was dangerous for anyone else to know that she had a limitation.

Whoever had that herb controlled the oracle. It was as simple as that.

Her life would be handed over to this demon. Already she relied on him for everything, but if he knew about that herb? It was all lost.

The deep voice rumbled next to her ear. "What is that?"

"Her medicine."

"And without it, she's like this?"

Lilith didn't need to see to know her old master had nodded. Her mind got lost a bit in another possible future where one of her fellow performers took over the circus and made their master perform, but she heard Envy's response.

"If she's like this without it, that is not medicine. It's a drug."

"They are the same thing, demon king. Without this, she is little more than a limp leech, seeking the next victim. Her power wants to see the future, and she cannot control her power. She needs to be controlled. This is the only thing that can control her."

She hated it. She hated that herb with every fiber of her being and yet, some part of her desperately wished they would stop talking and pour it down her throat.

Envy's hand shifted underneath her head, his chest muscles flexing as he moved.

"Make her drink it," her old master said, his voice disgusted. "It's not easy, sometimes. She'll fight you."

"This is wrong."

"No, it is a mercy. Look at her. Do you want her to stay in this state? Trust me, she doesn't leave it. I let her stay like this for two weeks once. It nearly killed her, and still, the power didn't let go. She gave me scars on my arms when I tried to make her drink." Her master tsked. "Still haven't gotten rid of those. The bitch's claws are sharp."

Envy's voice hardened. "You can go. And if you ever refer to her by that word again in my presence, I will make that future come true sooner than it has to."

"What? Calling her a bitch?"

Another low growl. "Try me one more time, circus master. I will make you drink your own blood while you die."

She could feel her master disappear into the ether. Perhaps there was a portal he walked through that the demon king had summoned, but then all she could focus on was that they were alone. There was only the darkness now for her to see.

And he was so gentle as he ran his finger over her lips. "You have to drink this."

She didn't want to. She wanted to escape just for a little while longer.

"Come on now, sweetheart. Open that pretty mouth for me."

She'd never be able to deny him, not when he spoke to her like that. So she opened her mouth and allowed the tea to slide down her throat as she sank into oblivion.