Chapter 33

ChapterThirty-Three

She wasn’t supposed to be here. Varya knew that there were other places for her to be right now. She could be out there, finding more artifacts. Hunting down beasts with Altan and his men. Getting water to the towns that needed it most. There were so many places for her to be right now, that needed her help, that needed someone.

And yet, she couldn’t drag herself out of the comfort of Greed’s bed. She stared up at the ceiling, watching the sunlight play through the fronds over her head. Every muscle in her body was so relaxed, so comfortable, so at ease. And she just couldn’t make herself get up.

Besides, she’d promised him. No more running. No more trying to hide who she was or what she wanted from him. And he’d so deliciously convinced her of that.

Still, there was a part of her that held back. She didn’t want to fall in love with him. But she had. Every inch of her wanted every inch of him, in whatever way she could get it. That didn’t mean it was right.

Her heart hurt even thinking about him. Because all he’d done, time and time again, was prove that he only thought about himself. Maybe about her now as well, but was that enough?

No. It wasn’t. Of course it wasn’t. She wanted him to care about this kingdom and the people in it. She wanted him to see that there were so many people he could help, and then she wanted him to choose to do that.

Of course, all of that was hard to see through the haze of pleasure he yanked over her head every time he touched her. And that was fine, too. She didn’t mind waking up like this, with her muscles feeling slightly overstretched and tender.

Still. There had to be some way for her to convince him that there was more than this. More out there. More that he could...

The door to the bedroom opened. Ivo stepped inside, a gown draped over his arm that was as yellow as a daffodil, then faded into the pink and lovely violets of a sunset at the hem. It was a beautiful dress, but it was the last thing she wanted to wear.

Without looking at her, he placed the dress over the back of a chair and then laid out the other pieces he’d brought with him. A necklace that had enough jewels to make a kingdom rich, earrings that looked so heavy they’d make her ears ache, and ten bangles that would decorate her wrists.

Too much. It was all too much.

Sighing, she sat up, clutching the emerald blankets to her chest as she looked over the offering Greed thought he had given her. “What is all this, then?”

“A dinner he’s requested you to join him at.” Ivo looked down at the clothes sadly, then back at her. “He’s going about this all wrong, isn’t he?”

“He is.”

“But you’ll stay this time?” He seemed almost hopeful.

“I don’t know.”

A flicker of hurt in his eyes made her heart sting. “He said you’d promised to stay this time. That you wouldn’t run and we wouldn’t have to track you down.”

Making sure the blanket was tightly wrapped around her waist, Varya padded over to his side and placed a hand on his arm. “I’m not running because I don’t like this place or the people in it. You see that, Ivo, don’t you? There’s just so many other people I can help.”

He nodded, but the little furrows between his brows made it seem like he didn’t quite understand. “Greed mentioned that you know... that I... Morag and I... That we’re...”

“Spirits,” she said for the poor, stuttering man. “You were spirits, you mean? You aren’t anymore. I look at you and I see so much more than just a spirit of loyalty.”

“It is still who I am at my core.”

She patted his shoulder one more time and then turned him toward the door. “Then turn your loyalty to more than just Greed. You have an entire kingdom who could use your help, Ivo. You and your sister could make a difference that stretches so much farther than your original master.”

A spark lit in him. She could almost feel the magic that glowed at his fingertips as he stood in front of her door, then squared his shoulders. “You think we can do that?”

“I think you can do anything you put your mind to.”

Then she closed the door and dressed herself like the good little doll she was. Varya’s movements were slightly wooden, aching as though she had been placed back in a prison she didn’t wish to be in. Greed had... Oh, he didn’t realize that what he was asking of her was wrong. And that was part of the problem, wasn’t it?

He wanted to keep her safe. He wanted to keep her, period. Varya had always wanted that, hadn’t she?

She’d wanted to be the person who just one man couldn’t keep his hands off of. She wanted him to be consumed by need for her, and that he’d do anything to keep her safe. She’d told herself countless times in her life that all she needed was one person. One. That’s all.

Now she had him, and it didn’t feel right. None of this was perfect, yet. What if it was never perfect? What if she was so broken by all these years of being on her own that she could never get what she wanted?

The dress coiled around her neck, flowing out from her waist like the petals of a flower. The gems sat heavy on her collarbone and chest, while the bangles felt like shackles around her wrists. She just wanted... something.

Damn it, how was she supposed to tell Greed what she wanted if she didn’t know the answer to that herself?

She made her way out of the room and down the stairs as Ivo guided her to a new glass bubble she’d never been in before. This wasn’t the ballroom. It was a much more intimate setting that was all readied with a small dinner, a much smaller table, and a smug-looking demon king waiting for her.

Just seeing him made her cheeks burn red, but she knew this was the only time she’d be able to pin him down. To tell him what she needed, and how it was going to happen around here.

If she didn’t force him to have this conversation, then they never would. She’d drown in his kisses and his touches and their shared needs and then wake up years later to realize that they didn’t even know each other. Or worse, that they’d never even tried.

Varya sat down and he poured her a glass of wine. Saying nothing. Just looking at her with those smoldering eyes as he licked his lips. And damn it, her mind had already gone down the same path his had. All it would take was a single movement on her part. Just a slight flick of her fingers and the tie at the back of her neck would crumble. This dress would slither down her body, pooling in her lap until she wore nothing but gems and gold. Just like he wanted.

She could see it in his heavy-lidded eyes and the way his finger carefully stroked the edge of his wine glass. He wanted her. She wanted him. He saw no problem in fucking their way through the years until they grew bored with each other.

Taking a deep breath, she folded her hands in her lap. “How was your day?”

He blinked at her. “My day?”

“Yes. How was your day?”

“I...” Again, he blinked at her, confusion spreading across his features. “Why do you want to know how my day was?”

“It’s a question people ask each other. We say what we did, how we felt during the day, who we saw.” Varya reached for food to put on her plate, but her mind didn’t recognize what it was that she touched. Were her hands shaking? They were, damn it.

Through all of this, Greed hadn’t moved. Nothing other than his eyelids. “My day was... fine.”

“That’s good.”

“How was...” He paused when her gaze flicked up at his in surprise, but then he finished the question. “How was your day?”

“It’s just starting. I slept in longer than I thought I would.”

Gods, this was awkward. They didn’t even know how to talk to each other! What was she doing?

Grinding her teeth, Varya tried not to stare down at her fingers twisting in her lap. She tried to look at anything but him. She was so afraid he’d realized she was hoping he would do something when he clearly had no intention of doing anything at all.

“Varya?” he asked, his voice low and quiet. Like he was trying to lure a wild animal closer. “What is all this about?”

She swallowed. “We don’t know each other.”

“I’d say we know each other quite well.”

Ah, there was the flash of anger she needed to get through this. “I don’t know anything about you,” she countered. “I don’t know where you came from, what your favorite food is, who you learned to fight from. Nothing. All I know is your favorite position and that you don’t know what’s going on in your kingdom at all. Neither of those are lasting qualities.”

“Lasting?”

“Yes, lasting.” She repeated the word, spitting it at him like that was the answer to all her problems. Hissing out a long breath, she finally looked at him. Angry now. So angry she could throw something at his face. “I don’t want to stay here if we don’t know each other. This is just using our bodies as a distraction, and that means, at some point, you’ll tire of me.”

Greed lifted a single brow. “You don’t want to stay here?”

“That’s not what I’m saying.” She’d be an idiot to not want to stay here, but she didn’t want to if he wasn’t... Oh, her thoughts. They were all so muddled. So she settled on, “I want to know who you are, Greed. I want you to know me. If we know each other then maybe this will all be a little... easier.”

That finger started moving again, stroking up and down the bowl of the glass in his hand. Tempting. Mesmerizing. “You think this is hard so far? I can tell you something that is hard, Varya, and it’s not our relationship.”

“You don’t want to know anything about me?” she asked, her brows furrowing in concentration and her heart already stuttering in her chest. “Do you really not care enough to have questions?”

He looked even more confused before that expression disappeared into heat. “I have questions. If you fear that I will no longer desire you, Varya, I promise that will take a very long time. There is much of you I have yet to taste.”

But that...

That wasn’t the point.

Her heart clenched so hard it hurt. Everything hurt at the words he used because he just... he didn’t understand. And she was suddenly so afraid that he couldn’t.

She wanted him to understand. She wanted him to want her and he’d led her to believe that he did. But now she wondered if he just wanted anyone, and she was the only person no one would notice if she disappeared for good.

“I’m not here to answer your boredom,” she muttered before standing. “I don’t think I’m very hungry.”

“Then we will skip to dessert,” he replied. That heat flashed in his eyes again, and he reached for her.

But she knew if he touched her, then she would break into a thousand pieces and he’d put her back together exactly how he wanted. She would not break this time. He didn’t deserve to touch her when she knew it was only for a few moments.

Because... Fuck. She loved him. And she wanted him to love her back, but that wouldn’t happen if he only saw her as a sexual object to please him.

So she flinched back from him. She watched as that anger clouded his expression and he reached for her again. This time she didn’t think, she just acted.

Varya grabbed her glass of wine and tossed it in his face. The red liquid dripped down his beard, ruining his lovely shirt, and she refused to feel guilty for it. He’d acted, so she’d done the same.

“Treasure,” he said, calm. Too calm. Slowly wiping the wine away from his eyes so he could glare at her. “What is all this about?”

“I’m not a toy,” she said, her voice wavering. She was so fragile right now, and she hated every moment of it. “I’m a person, Greed. You cannot lock me up in this castle thinking that you will be the only person to play with me and then degrade me into being less than a human being.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“You don’t care about me!” she shouted, and the words echoed through her mind. “You only want me for my body. Every time I try to ask to know more about you, all you want to do is fuck me. You think that is a way to get out of a conversation or to not talk about hard things. You can’t just... Do that!”

And there it was. In a garbled mess of words, there was her problem.

She wanted to talk to him about everything. She wanted a partner who saw the kingdom as a challenge to overcome and who would listen to her concerns. Not a man who every time there was a conversation that was even the slightest bit difficult, he reached for sex as a crutch. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t who she wanted to be.

So she stood there, holding herself hostage so that he would hear her.

But he didn’t.

He shook his head, taking a step back from her with a stunned expression on his face. “I am not a man of words, Varya. I never have been.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Desperate, she needed him to tell her something that would make this all okay.

But he lifted his hands and held them out to her. “This is how I speak, Varya. With my body. My actions. I cannot... I cannot do what you are asking of me. I need you to see me, just as much as you want me to hear you.”

And oh, it made her heart break.

This wouldn’t work. This couldn’t work, even though they both wanted it to be real. And it was so real. It hurt to look at him and know that he wasn’t capable of what she needed. Or wanted. Or...

Her mind was so jumbled. Rambling in her own head because she wanted to make this concession for him. She wanted to forfeit all that she’d dreamed of just so she could have him.

And was that wrong?

Was that the wrong choice?

The future she’d wanted turned to dust in front of her and all she could do was run. She made it to the door before his voice cracked like a whip and she froze with her hand on the door. “Remember, Varya. You vowed you would stay.”

She would. She was nothing without her word.

Nodding, still not looking at him, she slipped out of the room.

Ivo jumped in surprise from where he leaned against the wall, blinking as though he’d perhaps been dozing. “Varya! That was quick. Is there anything I can get you?”

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and saw the big man melt. Without asking a single question, he put his arm around her shoulders and tugged her in close. “It’s all right, little one. It’s all going to be all right.”

The first sob was ugly. It rocked through her body, too loud, loud enough that Greed surely heard her. And she shouldn’t feel bad about that, but she did.

Varya forcibly pulled herself together, only taking a few seconds of relief in the hug that Ivo offered before taking a big step back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t...”

He lifted a hand. “You may do as you wish, Varya. But perhaps I might suggest an evening with my sister instead?”

“I don’t want anyone else to touch me.”

“Oh, she won’t. But her blade might.” He smiled at her surprised face before holding out his arm in the direction he wanted her to go. “Fight, Varya. Perhaps that will fix everything.”

And that sounded good right about now. Or, if not good, the best she was going to get.