Chapter 40

ChapterForty

She hated to lie. Especially when that lie was for him.

Selene knew there was only so much time she had left. The curse Minerva had struck her with was an unfamiliar one, and that meant there was very little she could do to prevent it from growing stronger.

Already she could feel it underneath her skin. It slithered like snakes, thick and rolling inside her, so they made it hard to sleep. All she could think about was the vile nature of them, consuming her as they moved slowly throughout her body. Spreading until they would all strike as one, and then she would know what it felt like to die.

It was not a comfortable death. Nor a quick one. The same death that Minerva had promised her enemies time and time again. Hadn’t Selene listened to her rants more than any other sorceress?

She’d been Minerva’s closest daughter. Her mother had trained her from the very first moment that she remembered, and likely before that. As Lust had said when he first saw her, Selene was her puppet.

And once those strings were cut, Minerva had no more use for her.

The only way to live and get out of this situation once and for all wasn’t to waste time trying to figure out how to break a curse that could not be broken. It was time to go home. To beg her mother’s forgiveness and to prostrate herself on the cold stone floors of the Tower.

It took a bit of finagling to figure it out. Lara had been particularly helpful. She’d originally thought the other woman would only give her the servant’s map of the castle to get rid of her. Without Selene, Lara could slip back into his favored position.

Now she suspected a second explanation. Lara didn’t love him, and she didn’t want Lust in her life any more than she wanted any other. But her daughter needed looking after, and she had more family back home that required payments from her every month, so they didn’t die. And Lara was the only one working. Being in the favor of the king certainly helped with all those matters.

Selene didn’t blame her for trying her best to survive. Wasn’t that what they were all doing?

Map in hand, then she only had to distract Lust so she could slip away. Lara had offered her a warm cloak, and Selene didn’t think there was much else she’d bring. It was all too easy.

Selene barricaded their door for a night, though keeping him out proved to be very difficult.

They argued through the door for hours. Lust grew more and more angry before all of that emotion seemed to seep out of him.

“I don’t know how many more nights you have,” he whispered through the door. The sound of his voice was wrong. Broken. “I won’t waste a single one of them.”

Perhaps he gave up at that moment. He said nothing else after that. But she could only imagine the thoughts running through his head. She fed his fears while keeping him away from her. Selene didn’t need or want him anymore, and wasn’t that what she had said to him so many times?

Except she did.

She needed him more than she wanted to admit, and it hurt to her very core to do what she had to do. Tears burned her eyes until she couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted to throw all those emotions back underneath the magic she’d always used as a crutch and never think about them again.

But then she remembered him. She remembered how Lust had begged her to feel those emotions and she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t tuck them away when he would want her to feel.

And so she felt them throughout the entire night and into the early morning. Until the silence on the other side of the door finally let her know he had gotten up and left her alone.

Now was her moment. She had to sneak out through the servant’s quarters and through the hidden corridors in the walls.

Selene opened the door with a creak, peeking outside her room to make sure Lust wasn’t leaning against the wall like he’d done all those months ago.

He wasn’t. No one waited for her. Perhaps he’d gone to get her breakfast, or hidden himself back in the library where he thought he might find a secret about her malady.

Her fingers trailed over the door as she stepped outside, and they sank into deep grooves in the wood. She let her fingers linger in the marks left by his horns where he had slid down the door, and then twin indents where he’d likely pressed them so hard that they’d left two perfect holes. Exactly where his head must have been as he leaned there, hoping she’d let him in.

“Oh, Lust,” she whispered sadly. “I’m so sorry.”

And then she fled. Like the coward she was, she ran through the hall to the painting that shifted easily under her hand. She moved through the servant’s hidden passages, all as clean and glistening as the rest of the castle.

She didn’t notice any of the details. Tears burned in her eyes and turned her vision blurry. Her mind scattered with the thoughts of what he would do and feel when he realized she was missing, not just ignoring him.

He’d come for her. She knew he would. But Minerva had made it very clear that she would disappear if their home was ever compromised. There were secrets in this kingdom that even Lust didn’t know. Caverns and caves and merchant paths to other kingdoms. They would flee somewhere he’d never find them.

Swallowing hard, she slipped out of the last room and into the gardens. She pulled her hood up over her head so she’d appear to be another servant moving about their day. Perhaps one who had been here all night and now struggled back to their home to sleep.

But as she stepped out of the shadows and into the light, a hand wrapped around her shoulder and jerked her back into the darkness.

Not back into the castle, as she’d have expected. Instead, she was dragged around the edge of it until she stood dangerously close to open air. The man who had her in his grip slammed her back against the stone walls, his forearm braced over her neck.

Wheezing, she stared up into the golden gaze of Greed.

He glared down at her, and she realized that though she had perhaps seen him annoyed, until this point she had never seen him angry. With his brows furrowed, his arm pressing against her windpipe as though he couldn’t quite stop himself from causing pain, she realized he was far more dangerous than his brother.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he snarled.

“Leaving,” she ground out through a sharp exhale.

“And does my brother know? Or are you sneaking away before he can tell you otherwise?” The arm pressed even harder, threatening to break something important. “Don’t answer that. I think I already know. Now, I’m going to bring you back inside that castle, throw you at his feet, and you are going to beg for his forgiveness. Sound good?”

He started to move away from her, but Selene could not let him ruin this. She stepped to the side, jabbed him hard in the throat, and then stepped closer to the edge.

Greed froze, eyeing her with perhaps a new found respect. He seemed to understand that she would throw herself off the cliff if he moved too close, and that she wouldn’t hesitate to do so.

“I’m dying,” she said, her voice raspy from his attack.

“I know. He told me.” Greed rolled his shoulders. “It was hard to miss. He had torn the library apart.”

Stones skittered from behind her heel. She froze at the same moment Greed flinched forward. His hand floated between them, just close enough that she could grab onto him if she needed to. But she got her balance and straightened.

Breathing hard, she shook her head. “I can’t stay here.”

“He’s determined to fix you. And whether you want to stay here or not, I don’t care. You have done something to him, something that I don’t think can be fixed. You have no choice now. You have to stay.” Greed’s eyes flashed like coins in sunlight. “Even if I want to keep you for myself.”

“Ew,” she hissed. “And if you think I’ve made some impact on his life, let me clarify something. Would he be better off thinking I’m alive and dealing with the loss of me, than watching me die in front of him and knowing he’ll never get me back?”

A flicker of reality played behind Greed’s eyes. He seemed to understand what she meant, and the difficult choice she had to make.

But Selene needed to know he understood. Completely. “If I could stay, I would. This curse is not going away. I cannot break it and neither can he. The best option I have of surviving this is to return to the White Tower and pray that my mother sees fit to cast some pity upon me. He will not let me return, because he knows if I go back, they will not let me go.” Her voice choked with emotion and she had to shake her head to clear it. “Don’t make him watch me die.”

Greed swallowed hard, his throat working through some unnamed emotion that he shouldn’t be able to feel. “I don’t think you understand what you’ve done to him.”

“Exactly what he’s done to me,” she whispered. “I know we carved each other apart and laid a piece of ourselves into those wounds. I know he thinks that we’ve changed each other. And maybe we have. But I will not let him sit there and watch me die knowing that he can do nothing. I can’t feel the guilt for that while trying to save my own life.”

Again he reached for her, shaking his hand as though he wanted her to take it. “You have underestimated your king. If anyone can fix you, it is him. Just give him enough time to do so.”

“Don’t make me choose between him and my life.” Tears slid down her cheeks, the drops warm and burning against her skin. “Don’t force me to make that decision, Greed.”

“Because you would choose yourself?” He straightened and relief filtered across his face. “Perhaps this is not the situation I suspected it to be.”

“Because I will die in his arms if I have to.” Her voice sounded wrong. Thick and choked with emotion when she had never been an emotional person. “I am making this choice for both of us, don’t you see? If I choose to leave, if I succeed in putting this castle and all that happened within it behind me, then I die alone. Or if I somehow don’t die and the High Sorceress lets me live, then I will suffer with this choice for the rest of my life. He can move on. He can go back to normal and find some semblance of happiness while I...” She sniffed hard. “While I live with the guilt. I will shoulder the burden so he doesn’t have to.”

His shoulders rounded forward in defeat. “You feel something for him.”

“I love him.” Selene blurted the words even as more stones shattered beneath her heel and tumbled into the darkness below. She had thought letting those words flee from her lips would make all this worse. As if by giving them life, she was admitting to herself that she could choose to leave the man she loved. Like a monster.

But they didn’t make her feel worse. They gave her life itself. She felt more powerful, more ready to take on this decision because it was what was best for him. She would never question that again.

Gulping, she met his shocked gaze and nodded again. “I love him. So much that it hurts sometimes because I know he’ll never feel the same. And I don’t love him like the rest of his subjects. I actually know him. We trust each other. I’ve seen him smile and laugh. I’ve seen him grow and change as I barged into his life and changed everything. And I loved him before all that. I will love him in whatever form he takes, whatever changes he accepts, whatever monster he becomes. I will love him. Until the darkness beneath us devours this kingdom and all who are in it.”

Her chest felt heavy with the words. She loved him. She could admit it now, and that hurt. Because she’d never say it to his face, but at least someone would know.

Greed grunted and took his hand away from her. “I should throw you over the edge. Maybe that would end this foolish mistake.”

“Maybe.” She braced for the shove. “We both know I’m going to die, anyway. If you want to end it sooner, I wouldn’t blame you.”

He snarled, baring sharp teeth and lunging for her. Selene let her eyes flutter closed because she didn’t want to see the kingdom recede from her view. She wanted to remember it as glittering and glowing and beautiful.

But Greed’s arm wrapped around her waist and yanked her against him. Her eyes flew open to see the small ledge she’d stood on crumble into the darkness. He’d... saved her?

Her back was pressed against his impressively large chest. Heaving breaths rocked her forward and back and a soft, furry something tickled her forearm. Looking down, she realized he’d even wrapped his tail around her waist as a last precaution. The tuft at the top was gently stroking her arm.

“Thanks,” she whispered, her breath still hard to catch. “That would have been bad.”

“I should have let you die.”

“Probably. But at least now you won’t have that on your head, as well as the knowledge that you let me go.” She patted his thick forearm. “And you’re going to let me go. Aren’t you, Greed?”

His breath blew her hair like she’d turned her back on a raging bull. “Probably,” he echoed her. “You’re going to the Tower, you said?”

She didn’t like him touching her. It felt like someone had thrown her into the arms of a giant. “That’s my best shot. I think Minerva will receive me if Lust isn’t there.”

“What are your chances of her punishing you?”

“High.” Selene shrugged. “But I’m already dying. She can’t do anything more to me that the curse won’t do. And I am her daughter. I’m hoping that after years of raising me, she’ll have some ounce of humanity left inside her. My sisters will fight for me as well, I think.”

“You think?”

“They wanted me to eat dinner with them?”

Greed growled. “That’s not high praise.”

“Not really, but it’s something.” Selene wiggled, trying to get free. “If you aren’t going to stop me, I need to get going. Lust will realize that I’m gone, and he’ll lock me up. I already explained myself well enough for you to understand why I’m doing this. So let me go, Greed. Or drag me back to his feet like you said you would.”

Grumbling, he released his hold on her and then speared his hand through his hair. She stared at the red locks that spiked straight up from his head. What was he thinking? Was he going to let her go? If so, she needed to run. She needed to get out of here before she lost her nerve.

Baring his teeth, Greed pointed at her. “You are not going to the Tower by yourself. You’ll die before you get there.”

“I’m not that sick.” But the snakes were crawling under her skin. She could feel them, even now. They would slow her and he had a point. She wouldn’t get far on her own.

“You’ll take one of my guards,” he snarled. “They’ll get you there safely and then return to me. I’m not keeping this a secret from my brother, sorceress. He will know where you went when my guard returns. But I will give you that much time to run.”

It was more than she’d hoped for.

Selene nodded. “Then hurry. I have little time to wait.”

Though she had thought the words were sobering, Greed flashed her a dark grin. “The jaws of death nip at your heels, sorceress. Outrun them.”