Chapter 38

ChapterThirty-Eight

She’d thought she would be prepared for this. Selene had known that there was a good chance her family wouldn’t want her there. Denying her mother of the one thing she wanted, control, was another good reason for them all to leave her behind.

But she’d still thought that at least someone would stand up for her. Someone would care enough to at least say goodbye, even if Minerva didn’t want them to.

None of them had.

She’d walked out of the Tower with Lust’s hand on her back. He practically vibrated with anger, a hulking monster who stood behind her while he fought to control his own rage. It was terrifying and fearsome, and she had no idea what to do with him.

He had cared about her enough to come back. But he’d also been the one who caused this issue. If it weren’t for him, she could have stayed. She’d never have become this person who wanted to see more of the world. She’d never have wanted to become someone else.

And that... hurt.

Everything hurt. Her heart. Her mind. Her soul.

The carriage ride back to the castle—only a few days after they’d departed—was much different. This journey was quiet. She kept her tongue laced within her mouth for fear of crying. And every time she looked at him, it was as if the demon king was barely holding himself together.

Again and again her mind went back to that moment when he and her mother had looked at each other and some dark knowledge had passed between them. They shared some dangerous information. Information about Selene that neither of them had told her.

Her heart twisted every time she thought of it. Selene just wanted one person to trust in this world. How had she been so foolish as to fall back into that desire? She’d learned a long time ago women like her didn’t get to hope for someone to be a white knight or an armored prince coming to save the day.

She had to save herself. Because no one else would do it for her.

In too short of a time, the carriage rolled up to the castle. She gathered up the shredded pieces of her dignity and folded them around her body like a shield. No one would know she was upset. No one in this castle would think anything beyond wondering why her expression had hardened into a mask.

A crew of people stood at the ready, waiting for the order from their king. Selene was thrown back to the moment she’d arrived, when they were all shocked to see him leave the carriage with a woman. And yet, this time, they actually looked at her. Not with curiosity or surprise, but concern the moment they realized she was not quite herself.

These people barely knew her. And they were more concerned for her wellbeing than her own family.

Looking around, Selene realized they’d always been more concerned for her. They’d always wanted to welcome her into their home with warm arms. She’d been the one to deny them that, and eventually, even the kindest person would give up.

This was all her fault.

All of it.

Swallowing hard, she shoved all those emotions down until she felt nothing. She was nothing. Just an empty vessel without a soul.

It was suddenly overwhelming to have so many eyes on her. Even if they were concerned or caring, none of those eyes were what she wanted. She didn’t want anyone to realize that she was struggling or to know that her entire world had flipped upside down and she felt like a broken doll tossed aside by a child who no longer needed it.

Her eyes locked on Greed as he sauntered down the steps. His handsome face had curved into a devious smile, and his tail flicked behind him with obvious aggression.

“You’re home early,” he called out. “Did you finally see reason and realize those sorceresses are nothing more than puppeteers?”

“Greed,” Lust snarled behind her, and a wall of heat pressed against her back. “Now is not the time.”

“Not the time for the truth? There’s always time for that.”

“You’re thoughtless with your words,” Lust snarled. “Neither of us are entertained by your blind idiocy.”

A small wrinkle appeared between Greed’s eyes, and it was the first time she’d ever seen him frown. “You’re testy today. Why? What happened?”

Lust didn’t let anyone else question her. He used his body to physically move her up the steps, forcing her beyond the others and through the great hall. The pools of water rippled as they hurried past. And then she was in his arms.

He’d scooped her up, turning her face to his chest and holding her legs around his waist with one arm underneath her bottom. He hurried up the stairs, ignoring the startled gasps and whispered rumors that had already started.

She wasn’t even sure how he’d carried her with all the folds of fabric between them, but he did. And the warmth of his body soaked into hers. Trembles started, and she shoved those emotions down too. Over and over again until they were in their bedroom and she didn’t know how they’d gotten there.

His heavy boots struck the floor in a harsh staccato as he strode toward their bed, spun around, and then sat on the edge with her in his lap. He banded his arms around her, too tight, squeezing the air out of her lungs as though he needed the comfort as well.

With a soft sigh, Lust buried his face in the side of her neck and pressed a single kiss to her throat. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” Even her voice sounded wrong.

“You’re fine?” he snarled, lifting his head to glare into her eyes. “You aren’t fine, Selene. I can see it in your face.”

No, he couldn’t. She had no expression at all, and she knew it. The numbness was spreading down to her fingers, and she had the dull thought that maybe she was hurting herself. Maybe she was using her power too much.

What if she couldn’t ever feel again? Would that really be so bad?

His gaze searched hers, and then hardened. Apparently, he’d seen something he didn’t like. “You’re doing it again, aren’t you?”

“Doing what?”

He cupped the back of her neck, forcing her to not hide from him. “Feel it, Selene. You have to feel it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The tips of his fingers turned into claws, pressed against the sensitive sides of her neck. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. They didn’t want you, Selene, and that’s bound to hurt. Avoiding it will only make it worse later. You are not cold and you are not empty. You are not whatever they made you believe that you are.”

Though she still couldn’t feel the emotions, a single tear tracked down her cheek. Warm and wrong and oh so weak. “I don’t want to feel any of that.”

“But you have to.” He smoothed the tear away with his thumb. “You have to feel it, little moon, so you don’t forget it. They were wrong for what they did. You didn’t ask them to give you up. You didn’t ask for them to make you feel unwanted.”

The ice in her heart cracked. It hurt. Zings of emotions rolled through her as more tears tracked down her cheeks. “I’m afraid they were right. No one has ever wanted me, and I’m so afraid that no one ever will.”

His hands spasmed against her back, and his jaw tightened. She watched something flip over inside him, like she’d stuck a knife in his very heart.

“You think I don’t want you?” he asked, his hand shifting down her back. Pops of fabric followed his movement as her bodice slowly gave to the sharp claws growing larger on his hands. “I’m not a man of words, little moon, but I will show you just how needed you are.”

Her heart stuttered in her chest. An answering rush flooded between her legs because yes, she needed this, she needed to forget for a little while. And he could help her forget.

Selene wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. She poured all her emotions into him and he took them without complaint. He gathered her up in his arms, standing as her dress fell away from her.

“I won’t be gentle,” he said against her lips. “I’m not making love to you.”

A pang of pain rocked through her. “I know.”

He never would. She knew that. They both knew he could feel nothing beyond lust, and that was all right. She’d take what she could get.

He turned her in his arms, standing her in front of the full-length mirror. She was entirely naked in the arms of a demon, and he looked like one. The curved horns on top of his head jutted toward the ceiling. The sharp features of his face were cast with shadows across hard angles. Every part of him seemed larger, more immense, making her appear even smaller in his arms.

Lust trailed his hand between her breasts, flattening his palm on her stomach as he cupped her jaw with the other hand. He forced her to look into her own eyes in the mirror.

“I need you,” he growled, his voice low and echoing in her ear. “Your biting wit. Your insults. Your laughter. I need your heart that beats for the people of this kingdom. I do not want you, Selene. I need you. And I will stop at nothing to have you.”

He bit down on her neck. His hands roved over her body, squeezing her breasts, delving between her legs. His groan echoed as he found her wet was nearly enough to send her to her knees.

“You want a distraction, Selene, and I will give you one. You trust me, and now we’re going to test that trust.”

And though the words made her throat feel like it was closing, she nodded.

Lust moved past her and pulled out a bundle of ropes from one of his drawers. They looked similar to the ones he’d used to create the dress for her, but now she had a feeling it would be for a very different purpose.

He unraveled them, taking his time as he explained what he was going to do.

“We’ll start easy. No need to scare you. But you’ll put your entire trust in me, in the ropes, that neither of us will drop you. Do you understand?”

Again, she nodded. It felt impossible to speak.

Lust rounded behind her and looped the ropes over one of her shoulders, twisting them between her breasts before he flung it over her other shoulder. As he wound them underneath her breasts, safely around her ribs until she was presented to him with rope twisting around each globe, he whispered compliments against her skin.

“You’re so good,” he breathed against her neck as he finished tying around her chest. “You’re so beautiful like this.”

Heart racing, she said nothing as he bent in front of her and started winding another rope around her thigh. Twin circles that bit into her flesh as he tightened them a little too tight.

He stared up her body, holding onto the ends of that rope with both hands. “You once asked me why I wore the corsets, and I said it’s because I enjoyed the pain. There will be some pain with this, but not enough to scare you. Not my little moon.”

“How bad?”

“Only enough to leave a few marks. The same as a corset.”

Lust flicked his gaze to the ceiling. Selene glanced in that direction and noticed hooks that she’d never seen before. And as she watched, he threw the ropes over each one. Secure, safe, held in his hands.

But then he pulled on the rope attached to her thigh and lifted her leg. “Look at you,” he whispered against her neck, securing the rope to the bed frame and then circling behind her. “So pretty and wet. Perfect for me.”

Selene didn’t recognize herself in the mirror. The red flush on her cheeks had spread down her neck and chest. Her breath rattled as she waited for him to do whatever he wanted to her. This wasn’t the Selene she knew and maybe, just maybe, that was all right.

“You’re going to take me like the good girl you are,” he said gruffly. “And you’re going to forget everything. I can give you that.”

She leaned her weight against his chest, hearing his belt hit the floor and then feeling the hard flesh of him, warm and overheated, pressing against her entrance.

He hadn’t lied. This wouldn’t be a long, slow seduction. Not like the first time.

He pushed inside her, only wedging himself in halfway before he withdrew. With each movement, he rocked himself deeper. Easing further and further until she was too full, too sensitive, too much.

With her head against his shoulder, she watched the way his jaw clenched as he maintained control over himself. He stared at them, at their reflection, as though he’d never seen anything more perfect.

The other rope was still in his hand, and slowly he tugged it. Her foot dangled above the ground, just on tiptoe if she wanted to hold onto that control. But she didn’t. She trusted him.

Lust grabbed her throat, tilting her head so she could look nowhere else but their reflection. At the way his hand ringed her neck, her knee hooked over his elbow, the slow glide of his cock slipping into her pussy. Back and forth, in and out, it was almost too much. More than she could take in this moment when she felt so breakable.

The ropes bit into her thigh as she struggled to free herself for a moment before letting him take control again. She wanted to do something other than hang here, completely at his mercy. She needed…

Him.

That’s all she needed.

“Look at me, Selene.” He moved his hand from her throat, and she couldn’t stop herself from watching it glide down her body.

Fingers touched her sensitive clit, and she hissed out a long breath as he started slow, deliberate circles. A low groan ripped out of her throat.

“That’s it,” he said. “I want to hear you.”

She tilted her hips, and he hit a spot inside her that she hadn’t known existed. Selene threw her head back, mouth open on a string of moans that grew louder with each long, languid stroke. His fingers... she needed to tell him to... Yes, that. Harder, more intent, deliberate.

He played her body like an instrument he’d mastered. The orgasm hit her hard, rocking through her body as she saw stars.

“Good girl,” he growled in her ear. “Now we can start.”

Start? Hadn’t they already?

He slammed into her so hard her orgasm didn’t have a chance to stop. He prolonged it with his movements, pounding into her as he stretched her legs even wider. Suddenly she was tighter, clamping down on him as another orgasm chased the first.

The ropes dug deeper into her skin, never hurting or tearing but enough to remind her that she was suspended from the ceiling. They bit around her breasts. Their rough texture turned her thigh red around them.

Hot breath played down her neck to her sensitive breasts. She wanted to touch them, but the only thing she could do was hold on to him as he lifted her weight in his arms. She had nothing to hold but him, and her world shifted on its axis.

A third orgasm chased the others, impossible to consider that she’d come so many times in such a short amount of time, but she had underestimated a spirit of lust.

If he wanted her to come, she would come.

Letting out a keening cry, she arched into him the exact moment he shoved into her as deep as he could go. His teeth clamped down on her neck and they both groaned into each other.

She could feel his cock pulsing, and his seed already dripping down her legs. She was overheated, and somehow still not close enough to him.

He unraveled the ropes from her body slowly. Taking his time with her so she could see the red marks left there, the welts that looked exactly like ones the corset had left on him.

They didn’t hurt, so much as heighten the feeling of her being completely and utterly owned. She felt blood rushing to the areas the ropes had restricted. She felt the clench of her aching pussy and how much she wanted him back inside her. The rush of sensation and emotions was exquisite.

Pressing another kiss to her neck, he cleared his throat and whispered against her skin, “I have spent my entire life in service to others. Giving them what they want so that I could experience their pleasure. I have wanted for nothing. I have been given a kingdom, a castle, servants, and countless partners throughout the centuries. And I have never wanted anything more than I want you. You make me whole, Selene.”

And that was all it took.

The final layer of ice inside her shattered like a broken mirror. The shards embedded themselves throughout her body, but this time, Selene did not run from them. She didn’t run from him.

She turned in his arms as the tears fell and he gathered her up against his heart. Carefully. So gently. Like he knew how breakable she was.

Lust lifted her and carried them both to the bed. He got underneath the covers with her, holding her as close as he possibly could as she cried for the family she should have had. The family she could have been given. And for all the opportunities she’d missed to make a better one herself.

It took a long time for her to feel everything again, as he’d told her to do. But once she had emptied herself of all that emotion, she felt better.

Selene realized he traced his fingers over the red marks on her thighs. Lust dragged his touch up her sides to the ones just underneath her breasts, gently trailing along them like she had done to him.

As she slid into sleep, draped across his chest, she whispered, “I need you too, Lust.”

“I know.”

“Not because I want you, or for anything you give me.” She pressed a kiss over his heart. “I lo... I like you for who you are, Lust. I think you’re a good person underneath all that flash and ridiculous glitter.”

Seven kingdoms, she’d almost admitted how strong her feelings for him had become. She hoped he didn’t notice the almost slip of her tongue. But then again... Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.