Chapter 28

ChapterTwenty-Eight

Selene hated how twisted her heart was now. She wanted to let go and allow him to... what? To enjoy her body the way she wished him to? That was silly. She didn’t have it in her to give in to a man she had assumed was a demon her entire life.

And there was the added layer of her family to add to this mix. They thought him demonic as well, as they had sent her here to betray him.

Surely she couldn’t ignore all that? Years and years of living with them, owing them her life, knowing that her sisters and her mother were the only people there for her. Even the townsfolk wanted nothing to do with sorceresses. That was why they left their children on the front steps year after year.

Just like Minerva said. Sorceresses were the forgotten, the unwanted, and the powerful. Their parents had good reason to leave them on the steps of the Tower. They were too dangerous to be with the others, no matter how small their magic was. And the people would never accept them for who they were.

If Selene had stayed with her parents, she likely wouldn’t even be alive.

She paused by a dahlia and traced her finger over the many petals. She’d lived her entire life knowing that her own parents feared her. That the minor act of conjuring light was enough for them to think she was too dangerous to raise on their own.

That guilt had walked beside her for her entire life. And Minerva had never let her forget it. Her sisters hadn’t either. They all lived with the knowledge that they were unwanted, impossible to love, and that all they had was each other.

But what if all that was wrong? Lust had made it seem like he wanted her last night. He’d touched her like a man who desired a woman, and the look in his eyes had been more than just physical desire.

He’d made her feel wanted, and that was the cruelest part of all this. What if he really did want her? What if he wanted to know more about her, and to have her trust him because he was interested in her and no one else?

She’d give him anything if that was true. Even her soul.

The thought terrified her. She didn’t know how to act around someone who could take so much from her with only a simple request. If she wasn’t careful, she’d end up like all the others. Nothing more than a slave at his feet, begging for attention that he couldn’t deign to give her.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Affection’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

Selene glanced up with a bright smile. “I haven’t visited the gardens yet. There aren’t any in the Tower. We get our food from the villages, so I never got to see plants like this unless we were traveling.”

“And I take it you don’t travel very often.”

The little spirit was larger yet again, but this time, she didn’t mention it. Instead, she crouched down and met its gaze eye to eye. “No, we did not travel very often.”

“Lust would travel with you if you’d like. He enjoys going throughout the kingdom to all the villages.”

A small spark of jealousy churned in her belly. Oh, she knew how much he enjoyed going out into the kingdom. He’d become a legend year after year for indulging himself in every pretty woman or man that the town threw at him. In fact, she was quite certain that he’d done exactly that even after they met.

Selene had no right to be jealous. He was a god to many of the people who lived here, and their king. If he wanted to go out and find whatever pleasure he wanted in the bodies of countless women, then there was nothing she could say to stop him. Nor should she. It wasn’t her place.

A nasty voice whispered in her mind, “You aren’t his queen.”

Because she wasn’t. He’d never intended to make her so and honestly, she’d never thought he would either. Lust had a kingdom all of his own, and no reason to add a queen to that. Not in the slightest.

Sighing, she trailed her fingers through her hair and tried to not pull the locks out by the root. She turned and started down the nearest garden row. Perhaps the repetitive motion of her feet would help the strange emotions that threatened to swell over her head. Or maybe the feeling of the plants trailing along her sides would distract her. Unfortunately, it was rather hard to find that distraction when a certain spirit didn’t want to let it go.

“Why did that make you sad?”

“I thought you were affection only? Shouldn’t you be more attuned to that emotion rather than sadness?”

“I still know what you’re feeling,” the spirit grumbled. “Traveling is something you love. You have a lot of fond memories about travel and how many people you’d met during those adventures. So why does the thought of going with Lust make you sad?”

She had no intention of answering that question. She opened her mouth to say just that before they were both interrupted by a voice overhead. “Yes, Selene. Why does the thought of traveling with me turn your stomach?”

She looked up and found Lust leaning much too far over a railing above her head. The light glittered through his hair and turned his lovely features into melted gold. Even his horns were sparkling this morning and she didn’t remember him putting glitter on them.

Sighing, she waved a hand in the air. “What are you doing up there?”

“Spying.”

“Why?”

He lifted a shoulder. “I thought you might pour out your heart to your dear friend Affection and I might overhear how you feel about me.”

“Obviously, my feelings are complicated.”

He flashed her a bright grin. “I’ll take complicated.”

And just like that, he vaulted over the railing. She pressed her hands to her mouth, quite certain she’d soon hear the terrible cracking of his legs as he struck the ground hard. But instead, he merely stood up as though he hadn’t just fallen from two stories high.

“What—” she whispered, incapable of saying more.

The proud grin on his face made him look even cockier than normal. “Didn’t know I could do that, did you?”

“No.”

“So you believe I’m a demon, but you aren’t willing to believe that I can jump off a tiny overhang like that?” He arched a brow as he prowled toward her. “You really don’t think much of me, Selene.”

“I don’t think of you much at all—” Her words scattered as he wrapped his arm around her waist and tugged her against his chest.

She let out a little oof, her palms coming to his chest to plant against hard muscles and... oh. She remembered how these flexed against her last night. How sturdy he’d felt when she tried to hold on to him so she didn’t feel like she was flying off into the sunset without him.

He’d been a rock then and was now. Even though he’d yanked her around like some kind of behemoth.

“What are you doing?” she whispered, staring up at him through her lashes.

“I was reminded that it’s important to share how important you are to me, and that I’m not just interested in you for sex.” That handsome face nodded at Affection. “You might want to disappear now.”

“I think I’ll stay.”

He bared his teeth in a snarl at the little spirit, who let out a tiny eep and then disappeared.

“Why did you scare Affection away?” But she had a feeling she already knew.

“Because I want this moment to be private.” His hand slid down her back and squeezed a handful of her ass. Or tried to, at least. Her dress got in the way and he mostly grabbed fabric. “And because once you are certain that I’m interested in you for you, I plan to spread you out on these flowers and tunnel my way under this ugly dress.”

“It’s not an ugly dress.”

“We can disagree on some things.” He tilted his head to the side and looked at her with no small amount of disdain. “Not on this, though.”

She sighed, rolling her eyes up to the clouds in the sky. If this was his way of reassuring her, then she had no idea what the opposite would look like. “Lust, I don’t want you listening in on conversations between myself and Affection. Everything is fine. And whatever advice a spirit gave you regarding us, I’m uncertain you should waste your time listening to them. Affection is not mortal. You are not mortal, and I’m aware that means you both will look at the world through a different lens.”

Lust tunneled his hand through her hair and forced her to look back at him. “Why did you hesitate after Affection mentioned traveling with me?”

She didn’t want to tell him. Admitting that she was jealous of his past felt... wrong. She had no right to be jealous, even if he had another woman with him now. He was Lust. He could do whatever and whoever he wanted and she would have to endure.

The only control she had in this situation was whether or not she gave him the ability to affect her happiness with his philandering. And Selene decided right then and there that she would never give him that.

Except he was so gentle as he tilted her head up to look at him. Softly brushing his fingertips over her lips, up her nose, and smoothing the furrow between her brow. “I don’t need to read minds to know I don’t like what you’re thinking, little moon.”

“There’s no good reason for my reaction to what Affection said. I apologize for upsetting your spirit.” She looked away from him again. “It’s not a mistake I will make again.”

“Ah, the ice queen is back, I see.” Lust pinched her chin between his fingers and forced her to stay still as he pressed his lips to her forehead. “Do you want to know what I think?”

“No.”

He kissed her temples, one after the other. “I think you’re afraid of what this is between us.” His lips moved over her eyes, forcing her to shut them as he ghosted feather light touches over each one. “And I think you’re jealous about the idea of traveling with me. Although I cannot guess why. I’m a very good travel partner, quiet, humble, easy to get along with. So I suppose what I would rather know is why you think traveling with me would be such a chore.”

Selene snorted, but then gasped in a breath as his lips ghosted over the tip of her nose, then pressed to each corner of her mouth. “I... I know what traveling with you entails. I’m not interested, Lust.”

“What? Long boring evenings in the carriage while we travel from place to place? Having to eat the terrible food in taverns? I believe you’ve already done that.” He pressed the softest, sweetest kiss to her mouth. Not indulging himself in anything other than a single press of their lips. “Or is it something more than that?”

If she wasn’t careful, she’d get drunk on him. She wanted more of these kisses. More quiet moments in the sun with him as his hands came up to frame her face.

But her mind wasn’t so certain. The fear of what life would be like with him ran away with her tongue. “I know that you go to those villages only for the sacrifices they lay out before you. You indulge in their pleasures just as much as they use you for an excuse to behave however they wish. I do not want to be there while you are... are...”

He pulled back to grin down at her, his thumbs stroking over her cheekbones. “My, my, sorceress. It sounds as though you might be jealous.”

“I’m not... I’m not jealous.” But she was. Oh, she really was. Just the idea of those women touching him, stroking their hands up the chest she was touching... It drove her mad. She was jealous, yes, but she also knew they might be more skilled than her. Less complicated. It would be easier for him to be with them, and the tantalizing nature of that ease was surely something that would summon him.

But he wasn’t leaving now. In fact, he was watching her with a rather odd expression on his face. A softening of those sharp features that were both handsome but also something far more than she’d expected.

He ghosted his thumbs over her cheekbones again. “Little moon, let me tell you something very important and I need to know you are listening to me right now. Do we have a deal?”

She nodded.

“When we first met, you said you were something new. You claimed you were capable of changing my world and standing out among all the rest. Those words called to me. They pulled my soul out of that dark place I’ve been resting in for so long and I know without a doubt that you were right. I fought against it. I didn’t want you to be new or different or surprising. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that you are all those things and more.” He kissed her again, his hands running down the length of her throat and then down her back. Lust pressed her against him, shoulder to thigh. “I am so very pleased you are here, Selene. It feels so good to be surprised again.”

Oh, well. That was rather nice. She let her cheek rest against his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breath even as he smoothed his hands down her back. And this was... nice.

“That doesn’t mean I want to travel with you,” she grumbled. “I know what they’re all expecting from you.”

“Trust, remember?” he chuckled. “I have no interest in any other woman than you, Selene. You are more than enough questions for one man to answer.”

She wasn’t questions. She was a woman with needs and desires and thoughts of her own. He had no right to put her in any other category. But... She supposed it was nice to know that he wasn’t looking at anyone else. That he was focused entirely on her and whatever was happening between the two of them.

And though he hadn’t said it in so many words, she had a feeling he was as affected by all this as she was.

“I didn’t know Lust cared about what anyone else feels,” she whispered.

“Ah, of course I do. I want everyone to enjoy every moment. Pleasure is pleasure, whether inside another or not.” He laughed, his chest bouncing with the sound. “But I will admit, I have not laughed so much in a very long time.”

“Laughter is rather frowned upon in the bedroom, I suppose.”

He drew back enough to see her face before he solemnly added, “I believe if it was your laughter, I would endure.”

Shaking her head, she rolled her eyes up to the sky. Perhaps an afternoon with him wouldn’t be so bad, even if he was a fool.