Chapter 12

ChapterTwelve

Lust sat in his office, running a finger over his bottom lip as he mused on his afternoon with Selene. It had been a rather lovely afternoon, although not an ounce of it had been sexual in nature, which was frustrating to no end. Every time she’d sipped her wine, he had wanted to run his tongue down her throat. And every time she’d popped a grape into her mouth, he’d wanted to whisper how lucky it was to have her tongue upon it.

Of course, he didn’t say any of those things. They were working on building trust with each other, and everything he’d read in his books stated that sexual advances were not helpful during this period of growth.

If anything, those philosophers had mused that sex did the opposite of build trust. Without trust, sex was more likely to drive a person away.

Which was ridiculous. He’d seen many people who were drawn together by sex. So who were these philosophers to say a word about how damaging lust could be to a relationship?

The door to his office opened and Lara walked through with a plate of food. Apparently, they’d already reached lunchtime, and he’d wasted almost an entire day thinking about an afternoon that had happened a week ago now. A waste of time. But also he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Sighing, he looked over at Lara as she put his lunch out on the table. She worked efficiently, and never once interrupted him from his thoughts. She’d been with him long enough to know that there were times for her attention and other times for her to remain in the shadows.

Most days, he didn’t even see her walk in. He was busy enough with his own work. The last thing he needed was for someone to break him out of his train of thought.

But right now, all he could think about were those damn books and how sex ruined trust.

Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose as she scurried away. “Lara.”

She paused in front of the door. “Is there anything else you need, my lord?”

The faint sound of hope in her voice used to annoy him. Now, it just made him feel a little guilty, and he couldn’t understand why. “Yes, I have a question for you.”

She folded her hands at her waist and waited for his question. Lust took his time planning what he wanted to say. Instead, he looked over the curves of her breasts, barely contained in the sheer gown she wore. How her hips had grown over the years and there were faint wrinkles around her eyes that he didn’t remember. Lines on her forehead that showed she wasn’t the young woman he’d brought underneath his wing all those years ago.

She’d been his favorite then, and was still his favorite now. Of all the women in this castle to serve him, she was the only one who had done so simply because she liked him. Or at least, that’s what he’d always assumed.

If sex ruined trust, then she was the one to prove that wrong.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

Her jaw dropped open before she could catch it. Stammering, she forced herself to pause, cleared her throat, and then said, “With my life.”

“I knew it.” Lust slammed his fist onto the table to punctuate his words before realizing how strange that sounded. “My apologies, Lara. I’m still musing over something that was said a few days ago.”

“Was it perhaps the young woman you’ve brought to the castle?” Lara knew better than to pry, but she could tread the line easier than others.

Sighing, he shrugged. “I suppose I can admit it. She seems to think that trust cannot be grown when one is embroiled in lust.”

“That’s silly. I have no question you will do whatever you want to my body, and that you know exactly what I want. Even if I cannot tell it to you.” She made her way over to his desk, skirting the edge to sit down in front of him. Her legs gracefully parted, offering him what he normally would have taken. “I’ve known you long enough to be certain of that.”

It was the last sentence that made him pause. If she hadn’t said it, he might have indulged both of them in an afternoon distraction.

And yet... “So you agree it takes time?”

“What?” Her eyes went wide. “What takes time?”

“To build trust.” He glared and kept his hands to himself. “She seems to believe that trust requires not only time to grow but also knowledge about the other person. You seem to agree with her.”

“I... I don’t...” Lara shook her head. “Trust should be freely given. I trusted you the first time you had my body, and I continue to trust you now.”

But was that the same kind of trust that Selene wanted between them? He pinched his lower lip, lost in thought for a moment, before another bloomed. He met Lara’s confused stare and promptly asked, “If I wanted you to give me your daughter for a few nights, would you?”

All the blood drained out of her face. “She’s only eight, Lust.”

“Yes, that doesn’t matter. I’m not interested in children. But if I asked for you to give her to me, would you?”

Surely that would prove to Selene that others trusted him. What would be more symbolic? Women were most protective of their children, above even themselves. Lara would loan the child—what was her name?—to Lust, and then he would bring the child to Selene. The sorceress would know what to do with a little girl, and he could make a point.

Easy. It was a good plan.

Except then his attention drew back to Lara as she slid onto the floor in front of him. Her hands on his thighs, fingers shaking as she begged. “I will do whatever you wish, my lord, my king, my god. I will lick your floors to keep them clean if you wish it, but my daughter remains in her home. Away from the castle. Away from here.”

Now this was confusing.

“She is just a child,” he murmured, running his fingers through her hair. “Surely I cannot do anything to break her? There is no safer place in the kingdom than this castle.”

“I do not wish her to be like me,” Lara whispered. Her eyes dropped to the floor between his feet as her hands slipped off him. “I am not ashamed of what I do to keep her life comfortable, but it is my choice that she not end up here.”

“Fuck.”

Lust leaned back in his chair, biting his lip as he realized two very important things at the same time. First, Lara didn’t really trust him. Perhaps to pleasure her, but not in any way that was important. And second, she thought he wanted her daughter to serve him as she did. And that made her ashamed.

“Fuck,” he said again, leaning into the word.

How had that damned sorceress wriggled into his mind this easily? He’d been happy without her question mark hovering over his head and making him question every aspect of his life.

To make the day even better, a golden orb floated in through his window. An orb that could only be one of his brothers attempting to contact him.

“Go,” he said, waving Lara away. “I have other things to attend to.”

Her face somehow paled even further. “Home, my lord? Do you not wish...”

“Fucking—” He stared up at the ceiling. “Go back to work, Lara. You have done nothing wrong. I am not angry with you.”

She pulled herself back together. He watched as she reeled all those unraveled and unnecessary thoughts back into herself and then smiled at him. “Thank you, my lord. If you need anything other than your lunch, please have them send for me.”

He watched her leave with a sense of confusion burning inside him. Could all women do that? She’d seemed eerily similar to Selene in those moments. Maybe it was a female thing he would never understand.

No, that couldn’t be it. Even as Lara closed the door, he could taste her sense of disappointment that he hadn’t taken what she’d offered.

But she still didn’t trust him. And that bothered him more than he’d thought it would.

Slumping back in his chair, he waved his hand at the orb that hovered over the chair on the other side of his desk. The magic in it pulsed, brightening for a moment before a cascade of golden lights burst out of it. They gathered up to make the vague impression of his brother, sitting in a chair, likely at his own desk.

“What is it?” Lust growled.

“Angry today, are we?”

“I have other things to do than entertain you, Greed. What do you want?”

His brother was looking rather peaky. Not a good look for a man who already had very little self control. The plume on top of his head was longer than Lust remembered, and it looked like he’d cut the sides a little closer. That hair right now looked golden, but Lust knew it was bright red as the flames Greed surrounded himself with.

He wore nothing but a leather vest and leather leggings, the broad expanse of his chest bare for all to see. He looked like a warlord who had just gotten back from a conquest. Considering his kingdom was full of desert, sand, and more desert, Lust wouldn’t be surprised if he’d made himself into a warlord.

Greed eyed him with a feral smile. “Oh, hush. I can’t check in on my baby brother?”

The memory of Selene’s laugh when he’d gotten frustrated over that term flashed in his mind. And somehow, that memory made it a little easier. He hated that she’d eased the sting with the riotous memory of her laughter.

Instead of arguing, he calmly replied, “No. Not usually. Most of the time, you ignore that I exist.”

“We both know that’s not true.” Greed leaned forward, eyeing him with no small amount of suspicion. “Why aren’t you fighting back?”

“Because I find you boring, Greed. We both know you have something to say, so get it out.”

And also because Lust wanted to go back to pondering the horrible realization that even his closest lover didn’t trust him. Not entirely. She’d place her body in his hands, but anything beyond that, she wouldn’t. Was it because she didn’t care what happened to herself as long as everyone else remained cared for? That was a horrifying thought.

Greed leaned back in his chair and sighed. “I did want to check in on you, and needed to know how you were doing. I know leading a kingdom can be exhausting, and you like it to be more exhausting than half of us. Always better than us, you were. You know, sometimes I wonder if you’re a little too soft for this. Less of the demon and more of the angel, yeah? Until I heard a little rumor that you were getting married and I had the thought, maybe he’s just going to corrupt this new bird on another level entirely.”

There it was.

“You’ve heard wrong.” Lust lifted his hand to dispel the magic. “Thank you for your concern, brother. But I have everything handled.”

“By getting married to a human?” Greed lifted his hand to mirror Lust’s, effectively stopping the spell that he would have cast. “No, you’re going to talk to me about this. Have you lost your mind? A mortal remaining for any longer than necessary cannot end well for either of you.”

“I’m not marrying anyone.”

“Really? That’s not what everyone else in the realm is saying, so I have to tell you brother, I question it.”

Lust rolled his eyes. “And when have I ever cared about what the rest of the realms say? I say I’m not marrying her, and that’s final.”

Lust had no intention of fulfilling whatever the sorceresses wanted him to do. He also knew for a fact that Selene didn’t want to marry him, either. And as he’d told her, he was not a monster. He’d not force her into anything she would regret.

“Then why is she there?”

As if he had an answer for that. Not one that Greed would like, at least. Sighing, he shrugged. “The sorceresses of the Tower are trying to grasp for power again. They wish for me to marry one of their own, thinking that would make me easier to manipulate.”

“This is not the first time they’ve tried to do so. What makes this time different? You’ve never even entertained them. Not even the last time when they cast spells over your kingdom. All you did was go around and unmake them, even though you knew damned well they would keep casting those spells.” Greed tilted his head to the side. “And there is something different about this one, isn’t there? You aren’t going soft on us.”

No, he wasn’t. He wasn’t going soft in the slightest. He was trying to figure out this woman’s mind because she was stranger than any other he’d ever met.

Newness made him uncomfortable. He’d grown complacent, knowing how everything would go and how everyone’s thoughts ran.

The last thing he wanted was to tell Greed the truth. But he had no one else to talk with this about, and he found himself begrudgingly admitting, “It seems she is immune to my power.”

“Hilarious. Why is she actually there?”

Lust stared at his brother with his brows raised. “That. That is why she’s here.”

“So she’s asexual. We have plenty of them here in my kingdom. Send her my way and you’ll be rid of her.”

“She isn’t immune to lust entirely. She’s just immune to it with me.” Seven Kingdoms. He hated even admitting that. It made him seem weak. Like he was losing control over his power.

Greed paused, then his expression shuddered into something terrifying. “You’re joking, of course.”

“I am not.”

“We’ve never seen anyone immune to our powers. We are spirits of our emotion, the strongest of our kind. Demon kings, they call us, because we can manipulate them.”

“Yes, I lived the stories.”

“We have ruled these lands for a thousand years and never has a single mortal been born with a power to resist the compulsion of our powers.”

Lust hissed out a long breath. “I’m aware of that, brother. Do you think I am not? I know how it is, that’s why I brought her here! She is under my supervision until I understand what is going on.”

Greed tapped his finger against his chin, shaking his head in denial of it. “Change is what’s happening. And I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I.” Lust had barely slept since she got here. Even now, he only slept in fits when he knew there was someone out there who he couldn’t control.

“You know we need to tell Pride about this.”

Their most meddlesome brother? The one who thought he was the true ruler over all seven of the kingdoms? “Absolutely not,” he snarled. “We will not tell him a single thing about this.”

“Then Wrath.”

The eldest of their brothers, and arguably the most dangerous. Lust already knew what Wrath would say, and that was to kill the problem.

“No,” he said again. “We keep this between the two of us until we understand what has given her this strange power. I need your word on this, Greed.”

But his brother was staring at him with the expression that meant he was about to make trouble, and Lust didn’t have time for that.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop,” Lust said, pointing his finger at Greed. “My answer is no.”

“But it has been so long since I’ve visited your kingdom! Too long.” Greed’s grin split into that feral expression again. “I should meet this woman myself. Another pair of eyes might see something you do not.”

“You are not welcome in my kingdom after what you did last time.” Lust didn’t want him here, anyway. Greed collected unique objects, weapons, places, and people. He hoarded them like a miser, like a dragon, and if he saw with his own eyes how different Selene was, then he would try to take her from him. Even if that meant kidnapping her in the middle of the night.

He couldn’t let Greed visit. He wouldn’t.

“No,” he repeated. “You are not coming here, Greed. She’s not another pet for you to view.”

“Oh, but I don’t need your invitation. None of us need one to visit the other, now do we? Besides, you keep far too many pets to yourself.” A flash of that grin was the only warning he had before the spell was severed.

Damn it.

He held his head in his hands, grabbing onto his horns with a punishing grip. Everything was falling to pieces. All of it was wrong, wrong, wrong.

“Fuck!” he shouted, clearing his desk of all items and listening to them shatter upon the floor. Even that could not satisfy the sudden rage that burned through his chest until he couldn’t even breathe.

He could lose her. So easily. And all before he figured out the answer to the puzzle she’d presented him.