4. Bennett

FOUR

BENNETT

I really don't know what the hell happened back at Gab's place to make Luke follow me home and babble an adorable apology—I'm guessing Gab gave him my address and Mom let him in, since she's been waiting all morning for the plumbers to come over, so that covers the how—but whatever it is, I'm actually thankful for it.

I was pretty sure I'd never see the guy again when I walked away from him and started to feel the embarrassment from running away like a wounded animal. I was cursing myself while putting in my stupid contacts, after I'd hunted down the solution at the bottom of a five-box pile in my bedroom. I got dressed, and was just starting to feel like myself again when the knock came.

"So you don't remember us meeting... on two different occasions?" I conclude.

"Exactly." He lights up, but then presses his lips together like he's trying to keep himself from saying anything more. That's interesting. Why would he do that ?

"Nothing else to say?" I decide to just come out and ask.

"I don't want to make it about myself. I just want to apologize, because not remembering people you've met before is an asshole move and I'd like to think I'm not an asshole. But now that I've thought about it on the way here, there are some glimpses coming back to me."

I sigh. He's too wholesome for me to continue being angry, so I open the door wider and tilt my head for him to come inside. The man came all the way over here, the least I can do now that he's apologized, is offer him something to drink.

And that's all .

Yes, no more thinking he's attracted to me.

"You're fine," I tell him as we walk to the kitchen. I don't look back, but I hear him close the door behind him and his steps following me. "And you're forgiven." I open the fridge and take out the jar of lemonade Mom said she'd leave for me and Lizzie this morning.

I dig for two glasses in the boxes littered over the counter, and find Lizzie's sippy cups first. I shrug to myself. I don't feel like digging for grown-up glasses so pour us one each, all without looking at Luke.

I don't know what we're supposed to talk about now. I should've just apologized at the door and made some bullshit excuse about being busy.

Luke clears his throat before I can find the courage to turn and say something very random like, "Warm weather, here".

"So, you just moved here?" I finally turn and see him looking around the kitchen, beyond the opening to the living room and to the patio doors that lead to the pool.

"Yeah, my parents wanted to live somewhere warmer and since they're all the family Lizzie and I have, we decided it was best we come with, to keep an eye on them." I try to smirk and get a short chuckle for my troubles.

"So that was your mom at the main house?"

"Probably. Well, I hope. If it wasn't then we have some intruders."

"She was disappointed that I wasn't the plumber."

"Then that was my mother for sure." I laugh a little myself and lead him back outside. There's nowhere to sit inside, that's all there is to it. It's not like I want Luke to forget he ever saw the mess I'm living in, not at all.

Setting up Lizzie's bedroom was a priority, and now the kitchen's next. The list is long, and the last item is my bedroom—that's the parent gig, after all. So yeah, taking Luke out of this mess and back to the only really stunning part of the mansion my parents bought is the way to go.

"The house is..." Luke trails off as I sit down in one of the loungers.

"A mess." I snort. "You can say it, everything's a mess."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far. You just moved, right?"

"Yes." I nod, and I don't ogle him while he sits down, then lays back on the lounger next to mine. Or when his biceps ripple as he reaches for his sippy cup. I don't.

Though, he does look unfairly endearing drinking lemonade out of the bright pink cup. Cute, really.

And I'm not noticing .

"We arrived yesterday." I finally answer.

He turns to look at me and my whole body tenses in expectation. What is he going to say? Do? Ask?

"What do you do, Bennett?"

The question comes out of nowhere, and though it confuses me, I answer without thinking .

"I'm a writer."

Now he's the one looking confused, as his head turns from looking at the pool house to the mansion and back again.

"Oh." I think I understand his confusion. "My parents bought this place." I wave a hand around. "They want to fix it up and live their best lives while doing it, then sell it and move to a smaller place."

"Huh," is all he says, and once again points those bright blue eyes at me. His blond hair ruffles a little with the light breeze. I want to run my fingers through it. It looks soft and... shiny. He's the typical American boy next door, and it turns out that's irresistible to me, because I can't tear my eyes away.

"They're professors. Well, they were. They just retired." I start to ramble, my nerves getting the better of me. "Like I said, they wanted to move somewhere warmer, and I can work from anywhere. So, after I found a good nursery school for Lizzie, we all came down here. Now we're all living in a mess, and just trying to adjust, you know? It sure is hotter here than in Seattle though, that's for sure. And it's gonna take some getting used to."

"I just bet it is," he says with a slight southern accent.

"Where are you from?" I blurt.

"Texas." And the twang in one word is enough to confirm it.

"Go back home often?" I ask for some stupid reason.

"No," he answers shortly.

Okay, then. I guess that's not a friendly topic. And it's then I realize I should just make the excuse after all. Luke and I have nothing in common, it's not like we're gonna be friends or anything. Nothing about his life ties him to mine. Not like Adam, Mike, George, Derek, and Leaf. They're all people who I met through my friends and who I instantly shared a connection with .

They may be football bros, but they're also interested in a bunch of shit that has nothing to do with football.

Not that I don't talk about their jobs with them, of course I do. I'm a good friend, so I know more about the sport than I ever thought I would. But with Luke... well, we clearly don't have anything to talk about.

And it's not my nervousness or twitchiness at being in front of a man I find insanely attractive. Of course, it's not.

"I need to pick Lizzie up in a while, and still have to put the kitchen to rights and get lunch started," I say as I stand. "Sorry." I wince when he looks startled.

"Yeah, I get it. I should get back to Gab's and get to work, too."

"Okay then. Thanks for coming over and for apologizing."

"You mean barging in uninvited and making you listen to me ramblin' on about how hard I got it?" The rueful smile does it.

I can't keep myself from smiling at him while a humiliating sigh, full of longing comes out.

He's charming , that's what it is. Luke Riggs is pure charm.

"I wouldn't call it that," I say softly.

"Well, then I'm not sorry I came over." He smiles happily at me and shoves his hands in his pockets, taking his phone out with just one. "How about you put your phone number in here so I can introduce you to my friends, and you can come out to lunch with us some day when you get free time?"

That's... nice of him. Very nice actually, and surprisingly—I'm not disappointed, I swear I'm not—he's not coming on to me. That's great. Just what I wanted.

Perfect.

I do my best to keep the smile on my face intact, and save my phone number in his phone .

He smirks when he sees the name I gave myself in his contact list.

"See ya later, Guy From That Party." He waves in a way that's somehow not awkward at all, and saunters away to the path leading to the main house's driveway.

Charm, that's all it is.

And nothing more.

Sure .

"Daddy?" Lizzie's small, sleepy voice snaps me out of my head.

I was daydreaming . . .

No, I wasn't.

"Yes, sweet pea?" I turn only my head and see she already has her eyes closed.

"You stopped reading." She pouts with the ferocity of a sloth, she's that tired.

"Sorry," I whisper and kiss her forehead. Then I comb the fingers of my left hand through her black curls. She has my left arm trapped under her head, but I don't mind. I go back to reading for about thirty seconds before her first soft snore reaches me.

I mark the page, close the book, and put it on the nightstand soundlessly. After a minute more where I enjoy the feel of my daughter's peaceful breaths against my chest, I gently extricate myself and leave her room.

I go right back to work. Getting the kitchen and living room unpacked and organized needs to happen for my sanity. I can work on setting up my office tomorrow and my bedroom the day after tomorrow. Then it's the weekend, where I'll have Lizzie with me all day, and I think I'd like to take her exploring a bit. Don't know where yet, but I can research good places for kids after I've set up my office.

I also have to find the time to talk to Wendy, who very graciously offered me online sessions after we discussed the move to Vegas. With all the planning, packing, and actual moving, I haven't had time to book a session in almost a month. I'm getting desperate now, and my sudden penchant to think nonstop about a football player who is clearly not "the one" for me, is proof of how much I need a good talk with her.

I pick up the wet wipes I used to clean Lizzie's hands when she got home, and smile at the memory of seeing her at the nursery school today.

I was worried about how she'd handle being away from me for a few hours for the first time. Well, with strangers. She's been away from me for a whole day before, but that's when she stayed with my parents.

She had zero problems leaving me behind though, and even pouted when I picked her up before all the other kids were leaving.

It was her first day, though. Hailey, her teacher, and I thought it was best for her to not spend the whole day there on her first day. Tomorrow she'll arrive earlier than today and leave later. We'll see how that goes, but I bet it goes even better than today.

Even though Lizzie can't speak full sentences yet, I could tell from her chatter that she liked it a lot, and that should only make my heart warm, not constrict.

But it is what it is.

Bittersweet.

I want my daughter to grow up, to form her own mind, to learn about the world, but I also kinda want her to stay my little girl, my sweet pea, forever .

Impossible, I know, just like I know most parents feel the same way I do, so I try not to be too hard on myself. A little hard, of course, because otherwise I might stifle her.

The meeting with Gab—everything with Luke aside—was a success. We're gonna start working next week, since she wants me to take time to settle in. We'll work every day, in the mornings for now, and if we're not done come August when I'll start my PhD, then we'll find a way to work with two busy schedules.

I'm so fucking excited about the program at Albert, and it doesn't hurt that finally, Glenn won't be the only doctor in our friend group. I smirk at the thought and decide to give it a rest once the kitchen is clean. There's not a lot more to unpack here, only the rest of the plates and some knick-knacks.

I go to my room and find my iPad still in my backpack. I see at least fifty messages from the non-athletes group chat we have, but instead of reading through all of them, I just press the video camera button and start a call.

I realize too late that Sebas, Glenn, Theo, and Heather especially, are probably already asleep on the East Coast, but one by one, they all answer—except for CJ, who's probably saving some child's life or sleeping, and Carter, who's more than likely out partying in NYC.

Theo is a baker, so he normally wakes up way before the sun, and Heather has a three-month-old baby boy and could do with some uninterrupted sleep, so I'm genuinely surprised when those two are the first to answer.

"Hey, Bennett." Heather looks well rested and wide awake even though it's... ten at night. That's surprising. I sure as fuck didn't look that good when Lizzie was three months old. "How was Lizzie's first day?" she asks eagerl y

"Yeah, did the princess have a good time?" Theo pipes up just as Josie, Glenn, Sebas, and Hawk's faces all appear on my screen.

Everyone says hello at the same time, and I smile at our disorganized and eclectic group.

A musician, a sculptor, a physics genius, a social worker, a baker, a stay-at-home mom, and a writer. Seems so unlikely, and yet we're all as close as friends who live in different cities can be.

"Why are you awake, Theo? " I think to ask when they finally reach the end of their greetings. "I'm sorry if the call woke you."

"I have a day off tomorrow. Mike told me I had to take a break." He rolls his eyes but there's a soft smile on his lips.

"Awwwww." Sebas swoons exaggeratedly. "You two are the cutest, we all know, but c'mon Bennett. Tell us about Lizzie's day."

"She hated me for picking her up early," I start to tell them, and feel my heart grow bigger at how raptly they pay attention to me telling them about my daughter's day.

"And the meeting with Gab?" Glenn pipes up.

"It went really well. We'll start next week since I'm drowning in boxes here. She was fine with me taking a few days to put the house to rights."

"Yeah, she's awesome like that," Sebas says with a decisive nod. Since my new boss is his aunt-in-law, he'd know.

"So yeah, everything's fine." I decide not to say anything about my interactions with Luke. My friends would know how I feel about the whole thing in a second if I even utter his name, and there's no need to have them all salivating for gossip about my non-existent dating life.

There's a very good reason why none of them know about Jeremy, a.k.a. the biggest asshole alive, and my short relationship with him—I don't want it to be what they see when they think of me.

The label.

The implication.

Assault is an impacting word, not something people forget you mentioned.

"What else happened?" Josie asks with a suspicious look. She's the most perceptive of us all, so I focus on looking at the camera and not at any of their faces when I answer.

"Nothing really. Just came home, unpacked, then went to get Lizzie." I keep my expression passive and hold my breath when there's only silence.

There are six other people on this call for heaven's sake. Silence is so obviously a bad sign that I can't hide my panic.

"No." Josie shakes her head. "Something else happened, now spill it."

"Nothing else happened Jo?—"

"Spill it, or we'll start throwing out outlandish possibilities," Hawk threatens with his always sunshiny smile firmly on his face. That's a contrast for sure.

I sigh heavily. They won't drop it, I know. I massage the bridge of my nose as I think about how to phrase it to make it seem like it was nothing. The silence only stretches, so I know there's no way I'm getting out of this.

"Luke arrived at Gab's place when I was leaving."

They all look at me like they're expecting more than that and won't comment until I've told the whole thing. Having friends who know you this well can be a pain in the ass, man.

The exasperation in my tone is obvious since I don't try to disguise it, and I do my best to get it all out as fast as I can. "And he didn't recognize me. Introduced himself as if it was the first time we met, so I just told him my name and left. Then half an hour later he showed up at my place to apologize for not recognizing me, then asked me about the house, my parents, why we moved here, then he shut me down hard when I asked one question about his hometown. After that, I told him I had things to do, and before he left he asked for my number so he could invite me to go to lunch with him and his football bros sometime next week."

Silence remains after I'm done.

For what feels like a an eternity, which is unnerving as fuck, really. Why can't they just shrug it off and we can move on?

Good idea.

"Can we move on now? How are you guys?"

They all ignore my question and shoot questions of their own.

"He followed you home?" Glenn screws up his face in a grimace, looking creeped out.

"How exactly was the apology phrased?" Josie's need for all the details makes me smirk.

"What did you ask about his hometown?" Heather has her chin on her fist and looks settled down and ready to get the whole scoop.

"Do you think it was as obvious to him as it is to us that you have a big ol' crush on him?" Hawk says with a devilish grin.

"So when's the wedding?" Sebas says at the end of the question-firing squad and makes everyone but me crack up.

I let out another huge sigh, then just give in.

"My guess is that Gab gave him my address, though I didn't ask. Maybe I should've." I shrug before I go on. "The apology was rambly and... adorable," I admit, without being able to help it. "I asked if he made it back to his hometown often and he said no. Shortly, like, very clearly not wanting to talk about it. I don't think my..." I hesitate, and then say with obvious reluctance, " Crush... was obvious at all." I give the camera the beady eye, hoping Hawk knows it's for him. "And the wedding isn't happening. I don't know how to say this without offending almost everyone on this phone call, but football players don't seem like the type to be willing to be in a monogamous relationship without sex." I finish with finality.

Finally, Theo pipes up.

"Were you this presumptuous with him too?" he asks drily.

"I'm not—" But I cut myself off, because... he has a point. "Fuck," I hiss, and let my face fall on my hands.

"Yeah, I know this hasn't been easy for you," Glenn says—which, no , he actually doesn't know, but I won't be correcting him—once it's clear by my falling face that I understand how much of an asshole I've been. Even if only in my own thoughts and with the people I trust most in the world.

Clearly, I choose my friends well, since they're willing and able to call me out on my shit. "A relationship, finding love. We all know it's something you want, and something you've kinda given up on. But making assumptions about George almost cost me the love of my life."

"Same with me and Mike," Theo says with a nod.

"It almost cost Dee me ," Hawk agrees with his smile still intact, though it looks... softer.

"And assumptions made me say no to Leaf's proposals for years. Thank god he stood by me." Heather looks more serious than all of them, and we all fall silent, somehow feeling her regret through our screens. That is until Sebas breaks the tension like he always does—expertly.

"Well neither Adam nor I made any assumptions. We were very clearly rooted in reality. We just took a huge chance on each other. More him than me." He raises an eyebrow pointedly and I know it's in answer to my comment about football players.

"The most terrifying thing about this whole conversation is that Sebas is right," Josie says with a not-quite-genuine smile. "Now Bennett, can you tell us what Luke did before you realized he didn't recognize you for you to be so hard on him?"

"Fuck," I repeat. "Okay, sorry, I'm sorry." I feel like shit because yeah, I was a dick. I don't have to keep being one though. "I'm just?—"

"Scared," Heather says shortly.

"Yeah," I sigh out the word. "He looked at me like..." I don't even know how to describe it. "He was just staring up at me. It seemed like hours and also seconds, it was weird. I was wearing my glasses and looked all rumpled because I just fucking moved a thousand miles yesterday, for fuck's sake. And his eyes were so big and not moving away from me and well?—"

"He looked at you like he thought you were beautiful, so all your walls went up?" Sebas expertly encompasses what happened inside me. I hadn't even realized that's what happened until this very moment. "Why don't you keep that in mind when he calls or texts to invite you to that lunch?"