Twenty-Four

TWENTY-FOUR

FELTON

Ren holds me against him for a while until I can get myself under control. I feel foolish. I can't even explain why I feel so emotional when he tells me he'll make my decisions for me. Combined with him telling me he really wants me? Honestly, if he doesn't change his mind because of my blubbering now, I may just faint or something else equally dramatic.

When I think I can face looking at him again, I pull back. I hope I'm not this much of a mess when his parents get here. What will they think of me? They won't want their son to see me if they see what kind of horror I am.

Or what kind of failure.

Still, I don't meet Ren's eyes when I sit up again. I'm not this… pathetic. I swear, I'm not. I have some semblance of adulting under control.

Ren pushes my bowl back into my hands. "Eat. We'll hit the gym after."

I do as I'm told.

Throughout the rest of the day, Ren basically tells me how to breathe, just like he promised he would. After the gym, we come back and shower. Separately, though I find I'm slightly disappointed by that. Not that I'd say so. I also avoid touching myself since I'm not sure I'm allowed to. Is it wrong to get off in someone else's shower?

When I walk back into the bedroom, there are clothes laid out for me on the bed. The warmth that it brings to my chest has me smiling like a fucking loon.

Ren hands me my tablet and a protein shake after and tells me to get comfortable in the living room while he showers next. There are a few games I play; they're all either the matching kind or the endless Tetris kind. They're really only entertaining for a few rounds.

By the time I'm bored, Ren's back and there's a knock at the door. My heart races thinking that it's already his parents.

It's not. It's food delivery. As I help him put the food away, I find it amusing that he ordered more. His pantry and fridge were already bursting at the seams. It's only as we're putting the stuff away that I see the difference between what he had delivered and what's already here.

"You bought this stuff for me, didn't you?"

He looks at me and smiles. "I did."

Shaking my head, I say, "You really didn't need to. I eat pretty much anything."

"Since we're talking about food, is there anything you don't like? Any allergies?"

"No," I say, shrugging. Then pause. "Actually, those green things that twist." I make a little pinwheel in the air. "I think they're called… well, I think it begins with an f. But I don't like those at all."

"No twisted green vegetation. Got it. Anything else?"

His amused smile makes my stomach flutter. "No," I say, shaking my head again. "But really, you didn't need to buy all this food."

"Different cultures have very different kinds of foods and they're not for everyone. I don't want you to starve for the next ten days or suffer through things you hate because you're too polite to say so."

I'm caught between the fact that I have a whole ten days with Ren and the fact he thinks I'm polite. I mean, I guess I understand. It's not like I'd tell him if something he made was disgusting.

He brushes his thumb across my cheek, and I sigh. His lips touch mine. "I want to take care of you. That includes feeding you things you like. Trust me when I tell you this isn't a burden at all. I'm a master of multitasking in the kitchen."

"Do you cook a lot?" I ask.

Ren nods. "Yes. I enjoy cooking. I miss the food I grew up on when we're away at games too long, so I always make it a point to cook when I'm home."

"I'm not sure I'm good at cooking. I can follow directions on a box," I offer.

He chuckles. "You can cook with me this week. Okay?"

I grin, nodding.

"Let's start with lunch. Wash your hands."

I'm not entirely sure what we're doing most of the time between mixing a whole bunch of raw things with my hands and trying to delicately press thin dough around them. By the time I've made a couple dozen, my hands, arms, face, and shirt—and the kitchen—are a mess.

Ren cleans me up. No, really. He brings me to the sink, and I wash my hands and arms while he wipes my face clean with a wet cloth. Then he pulls my shirt over my head and wipes me down a little more from the mess that went with the shirt.

He leaves me drying my skin long enough to bring me another shirt and by the time I'm dressed again, he tells me to sit at the counter and he's sliding me a bowl of soup with dumplings and a plate of another half dozen all crispy.

I'm stupidly surprised that they're so good and I had a hand in making them! I can definitely tell which ones I stuck together. Ren's look like actual food, whereas mine look like a toddler tried to mimic what the adults were doing. But they're just as tasty.

After lunch, Ren brings me into my room and has me sit on the bed while he repacks my clothes and toiletries. When he's finished, he offers me his hand and leads me into his bedroom, where he points at the bed for me to sit.

I watch as he arranges things in his drawers before adding my clothes to them. I'm not sure why it makes me catch my breath; there's something about this moment that feels so big. I think the air must be dry since it's making my eyes sting too.

When he's emptied my bag, Ren folds it and sets it in his closet. With my hand once more in his, and my toiletries in the other, he takes me to the bathroom, and I watch as he puts my items alongside his.

I'm thankful he doesn't require me to speak right now. It's all such a little thing, so I'm not sure why I feel emotional right now.

Then we lay on the couch. I'm not sure how I can be on top of him, sprawled across his chest again, but as I sink into him a little more with each minute that passes, the only thing I can think is that I don't want this to end. Ever. Not with the way he runs his fingers through my hair or how I can hear the steady beat of his heart under my ear.

I love his warmth and his kindness and how nice he is to me. Has anyone ever been this nice?

We lay there for five episodes of Big Bang and I'm jolted upright when his doorbell fills the air. Ren kisses my cheek and gently guides me to my feet.

"Is it your parents?" I ask.

Ren glances at his watch and nods. "Should be."

"How do I act? What do I say? How do I address them? Will I understand them?"

He grins. "They speak some English, yes. Repeat after me: ni hao."

"Say it again?" Ren repeats himself and I do my best to mimic it.

"Good. That's hello. That's all you need. I'll make sure you understand."

I'm practically coming out of my skin by the time Ren opens the door. Scolding myself, because I should have spent this entire morning asking how to not make an ass of myself in front of his family. I want them to like me! What if they don't?

My time to panic is up as Ren leads them inside. I probably look like a deer in headlights. "This is my bà ba, my dad, Jian, and my mum, mā ma, Li Rong. This is my friend Felton," Ren introduces.

Both of his parents slightly incline their heads. A quick glance at Ren finds him nodding, so I mimic what they do and say the word he taught me. "Ni hao."

His mother smiles. His father looks both amused and impressed. I hope that means I said it correctly.

"I'll get your bags," Ren says. "Come on, Felton."

I slip into my shoes and follow him outside, thankful when he doesn't leave me alone with his parents. I'm not sure what to say yet.

"Couple things," he says when we're outside. "Parents are often inquisitive of anyone in their child's life. They're probably going to ask you a lot of questions. Please don't feel like it's an attack; it's just our culture. Also, there's very little PDA in front of parents or family. So me not touching you isn't a reflection of how I feel or whether I want to. It's respectful and expected of me."

I nod. He hands me a suitcase and takes the second. After he shuts the trunk and hits it so the driver knows he can take off, he turns to me and pulls my face down to kiss me. I breathe him in, unsure when I'll be able to next. "Just relax. Be yourself."

"Okay," I whisper.

"We should have talked more earlier, but I was enjoying feeling you against me while we had the opportunity. They've been here before many times, so they know how very different the culture is."

"I just want them to like me."

Ren presses another kiss to my lips. "They're going to love you, tián xīn."

Not going to lie, I completely melt when he calls me that. It's only the second time, but I light up like the Fourth of July inside.

I follow Ren inside and we place the suitcases in the spare room for his parents. It's not as awkward as I expect it to be when we join them in the living room. Ren makes sure he takes me with him when he leaves to get tea and some cakes—which look like cookies to me—while we wait for his brother.

His brother, Jin, arrives a couple hours later, and after a few minutes of catching up as a family, Ren takes me into the kitchen to cook with him. I'm making dumplings again, though the inside is different. I also make wontons for soup, which are very similar to me.

We make char siu, which is a pork dish that smells divine. I may drool a little. Then we make steamed pork buns and noodles. The noodles at least look familiar and I'm confident I've had them in Chinese restaurants before. But when Ren sneaks me a taste, I know nothing has ever been as good.

Dinner is pleasant and they all speak in English, which I'm sure is mostly for my benefit. It's a little difficult to understand his parents at first since their accents are a lot thicker. Jin's isn't quite so pronounced, though there's no mistaking that English isn't his first language.

For a while, I just listen to them talk. Not the conversation so much as their words. How they talk. I find it calming. Pleasant. I love their pronunciations and how their sentences are spoken slightly differently than how I'm used to hearing.

I clean up with Ren, then we head to bed. He follows me into the bathroom. "Brush your teeth, Fel."

He stands at the sink next to the one he nudges me in front of and together, we brush our teeth. When we're finished, he pulls me to him and pushes me onto the counter, where he stands between my legs. I don't flush at all. Especially not when his hands land on my thighs. The air is thick in here all of the sudden.

"Tell me about your normal nighttime routine," he says.

"I brush my teeth, wash my hands and face. If I'm really sweaty from the day, I'll take another shower."

He nods. "What do you sleep in?"

My cheeks heat a little when I answer. "Underwear. The little ones because they don't get twisted when I move around. But I can?—"

"Hush," he cuts me off, and I stop talking. "I don't want to break your routine, Felton. I want you to keep your sense of normalcy, so I need to know the things that you do. The clothes you like to wear, when. What makes you most comfortable for mornings or nights or meals. I'm very happy to tell you what to do, but I don't want to change you, Fel. I just want to take the pressure away so you can find some joy in life again."

I may fall in love with this man. It's a very big possibility.

"I asked about food allergies, but do you have any others?"

I shake my head. "Do you?"

He smiles. "Penicillin. All the cillins—amoxicillin, temocillin, Augmentin." Ren lifts his arm to show me something on his wrist. It's a tattoo that I've never seen before. "This lets everyone know if I'm unable to speak that I have a severe penicillin allergy."

"It's permanent?"

Ren nods. "Yep. I used to wear a bracelet, but with hockey, that's not always possible. So I tattooed it on my wrist, right where the medics would look."

"What happens if you have penicillin?"

"Depending on the dose, I could succumb to anaphylaxis."

A shiver races through me. "What do I do if that happens?"

Ren smiles. Beside my leg, he opens a drawer and pulls out a box. Inside is an EpiPen, which he pulls out and shows me. "The thigh is best." He touches my leg. "With no clothing in the way if possible. Press it here until this piece is flush and then push the top. A needle will inject the medicine."

He hands me the EpiPen. I've never held one before so I take a minute to examine it.

"There's one beside my bed, one in the kitchen, and one in my gym bag. Coach also has one, as well as the medics that travel with us."

"This is as terrifying as it is fascinating," I say.

He smiles and replaces it back in the box and then in the drawer. "Penicillin allergies are common enough that it's easily avoidable these days. Finish getting ready for bed, okay? I'll bring you in a change of clothes. Drop your dirty ones in the basket."

I nod.

Ren leaves but sets a pair of underwear on the counter a minute later. "Get into bed when you're done. I'm going to grab a couple bottles of water."

Sometimes, I used to imagine what it would be like to not have to think about anything. Especially when you're with someone new, you don't want to presume even the small things. Like maybe it's insulting if I get into bed without him telling me it's time.

This takes the guesswork out. I don't have to question what he expects or wants from me. I can just do it. Knowing that makes everything else around those decisions easier. More enjoyable. I swear, I can think clearly.

When I climb into bed, a yawn overtakes me. But I don't sleep yet. Not until Ren is in bed too. I need to see him before I close my eyes. Just to remind myself that I'm really here. He's really here. And he wants me.