39. Vivian

39

VIVIAN

JANUARY 3, 12:15 A.M.

I stare at Lily, dumbfounded. She's just explained it all, how Coach found Marty's burner and set up the meeting with Margot, how he killed her. Coach, the only adult at Beaumont I really trusted. Who pushed me, on and off the field. Who never bullshitted me.

Or so I thought. Because not even twenty-four hours ago, when I asked him if he saw anything at the ball, he looked me dead in the eyes and made up a whole story about Lily leaving in a black Mercedes. He acted sorry for not knowing more. Meanwhile, he knew exactly where Lily was. He did this. And I trusted him.

I know it's not her fault, but somehow, it still feels like it.

"How do you know all this?" I demand.

Lily tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, still so infuriatingly calm.

"After Margot died, I wasn't sure if I bought the whole overdose story, but I tried not to think about it. I told myself maybe she really had just gone off the deep end when Marty broke things off. And then I didn't get into Vanderbilt, and everything fell apart."

I stare at her, but she seems dead serious. "What does Vanderbilt have to do with this?"

"I never wanted to go," she says. "I didn't really know it until Piper submitted that crap essay with my application, but when I realized what she did… I was honestly relieved. I'd been basically killing myself to get in, and for what? My parents? So they could keep forcing me to live up to their expectations and then freaking out when I couldn't? But I still didn't know if the essay was enough to get me out of it. Not with my family's connections. So I tanked the interview." A little smile flickers on her lips, almost like she's proud, but it fades quickly. "But Dad found out. Of course he did. He called the admissions office as soon as I got my rejection and demanded an explanation."

In the mess of all the other lies, this one still hurts, somehow. Lily threw her interview. I thought she was devastated about getting rejected, but she didn't even want to go, and I had no idea.

"Once he figured out what I'd done, he was madder than I've ever seen him. Screaming. Threatening to cut me off, make me take a gap year and stay trapped at home while I reapplied. When he sent me to my room, he slammed the door so hard that the wood splintered." Lily's lip twitches, like she can still feel it. "And then, later that night, Marty came over. I could hear his voice downstairs. I waited up in my room until late, after my mom went to bed, and then, when I couldn't take it anymore, I snuck down. My dad and Marty were in his office. The door was shut, but I could hear them talking. They were trying to figure out how to get me back into Vanderbilt. Dad was worried another donation wouldn't be enough, so… Marty suggested they use the Pierrot."

Goose bumps break out over my skin.

"They were thinking about recruiting the director of admissions," Lily says. "Marty was digging into the guy's personal life to see if there was anything they could hold over him, but if not… the admissions guy had two sons. Marty said maybe they could plant pills on one of them, get them caught cheating at school, something like that. Something big enough that if they went to the admissions guy to offer the Pierrot's protection, he'd have to take it."

"Marty wanted to blackmail him?"

"At the Pierrot, they think of it more like an exchange of favors. Brothers supporting brothers." Her lip curls a little as she says it, like it does whenever she's annoyed but won't admit it. "Anyway, I don't know if they ever got around to it. I'd guess the whole Marty-kidnapping-me thing probably got in the way."

My stomach twists. Somehow, I almost forgot where we are, the dingy mattress and creepy Mardi Gras paraphernalia Lily's been living with for almost a week.

"What happened?" I ask. "How did he…"

"After I overheard them talking about the Pierrot, I knew I couldn't leave it alone," she says. "But I needed Dad to trust me again. So I acted all apologetic about the interview, and it worked. He forgave me. Or, at least, he and Mom were too focused on the ball to care about anything else. Then, while they weren't paying attention, I did some digging. I looked through Dad's computer for everything I could find about the Pierrot. And it took some convincing, but I even got Wyatt to sneak me in."

Hearing his name, the email hits me all over again, and so does the guilt. Lily is probably the one person who hasn't seen it. I know I should tell her, but the words won't come out. I can't lose her forever barely an hour after finding her again.

"And once I saw what goes on there…"

"I know," I cut in. "We went, too."

Lily nods, looking grateful that she doesn't have to explain it. "I asked some people there if they knew Margot. I had a feeling Marty brought her. But a few of the guys, when I mentioned Margot… they got all weird. I knew something was off, but I figured it was just because Les Masques girls weren't supposed to be there. But then, a few days later, I found the burner phone." She buries her hands deeper in her sleeves, wrapping them around herself. "It was in Coach's office. I figured he was probably in the Pierrot, too, so I looked through his stuff, and the phone was in his desk, just sitting there. I guess he was too stupid to ditch it. Or maybe he wanted something to hold over Marty."

A fresh wave of nausea hits. All the times in the past year that I've been in Coach's office, stopping by to ask about the game schedule or even just say hi… that burner must have been there. Proof that he killed her, just waiting for someone to find.

"Once I saw those texts, I knew for sure," Lily says. "I had to do something."

"So you came up with the stunt at the ball."

She raises an eyebrow, almost impressed.

"Wyatt told us that was you," I explain.

Now she looks annoyed again. "That was only part of it. I didn't tell him all the details, obviously, but it was supposed to be a distraction. They'd never suspect me of ruining my own big night, so of course they'd think someone else was behind it. I figured Wyatt would be a good fall guy if I needed one."

"A fall guy?" I repeat. "You used him."

She laughs. "Come on. It's not like he's innocent."

For a second, I'm frozen. Lily knows. Did she see the email somehow? Did she know all along? But then she brushes past it, and I realize that must not be what she meant at all.

"Anyway, the ball was only the first step. The real point was to have everyone so distracted that they wouldn't notice what I did next."

"You texted us to meet you at the Den," I guess, pushing down the guilt. "That was the next step?"

Lily nods. "I was going to tell y'all everything. You, April, and Piper. And then…" She pauses for long enough that I'm worried she's not going to say it. "I was going to leave."

"Leave?" I gape. "Like…"

"Like, run away. Drain my parents' bank account and get the hell out."

And there it is, straight from her mouth. She was going to run. Wyatt told me that Lily didn't care about me enough to tell me, and I wouldn't believe him. I still don't believe it.

"That doesn't make sense," I argue. "Why would you leave?"

"Because I didn't have a choice."

"That's not true. You could have told me what was going on. Or your parents. Or—"

"You don't get it, Vivian," she snaps, sharp enough to make me go quiet. "I couldn't do it anymore. This city. My family. They had my whole life planned out: graduate from Beaumont, go to Vanderbilt, be Queen of Deus when I'm twenty-one, which would be the highlight of my sad little life. Then I'd marry Wyatt or some richer, better version of him, have kids, force them to do Les Masques, and be miserable until it's time to bury me in the goddamn LeBlanc mausoleum. There was no other way out. Not unless I blew everything up and ran."

I watch her, the tears in her bright blue eyes. She means every word. I've always thought that from the moment she was born and brought back to that wedding-cake mansion on St. Charles Avenue, Lily had the perfect life. But the way she's describing it, perfect sounds a lot like hell.

But it doesn't make this any less ridiculous.

"So, what—you were going to drop this bomb on me, April, and Piper and then leave us to deal with the fallout?"

Lily wipes a tear away and looks at me hard.

"Y'all would know what to do. I knew you would. Piper's a supergenius, April's this secret badass, and you… Viv, you're like the strongest person I know."

Even with everything else she's said, everything she's done, those words melt over me like butter. But it only makes my next question hurt more.

"Then why didn't you give me a heads-up?" I ask. "If I'm supposed to be your best friend, why didn't you just tell me the truth?"

"I was going to," Lily argues. "But just before I left the ball, I got a text from this random number saying they knew what I was planning, and they had information that would change everything."

The text I saw her get outside of the country club. That must be what she's talking about.

"It was Coach and Marty," I realize.

Lily nods. "Obviously, I know that now. But I still didn't have all the proof I needed—not anything undeniable, something the Pierrot couldn't twist against us. So whoever sent that text, I figured maybe they could help. But I was careful about it. I mean, I thought so. I'd already stashed the burner in the darkroom for y'all, and I scheduled that email to send the next morning in case anything went wrong. And I'm glad I did. Because when I got to the Den to meet them…" She gestures around us. "Well, here we are."

And then I see it: her hand, creeping up to touch her still-missing necklace. She sees me catch it, and her hand drops quickly, but it's too late.

"There's something you're not telling me."

She laughs. "Well, that would only be fair, right? You've been keeping a pretty big one from me."

Everything stops. She knew. Of course she knew. I should try to explain, beg for forgiveness, but right now, I'm too ashamed even to respond. Even now, when it's already happening, I'm too afraid to watch our friendship burn.

But then it hits me: Lily doesn't even seem mad.

"I mean, it was obvious. Not like I care." She brushes a piece of lint off her sleeve. "I broke up with Wyatt after the ball, anyway. So, really, he's all yours."

Like he's her scraps, the out-of-season clothes she'll lend me, knowing they'll be sizes too small. And it's not even that I care that much about Wyatt, not really. I know, now, that I liked him less than I liked the idea of being with him, of being loved the way he loves Lily. But it's because he's so irrelevant that, with all the other bullshit and horror of tonight, I can't let it go.

And then I understand.

"You didn't make this whole plan because you thought me, April, and Piper would know what to do," I say. "You were scared of what would happen if you told everyone the truth, so you left it for us to deal with. You put us in danger so you wouldn't have to be." Finally, it dawns on me. "You were punishing us."

"So what if I was?" she explodes. "You screwed my boyfriend. Piper sabotaged my Vanderbilt essay and thought I wouldn't notice. April hated me for no reason, and Margot still liked her more than me. Maybe y'all deserved it." She stands, suddenly serious, and comes close enough to look up at me. "But if you think that's the only reason I did this, Viv, then you don't fucking know me at all."

"Yeah," I say, my voice scratchy. "Maybe I don't."

Before I can fully think through what I've just said, whether or not I mean it, I hear it. A scream.

I move to the door, ready to bang against it, but Lily's hand grips mine, stopping me. When I turn back to her, she's got the look she always gives me on the field when I'm getting too impulsive: Slow down, Viv.

"They have April and Piper," I whisper. "We have to do something."

"What are we supposed to do? We're trapped."

I press my ear to the door. I don't hear anything, and somehow, the silence is worse than anything. Before I can chicken out, I reach for the knob. Lily stiffens beside me.

"Wait," she says. "Don't—"

The door gives way, opening with a force so unexpected, I stumble back. For a second, I'm stunned, staring at the open door like it's some kind of fake-out, but no. It's real.

I turn to Lily, expecting her to be just as shocked, but the guilty look on her face tells me she knows what I should have from the moment the door opened.

It was never even locked.