21. Calista

21

CALISTA

I see Ti's truck pull into his mom's drive, and I know I need to make the first move to apologize for behaving so poorly this morning. I'd like to think the show is for me. To prove to myself I can do the right thing.

But really, I'm hoping he'll…

I stop myself when I realize where the thought is going.

I'm not a silly teenage girl trying to impress a boy, and yet, that's what I want to do. I want to show him I'm a grown-up. I want to show him I'm capable of handling this maturely. And I want him to take me into those strong arms of his and kiss my face off.

Or something like that.

I check my watch. I know Melanie will be back to the house shortly. So, I step upstairs and check in on Mom. She's sleeping while some crime procedural plays in the background.

I tug my coat off the hook, slip on my new boots that were delivered this afternoon, and jog out to the drive, but I miss him. He's already in his mom's house.

My breath catches as the cold air hits the back of my throat.

The right thing to do is knock on Mrs. Williams's door, but something stops me.

"Big-girl pants," I mutter to myself.

I force myself across the drive and knock on the door. When it opens, Mrs. Williams meets my expectations.

"I was wondering if you'd get the nerve to come by," she says.

She's aged. Not like Mom has, but in the silver sprinkle of gray that weaves through her hair and the additional lines around her eyes and mouth that tell me she's laughed a lot since I last saw her.

"Hello, Mrs. Williams."

She folds her arms, not stepping out of the way and ushering me in from the cold like she always used to. It's so Omari to make me work for it.

"I owe you an apology. It's hard to articulate all the things I'm sorry for. But running without properly explaining why is perhaps the biggest. I'm sorry I left you all behind, but on another day, I'll come and explain it all to you with Tiberius."

Omari narrows her eyes. "You better. And you're not forgiven. Yet."

"I completely understand."

Finally, she stands back, but she doesn't give me one of her famous hugs. The kind where you just disappear into her arms, pressed up against her cushiony frame, and take a breath for a moment.

And I hadn't realized how much I needed one until right this moment.

"I know we're not friends again, yet, but I could really do with one of your hugs."

Her eyes soften for a moment, and she finally opens her arms to me.

It feels just like I remember. The warmth and quiet strength of home. She always treated me like one of her own kids, and in the last decade, I've been starved for a mother's hug.

"Calista," Vex says as he steps into the hallway.

Mrs. Williams releases me. "I'll let the two of you talk, but you better come see me before you disappear to the other side of the country again."

I nod and realize that I'm a little choked up. But I bite back the tears. I don't want this to be a poor me speech. And it's so weak to stand before a man, trying to be serious, with tears and mascara dripping down your face.

"Hey," I say, when Mrs. Williams has disappeared toward the kitchen.

"That was some childish shit, running from my house like we did something wrong," he says.

"I know. That's why I'm here. To apologize. I should have told you I was leaving."

Vex raises his arm, placing his fingertips on the doorframe above him. It's cold, he's standing in a long-sleeve Henley, and I can still see the delicious pop of his bicep. "Or you should have stayed and talked with me about whatever it was that spurred you into bolting from my home in the dark."

"Can you talk now?"

"Yeah, but not here. Let's go back to my place."

"But you just arrived. Was there something you needed to do for your mom?"

He grabs his coat off the hook. "Was just checking in on her before I came looking for you."

Something deep in my belly warms. "You were going to come looking for me?"

He huffs. "That's what I said."

The truck beeps as he unlocks the door, but I've barely had time to open it before Ti picks me up and sits me on the seat. The move shouldn't be so panty dropping.

"I'm more than capable of getting into a truck by myself. I can?—"

"Shut up, babe," Ti says as he closes the door.

The way he says it brings a smile to my lips. It's a playful shut up .

It's a quick ride to his house, and we park in front of it. "Déjà vu," I say quietly.

"Or Groundhog Day," Ti says.

I turn to face him. For some reason, I feel compelled to tell him in the safety of the truck. Before we step into his home. "I was scared, Ti."

He shifts in his seat. "Why?"

I sigh. "I was so in love with you. Back then. I don't know if what happened last night was a throwback to those feelings or a response to the now. And anything with you feels like, because of our history, more than a casual one-night stand. But you live here, and I live in California. And the world I've built out there is really important to me. I needed last night to be casual in my mind to be able to handle it. But…"

Ti reaches for my hand and squeezes gently. "But?"

"It can't be casual between us, can it?"

He cups my cheek. "I don't think it can be casual, but I also don't know how we would ever make it permanent. But is that a good enough reason to not even try?"

"Not sure my heart could take the breakup again."

Ti grunts. "If we're talking facts, we weren't ever together before."

I slap his chest. "You know what I mean."

He leans over the armrest and kisses me softly. "I do know what you mean. I don't know how long you're going to be here. But maybe something that matters is better than something casual, even if neither lasts."

I think about his words. "There's so much in the air. I don't know how to manage it. All this stuff going on with Mom, the things I have going on with work that I just can't drop." I look at him. "You."

"If I'm a burden you have to figure out, then we're doing this wrong. Let me be the one who lightens the load. Let me be the one who helps you escape for as many precious seconds as you can spare."

The sincerity in his words is overwhelming, but… "You make it sound like I'd be using you."

"Would you?"

I think about his words. About the way it made me feel. The relief that, for once, I wasn't in this all on my own. I shake my head. "No. I would never do that. You were too important to me to do that."

He touches my cheek, his thumb easing across my cheekbone. "You feeling overwhelmed?"

"I'm used to carrying a lot. Can't be a CEO without big shoulders."

Vex tuts. "I didn't ask if you had big shoulders or if you are used to carrying a lot. I asked if you were overwhelmed. Like, is there a gnawing ball of stress eating away at your stomach? When you take a deep breath, does your heart drop, or your chest struggle to open up and allow air into your lungs? If I checked your heart rate, would it be elevated like you just ran a hundred-meter sprint in ten seconds?"

I glance away and look out the window to where Ti's trees are wrapped in burlap. The man even knows how to care for shrubbery. Maybe it's time I let him care for me a little. Even if it's only for now.

"Yes," I say. "I'm utterly overwhelmed, Ti. But I don't want you to feel like you need to make me your problem. And I have funny feelings about learning to rely on you when this has an expiration date on it."

Ti reaches for my chin and turns me so I face him. "How about you let me worry about me? I have an idea. One to turn your brain off. Do you trust me?"

I sing. "What about everything I just said?"

"I heard it. I'm processing it. But nothing I think of is going to change what I want to do next. Do you trust me?"

"I do."

He nods. "Get out of the truck, Cal. When we get inside, I don't want to hear anything from you. ‘ Red ' is your safe word."

It's impossible to process the last few minutes. That he wants to be here. That he wants me to trust him. But red .

"I'm going to need a safe word?"

Ti smiles in a way that heats my bones. "Hopefully not. It's a precaution."

"I'm going to need more details than that. Like, you're not going to whip me or anything wild, are you?"

Ti shakes his head. "You need a procedural manual, or are you just going to trust that I don't want to hurt you?"

I shake my head. "In business, I normally negotiate and sign everything before I do anything with anyone."

"Then this should be a good learning experience for you, that sometimes you can trust another person to take care of you."

"I thought in most kink conversations, there's meant to be a lot of conversation and negotiation beforehand."

He grins. "Usually is. I feel like what you need is to be absolved of all that and just let go because I got you."

"So, you're saying this is the sexual equivalent of a trust fall?"

Ti laughs, a deep, throaty rumble. "Sure, it's a fucking trust fall, babe. Now, get out of the truck."

I do as he says, but the cool trickle of nervous excitement flows through me. First, I have a very strong suspicion that I'm about to have sex with the man who got me enough out of my head to come twice. And second, there's a nervous sexual anticipation as to why I need a safe word.

When we reach the door, he unlocks it, but before he pushes it open to let us inside, he says, "Not a word, remember?"

I nod. My mouth is so dry, I'm not sure I could formulate a sentence anyway.

He steps in and switches off the alarm, then closes the door behind me.

The first shock is that Ti undresses me once we're inside. He drops to his knees to remove my boots, but he doesn't stop there. I glance around, checking every window, and find that no one can see me.

The second is, he remains clothed as he takes my hand and leads me down the hall to the end room with the closed door, which I had assumed was another guest bedroom.

And it is…of sorts.

There is a bed, but it's pushed up against one wall. What occupies the center of the space is a round platform. And around it and above it is a series of pulleys and hooks.

And on the wall, on hooks, is red rope and red ribbons.

"You're—"

"Knees, babe."

Oh, God. I'm not supposed to talk.

He's going to tie me up, suspend me, and do who knows what to me.

But even as panic battles with anticipation and excitement, I don't say another word.