Seventy-Seven Camilla

I hit at his hand as he dragged me further down the hall. “Let go of me.”

Vincent ignored my struggles, his grip tightening to the point of pain. I thought about whipping out a string of magic and cutting his arm off at the elbow.

“Would you stop?” he scolded, leading me into a room and shutting the door behind us.

“Let me go.”

“So you can run away? Do you really think you’d escape this place? That people have not tried?” he snapped at me.

“Fucking Kaden,” I sneered. “Sorry he ruined your little date, but I just wanted to leave that stupid party.”

He laughed and spun me to face him. “Please, do not lie to me. I recognized that defiance and determination on your face from across the room.”

“Oh, did you? I’m surprised you can see anything besides her.”

“You’re one to talk,” he snapped back.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing.” He scowled and released me.

I stalked away from him. This room was too damn small with him in it. Fragrant candles burned on the desk, and a large globe bristling with pins sat nearby.

Turning toward him, I lifted the hem of my dress and snapped, “Are you still sleeping with her?”

“Why would you ask me that?” he snarled, his head whipping toward me.

My chest heaved. My already unstable emotions had gone haywire the second that door closed. I hadn’t talked to him in days, yet it felt longer. I’d been trapped in my damn routine again, and I was losing it.

“You are, aren’t you?” I huffed. “What? You get worked up with me, then run to her to finish the job?”

His lips thinned, his brow darkening in anger. He took a step toward me. “Is that what you think?”

We danced around each other. Vincent stalked me like a predator, but I was done giving him what he wanted. Every step he took, I countered, staying out of his reach. I was just so . . . frustrated with him. The stolen glances and midnight kisses had heightened my need and made me . . . hope. He made me believe that maybe there could be something, that maybe I wasn’t alone. Then I had to watch him put his hand on her waist and laugh with her as they danced. The way she couldn’t keep her hands off of him made my blood boil.

“You know, you talk a big game when it comes to her, but gods, do you play your part right. You can’t keep your hands off each other. And don’t even try to lie to me. I know it isn’t all just for show. I heard the two of you together the night before last.”

“Camilla.” He reached for me, but I darted away, heading for the door. I was beyond mad, but the heartbreak threatened to bring me to my knees. Here I was, second best again. It was the same in everything. No matter what I did or how powerful I was, I was still not enough. Not for her, for my family or the world, and not for him. Tears pricked my eyes, and I blindly ran the last few steps to the door. I couldn’t let him see me cry. I refused to give him my pain.

His hand slammed against the door, shutting it and cutting off my exit. I leaned my forehead against the door, willing my tears not to fall. He braced his hands on either side of my head, and I could feel his powerful form towering over me.

“As if you have any right to say that to me when you have Kaden following you around like a leashed pet. Everyone saw it down there, how you can’t keep your hands and mouths off each other.”

So Kaden’s ruse had worked. It didn’t matter. All of this back and forth was just a prelude to the inevitable. Nismera’s claws were in Vincent far too deep, and I’d never had a chance.

“Me?” I scoffed and turned around to face him. I leaned back against the door, his scent and the heat of his body surrounding me. I threw my next words at him with every bit of the hurt and pain I felt. “Please, I saw the way you looked at her, how you smiled at her when you can’t even look at me. It’s bullshit. I took care of you when your king left you to rot in that bed. She didn’t even care if you lived or died. Did you know that? I sure as fuck did. I made sure your wounds didn’t fester and kept you alive, yet your unwavering loyalty still bends to her every whim. Why do you let her do whatever she wants?” The last part left my lips on a cry.

Vincent dropped his gaze. “What choice do I have?” he asked, and even though he didn’t move away from me, I felt him drawing back.

This time, I wouldn’t let him retreat back into that persona he wore so well. I wouldn’t let him hide behind his fear of Nismera and her retribution, going back to pretending he cared for nothing and no one.

“Me,” I whispered. “You have me.”

Something broke and cracked within him. I felt it, watched as his body went rigid, the veins along his forearms bulging as if he were trying to will himself to say something but was blocked.

“I can’t,” he gasped the words.

“You can, though.” I grabbed his arms and gazed up at him. “And if not, I refuse to let this be my life. I will not have half of you. Stolen kisses behind closed doors are not enough. I will not stay here under her rule. I will leave when I get the chance, despite the risk of her killing me if I am caught, but I refuse to be a ghost here, unfulfilled and lonely.” His eyes dilated at my words, his chest heaving. My fingers dug into his arms. “Fight, Vincent. Fight for something you want for once. Otherwise, let her kill you. Because this? This is not living. Not for you and not for me.”

Something flickered in his eyes. Hope, promise, or maybe determination, but it was a change, nonetheless. I had half a second to guess before his lips crushed mine. It wasn’t sweet or slow as before. No, this was feral, wild, and possessive. I gasped as his hands cupped the back of my head, and he tilted my head. His fingers wove into my hair, and he tugged, demanding entrance. My lips parted, and he deepened the kiss, his tongue running across mine in a hot, blazing trail. My arms wrapped around him, my nails digging into his back.

A desperate moan escaped him as he pushed his body against me. I gasped as his mouth left mine, trailing hungry kisses along my jaw and neck. No, this wasn’t like before.

I pushed against his chest, panting. “Don’t kiss me after you’ve been with her!”

“I haven’t,” he whispered against my throat before lifting his head. His hands framed my face, forcing me to look at him. “For months now. She has left me alone, focusing on whatever power she’s obsessed with now.”

“But she has been visiting you, using you again.”

His eyes darted to my lips. “Tedar died because of Dianna. She destroyed his entire legion. It was the final call to war for Nismera. Nismera is worried that the rebels see Dianna as their new hope, so she . . . The East is no more, but she has had me commanding the soldiers as they retrieve parts for a weapon.”

My chest heaved, and my pulse quickened, but I knew what I’d heard. “But I heard,” I said, wanting to believe so much, but I would not ignore what I knew. “I went to check on you the other night, and I heard you in your room. The sounds . . .”

Vincent stood a fraction taller, pressing every hard edge of himself into me. He stepped between my legs and ground his hardness where I ached for him, those cerulean blue eyes burning as he stared down at me.

“Myself.” His thumb caressed my lips in one sweep, and he thrust his hips against me. “After you got me worked up, as you put it.”

My chest felt lighter at his words, but my core went heavy and burned, thinking of him pleasuring himself. We stared at each other, the truth nipping at us. We were in way over our heads, and there was no easy solution for the predicament each of us was in.

Vincent stared down at me, his body heavy against mine, one breath, then two, as if contemplating what he was doing. His hand left my face and dipped to my shoulder, brushing the stray hairs from my collarbone before placing his hand not just atop my breast but over my heart.

“Vincent.” My voice was as breathless as I felt.

“Don’t.” His eyes darted to mine, and I knew this was a mistake. “Don’t leave me. I’ve hurt and pushed everyone away, everyone that meant anything. You are all I have now.”

My lashes lowered, shuttering my expression, hiding my confusion. That’s what this was. My words had hit some part he’d buried damn deep, and it had raged forward. I sighed and swallowed back my tears and sorrow. Maybe I was never meant for a happily ever after, but I could stand by this broken man. I would stand by him because it was already too late for me.

My hand caressed the side of his face. “I won’t leave you.” I placed a kiss on his lips and then pulled back a fraction. “We go together or not at all. Deal?”

He nodded, our breaths mingling before his lips crushed mine.