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Six Dianna

Samkiel kissed me once more before leaving to meet the queen. My smile dropped from my face the second the door closed behind him.

“What?”

The air stirred as Reggie formed. “You made a mess in Tarr.” I fell from the sky amidst a rush of flames, my wings fanning the fire. Soldiers yelled and brandished their weapons. The townspeople, not hiding, watched from their windows, gaping at the brutality. My form shifted, the dark mist swirling around me before dissipating. I walked forward, yanking a sword from the gut of a fallen soldier as I stepped over him. I stopped in front of the lot of them and raised the bloody weapon. My fangs scraped across the metal as I licked the blood dripping from the blade. This would be a nice way to release some steam.

Eyes narrowed behind the gold and black plated armor, and they shuffled, stepping back as if they had anywhere left to run. These were Nismera’s, and they weren’t leaving. I raised the sword between us, pointing to the largest brute.

“Who wants to die first?”

No one moved, and as a group, they held their breath.

I sneered at them in disgust and stepped onto the body of the downed soldier, using his head as a step. I spun to face the watchful city. Spreading my arms wide, I yelled, “Let it be known that I do not fear your wretched king. Know and tell all, I will hunt every being who wears her colors or screams her name in praise. I will feast on you and your loved ones, making you watch as I do it. Nismera will be a footnote in history, and all who follow her will die screaming.”

A soldier charged forward, and I twisted my sword, piercing him through the middle.

“Like that.” I yanked the sword from his body and tossed him to the ground, not bothering to see who closed and locked their doors and windows first. It was time to send a message.

“I might have been a little dramatic.” A small smile lifted my lips as I turned toward him. “You said to cause a distraction in the East. I did. They think I’m there. They will never look toward the west of the realms.”

“A distraction, yes, not a taunt.” Reggie’s gaze didn’t falter. “You made a bloody mess. You burned and tore her soldiers to pieces. That’s an act of war for Nismera. Did you not think I’d see the colorful note you left her? She knows.”

I snickered. “Does she? What was that like?”

“Dianna,” Reggie said, exasperated.

“I thought I did a good job.”

“It is not a game,” Reggie said. “Her power is unparalleled. There is a reason she has so many allies that bend so freely to her. Powerful, terrible allies.”

“Like you once were?” My head tilted toward him.

Reggie did not falter. “And I betrayed her for you.”

He did. He had when he helped me get to Samkiel and then in the tunnels.

“I know. That’s why you’re still breathing,” I said and moved to the balcony, stepping over the scattered food and broken plates.

“Did you see anything from their memories? A location, perhaps?”

My body froze. “No.”

“No?” he asked.

I hadn’t told him that my blooddreams seemed to stop after I woke up on the slab in those tunnels. I assumed it was due to being drained, but I was still unsure.

“My head is just scattered,” I lied. “Maybe I just can’t see anything right now? Maybe I overate, and all the noise just canceled out. I don’t know.”

Reggie glanced at me in disbelief, but I knew he wouldn’t push it. One thing I could rely on with fate is that he already knew it and was testing me, waiting for me to figure it out since, technically, he was not supposed to intervene. I wouldn’t tell him how thoroughly he had already failed at that. His eyes flicked toward the room.

“He needs to know.”

“Which part?” I smiled innocently.

“All of it,” Reggie said. “But most importantly, his demise.”

Demise. That word rattled my bones. It made it seem so permanent, but it wasn’t. Samkiel was alive . . . very alive and whole if this morning was any indicator. Yet still, as if death’s cold embrace waited in the corner, I halted. No, we were fine. Everything was fine. Nothing waited in the shadows of my room. I was just experiencing another weird symptom of my grief. Sucking in a breath, I waved Reggie’s comment off and started to clean up the mess we’d made.

“You’re hiding him away from the world,” Reggie said.

I stopped with a broken dish in my hand. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“What of The Hand?”

The dish shattered in my grip, and I swallowed the growing lump in my throat. I slowly turned toward him. He stared back at me, not wilting beneath my glare.

“Am I wrong?”

“They’re dead anyway, in case you forgot.”

“Do you really feel that way?” Reggie asked with the slightest bit of censure in his tone. “This family you found and grew to love, you truly believe they are gone and will do nothing?”

No. I didn’t. I felt . . . I sucked in a breath, trying to calm not only my nerves but my anger.

“Don’t do that!” I snapped back.

“Do what?” he countered.

“Act as if you don’t know I killed Azrael because he couldn’t be saved.”

“Your father,” Reggie corrected as if he’d actually been that to me.

“Azrael.” I dragged the name out, letting it hang in the air. “Because he couldn’t break the hold. They are just as dead. He said it. You really think I want Samkiel to see the ones he loves the most that way, or worse, they try to kill him?”

Reggie clasped his hands in front of him. “And does Samkiel know this?”

I dropped the plate and advanced on him, stopping a hair away from him to hiss, “Don’t you dare tell him!”

“It will not be enough for him, and you know it. Regardless of why you wish to keep them separated, he will not rest until he finds them.”

“You don’t think I know that? But there is no way he’s even remotely strong enough or ready to go searching.”

“Then get him ready. Help him.” Reggie didn’t back down, and for a second, I was worried as to why. It sent a chill down my spine to see him this persistent.

“For what? Another disappointment?” I turned away from Reggie, blowing out a breath.

“Are we speaking about him or you?”

My fists clenched at my sides. I hated how right Reggie was at times. “Listen, he just needs a break and time to heal before he sets out on another heroic mission. He’s not ready. The wound hasn’t fully healed. He’s still sore and can’t move in certain ways without severe pain.”

Reggie only glanced at the mess on the balcony before meeting my eyes. “Or perhaps you are not ready.”

I said nothing for a moment, but I knew the truth, and so did he. I couldn’t imagine if the roles were reversed. If Gabby’s mind had been taken over, and she’d tried to kill me. I wouldn’t have been able to do it. I’d much rather turn the blade on myself, and I feared he might have to face that, too. He loved them deeply. Maybe I was keeping him away from that pain. He had shielded me from such. How could I say I cared about him and not try to protect him, even if it made me seem heartless? I also knew the one harrowing truth that would make even Samkiel hate me if he knew of it.

“My father, as you like to put it, raised a weapon to me in those caves while under that spell,” I said, pausing to make sure I had Reggie’s attention. “A spell he created. He fought, but he wasn’t strong enough. Samkiel needs to be if we encounter them because if they raise a weapon to him, try to hurt him, Hand or not, I’ll kill them myself.”

Reggie nodded as if finally understanding why I hesitated, but when I really looked at his expression, I wondered if maybe he’d just wanted me to say it out loud.

“You are amata. I’d expect no less.”

I nodded and returned to the mess on the floor, determined to clean it up. Despite my words and bravado, my entire life felt out of my control. I couldn’t even tell him of the fear that lived in me that I would still lose Samkiel. No matter what else might happen, I could fix this.

“Has he inquired more about that?” Reggie asked as I passed him, dumping bits of fruit and bread in the trash.

“Only every day, in some way or fashion,” I said, heading back to the balcony.

“And what do you tell him?”

A harsh laugh left me as I knelt. “Oh, I say, yeah, babe. So we had a mark. It only formed when you died, and I threatened the universe to get you back. It was there for a while, then disappeared, and fate and I have no idea what that means. Oh, by the way, did I mention you died?” I glared at Reggie as I stood up, making my way back inside to the trash.

“How did he take it?”

“Reggie.” I shook my head. “I’m lying, just like I am to him. I haven’t told him, and I don’t know how or what my price is for him being back.”

“You need to,” Reggie said again.

“I know,” I said, tossing the pieces of broken plates away. “Reggie, I will. I just don’t know how, and a part of me worries that if I say it out loud, he will disappear. You know, I watch him sleep just to make sure he’s breathing. I feel like I am going insane.”

Reggie watched me make another pass by him, continuing to clean up and carry things to the trash. He waited for me to stop and look at him before saying, “If Nismera learns he is still alive—”

“She won’t,” I interrupted and nodded toward the balcony. I needed air. Reggie followed behind me.

“Nismera will hunt you, and if she gets close to you, she gets close to him.”

My hands splayed across the ledge. “She won’t.”

Reggie sighed as he stood next to me. “How can you be so sure?”

The breeze shifted across the hairs along my hand, causing me to wrap one around my ear. “I’ve been doing this far longer than you have. I’m pretty sure I know how to be the villain.”

“Is that what you wish? Do you want to build a throne out of fear?”

“One, I’m not building a throne. I’m carving a path of blood and destruction to hide him from the world. Second, do you think they follow Nismera because they like her? They listen to her, including Kaden, because they fear her. If anyone made a throne from it, it’s her.”

Reggie ran a hand over his face. “Your methods are not ideal. I am just afraid that with one slight mishap, she will learn he is alive.”

My heart clenched because I knew her first order would be to kill him permanently, and no matter how tough I thought I was, I knew her power was greater than mine.

“I’m afraid, too,” I admitted. “Afraid if she does, I won’t be able to stop her. Samkiel gets worn out even with the smallest use of power right now. He thinks I don’t notice, but I notice everything about him. Nismera has a whole legion at her beck and call. Allies, his two hateful brothers, and I don’t know shit about these realms.”

“To admit fear is a sign of true strength. I hope you are aware of that. By saying it, you take that control back.”

I glanced at Reggie, knowing now that was what he’d wanted. He wanted me to say it out loud, to admit the truth. Maybe he was worried, as Samkiel was, that I’d regress and hide my feelings. But I was not the same woman they had met on Onuna, and I’d never be again.

“I do know one thing more than any,” I said, holding his gaze.

“What’s that?”

“No matter what, I will kill anyone and everything to make sure she doesn’t find him. Even if he hates me or I die in the process.”

His eyes bore into mine, but I meant every single word I said. I was finally comfortable in my own skin, happy with who I was, and no matter what, I wouldn’t let that change. For the first time in centuries, I knew who I was. Samkiel may have died in that tunnel, but the part of me that was conflicted about the darkness living within me died with Gabby. Anything good in me didn’t survive the loss of them.

The balcony grew silent. Wind whistled between us as the clouds rolled in, fog forming at our feet with how high we were above the planet.

“There is one other matter I need you to consider seriously.” Reggie focused on me, his expression as grim as I had ever seen it.

“What now?” I all but rolled my eyes.

“Resurrection is forbidden for a reason. It has not been performed for any reason. Even the strongest, most deadly necromancer can only revive tissue, not the soul. Who knows what it has done to you and him? What if it is not permanent? If he is not permanent?”

“Don’t,” I said, unable to keep the growl from my voice. I wouldn’t even allow myself to think about the possibility of that.

“I am not trying to upset you, but you need to consider all possible outcomes. Even for yourself.”

My head whipped to him. “Why are you being so headstrong about this? It’s been weeks. If something were going to happen, it would have by now. I mean, he seems—”

“My visions are sporadic. Some come in waves or fragments, but they are all broken.”

Dread clenched my gut, goosebumps flecking my skin. “What?”

Reggie shrugged a shoulder, and I realized he was slowly starting to seem more mortal than fate. “The whispers, the words from the universe, have never behaved this way before. I even have days where I see nothing but darkness, no matter how hard I manifest it. Whatever you did in that tunnel altered more than you think. The universe will always have its balance. There will always be consequences. I know mine, but what are yours?”

“Reggie.” I stood up straighter, reaching for his hand.

He pulled back. “I do not tell you this for pity, but you must be aware. If this has happened to me, what else has been altered? For you? For him?”

“I don’t care what happens to me,” I said, pulling my hand back, an easy, honest smile curving my lips because I meant it. “If you think I’ll ever regret it, you’re wrong.”

“I do not. I know your selflessness well, but I worry nonetheless.”

I clicked my tongue and smirked. “A fate with a heart. Who would have thought?”

The tension between us seemed to melt away then. Reggie cocked his head with a small smirk. It was such a mortal expression from one so ancient. “Perhaps I have just been in your presence for far too long.”

“If I’m your role model, you’re definitely fucked.” My chuckle made even fate’s lips twitch.

“You are far too hard on yourself.”

“Maybe, but now that you’ve mentioned it, could this be what is affecting Samkiel’s healing?” I asked. “I mean, it’s been weeks, and while it’s better, it’s still bad.”

“They think you two being unable to stay off of each other is slowing the healing process,” Reggie said, glancing at the half-cracked table behind us.

I snorted even as heat flushed my cheeks. “Kissing and sex are two very different things. We just had sex this morning for the first time in weeks. That is not the problem.”

“I am only telling you what they whisper,” Reggie said. “Everyone has heard the hidden moans after training or between his healing sessions. They are only concerned.”

The smile on my face was pure mischief. It was true that we hadn’t had sex until this morning, but that didn’t stop Samkiel from kissing and touching me since he awoke. For days, I’d been so damn worried when he hadn’t even opened his eyes. When he did, I needed that closeness.

A week after he woke, we had attempted to be together fully, only for him to nearly pass out from the pain. Since then, we hadn’t gone further than his hands pressing and squeezing, dipping between my legs. It was more than sex for us. That intimacy was another way we proved we were alive and still together. Of course, orgasms are always a plus.

My eyes narrowed. “Concerned? Yeah, okay, I’ve seen the way they look at him. I think their only concern is if they can have a turn.” I looked at Reggie and put my hands on my hips. “It was the one with the ponytail, wasn’t it? She’s always watching him. I wonder if anyone would notice if I pushed her off the balcony. Wait, can they fly?”

Reggie made a noise of disgust and covered his face. “Dianna.”

I went on but noticed he didn’t answer if they could. “Listen, besides my murderous tendencies, I think the magical death spear that was shoved into his gut and ripped the realms open is what has slowed his healing. You know, the one he died from? Not us fooling around.”

Reggie nodded. “Well, yes, but we cannot tell them that, I presume? Maybe their healing techniques would be different if they knew what he was stabbed with?”

“No.”

“I merely mean it may speed the healing process.”

“And the process of our enemies knowing he is alive. I don’t trust them enough to share that. Besides, if they are these miraculous healers, they should’ve been able to heal it without knowing. We stick to our original plan. If anyone asks, he is a soldier from The Eye, and I’m the defected Ig’Morruthen.”

Reggie sighs and rubs a hand over his face. “Very well.”

I exhaled, watching him carefully. “Is there something else?”

I knew Reggie, knew those wheels were turning in his brain.

“How’s your appetite?”

I glanced toward the food piled in the small trash. I had brought enough for us both, thinking he’d eat first, but also to maintain the illusion I would, too. Over the last few weeks, I had tried to eat, but I couldn’t help how bland it tasted or how my stomach churned with every bite. I would wait until he was gone and hold out as long as I could before it came back up.

“Everything is . . .” I wanted to lie like I so casually did with Samkiel, but I feared Reggie had already seen the truth. “Bland, except . . .”

“Blood.”

The word hung between us.

“It’s all I want, all I crave now. It’s never been like this before. Even on Onuna, after Gabby passed, I could control it. If I don’t feed, staying in the same room with anything living is hard. The last time I remember it being this bad was when I was first turned.”

“When was the last time you fed?”

“Tarr.”

“That was over a month ago.”

“Well, I ate half an army. I thought it would last longer.” I took a shuddering breath and looked at Reggie. He was my friend, the only one I had right now, and I knew I could trust him even with everything that had happened. I glanced down at my hands to see I was sliding my fingers over the spot where my mark should have been. “When Samkiel and I were . . . I would never hurt him, but maybe you’re right. Maybe something is wrong with me.”

Reggie was silent for a moment, and I didn’t dare to look up. “Do you feel you are regressing?”

I nodded. “I feel I denied who I was for too long, and now it refuses to go back. My powers came back with a vengeance, but Kaden bled me out in that tomb. Perhaps there is no more celestial part of me left.”

Reggie sighed. “Perhaps it is more than that. You spoke of your dreams once when we returned. Do you still have them?”

My heart thundered. “Yes.”

“And?”

“And nothing has changed. It’s still that man sitting on that throne made of bones. All I see before I wake up is him beckoning me to him and then nothing.”

“Do you remember what he looks like? Perhaps a ruler of the Otherworld senses your power? Maybe he wishes for an alliance.”

I shivered, running my hands over my arms. “I don’t know. All I remember is walking through the darkest part of the world. There’s no noise, not even a breeze. It looks like a monstrous graveyard. Bones stick up in every direction as if a hundred massive beasts had fallen from the sky and died right there. I always take the same path through the mouth of the largest beast. The walls are dark and jagged, and he’s there, sitting, watching me. I see orange eyes and hair made of spikes.”

“Spikes?”

“Horns? I don’t know. Even in my dreams, it’s too hard to tell.” I rubbed my arms, a chill running across my body. “He doesn’t move, just sits like he’s waiting for something.”

“Do you see any type of armor?”

My lips pursed as I tried to recall. “His shoulders, yes, I suppose some type of armor, but it’s blurry. I don’t know. All I know is it’s happened a few times, and I’m startled awake as though he’s in the room with us every time.”

“I assume you haven’t told Samkiel this either?”

My eyes narrowed. “That I’m dreaming of another man? No, I haven’t. It’s just another thing I’ll have to explain when I tell him I brought him back to life.”

Reggie was nothing but cool and complacent as he turned from me. He watched the billowing pink-tinged clouds. “You should tell him soon, my queen. Secrets have buried rulers faster than any blade.”

Uneasiness swept in before I could smother it. Reggie was right. I needed to tell him, tell him everything, actually. I just didn’t know where to begin.

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