Twelve Miska

“All that means is we need to move up our timeline.”

Pots and pans rattled as I made my way into the kitchen. The voices always stopped when I entered. I wiped the sleep from my eyes as Sashau and Killie looked at me. Both were dressed for the day, their shimmering hair swept back from their faces with the royal blue of our queen on their lids.

“Am I-I,” I stuttered. “Did I miss an announcement?”

They looked at each other. It reminded me of the secrets they all shared and how I was always left out. I always assumed it was because I was the youngest or maybe because my mom took me away when I was a babe, but either way, I still was and always would be unwelcome.

“Yes,” Sashau said, circling the long table. “The queen requested dinner tonight with Cedaar. A big announcement or something.”

“Or something.” Killie snickered behind her, and Sashau waved her off.

“Oh.” I wiped my hands on my pajamas, not able to hide the nerves and my shaking hands. “I’ll need to prepare, then. I can help with whatever is needed.”

Stupid. I always did this, offering to help when they never wanted it or me. It seemed I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to fit in here, to belong, and the more I tried, the more they laughed or ignored me.

Sashau smiled, but the expression didn’t reach her eyes. The kitchen staff avoided us and kept busy, scurrying about their tasks. One healer walked in with a large assortment of flowers and vines, a few others following. Big dinner, indeed.

Sashau’s hand stayed on my shoulder as she led me out of the kitchen and into the hall.

“Actually, we do need your help.”

“Really?” I didn’t know why I sounded so happy, nor did I care. “Yes. I mean. Whatever it is, I wish to help.”

I CHANGED CLOTHES, HOPING THE LONG SHEER DRESS THEY GAVE ME looked appropriate. The dress was far too long for me, but none of the other girls here were even close to my age or height, so I made it work. I didn’t even realize I was smiling until I passed one healer, and they looked at me a little too long. I was just so happy they wanted my help and I could do something. It made me feel less alone. I neared the bathing chambers as voices picked up. I walked through the large cutout door, and the voices died.

The one Xio called Reggie stopped speaking and glanced toward me. The healers had whispered how he was probably Xio’s consort, but she never touched him like she did Cedaar, nor did they share the same longing glances or quick kisses. I told them he was just their friend, but they laughed at me, claiming I didn’t know anything, so I stopped talking.

“Hello, Miska of Vervannia.”

I smiled every time he said that. Reggie had caught me outside late one night. I had escaped my room to read my mother’s journal in peace. We had talked, and I shared some of my past with him. He’d said that he didn’t sleep much, and most of the time, I didn’t either. He said there was a word in Xio’s language that described my nighttime routines, but I could never pronounce it. It made me happy that he remembered my mother’s home. It made her real when he spoke of it, and it made my life with her real.

I grabbed the edges of my gown and bowed. “Hello, Reggie.”

“Ugh, please don’t ever bow to him. I can only handle one ego at a time.”

Xio sat on the edge of the large mort tub. Even sitting, she defined elegance. She was half-reclined, her leg crossed over the other, blocking my view of Cedaar. He lounged in the murky, flower-infused bath. Sometimes, I thought the other healers just enjoyed watching him bathe. I truly didn’t think they helped, but again, I kept it to myself.

My cheeks flushed as I spun away. “I do apologize. Sashau said he was done.”

Oh gods. She lied to embarrass me. I knew it. She and Killie were probably laughing upstairs at how stupid I was. I couldn’t help the tears that pricked my eyes or my raging heartbeat.

“I’ll come back.”

I took a step back and turned toward the door. “Reggie,” Xio said. She did not raise her voice, and her tone was calm.

Reggie blocked my retreat.

“Miska, don’t be so dramatic. You’re fine. He’s not even naked, just half,” Xio said.

Reggie glanced down at me with that same warm smile. He nodded behind me, encouraging me to turn back around. I swallowed and spun to see Xio still sitting lazily on the carved rim. Cedaar looked up at her with a small smirk and shook his head.

The other healers made comments about him. They liked his physique, his smile, the way he walked, and other things that sent me scurrying from the room. But I think my favorite thing about him was how he never seemed to want to leave Xio’s side. He looked at her as if she hung the stars. It reminded me of the texts I loved to read. The others laughed at me for it, but I’d rather dream of magical princes than whatever this life held for me. Cedaar reminded me so much of the knights, protecting what he deemed precious. I didn’t see in him the rebel our queen described.

“See,” Xio said and stood, fully exposing Cedaar’s chest and shoulders above the water. He sighed and lowered his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Not that I trust any of your healers anymore. Tell me,” she clasped her hands and took a step forward, “just between us girls, which one has a crush on my Cedaar?”

“Di—Xio.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat at her approach. Even if she didn’t mean to, the power she gave off made my skin crawl. When she wielded it, I had the overwhelming urge to run and hide. The queen hated she was here, complaining that she had brought darkness to their city.

“Ummm.” I looked behind her at Cedaar, afraid to say anything. His eyes were on her, not in anger but soft, as if something she’d said had shocked him. “I-I . . .”

“It’s fine, you can tell me. You’re not in trouble.” She stopped in front of me, placing her hands on her hips. Reggie shifted closer to my side.

“Xio,” Cedaar called from behind her, the water sloshing as he leaned forward.

She ignored him, keeping her gaze on me. It reminded me so much of the others when they would make fun of me or laugh at me for how I spoke, but I didn’t get that feeling from her. They called her a beast and lusted after Cedaar, but she had never been unkind to me. No, they made me feel like they actually cared when I talked, especially after the other night.

“Most of them do,” I whispered.

Xio made a sound of victory and turned to point at Cedaar. He groaned and rolled his eyes. She spoke to him in that language I didn’t know, and he quickly responded. He waved his arms, opaque water flying everywhere as they seemed to argue.

“They are harmless,” I added, drawing her attention back to me.

Cedaar whispered a thank you and ran his hand over the top of his already slicked-back hair.

“Oh, well, from what I heard, they weren’t in the beginning when we arrived,” Xio said.

“They fear you. They wouldn’t do anything to make you mad. Not to you, at least.” I didn’t mean to let the last part slip out, but Xio seemed to catch it. The whole room did, and they grew quiet.

“They would do something to you?” Xio asked, and for a second, she looked . . . concerned for me.

I shrugged. “I don’t think so. They don’t mean it.” It’s a lie I tell myself far too often. I shifted restlessly and looked away as Xio continued to stare at me.

“Xio,” Cedaar said again, and the warning was clear this time. Perhaps I had made her mad, too.

I shook my head. “Sorry, I’m getting distracted. I came for a reason.” I twisted my fingers in the long sleeves of my gown. “The others are gathering supplies and food to prepare for the meeting tonight, but we have a small problem.”

“What problem?”

“We used the last batch of herbs for the healing lotion, and the plant we need is in another realm. Sashau said we weren’t expecting to use so much given his wound, but we are out.”

“Okay.” Xio waved a hand. “Go get more.”

“That plant only grows at the edge of Requmn.”

Xio glanced back at Cedaar, who rested his folded arms on the edge of the pool, watching her.

“You say that like I know where it is.”

Cedaar sighed. “It’s at least a few hours from here, but with a portal, it would only take a few minutes.”

“Let me guess, we have to go get it?”

I nodded.

“If the queen wishes for us to be at dinner tonight,” Cedaar cut in, “I suppose we can go now and be back in time.”

“We?” Xio asked.

Cedaar rose from the opaque water, and even though he had clothes on, I averted my gaze, staring at Xio’s feet.

“Yes, we,” he said, stepping from the pool, water hitting the stone floor.

I watched Xio’s feet move toward him, stand close, and then back away. Material danced across the floor before wrapping around him and nearly covering his feet.

I glanced up then to see Xio shaking her head at him. He was sliding one arm, then the other, into his shirt. Concern scrunched my face when I caught sight of the wound across his abdomen. It was not healing, and now purple lines zigzagged from the edges of the slash.

“You,” Xio poked him square in the chest, “are not going anywhere.”

“And you’re not going alone,” he retorted.

“I won’t be alone. I’ll have my right-hand man, Reggie.”

Reggie made a sound somewhere between shock and denial. Cedaar whipped his head toward him and glared. “No offense, but what self-defense does Reggie have that I do not?”

“Well, first, there is no need for self-defense. I am only bringing him so that vein on the side of your head doesn’t poke out from worry when I leave, and two, do you really think I need someone to protect me?”

Cedaar made a face. “Yes. Have you met you?”

She swatted his shoulder, the slap drawing a smile from them both.

“I’m going. You are going to have your magical meeting with a queen.” She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him close. She placed a kiss on his lips hard enough that it left a smack and stepped back. “And then I’ll be back to give you dessert.”

Cedaar’s eyes widened a fraction, and I wondered what the word dessert meant.

“What’s dessert?” I asked Reggie.

He only shook his head. “Some things are better left unknown.”