6. Chapter 6 - Lochinvar

CHAPTER 6 - LOCHINVAR

THE HIGH WALLS - BALLOCH CASTLE - MAY 27, 1710

A sh asked, “So, what do we do in a castle in the... what century is it?”

“Tis the dawn of the eighteenth century.”

She counted on her fingers, “Okay, so it’s the early 1700s, that is crazy. I wouldn’t believe a word of it if I wasn’t wearing a too-tight bodice and looking down on a cart rolling through a gate from up on a castle wall.” Her eyes scanned the horizon, “I can’t believe this horizon, it’s gorgeous.”

I said, “Ye want tae see somethin’ that will give ye pause? Look down from the other side of the wall.”

She went over to the other side and looked down on the courtyard. Twas teeming with crowds: rolling carts laden with bundles and baskets and piles of sacks, many horses — an odor rose tae our noses, it smelled like heavy work with not enough bathin’, and there was a great clamor.

She gulped. “I feel like such a numbskull, you would say crazy things and I believed you were talking about modern day Scotland, like it’s some kind of archaic place. Let me guess, Scotland, in my time, is just normal?”

“Tis likely, I haena seen it. I hae seen past Scotland, the future kingdom, a lake house in Maine, and New York City.”

She laughed. “That is an odd assortment, I imagine that inside your head you have a really weird view of how the world works.”

“Aye, tis why, when faced with a beautiful lass who I want tae win, I canna think of anythin’ tae say.”

“You, Lochinvar the Lord of Time, do just fine.”

He joked, “Tis because I won ye a’ready.”

“Ha! That is true, but I suppose that might mean I’m too easy. Should I have made you fight for me first, led you on a bit?”

He scoffed. “What was I doin’ at the walls of that compound? I think I was riskin’ m’life, I fought for ye plenty hard.”

“I guess that is true. I just meant, made you fight for my love.”

“I daena think ye understand anythin’ about m’love for ye, Ash, if ye think I dinna struggle tae win yer love. I stared out at the rain, soppin’ wet for a whole night.”

She smiled. “One night! I ought to have strung you along for at least a month, caused you a bit of worry.”

I clutched my heart. “Nae, it might hae killed me! One night was all I could stand, where in the story of the world hae ye heard that ye ought tae cause turmoil in yer man’s heart afore ye profess yer love tae him?”

“Everyone kens it, Lochie, all the stories, every love story comes from turmoil.”

I waved my hand at her. “Och nae, this is similar tae something m’brother, Magnus, said about the turmoil and intrigue and danger caused by brothers strivin’ for the throne — I told him that because some brothers were duplicitous, daena mean that is the way of all brothers. I think the history of the world is more likely tae be written by brothers who collaborated with each other tae win power for their family.”

She leaned against the wall on the other side, looking out over the Scottish landscape once more, green fields, a deep dark forest, a ring of majestic mountains beyond. She said, “That might be true.”

I continued, “And then ye hae a lord and his lady — ye think tis better tae cause turmoil in the beginning? Tae start with pain and agony and distress? Och nae, the way of it is much better for me tae say, ‘Hello, m’lady, m’name is Lochinvar, and I do believe ye are verra bonny, might I hae a slice of yer pie?’ and for her tae say, ‘I do so like the sight of yer knee, m’laird Lochie, I made ye a pie, I will serve ye a slice of pizza, and then I will take ye tae m’bed and press m’thumb tae yers, and we will live happily from then on.’”

“When you put it that way, it does seem better.”

I took her hand and held it. “There was plenty of turmoil with yer kidnappin’, I daena think we need anymore.”

She said, “I like that you’re the orphan of the family and you’re the one telling everyone they ought to trust each other’s loyalty more.”

I said, “I hae been alone m’whole life, I think that if I hae decided tae take on a family that they ought tae believe me when I say I am loyal tae them. If I am holdin’ yer hand, Ash, I want ye tae ken, I mean it, ye daena need tae cause me anguish. I am yers, ye are mine. We daena need tae fret over it, we get tae be each other’s family.”

She smiled, “I really like that, I mean it too.”

I smiled, “This is amazin’, Ash picked me even with all the extra excitement that I bring.” I put my arms out. “The scent of the garderobe, the terrible food, the uncomfortable bed, the lack of air conditioning.”

She chuckled. “I haven’t been in the garderobe yet… just used the pisspot, it’s disgusting.”

“Och, ye daena even ken how bad it can get.”

“M’laird, are you trying to talk me out of staying here and being your family?”

“Nae, never, I just want ye tae be clear, there inna a PlayStation here, not for centuries.”

“I do love playing GTA. I used to play a lot when I was on base.”

“We canna here, tis just a fact. One year the family lived at Kilchurn, and they ran electricity tae the castle?—”

“How?”

“I think twas a magical wheel in the water.”

She nodded. “Hydropower, good idea. Who did that, Quentin?”

“He and James, likely. But it dinna work well for a gamin’ system, it dinna hae a lot of power, it cut out all the time, tis almost worse than not havin’ it at all. They used it for light mostly.”

“It’s interesting — it’s a little like living on the frontier, but with access to everything in history to get comfortable. You could outfit this place with electricity, put up a satellite, fire rockets from here, drill for oil in the sixteenth century, bring a car?—”

“They have brought what they call ATVs here before, ye ever driven one of them?”

“Yeah, I have — so what stops them from bringing everything they could ever want?”

“Magnus told me he daena want tae ruin the history of the world. If ye bring one lamp, and it lights the night, that pool of light might cause someone tae become complacent, tae not invent the light. Then where will light come from?”

“That is a really good point.”

“Aye. Men must experience hardship tae want tae build a world, so we canna get too comfortable.” I pulled her hand closer so that she was standing right in front of me. She was shorter, smaller. I put m’arms around her, bent down, and kissed her shoulder. “How is yer arm?”

“Much better.”

“Good.”

“So what do we do here in the eighteenth century?”

“I am thinking that Laird Lochie and Lady Ash ought tae go tae their room and see if they can get more comfortable.”

She smiled. “I thought you would never ask.”