20. Chapter 20 - Ash

CHAPTER 20 - ASH

THE PALACE SALOON, FLORIDA - MAY 20, 2025

L ochinvar got in the passenger seat and put on his seatbelt. I paused for a moment with the keys in the ignition, “I’m sorry you’re not driving. I’m following orders, you know?”

“I ken, tis fine. I ken how tae drive, tis just that James is verra particular...” The corner of his mouth went up. “He daena like it when I drive over the mailboxes.”

I laughed. “Okay good, we have had enough excitement, I’m going to drive this big-ass truck very carefully.” I loosened the sling. “Let me see. Yeah, this works. Doesn’t hurt at all.”

I backed out of the driveway and Lochinvar went through the glove compartment and pulled out a phone. I said, “A burner?”

“Aye, if we need it.”

“I could call Don, but I don’t know his number, hmmmm.” I drove us out onto the road, checking the clock. “He’ll be at work around the time we get there, I’ll surprise him.”

I got comfortable, but when I adjusted the rearview mirror I accidentally tapped the gas and the truck jerked forward. “Sorry, out of practice.”

As I drove I marveled at the passing landscape, strip malls and trees. “Florida looks weird now that I’ve been in medieval Scotland.”

He said, “Scotland looks weird now that I hae lived in Florida.”

I pulled into a drive-thru and ordered burgers and fries and large sodas for both of us. We paid with cash from a roll that was under a gun in the glove compartment.

I pulled to a space under a tree to eat, dipping fries in ketchup and moaning happily as I ate the burger. “Wow, this is amazing after being in the past for so long.”

“Aye, a taste of modern food

I asked, “Can I tell Don about the time travel?”

Lochinvar said, “Tis against our rule, but naething good comes from secrecy. If ye trust him, ye ought tae tell him.”

I nodded. “I just don’t know how.”

Lochie said, “It inna easy, I hae nae advice on it, but I wish I had just told ye, first thing.”

“Then that’s what I’ll do.”

We pulled up in front of the Palace Saloon and Lochie looked up and down the street. He got out, looked all around, then came around the truck and opened my door to let me out. He followed me up to the front door.

I peered through the glass and knocked seeing Don, inside, mouthing, “No shit! Ash! Ash, it’s you?” He rushed to the door, unlocked it, and hugged me in the doorway.

Lochie said, “Ye alone, Don, nae one else?”

“No, just me.”

Lochie said, “Good, lock the door after ye, I will keep watch outside.”

He stood outside like a guard.

Don locked the door, saying, “What the hell, Ash? What happened — I was so freaking worried!” We hugged again.

“Oh man, I have so much to tell you, I’m sorry you were worried. I came as fast as I could but I was injured and needed to recuperate first?—”

His brow drew down, he looked at his watch. “Um... whatcha talking about, it just happened a few hours ago...?”

“Oh right.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Is he in the mob? Is that what’s going on?”

“No, got a minute? Can we sit down?” We went to the bar and he picked up his rag to wipe it down, as he always did. I said, “So... it’s not the mob... I got kidnapped.”

“By the mafia?”

“That’s literally the mob, just a different name.”

“Street gangs? International terrorism?”

“Dude, let me talk.”

“I’ve been nervous, freaking out. Be nicer.”

“I know. It’s um... you need to brace yourself. Like listen , have an open mind. I’m going to tell you something that is hard to believe.”

He rolled his hand. “Out with it.”

“They’re time travelers.”

He scoffed. “Bullshit, Ash. Dammit. Come on. I’m your friend — aren’t we friends? I mean... I get if you can’t tell me, but don’t bullshit me, at least respect me enough to say I can’t tell you and we can just leave it at that.”

“No, I won’t bullshit you, and I won’t lie to you, and the reason why I’m telling you is because we’re friends. They time travel. I know it’s crazy to hear it, they have a machine, they can jump into different places in time. Magnus, that man, Lochie’s older brother? He’s a king.”

He shook his head.

I said, “You know the storms? The ones on the south end? That’s them, time traveling in and out of here.”

“No way.”

“Yes way.” I was turning my barstool back and forth a bit, as I thought about how to put it, so he would get it. “Magnus is in a big thing with this guy named Asgall, and for some reason he kidnapped me, not really sure why?—”

“That guy who came here, who kidnapped you?”

“He worked for Asgall I think. I was snatched from my car and then woke up in a village compound in the year... can’t remember, sometime in... 1296 I think.”

“What the hell, Ash, I was not born yesterday.”

“I know, but it’s true. I was in Scotland, and there was a guy there calling himself a king.”

“You hit your head or something. I’ve never known you to be crazy.”

“I could call Lochie in, tell him to explain it, but think about it, why would I lie? And also why would Lochinvar be so damn weird? He’s from centuries ago.”

“He is pretty weird.”

“Exactly.”

“So let’s say I believe you, I don’t, but let’s just say I do — how did you get out?”

“I was there for days.”

He shook his head.

I said, “I was. Long enough to really despair that I might die there.”

“In a compound in the 1200s?”

“Yep, I thought it was some bizarro cult.”

“Maybe it was?” His eyes glanced at the door, with Lochie standing there looking up and down the street. “You’re in a cult, you’ve got an armed guard now, making sure you don’t get out of line.”

“Except he’s not worried that I’m out of line. He’s out there. I could say anything I want to you.”

He nodded. “So how did you get away from this cult compound?”

“Lochie and Magnus and Fraoch, you met all of them, they mounted a rescue. They sent a drone over the wall and shot missiles into the compound, they killed the guards. There was armed combat through the streets. It was crazy . They found me, and we raced out to their waiting horses.”

He stopped wiping to say, “Horses and drones?”

“Yep, they can take weapons from now, back to then. They don’t want to, they try not to mess up the history of the world, but sometimes they have to use modern weapons. For my rescue they used drones. Some of the guards holding me were armed too, that’s what’s so confusing about being there. At first I thought I had been kidnapped by a cult, because, one, time travel doesn’t exist, and two, even though everything around me looked old, like living in a museum, the guys who kidnapped me were wearing modern clothes. A few of the guards carried modern weapons. It confused me. But then Asgall showed up and forced me to sign a contract, marrying him. I did, because I wanted to survive, I had to escape. I kind of thought I was somewhere in Florida, near by, you know, because I couldn’t have gone far... but he told me I was in Scotland and that the year was 1296. It was a mind screwer.”

“You thought it was Florida?”

“I mean not really... it just, none of it made sense. I couldn’t believe my eyes.”

“So Lochinvar and his brothers rescued you, brought you here?”

“No, they jumped with me to a castle in the eighteenth century.”

“Bullshit.”

I said, “It’s not bullshit, have I ever bullshitted you?”

“You’re generally pretty straight up, but we joke a lot. How are you not joking right now?”

“I’m not, why would I make any of this up? Why would I want you to think I’m crazy? They took me to a castle, I’ve been staying there while I recovered from my dislocated shoulder.”

“How many days?”

“Another three. I’ve been gone for at least a week. Maybe more.” I counted on my fingers then said, “Can’t remember, brain is fuzzy from the time jump.”

He sat there for a moment, kind of huffing, looking down at the ground. Then he said, “Look, I want to take what you’re saying as true, because we’ve been friends for years and I thought we were good friends. Please don’t lie to me, please don’t let me find out later that you developed a drug addiction and this is you hitting bottom. Or you’re in some sister marriage cult and you’re trying to recruit me.”

“I promise, none of that. Being kidnapped in the thirteenth century almost turned me off alcohol altogether. They drank ale, barely any water?—”

“That’s not really my point. I’m just naming a couple of possibilities of all the ways you could be using this cockamamie tale to cover for something terrible going on with you — please don’t.”

“I won’t. I promise. We are friends. You’ve been my closest friend for a long time. When I was recuperating in the castle all I wanted was to get back here to let you know I was okay. I was worried about you. I knew you were freaking out. If I was in a cult or a drug addict, I think I would have come up with a much better, more believable, excuse, you know?”

“Yeah, I know... you have a much better imagination...” He looked down at the ground for a long time then said, “Fine, I believe you.”

“You do? What made you decide?”

“Your boots, actually. Those are your favorite boots and you usually have them shined and pretty. You were wearing them last night, at work. Now look at them, they look like they’ve been on a weeklong trek through a Scottish forest.”

I looked down, “Huh, that’s funny.”

He ran his hand through his hair. “So what happens now? I take it you’re not here for your shift?”

“No, don’t think so, my days of slinging drinks are behind me, I think. I’m marrying Lochinvar.”

“Damn girl.”

“Yep, he’s asked me, and I said yes.”

“I guess it doesn’t hurt that he’s rich as hell.”

“Doesn’t hurt, but he’s also desperately in love with me, and risked his life to rescue me.”

“I guess your last boyfriend was more likely to fight over you than to fight for you.”

“Yeah, there’s a big difference there. Buck was a butt.”

He said, “So I guess there’s no chance for me? That’s fine, don’t answer it, you’re not my type anyway.”

I said, “Yeah, my bra size is too small.”

He shrugged and the corner of his mouth went up. “It’s true, a boy wants what he wants. I happen to want a girlfriend who can distract me from what she’s droning on and on about.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Ugh, you are the worst, why are we friends?”

“Because you think I’m hilarious, and you know you can count on me.”

“True, and that’s... I need to ask you for a?—”

“Here comes the recruitment.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, kind of, you got my extra keys? I don’t know where any of my stuff ended up.”

He pulled the keys out and pushed them across the bar.

“Thanks. I’m going to go by to grab some of my things. But while I’m gone, can I get you to take care of my mail?”

He nodded. “And I’ll get your car window replaced.”

“Oh, I forgot about that.”

I watched Lochie as he stood at the door, his wide shoulders stretching the back of his shirt, his feet planted, on edge, guarding me.

“I guess I need you to watch over my place too? We’ll be back, I think we can come back whenever we want...”

“Yeah, no problem.”

I asked, “This is weird right, a lot to take in at once...?”

“Yesterday I thought the world was normal, now it’s a simulation with matrix-sensibilities. You say that they’re the reason for all the storms? They change the weather with time travel? And I’m supposed to just work my job, knowing that this exists?”

“Yeah, it’s blown my mind. But honestly, Don, it’s good to have a reason for all those storms, am I right? That’s been a mystery for years .”

“Yeah... so you’re sure you know what you’re doing?”

I nodded. “I love him. I’m going to marry him. I’m going to live in some castle in the?—”

He put his hands over his ears and said, “Blah blah blah, don’t tell me, I shouldn’t know. If I get kidnapped, Ash, by some asshat named Asgall, I warn you, I will sing like a bird. I’m not cut out to withstand torture.”

I said, “I don’t see why Asgall would bother with you, you don’t know anything useful.”

“Yeah, I’m just a bartender, I don’t know nothin’. But still, y’all aren’t doing anything illegal, right?”

“No, nothing, probably, but what do I know? I’ve only been around them for a little over a week.”

“Damn you’re a risk taker, you’re really gonna marry someone you just met?”

I glanced at the door, Lochie’s back.

“Yeah, I’m scared, this is a lot to take on, but also, I’m set in it — I know him, I never met someone like him before, he will take care of me, but also he needs me, like really needs me. I can’t explain how he’s both those things, but he is, and I adore him for it.”

“He’s pretty hot, all that other stuff is bullshit, you just like his ass.”

I grinned. “Yeah, that’s pretty great, it doesn’t hurt.”

“What else you need from me, your plants watered?”

“If you could clean out my fridge and take my plants to your place, that would be great. I’ll owe you.” I put the keys in my pocket. “I’ll leave the keys in the mailbox.”

“Gotcha, when will I see you again?”

“How about next Wednesday, the bar opens later, you’re here earlier?”

“You can come back that quick?”

“You forget, with time travel I can stay away for years and come back at the same time.”

“Damn, that’s... that’s absurd.”

“Yep, if I wasn’t doing it, there’s no way I would believe it.”

“So you don’t blame me for not believing you — can you take me somewhere so I can see it for myself?”

“Where would you like to go?”

“I don’t know, maybe to early nineties, to see Pearl—” Then he shook his head. “No, don’t hold me to that, I can think of something better.”

“Think on it this week, I’ll come back on Wednesday, the fourth.”

He uncapped a pen and circled it on the calendar. I gave him the phone number of our burner phone in case he needed it. As he wrote he said, “I’m going to not even mention that ‘burner phone’ is usually a sign of some illegal shit going down.”

I shrugged. “Yep. Better not to mention it... But now I have to run.” I stood up and he walked me to the door. He shook Lochie’s hand and then returned to the saloon to finish setting up for work.

Lochie embraced me.

I held on tight. “That was hard. It’s next to impossible to explain this to someone.”

“Aye, tis why I couldna tell ye, tis good that ye told Don though.” We walked to the truck and climbed in. I started the truck and drove toward my house.

First, I drove by it slowly, very slowly, while Lochie and I both peered out the windows. He said, “Notice anythin’ off?”

“No, except the glass by my car. My landlady will be pissed, but she barely goes outside, maybe she hasn’t noticed.”

Next, I drove past, circling the block, scanning in all directions, and then pulled up in the driveway. I climbed from the truck and approached my car.

Someone had locked the doors, so I had to carefully reach my arm through the broken window to open it from the inside. I remembered being yanked through it, the man reaching in the car, scaring the heck out of me, dragging me out. So much had happened since then, but the memories hit me, fresh, especially the fear. I felt the fear all over again.

Lochie said, “Och nae, twas dire.”

“I know, it looks scary — it was so scary. It’s making me feel shaky.”

I leaned against the car taking a deep breath, while Lochie crouched down and looked all around the floorboards and felt under the seats.

“There is nothin’ here.”

We went around the house to the front door.

I let myself in and listened for a moment, but then climbed the stairs, giving Lochie a funny look, pressing my finger to my lips. He grinned as he crept soundlessly behind me.

I opened the door with my key and Lochie went in first to look around. Then I followed. It was just how I had left it yesterday when I went to work. The weirdest thing to say, ever, because it seemed like a whole lifetime ago.

“Okay, what do I need...?” I pulled my suitcase from the closet under the eaves, opened it on the bed, and started pushing underwear and bras in. “What do I pack for a medieval castle?”

“I daena hae any idea, I simply put on what Madame Emma or Queen Kaitlyn tells me tae wear.”

I held up some socks. “Wool?”

“Aye, bring wool socks. And yer comfortable boots. I hae seen some of the women wear layers under their skirts.”

I rolled up some workout pants, placed them in the suitcase and all my wool socks. Then I held up my fanciest, tiniest, laciest pair of underwear and bra, in a bright pink color. “These?”

His eyes went wide. “They are yers?” He sounded breathless when he said it.

“I’ll wear it for our honeymoon.” I placed them in the case.

“Och aye, twould be... verra good.”

I grinned.

He looked over at the bed. “Och, we had a verra fine time, ye ken, we were verra good at it, twould be a shame tae wait, I think. We ought tae be less concerned with what m’family thinks.”

“You, m’laird, are changing your mind back and forth, agreeing with me, then disagreeing?—”

“If ye kent how much I want tae bed ye, ye might disagree with yerself as well. We did it once, we could do it once more without harmin’ our reputations, especially if we keep it verra quiet.”

I sighed. “While a secret tryst does sound fun, I think we ought to keep to the plan. Think how hot you’ll be for me by the time we’re married. It’ll be amazing.”

“Unless I die first.”

I playfully stamped my foot. “Lochie, you are not going to die, not from lack of?—”

He looked crestfallen.

“Oh you mean because of danger...”

“Aye, ye hae given me somethin’ tae live for.”

“That is very sweet.” I was holding a pair of boots and shoved them in the suitcase. “I’m sorry I was teasing you. It’s just that sometimes we’re talking about ordinary things, then next minute we’re talking about life and death. It’s jarring. And not funny.”

He half-smiled. “Tis kind of funny, that I lay with ye right here, just a week ago, then risked m’life tae rescue ye, and now I must stare at the bed longingly, dreamin’ of beddin’ ye, and daena get tae because I must marry ye first. Tis like moving backwards, but I suppose time is a wheel, ye ken?”

“Is it? I always thought it was a line. And you’re right, we are going backwards, but we can’t stop now, we’ve come this far. We must carry on.”

He nodded.

I went to the bathroom to get my perfume, makeup, toothbrush... I brushed the hell out of my teeth, and then did it again. I grabbed a mirror and my floss. My shampoo and conditioner, some hair products for making myself pretty. I put my best jewelry into a small bag. Then put all of that in a larger bag and shoved it into my suitcase. I had a favorite pillow: I rolled it up and put it in too.

When I looked up, Lochinvar was standing in front of the bookcase, holding a book.

I went over and glanced at the cover. “That was my favorite when I was younger, the Chronicles of Narnia. Do you think your nephews have heard it? I could read it to them, that would be fun.”

“Ye would read a book tae the nephews?”

“Or you could read it to them, or I can read it to all of you.”

“Aye, twould be verra good. I daena think they have read it.”

I put the books in the suitcase.

He said, “Ye told me ye were goin’ tae read me a book about... dost ye remember?”

“I think it was Twilight, do you want me to bring it?”

“Aye.”

I brought that book and I pulled the Hobbit from the shelf. “This one has a dragon.”

He asked, “Tis a true story?”

I stopped, my eyes went wide. “A true story — are dragons real, Lochie?”

He grinned.

“You’re joking right? I swear, if you told me dragons were real right now I would be like, sure, I guess they are — really?”

“I hae never met one.”

“That doesn’t totally set my mind at ease.”

I scrounged through my address book and found my parents’ phone number. I called using the burner phone.

Mom of course hadn’t noticed I was missing because she lived a few states away and I had only been officially gone for about fifteen hours. When she picked up she was excited to hear from me, but also busy, she asked if she could call me back.

At her voice, I got kind of overwhelmed, tears pooling in my eyes. I remembered walking down the riverbank in a medieval Scottish forest and how I had gone back to the compound because I hadn’t wanted to disappear, I hadn’t wanted to break her heart — I said, “No worries, Mom, I’m going out of town for a week, but I’ll call you when I get back on Wednesday.” My voice caught.

She said, “Are you okay, honey?”

“Yeah,” I took a deep breath. “I’m good, just a late shift at the bar, my voice is cracking.” I hated to lie to her, to not tell her that I was caught up in something big and dangerous, that I was going to get married.

I had been so caught up in getting married in front of Lochie’s family that I forgot about my own. But then again, his family wondered why we were waiting — my family would be horrified that we were marrying so soon.

I said, “Mom, just really wanted to tell you I love you.”

“What made you want to say that? And I love you too.”

“I don’t know, world events, tired, just wanted to tell you, I miss you and Dad.”

She said, “I miss you too, desperately. When you get back on Wednesday, call me, let’s get a date on the calendar for you to visit, pronto.”

“I’ll try to come in the next few weeks, I promise.”

“Perfect, good, very good?—”

“Kiss Dad for me, okay?”

“Of course, honey, talk to you on Wednesday.” Then we hung up. I stared at my phone for a moment, blinking back the tears. It felt weird and evasive to have so much going on and not tell her about it. I usually told her everything, mostly... but in this... no. Not yet. She would never understand. And I didn’t have time to explain.

I looked over at Lochinvar, his nose in the fridge. He said, “Dost ye hae a bag for some groceries?”

I passed him a shopping bag. He placed three beers into it, a ziplock gallon-bag of flour and one of salt. I said, “Grab the salt and pepper too.”

He put ketchup in the bag. I flipped through my recipe box. He said, “What is that?”

I pulled out a few cards. “My recipes for pies. Maybe I will make you one for our wedding day.”

“That might be the greatest dream I ever had, dost ye think ye could?”

“Why not, we have sugar and flour, we just need fruit. Wait!”

I reached in the fridge and pulled out a bag with a dozen peaches in it. And two pie pans.

I put it all in the bag.

I zipped up the suitcase and he carried it.

As we went to the door I said, “Nothing happened, the whole time, we were cautious over nothing.”

Lochie said, “I hae always learned, ye must be overly cautious, Ash, ye never ken when someone will time-travel at ye.”

I laughed. “‘Time travel at ye’ I like that, it’s funny.”

“Aye, tis funny, but we ought tae go.”

I nodded. “I’m ready, let’s do this thing.”

When we got downstairs I hid my keys, and then we got in the truck to drive back to the safe house.

I said, “Do we have time to stop at Target for the other things on the list?”

He pulled the notebook pages from his sporran, they were covered in Quentin’s list. He read, “Tis more diapers, toilet paper, toothpaste, treats for the kids, and a?—”

The burner phone vibrated.

Lochinvar read it, “Tis a text from Don. It says: Ye left yet? Ye see that storm?”

He turned the phone to show me. I took the phone, called Don, and put it on speaker.

“Where was the storm?”

“Centered directly east, near Egan’s Creek.”

“So, it wasn’t just a thunderstorm, it was one of the strange ones, right? Big, sudden, brief? That’s what you saw?”

“Yeah, that’s what I saw. Where are you guys?”

I said, “We’re off the Island, we were going to stop at Target, but I think we gotta get out of here.”

“Alright, see you on Wednesday.”

“See you then.”

I hung up.

Lochinvar put the lists back in his sporran, shaking his head. “We will stop tae gas up the truck, but we canna shop for supplies.” He looked over his shoulder out east.

I said, “Were they coming or going?”

“I daena ken.”

I pulled the truck up at the gas pump, Lochinvar stood beside me, looking up and down the road while I filled it with gas.

Then we both went into the store because I needed to use the bathroom and couldn’t wait. He said, “I will guard the store from inside, ye want a soda?”

“Yes, I’d love another Sprite, I need to store it up like a camel.” He narrowed his eyes. “A camel, Lochie?”

“Och aye, a camel. C is for Camel. The bairns hae a book on it.”

“They store water in their — you know, never mind. Next time we come back we’ll all go to the zoo and I’ll tell you all about it.” I left for the bathroom.

When I came out he had a plastic shopping bag full of something and two Big Gulps.

He passed me my very large Sprite.

I asked, “What’s in the bag?”

“I found the best things tae take back for everyone. The verra best.”

We climbed in the truck and while I started it he opened the bag on his lap and showed me a pen. “Look, tis the verra best pen ye ever saw! This is a pen that will save yer life.”

I laughed. “Show me, it looks just like an ordinary pen. How can that save your life?”

He gasped, comically. “Hae I told ye about how pens saved Magnus and Kaitlyn’s life?”

“No, I heard pens were important, it’s been mentioned, but I don’t get how it happened.”

“They were stuck verra far back in time, before history, almost, before anythin’ was written down. Nae one knew where they were.”

“Ugh, remind me not tae go back that far.”

“Och, we are goin’ much farther back.”

I said, “Great... does this have a happy ending?”

“Aye, Magnus had pens. He signed contracts and leases and filled books with writin’ with the modern pens. And then someone noticed, ye ken, that the writin’ in the book was from a modern pen. Twas a mystery. Twas in a magazine. Emma showed it tae me, the headline said: The Mystery of the Modern Pen. That was how they found Magnus and Kaitlyn, the place, the date, and year.”

“I’m impressed, that’s amazing.”

“Twill be even better with this pen, look at it.” He fumbled with it. “There is a light!” He pulled off the lid revealing a flashlight on the top.

“Very cool.”

“Tis not all...” He struggled for a moment, muttering that his fingers were too big, then he uncapped the other end. There was a tiny screw driver. He said, “A blade!”

I smiled. “Awesome. It’s small though.”

“Och,” he joked, “tis like Fraoch says, ’Tis not the size of the blade but yer swing.’” He eyed the screwdriver. “I can think of three ways tae kill a man with it, right now.” He capped it again, then pulled apart the middle to show me the pen. “ And it writes, if ye are in dire straits in a dungeon in Balloch in a year before the vessels, ye will hae three tools tae get yerself free. Tis all one could ever need.”

I said, “That is a great pen, how many did you get?”

“I bought all of them.”

“Enough for the whole family?”

“Aye.”

We pulled up at the safe house and parked the truck. He drew his gun as we moved from the garage into the house, and kept watch while I changed into my Balloch clothes. Then I kept watch while he dressed in his kilt. We met in the backyard.

I had my suitcase beside me, a grocery bag with stuff to make pies, Lochinvar had a bag of pens. We each had a Big Gulp in our hands. I joked, “It’s not what we were told to buy but we did all we could. By the way, what’s in that bag?”

I pointed with the big cup.

He opened the flap and showed me. It was an older PlayStation with the cord wrapped all around it, stuffed in his bag, and a couple of controllers. “You stole it out of the house?”

“Aye, seemed like we needed it.”

“True, what games you got in there?”

He looked through three games. “Call of Duty, Gran Turismo, and Golf.”

I said, “Smart thinking. Either we are going to have so much fun or Quentin will never send us on a supply run again. It’s a win-win.”

He laughed. “When he sees m’bag of pens he is goin’ tae send me on all the supply runs.”

I laughed too.

He pulled a vessel from his pocket, then narrowed his eyes. “I ken we are headed back tae Balloch, but...”

I slurped some of my Sprite. “But what?”

Lochie said, “I am in a hurry tae get ye tae Stirling.”

I asked, “Is that so that we can get married?”

He nodded, “I daena think I can wait any longer.”

I nodded looking up in his eyes. “But didn’t we tell them we were coming straight?—”

Lochie said, “I daena think ye understand, Ash, how desperate I am tae marry ye. M’mind inna workin’ anymore. I canna think over m’thoughts on... ye ken, and I told ye, tis dangerous tae jump, what if something happens tae us and we are unmarried? And... now I hae seen yer pink underwear and we ought tae be married — then ye are m’wife. I am yer husband, twill give us more protection.”

I smiled. “You are really desperate, I am close to saying yes, but... I really don’t like the idea of disappointing anyone, especially Quentin.” I looked around at the stuff we brought, it was a poor showing. I sipped from my Big Gulp.

He said, “We could go meet Magnus at Stirling, get married, then return tae Balloch — we time travel, we wouldna even be late. If ye think about it, Ash, we ought tae do it that way or yer peaches will become too ripe and yer pie winna taste as good.”

“Oh this is about my peach pie, huh?”

“Aye, Ash, everythin’ is about yer pie. Tis all there is in the whole world.”

I sighed. “This is very sweet. Okay, I’ve put you off long enough, let’s go to Stirling and get married.”

Lochinvar grinned then began working the vessel.

I narrowed my eyes. “You know how to set it?”

“Aye, tis just...” His voice trailed off, I saw him pause and it seemed like he was counting in his head, it was disconcerting, but then finally he said, “Aye, tis right...” He looked down on it, then said, “Och, ye need this as well.” He twisted it and did one more thing. Then he nodded.

I felt alarmed. “It’s set? You’re sure, we could go to Balloch first.”

“Tis set, trust me, Ash, we are goin’ tae the agreed upon date tae meet Og Maggy at King’s Park, Stirling. Ye are armed?”

I jokingly held up the Big Gulp.

He chuckled.

I said, “We’re going to time travel with our Big Gulps so that when we wake up we can immediately drink some.”

He said, “We haena ever tried it, tis a genius idea.”

“Good, we make a good team. And yes, I am armed. But we’re going to Stirling — Magnus will be there to meet us, right?”

He pulled his gun and checked it was loaded, then returned it to his holster. “He will, but we must always be ready for a chance of melee.”

I gulped. “Melee, huh?”

“Daena worry on it, Ash, grab m’arm.” He checked his watch, “Och nae, we hae been here a long time, we need tae go.”

He looked down on the vessel, he was about to twist it.

I didn’t want him to twist it.

I stepped away, shaking my head. “Nope. Don’t want to.”

Lochie said, “Och nae.”

“We could... I don’t know. Live here. Right? There’s a house, it’s called a safe house, we could just... not go.”

“It inna what it means, Ash, ye ken?”

“I know, but it has a PlayStation, it has all we need.”

“I am takin’ the PlayStation with us...”

“I know, I get it, I just don’t want to get on the swooshy storm machine. Sometimes I need to talk myself into things. Sometimes I need to be bossy about it.”

“Ash, ye are the love of m’life and ye are also a pain in m’arse. Ye hae tae go because I said tis time tae go.”

I swung my good arm around in a circle, then I jogged in place. Looking at him the whole time.

He repeated himself, pretending to be stern, “Tis time to go.”

I said, continuing to jog. “You bossing me, Lochie?”

“Aye, ye are goin’ tae be m’wife, I am tellin’ ye tis time tae go.”

I kept jogging. “You’re telling me I have to put my hand on yer arm so that pain can shoot up my arm and drag me into the past?”

“Aye, right now, because I told ye ye hae tae.”

“Fine,” I swung my arm around in a circle while saying, “but only because I will, not because you’re being?—”

I put my hand on his arm. He put his arm around me with his chin on the top of my head, holding me in a big bear hug. And the ripping, searing pain began to fill me again.