29. Relief

29

Relief

Morgana

T he knocking on my door is persistent and very annoying, but since under who is on the other side, I can only be gracious that he's even here.

"Yeah, Dad?" I say, acknowledging that he can enter. As my father enters the room, he takes a grim look around before taking his seat next to me on the bed.

"My dear, you haven't moved in over a week."

"So? I have my powers back. I can do whatever I want again."

"Do you not realize what has happened to you?" Here he goes again, being utterly nothing but cryptic and annoying. I don't want to talk. It hurts. "Morgana, when you lost your powers, you were lost. Alistair accompanied you up into the other world so that you wouldn't be so alone. He wanted to be there for you and you alone. What happened to him was an unfortunate incident, it wasn't planned."

"It was planned by the twins."

"But it wasn't planned by me." I blink a couple times at my father and it finally makes sense.

"You sent Alastor to attack me at the cemetery. He's the only one that could have been strong enough for me not to sense. And of course, Alistair was too used to his father to have sensed him either."

"Yes, I did." He takes a long breath before continuing. "Believe me, I had no idea what the twins were planning. If I knew I never would have-"

"Stop. I understand what you did was for me. You couldn't have known what they were going to do. I just wish Alistair didn't come with me. If he hadn't, he'd still be here and alive. He wouldn't have died so stupidly." I turned my head away and glanced at the wall. When I came back home, I took the scythe with me. Under no circumstances will I allow any demon to have it again. I let out a sigh, the weight of his words pressing down on me. My room, now dimly lit by the flickering light of the soul crystals, feels suffocating. The memories of Alistair, his unwavering loyalty, and his tragic end haunt every corner. The heavy drapes are drawn, casting long shadows on the walls. The only source of light is the blue glow from the crystals, their cold light reflecting my inner turmoil. My father's presence is a stark contrast to the gloom, his figure imposing yet comforting. "Dad, I just... I can't stop thinking about him. Every time I close my eyes, I see his face, lifeless and cold. It's my fault he's gone."

"Morgana," he says softly, placing a hand on my shoulder, "Alistair's choice to accompany you was his own. He loved you, and he would have done anything to protect you. You must honor his memory by living, not by succumbing to guilt." So, father knew of Alistair's feelings.

Tears well up in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. "I don't know if I can, Dad. Everything feels so empty without him."

"You can, and you will," he assures me. "You are stronger than you realize. Alistair believed in you, and so do I."

I take a deep, shaky breath, trying to find some semblance of strength. "What do I do now?"

"You should go and see your friend Morgana. I have it on good word that she is still planning your party to go ahead tonight."

"I don't feel like celebrating."

"It may be the case. But after everything she did to help you, don't you feel that she deserves a goodbye?"

I hate it when my father is right. Yes, Sierra definitely deserves a goodbye. After gritting my teeth together, I get dressed and decide to head back up to the surface. I know approximately where the party is, and after a few blocks, I locate the loud bundle of people. Once Sierra announced the party in front of the entire cafeteria lunchroom, it was clear that this was the place to be. Surrounded by hundreds of high school students, the abandoned asylum is well lit. Alistair and my father must have given her a lot to work with.

As I walk through the grounds and up to the front bay doors, a few people say happy birthday to me. I do as Alistair once instructed me to do and smile politely as they go by. There's nothing I want more than to turn around, go home, crawl back under the sheets, and stay there. But as long as I don't say anything out loud, I'll be okay. The courtyard is a cacophony of laughter and chatter, the bright lights strung across the once foreboding asylum casting a warm glow. Music blares from hidden speakers, and the air is filled with the smell of popcorn and sugary treats. I can see clusters of students, their faces lit with excitement and anticipation. The asylum, which once loomed ominously, now looks almost welcoming with its decorations and festive atmosphere.

As I walk through the grounds, the crunch of gravel under my boots is drowned out by the din of the party. A few more people wish me a happy birthday, their voices blending into the background noise. I respond with polite smiles, just as Alistair had taught me, but inside, I feel hollow.

"Morgana!" Sierra's voice is familiar, and I feel her presence coming towards me. When she finds me, she gives me the biggest hug. As her chest collides with mine, I can feel the pulsing emotions emanating from her. "I'm so sorry." I don't actually think she means for me to hear it. Ignoring it completely, I pull her back.

"Hey, this is a party, right? Isn't it meant to be fun or something?" I try to keep my tone light, though it feels forced. Her broken smile is a painful reminder of the emotions we're both trying to navigate.

"Yeah, it is," she replies, her voice wavering. But as she looks at me, her face suddenly pales, turning almost green.

"What's wrong?" I ask, my own concern rising as I follow her gaze.

"I thought demons didn't come back from the dead," Sierra manages to say, her voice trembling.

"They don't. They don't have souls." My own voice sounds distant, detached, as I follow her line of sight over my shoulder. Standing in the street is the boy I know as Death, but behind him is the biggest surprise of all.

Without a care for anyone in my way, I push through the crowd, my heart pounding in my chest. Dashing across the grass field, I stop immediately in front of him. I want to say something, but nothing comes out.

There he is, as tall as he used to be, the color in his flesh brighter than ever. Only this time, he looks more human. Even in his human form before, he had his piercings and some features that hinted at his true nature. This time, his skin is completely clear. His locks are just as wavy but fuller, and there are no signs of piercings. His hands are tucked into his pockets, and his white collared shirt blows slightly in the wind.

I am overwhelmed, my emotions a whirlwind. I can't bring myself to say anything.

"Holy crap," Sierra states as she comes to stand beside me. "Dude, I thought you were dead."

"So did I." He smiles, turning back to me. His brow furrows with concern as he walks toward me. "My lady?" I want to believe that what I'm seeing is real, but there's every possibility I could be hallucinating. "It is me," he reassures. I lift my hands to his face and caress his cheeks, needing to be sure he isn't just an illusion. His skin is warm, solid, and undeniably real.

"You're really here," I say, my voice barely a whisper.

"I'm really here." His final assurance is all I need. I grab hold of his neck and lift myself up towards him. Our lips meet, and as he caresses my lips with his tongue, I know it's truly him. When I eventually pull away, I am stunned, tears welling in my eyes. His presence is overwhelming, the warmth of his body a stark contrast to the cold emptiness I've felt since his death. The wind rustles around us, carrying the scents of the night and the distant sounds of the party. But in this moment, all I can focus on is Alistair.

"Alistair," I breathe, my voice thick with emotion. "How?" He turns and faces Death, who stands beside him. The boy barely grins before he responds.

"Demons with souls have to go somewhere."

My heart pounds, hearing that Alistair grew a soul. "I checked," I persist. "I checked several times to try and find a Soul Crystal with Alistair's soul in it, and there wasn't one."

"No one said his soul deserved to end up in Hell." I turn to him as I realize…

"You went to Heaven." He smiles at me and nods.

"So you're only here to say hello and goodbye." I can feel tears welling up inside me, but I'm not gonna let them fall just yet.

"I'm here to say hello." He grins.

My heart skips a beat, but the uncertainty gnaws at me. "Death, explain what happened. What's going to happen?"

Death's smile fades as he steps forward. "Alistair cannot be judged on a lifetime of obeying orders, so I bargained with the Council to reinstate Alistair to a position of his choosing. Either he can be reset and live as a human on Earth, where his actions can be determined, or he can return to his former state, a servant to the future Queen of Hell. He will have a soul, he will have the option to choose against obeying her commands, and he won't have a second chance if he dies again."

I turn to Alistair, my voice trembling. "Please, choose humanity. Even if it means forgetting me. You deserve a life that is yours and yours alone."

He looks at me, his eyes searching mine. "Is that what you really want?"

"All I want is for you to be happy," I whisper, tears threatening to spill over.

Alistair takes a deep breath and turns to Death. "I want to be reinstated to my former self."

My heart wrenches at his words, but I understand. His loyalty to me runs deeper than anything else. Death nods, a solemn expression on his face.

"Very well," Death says. "You understand the consequences, Alistair. This is your final chance."

"I understand," Alistair replies, his voice steady.

A moment of silence envelops us, the weight of his decision settling in. The air around us seems to shimmer, and I feel a surge of power as Alistair is transformed. His presence is overwhelming, a mix of his former strength and a new, profound essence.

He steps towards me, his eyes filled with determination. "I made this choice because being by your side is where I belong. My happiness lies in protecting you, Morgana."

Tears finally spill over as I reach out to him, my fingers trembling. "Thank you, Alistair. I promise I'll do everything to make sure you never regret this."

"I never will," he assures me, wrapping his arms around me in a protective embrace.

"Now that this is all settled, I'm sure you would all prefer to go join that party." Death stares up at me, eyes as hollow as usual. "I'll see you all again soon. Happy birthday, Morgana." His eerie words play back in my mind as he disappears in the night. Both of us simply stare at Sierra.

"Oh, I'm just standing here while you finish your conversation with the invisible man. Can I hug Alistair now?"