19. Unsure

19

Unsure

Morgana

I leave the school, feeling flustered and unsure of myself. My emotions are a tangled mess, and my thoughts race uncontrollably. I just had relations with a Hell's Demon who also happens to be an incubus, and I can't help but wonder if my human body can handle that long term. The energy he took from me leaves me feeling drained, but I didn't die. Maybe, just maybe, even though I might not have my powers, I still have angelic blood in my veins. I'm not sure, and the uncertainty gnaws at me.

As we walk back to the Hell's portal, I can't stop fidgeting. My hands are restless, my mind racing with questions and doubts. I glance at Alistair, who walks beside me, his presence a mixture of comfort and anxiety. He keeps glancing at me, his expression one of concern, and it only irritates me further.

"You keep staring at me, Alistair. What is it?" I snap, my voice sharper than I intended.

He looks taken aback but quickly composes himself. "I'm just checking if you're alright."

"I'm fine," I respond curtly, trying to dismiss the conversation.

"But you shouldn't be. I could have killed you," he says, his voice laced with guilt and worry.

"You didn't," I retort, but the words feel hollow. As we approach the portal, I feel a sense of dread. The familiar sight of the swirling dark energy that marks the entrance to Hell should be comforting, but instead, it feels ominous. I stop and turn to Alistair, my heart heavy with regret and determination.

"Alistair, I don't know what to do," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. He steps closer, his eyes filled with a mixture of concern and resolve. "We'll figure it out together, my lady. You're stronger than you think, and so am I."

I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of unspoken words pressing down on me. "There's something else," I say, my voice trembling. "I... I have feelings for you, Alistair. And if I get my powers back, we can't be together."

His expression softens, a tender look in his eyes. "Morgana, no matter what happens, I'll be by your side. If you stay a mortal, I'll be here. If you become an angel again and get your powers back, I'll still be here."

Tears well up in my eyes as I struggle to find the right words. "But what if... what if a suitor comes along for me in the future? Someone more fitting for an angel?"

He smiles, a hint of mischief in his eyes. "Well, my lady, I doubt any suitor will ever make you scream like that again."

I feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment, a mix of amusement and mortification. "Alistair!"

He chuckles softly, his laughter a soothing balm to my troubled heart. "I'm serious, Morgana. Whoever comes into your life, I'll still be by your side, I'm your servant, until the day I'm executed. I will always be here for you."

"W-Why would you think your servitude will end with your execution?"

"Simple. Someone will figure out I'm in love with my master. As soon as the Council hears of it, they'll execute me. I know the laws."

"Then never say that again."

"Say what?"

"That you love me. If this whole human thing is permanent then sure, do whatever you want, but if I get my powers back I forbid you to speak those words. I won't have you executed for it." We stand in silence for a moment, the gravity of our conversation sinking in. As we prepare to step through the portal, I feel a surge of emotion, a clarity I hadn't expected. "Alistair?" I say, my voice steady.

"Yes, my lady?"

"I don't think I want my powers back."

We arrive at my room in silence, the familiar dark stone walls of Hell providing a strange sense of comfort. I step inside, my thoughts still swirling from our conversation. Alistair follows me to the door, as he always does, his silent sentinel. He remains there, standing guard in case he is needed.

I begin to undress, changing into something more comfortable, but I can't help but notice Alistair shifting uncomfortably. His usual calm demeanor is disrupted, and he's itching his neck and chest through his clothes. It's not like him to be so restless.

"Alistair," I call out softly, turning to face him. "Is something wrong?"

He looks up, his expression momentarily startled before he masks it with a calm facade. "No, my lady. I'm just... a bit uncomfortable."

I step closer, my concern deepening. "You've been scratching yourself." I ask, my voice tinged with worry.

He hesitates, then nods slowly. "Yes. It seems the change has accelerated, and the urges are stronger than I anticipated."

I frown, feeling a pang of guilt. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

He shakes his head, but his eyes betray a hint of desperation. "I don't want to burden you with this. It's something I must manage." His words hit me like a punch to the gut. A horrid realization dawns on me. I've forced the change on him, which means he will get the itch. The itch is something that makes Incubi unstable and want to drain energy more often. Because he's never felt intimacy, it would have been easy for him to resist that. Now, I've put him in a position where his urges might become uncontrollable.

"Alistair," I begin, my voice trembling, "I've forced the change on you." He looks up at me with a guilty expression but it lessens quickly.

"If I'm honest, the urges have come before, it's actually been difficult for me. So I…"

"What?"

"I used to…do something to upset you, whatever would entice you to punish me physically, it seemed to drive the urges away."

His confession hits me like a cold wave. The times I've lashed out at him, thinking I was punishing him, were actually moments that helped him control his urges. I feel a mix of guilt and confusion. "Why didn't you tell me?" I ask softly, my anger replaced by a deep sadness.

"It's not something easy to talk about, my lady," he says, his voice gentle. "And I didn't want to burden you with my problems."

We continue walking in silence, the weight of our conversation hanging heavily between us. My mind churns with thoughts of what I've done and what it means for our future. Can I continue to be around him, knowing the effects I have on him? Can he control his urges without my harsh discipline? "What can I do?"

"My lady, I'm fine."

"Oh for fuck's sake, Alistair!" I bite my tongue quickly, I can't let anyone hear overhear us. I turn towards my dressing table, in the drawer I search for candle and place it on the desk. I wave my hand over it, rather forgetting I can't light it myself anymore. "Light it." I state. He looks almost petrified as he waves a hand from the door and the candle lights. I'm not surprised, I never wanted people to hear him when he was being punished, so I'd light the candle to silence any sounds that came from this room. "Lock the door." He does so without question before I start to pace up and down the room. "First of all, you know I don't like lies, I'm a bit annoyed about that. Secondly, I'm pissed that you let me provoke the change, I'm a teenager, I don't know any better."

"Neither do I." He states.

" Quiet ." He snaps his mouth closed and looks down at the floor, so I take the next few paces towards him. "You're not under any obligation to follow my orders, you're choosing too. I respect you for that. You've chosen to bend the knee to me." My mind is racing, I'm trying to hold on to a moment of authority before it's all gone. "You're going to listen to these words, carefully, and you're going to follow this command, since you feel so obligated to – do you understand?" He nods slowly, but doesn't speak. "When we are alone, you're always to lock the door and light that candle. From that moment I'm no longer Morgana, Future Queen of Hell, Princess of Darkness, whatever crap you want to drone on…" Am I shaking? "Human, angel, whatever, it doesn't matter to me if I can't do what I want, and I've always done what I want. And what I want…is to please you, make you feel…what you need to feel. Do you understand what I am saying?" He's looking at me like I just slapped him. "If you want me to punish you, I'd be just as glad but something tells me its not going to help as much."

"I'm not sure the human you has what it takes. You wouldn't last an hour."

"I'll last longer than you. Probably all night." I challenge.

"I could kill you." His words are barely audible.

"Then I better die smiling." It's swift, he grabs my waist and spins us around till our positions switch. He pushes up against me and pulls me closer to what seems to be a kiss. Ready to brace myself, I open my mouth, pursing my lips. I feel a tongue slip in and I respond with mine - however the tongue keeps slipping in and as I open my eyes I quickly realize his tongue is much longer and larger than last time. It slides its way to the back of my throat, as I gag, he uses the moment to wrap his hands around my breasts. I twitch, my body responding to the strange sensation, as I choke, he pulls the tongue back and lets out a small laugh. "Still think you'll last the night?" He whispers.

I beckon him by pulling him closer back into a kiss. Alistair takes his hand and moves my skirt, and underwear aside, slipping his fingers deep inside of me. Letting out a whimper, my eyes roll back as he slides four more fingers into me, feeling as though my body was expanding to let him in. "Please…" I plead.

He smirks, "I know I shouldn't, but I like it when you beg." He grabs the bale of my neck and takes a large bite, which makes my body flinch uncontrollably. It feels as if I've been paralyzed and I can no longer move my body. Picking me up by my waist he lays me onto the bed, spreading my legs apart. I'm breathless, anticipating what I couldn't possibly be imagining – but I was. "Are you ready?" He teases.

I let out a small whimper because I've lost my voice and the amount of pleasure I am experiencing is giving me the inability to properly speak. He let his tongue slip out and he bends over me, lightly licking my clit while teasing me. My pussy almost crying out to be tasted, I let out a small moan to let him know I'm ready. His tongue bashful, traces the outside of my thighs, around my pussy and back to the clit. My eyes welling up, I'm practically begging to get tongue fucked. Alistair notices my body trembling, finally allowing his tongue inside of me. I wince, as the tongue thrusts inside me.

"Fuck!" I yell out. The pleasure was so good it sent a shock into me so that I could finally speak. He continues on, throwing my legs up, my knees close to my face, continuing inside me. I'm going crazy, it's just his tongue inside of me and it's making me go mad! Alistair slowly takes his tongue out, places my legs back onto the bed, and lays on top of me, turning my face away from his. I can feel something near my pussy, pressing onto it, it feels huge, almost like a baseball bat. This…this was different to earlier today, he seemed more…human. But this? This was demonic! He bites me on the neck, and continues licking my breasts all the way to my eyes, whispering sweet nothings into my ears.

"Are you afraid of what's to come next? Most don't survive this part…" He whispers.

"I did earlier." I state.

"I held back, Morgana ." My name from his lips, I could die.

"Ugh, why are we talking, just fuck me already!"

"Are you sure? Is this really what you want?" He presses it up against me tighter.

"Yes!"

He wraps his hand around my neck gripping tightly, his breath against my neck. "Louder."

"Fuck me!" He lets out a loud laugh, and spreads my legs, pressing into me what felt to be like a giant forearm. I cry out in pleasure, as his grip around my neck doesn't loosen and I feel as if I am going to slip out of consciousness. Pounding into me, each time I feel my body give in to it. His thrusts matching my breaths, I try to stay awake but the pleasure is too much. He occasionally slows down, taking it out slowly then thrusting back into me with all his strength. Whimpering, I beg for him to cum inside of me.

Wrapping his arms around my body to lift me up, we're face to face sitting up as he thrashes his dick into me. I bounce up and down, my body feeling like a rag doll – I can feel my body on fire. I can barely keep my eyes open and as the thrusts get faster I feel as if I'm going to pass out.

I can barely speak, but I know if I pass out now it would be all for nothing. I grab what feels to be his shoulders as tightly as I possibly can.

Pounding into me harder and faster he throws my body down and thrusts two more times, letting everything out inside me. I can feel it filling my up, and my body responding. After a few breaths I try to keep my eyes open, but I've already succumbed to the pleasure. Alistair lays his body on to mine, licks my face and whispers into my ear. "The night is still young," He taunts.