21. Brooke

TWENTY-ONE

brOOKE

A s soon as I entered the venue with Jude, Kim whisked me away with barely a few words. I turned over my shoulder, seeing Jude and Henry, my brother-in-law, shake hands, and I removed my arm from my sister's grip. "You couldn't even give me a minute to say goodbye?"

"Goodbye?" She opened the door to Sabrina's dressing room. "What do you need to say goodbye to Jude for?"

I had no answer, except that those few minutes when we'd spoken outside had moved mountains, and I needed time to learn the new geography of my life. We still hadn't come right out and told each other how we felt, but I didn't need it. Not right now, at least. Now until we could be alone and talk this all through. Until I had the quiet to tell him that I loved him. That I thought I'd been in love with him for a while.

Sabrina spun in her chair, practically glowing. "Brookie!"

I bent to hug her, careful of her dress and makeup. My younger sister was easily excitable, and we'd agreed it would be better for us to get ready on our own, so she could have time for herself before she became a self-proclaimed "emotional mess."

She sniffed in my ear. "I'm so happy you're here. "

I petted her shoulder. "Of course I'm here. You aren't getting married without your oldest and best sister."

Kim hip-checked me out of the way to hold out her hand for Sabrina. She stood, and the three of us found our reflection in the long mirror across from us. Sabrina in her bright-white gown, Kim and I next to her in our dresses. Me, in my pink floral dress that wasn't far off from the dress I'd told Jude about getting married in. Kim, in her watermelon-colored dress with pockets. Sabrina had told us to wear whatever we wanted, as long as we could have fun in it.

The three of us smiled, and I didn't feel one ounce of jealousy. Not even a shadow.

"You ready to go see your groom?" I asked, and Sabrina nodded.

"I know he's gonna be so hot in a tux."

Kim laughed. "At least you know why you're marrying him."

With last checks in the mirror, we exited the dressing room so Sabrina and Everett could have their first-look photo shoot. I noticed Jude with Henry and my parents off to the side. I studied him, laughing, telling some story with his hands, how relaxed he was with my family.

How good he looked in his suit.

With his chin-length hair pulled back into a little ponytail, a few wisps hung down by his ears, and he tucked them away before running his hand over his beard in that absent-minded way I loved. Maybe because I would have liked to be the one combing my fingers over it.

Kim elbowed me. "What's got you all starry-eyed?"

"Hm?"

My sister pointedly shifted her line of sight from me to Jude, but I played dumb. "Nothing."

She shot me a dubious glare. "You and Jude, huh?"

I shrugged. She didn't fall for it.

She flicked her hand through the air like a queen speaking to her servants. "I'm not saying I knew it would happen eventually, but it's not like I didn't say it."

"When? To who?"

"Like, all the time. To Sabrina and Mom. You two are—" she crooked her fingers in air quotes "—best friends."

I shoved her shoulder. "We are best friends."

"Straight men and women can't be friends."

"Yes, they can."

She spun to face me, blocking out my view of Jude. "So, you two are doing it?"

I snorted a laugh. "Doing it."

"Well, are you?" She backhanded my arm hard enough to knock me off-balance.

"Ow. And, yes!"

My outburst caught everyone's attention, the bride and groom's, the photographer's, my family's, Jude's. I pasted on a smile, my shoulders up by my ears, and Jude's brows narrowed.

I waved off his worry then flipped around on my sister. "You're embarrassing me."

"Me?" She pushed her hair over her shoulder, as if she would never embarrass me, and arched her penciled-in brows. She'd overplucked in college, and they'd never quite recovered. Served her right. "Are you together or what?"

"I don't know, and I'm not talking about this with you."

"Why not?"

"Because, apparently, I can't trust you with any information since you go around gossiping about me to everyone."

"Brina and Mom are not everyone."

I huffed. They were the ones who mattered. Dad, too, of course. I folded my arms over my chest. "It's new, okay? We haven't even talked about what we are or are not, so I'm not going to talk about this with you until I talk to him."

"But look at him over there." She pointed at Jude, and I smacked her hand down. Honestly. A few months home with a baby, and she'd lost all sense of propriety. "He already gets along well with everyone. He's been around so long, he could slip right in. You , I guess I should say. Right?"

Her lascivious eyebrow waggle sent me over the edge, but before I could reply, the photographer called us over to take some photos with Sabrina and then Everett's two groomsmen. And before we knew it, we were shuffled back to the dressing room because the guests had begun to arrive.

That was when they cornered me. Sabrina, Kim, and my parents.

I held my hands out to head them off. "Yes, Jude and I are here together. Together together."

Sabrina shot her finger up. "That was my idea."

"To get them together?" Dad asked.

"No, for him to come with her."

"Well, you two have been friends for a long time," Mom noted, and they all nodded.

Dad shrugged. "I like him."

"Me too," Mom agreed.

Sabrina clapped. "I love him. Do you love him?"

I rolled my eyes.

Sabrina spoke out of the corner of her mouth, purposely not lowering her voice. "She totally loves him."

I popped my hands on my hips. "I told Kimberly I'm not talking about this with you all until I talk to him. We have a lot to consider, okay? It's not like this is some random guy from a dating app?—"

"Thank god," Mom said with a wave of her hand.

"And we have a lot of history to sort through?—"

"History together is good. A solid foundation," Dad told me with a smile.

"He's got the kids to think about and?—"

"And don't you love them?" Sabrina asked, head tilted.

With a sigh, I flopped back into a chair. "You're exhausting. This family is exhausting. "

Sufficiently proud of themselves, they kept busy by fixing Sabrina's veil and relating some story about Dad's sister, Aunt Maeve, and all her ailments. Mom guessed she'd have a fainting spell to steal Sabrina's spotlight, and we all placed bets on how early it would happen.

Then it was time for the ceremony.

We were guided down a corridor toward the garden area. The golf course's landscaping was impeccable, with lush green lawns and vibrant flower beds meticulously tended to. An archway covered in vines and white roses marked the ceremony spot, with rows of white chairs fanning out behind it.

The music swelled, a soft strings version of Jason Derulo's "Talk Dirty" because of some inside joke that I didn't want to know about.

Kim walked down the aisle first, and I offered my youngest sister a peck on the cheek before following. Once we were in place, Mom and Dad both walked Sabrina down the aisle as a lovely little break in tradition.

My sister beamed, Everett bit his lip as his chin wobbled, and I coasted my gaze around the area, searching for Jude. I located him in the third row, smiling at me, as if he'd been watching me the whole time. His eyes shone with such tenderness that it rendered me breathless, and it wasn't until my sister handed me her bouquet that I broke our eye contact, needing to focus on this present moment and not the future vision in front of me.

The ceremony was quick, and as my sister and her husband recessed back up the aisle, I found Jude again. His smile was wide and welcoming, only for me, and I bit my lip to keep from grinning too brightly.

With the photos already taken care of, we were free to enjoy the reception, which was held in the golf course's ballroom. As soon as I made my way inside to my assigned table, Jude appeared, his hand at the small of my back .

"You okay?" he murmured, leaning in close.

I nodded, tipping my head back, loving that I could loop my arms around his neck if I wanted, so I did. "Yeah. I'm really happy for them."

He studied me with rapt attention, his eyes drifting back and forth between my own before he seemed satisfied. Then he pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead. "Here." He held out my purse to me, so I could switch my heels for my sneakers, and I moaned in gratitude.

"Better knock that off, honeybee. We're in public."

"You gonna massage my feet later?" I asked, half teasing, but he merely smiled.

"You only have to ask."

I popped a kiss on his lips, tossed my heels into my bag and hid it under the table, and then took his hand in mine. "Come on, let's go get a drink. I fear my family will drive me to get drunk tonight."

At the bar, Jude ordered a beer for himself and a white wine for me. "Why's that?"

"They insist on me telling them everything."

"About us?"

I accepted my wine from the bartender. "Yup. It's Sabrina's wedding, but all she wanted to know about was you."

"Well…" He sipped his beer and exhaled a rough breath as if he had the world on his shoulders. "I can't help that they love me more than you."

I rolled my eyes and thumped him on the chest. He hugged me to him, so I couldn't hit him anymore, both of us laughing into each other's shoulders.

"Don't you two look cozy," Mom said, and Jude and I both turned to her.

"Told you," I mumbled.

"Hi, Sheila. How are you?" Jude asked, releasing me to hug my mother.

"I'm fine, and I take it you're fine too? "

"I'm doing very well. Thank you."

Mom waved her index finger between us with a little wink. "It's about damn time you two realized how good you are for each other."

I downed about a third of my wine while Jude raised his drink to her. "What can I say besides good things take time?"

"That's right." Mom practically danced in place. "I need to go mingle. You two have fun."

But as soon as she left, the bride and groom took her place, and it was the same damn conversation all over again. Then Kimberly and Henry, and then Dad. Even freaking Aunt Maeve got in on the action, only after detailing her gout and bunions. Of course.

As always, Jude charmed each and every person. Not that he hadn't already endeared himself to them. The next few hours passed in a blur of toasts, music, food, stories, and a late-to-the-game fainting spell, which Maeve recovered from fine. When the DJ announced the last dance of the night, Jude tugged me out to the floor and into his arms, holding me flush against him, and I reveled in his warm embrace, spinning in a slow circle to "Maybe I'm Amazed."

"Did you have fun?" I asked after a while, and he nodded, adjusting his hold so his palms lay flat on my back.

"I'm really glad I'm here, and I'm really glad I'm here with you."

His gaze dipped down to my throat, where I wore one of the candy necklaces he'd procured as a favor. He bent, his teeth scraping my skin as he bit one of the hard candies off the string. I felt it everywhere .

" You better knock that off, babe. We're in public."

He chewed and swallowed the candy with a cocky smile, and since we wouldn't be doing a lot of chatting after we ditched this party, I figured we had to have some discussion about us now .

I swallowed a few nerves and asked him outright, "What are we going to do now?"

"Try to sneak out of here without Aunt Maeve seeing us, that's for sure."

"I mean after that."

"After that…" He focused somewhere beyond my shoulder. "It's going to take time. I wish I could give you a concrete answer. I wish I could walk in the front door with you and have the kids be totally okay with it, but I'm… I'm just not sure."

"I get that."

He slanted his head back to me. "Sebastian had tryouts this morning, and he has them again tomorrow."

"Yeah? How'd he do?"

"All right, I guess. I want to get through the next few days with him, and then maybe we can talk about possibly saying something to them?"

"Yeah. I'm fine with whatever you want to do."

"I don't…" He licked his lips and took a deep breath, inching his hands higher up my back, as if he needed something to hold on to for whatever he was mentally hyping himself up for. "They've been through so much, and I don't want to hurt them."

"No, I know. I know. You don't have to explain?—"

"You're important to me, Brooke. So damn important. Your friendship means everything to me, and I…" He briefly closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, I thought I could crawl inside for how unguarded they were to me. "I love you."

His words weren't a surprise. Merely a statement of fact. Comfortable and settled. Like slipping on my favorite worn-yet-beloved sweatshirt. That was what being loved by Jude was. Coming home after years in the making.

"I love you too." I slid my hands to the back of his head, and he pressed his forehead to mine, both of us giggling like we were high. But this one was completely different.

This one wouldn't fade.

We kissed, a breath trapped between our lips, and still, we kept our fingers woven in each other's hair, refusing to move even a centimeter as the song came to an end.

"I love you," he said. "And I can't mess this up—for the kids, for you, but for me too. I can't lose you. I can't go through that again."

"I understand, and you have to know by now that I'm not going anywhere."

He lifted his head, sweeping his thumbs over my cheeks. "I don't know if I deserve you in my life, but I'm sure as hell gonna take advantage of you being here."

I bit back a laugh. "That sounded really sexual."

"Go ahead and ruin the moment. Get your head out of the gutter."

I stepped away from him. "If I'm in the gutter, it's only because I've followed you down there."

He laced his fingers with mine to usher me off the dance floor, slyly patting my butt on the way. "Then let's get you home so I can really take advantage of you."

"Mm. I like the sound of that."