CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

Maven

FOURTEEN MONTHS LATER

Bright pink hues paint the sky. It snowed again last night, leaving the ground under a new frost-covered blanket. It's mornings like these that make me miss him more than usual. What I wouldn't give to be standing here with him beside me. I worry about what his morning looks like wherever he is. Is it as beautiful as this one? Is he safe? Is he alive? These are the questions that run through my mind on a daily basis. I've learned to live with the memories of him and pray that they're not all he is now—someone who was. That bright light in my heart, never to be seen or felt again. I refuse to believe it. On those nights I've spent looking through my telescope, I often find myself wishing that the stars mapping across the galaxy could carry my voice to him to tell him I'm thinking of him.

But Renn isn't the only one I think of, especially on those perfect, stargazing evenings. I can feel my dad, and I wonder what he would think about all this. I can almost picture my dad's reaction if I told him my boyfriend was an intergalactic space traveler. He would probably be more excited than anything, and maybe that is why it was easier for me to accept the truth of who Renn is. My dad had made me curious about the unknowns of the universe, instead of afraid. I think we both felt, somewhere inside us, that there was more out there; it just turned out to be more than we could have ever imagined.

Shy whines by the front door, waiting for me to finish up my cup of coffee.

"Alright. One minute and then we will go play fetch."

I rinse out the cup and place it into the sink before heading upstairs to put on warmer clothes. I pull off my oversized shirt, and Renn's necklace gets tangled in my hair. I twist it free from my long strands, then rub my thumb over it a few times before letting it fall against my skin where it has remained every day since Renn went away.

My phone starts to ring from where it's lying on the bed. I look to see a picture of Tasha and me light up the screen. It's a picture of us on the latest retreat. I went with Tasha again this year. At first, it was the last thing I wanted to do without Renn—there are too many memories of our love beginning in those woods—but then I thought of what Renn would have said if I told him I didn't want to go. Keep going. I'll catch up to you soon. I can hear his rugged voice so clear in my mind, the taste of him lingering on my mouth.

"Hey, Tash," I say, answering the phone.

"Hey. What are you up to today?" she asks in a bright, happy tone.

"Nothing much. What about you?"

"I thought it would be nice if you came with us to dinner tonight." Her voice sounds hopeful. I want to say no, especially with the fresh layer of snow that is no doubt also coating the roads, but I haven't seen her in a few days. Which is a long time for us. Even after all these months, I still haven't told her the truth about Renn. I hate keeping things from her, but it never felt like the right time to share with her that my Earth boyfriend was back on his home planet, and that he may or may not come back.

Shy barks loudly, making me jump. Clearly, her patience is up.

"You know what, Tash? That sounds great," I say enthusiastically.

"Great! Meet you at The Blue Bird at seven?"

"Perfect. See you then."

Ending the call, I rush downstairs to pull on my winter hiking boots. My phone pings with a message from my mom.

Mom: Getting excited to see you in a couple of weeks for your birthday! And for you to officially meet Ethan.

Ethan is my mom's boyfriend. Still feels weird to think about, but he is actually a really nice guy. He lost his wife in a similar circumstance and has a couple of kids. I'm happy for my mom, and to be honest, Ethan coming into her life helped a lot with my mom not asking too many questions about Renn. I told her, and everyone else for that matter, the same thing I told Tasha.

I text back quickly, although Shy grows more impatient as she jumps up, trying to lick my face.

Me: Me too! Going into town tonight for dinner with Mina and Tash. I'll call you when I get home.

Mom: Sounds good. Love you!

Me: Love you too!

I stuff my phone into my pocket. "Alright, alright. Let's go," I tell Shy. She practically breaks down the door before I can pull it open. No matter the weather, she always wants to play, and I amuse her by following her wherever she wants to go. She knows the woods just as well as I do. Better, probably.

We play our game of fetch, me throwing the ball for her so she can dig through the deep snow to find it—walking further into the woods as I keep throwing the ball through the trees, watching her prance through the snow, happily wagging her tail and coming up with white fluff on her face when she digs through snow banks. Again and again, she joyfully comes back. The snow absorbs all of the sounds except for Shy's panting and the sound of the snow packed underneath my boots. So when it suddenly goes deathly quiet, I pause. I wait a moment for Shy to come back, thinking it must be taking her a little bit longer to find the ball, but she doesn't come. The memory of the night Locke came for Renn comes to mind.

"Shy? Come, Shy!" Nothing but dead silence returns my call. "Come on, girl!" Just as I'm about to panic, I hear her barking somewhere up ahead. "Damn dog," I say under my breath. I run as best I can through the drifts as I follow her barking. Pretty soon, I come up on a bend of rocks and trees. Shy's barking seems to be coming from the other side, so I sprint over, and as I round the corner, the first thing I see is Shy's tail wagging wildly, but when I see why, I almost drop to my knees.

He's crouched down, petting Shy's ears and trying to stay upright as her excitement almost pushes him to the ground. My body is frozen in total shock, but then he looks up at me. When our eyes lock, I can't breathe or move.

He slowly stands.

He's wearing a black jacket and jeans. His hair is longer, but his face is clean-shaven. And then he smiles. I don't know who moves first, but all at once, we are running to each other. I don't get too far through the snow, but when we reach each other, I practically throw myself at him and he catches me, spinning me like the day I ran to him at the lookout. The sobs that escape me are uncontrollable, but then, suddenly I'm laughing, and a deep rich laugh erupts from him too. Shy barks happily next to us, jumping and begging for attention, but Renn keeps holding me, my arms still wrapped around his neck. I feel his chest as he breathes deeply in and out against me, and it finally convinces me that this isn't a dream, this is really happening. I finally loosen my grip, and he sets me back down onto the snow.

It's Renn. He's back.

I'm almost nervous to look up into green gray eyes, but when I see them, I can't keep myself from kissing him.

Our lips move effortlessly together, and when his fingers dig into my hair, I can't help the soft gasp that escapes my mouth, and I feel Renn smile against my lips. He breaks our kiss, but not before he bites my lip playfully. His breathing is shaky, and I think he trembles slightly as I smile up at him and place my hand on his jaw.

His eyes shine with tears, and then, finally, that deep voice, the one I've only been able to hear in the recordings or in my dreams, fills my ears as he speaks, barely above a whisper.

"I'm home."

THE END