Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

ROMAN

A s I entered my darkened home, I recognized the thick chordal textures of Rachmaninoff's Prelude in C-sharp minor . It was an extremely dark and emotional piece.

I told my butler to give the staff the night off and waved him away as I approached the open plan living area where Aurora was playing. As night had fallen, the stained-glass windows above her were devoid of their usual bright jewel tones and instead loomed over her like a dark, disapproving presence. A century earlier, there would have been solemn worshippers kneeling in this very spot, as they begged an unforgiving God for mercy. The staff had lit several gold candelabras in the room, which cast an unearthly glow on the scene.

Aurora's deft fingers raced over the ivory keys as she swayed to the music, eyes closed. A surge of pride warmed inside my chest. The clever girl was playing the advanced and complicated piece entirely from memory.

As I stepped closer, there was the sour tone of a missed note.

She knew I was here, watching her.

Still, she gave no indication and continued to play.

It was a macabre piece, filled with anxiety and despair. The melody was meant to mimic the somnolent bells of a funeral while the rapid tempo of the B section was meant to inspire a heightened sense of fear and angst.

Her playing this piece spoke volumes.

I settled into a high-backed oxblood leather chair by the banked fire and listened.

Forced myself to listen would be more accurate.

I listened as my sweet girl poured out all her fear, anxiety, and trauma onto the ivory keys.

I had done this to her.

And, if I followed through with my plans, would do much worse before all was said and done.

The candles illuminated her pale face. I watched with terrifying fascination as the play of emotions she could not contain swept over her features.

As the music heightened to a crescendo, it washed over me like a wave of shame and revulsion. I was drowning in the dark waters. Aurora's notes were wrapping around the both of us. I tried to shake off the disturbing thoughts, but they clung to my soul like a spider web.

My God, I loved her.

I love her.

Never in my life had I experienced the true, heart-wrenching pain of another individual. I had always been immune to such weak emotions, hardened by a lifetime of neglect and detachment. I had convinced myself that what I felt for her was above love. To me, love was a frivolous waste of an emotion. I had wanted her above all others from the moment I first laid eyes on her, but that wasn't love. It was obsession, a drive to possess a treasure. It was supposed to be nothing different from the emotion I felt when I acquired a hard-to-obtain company, or new technology, or bent someone to my will.

It was a rush of power, not love.

It was never supposed to be love.

I glanced at the sideboard in my study, visible through the arched doorway. Fuck, I wanted a drink. I shook my head. No, I swore I would never drink like that in front of Aurora. A casual drink before attending an event, yes. A celebratory drink at a party, sure. But I never wanted her to witness me drinking in anger or when stressed. As it was, it tortured me that she'd seen me drunk and raving last night.

Love.

Even my cold, logical brain could not deny that the very thing I just described was a sign of love, of caring. Fuck.

I love her.

I rubbed a palm over my face.

I was not prepared for this. The reality I had been deluding myself into believing, that the only reason I wanted to propose to her was because she would make a good mother to my future children, was absurd.

Goddammit, I wanted to propose because I wanted her as my wife , in the purest sense of the word.

Not the mother of my children.

Not a trophy possession.

Not a fuck toy.

Not my own cute little whore.

My wife. My love. My own.

This was a disaster. I knew my nature. If I was ruthless when I thought my motive was a mere desire to possess, I could not imagine what I would be capable of when I knew it was love.

Once more, I stared at her beautiful profile. This sweet, innocent, talented, amazing woman who didn't deserve me. She didn't deserve the darkness I had brought, and would bring, into her life. She was right to run as far away as possible from me.

Now, it was too late.

Now that I finally accepted that it was love that drove me… it was too late for both of us.

Far. Too. Late.

Aurora's hands stilled.

I rose and crossed to her.

She turned on the piano bench. Her eyes were downcast, avoiding my gaze as she spoke. "Did you know Rachmaninoff dreamed he was attending his own funeral and that was what inspired this piece?" Her voice was soft and low, devoid of emotion.

Careful not to startle her, I reached down and cupped her cheeks in my palms. I gently turned her face up to me.

Tears glinted in her sapphire eyes. "Roman, I?—"

I swiped at her tears with the pad of my thumb. "Stop. Please, baby. Don't say another word." I lifted her off the bench and pressed her body close to mine as I wrapped an arm around her. "I was wrong. I never should have pushed you into accepting my proposal. It was too soon."

Her hands gripped at my suit lapels. "Do you mean that, Roman?"

I kissed her on her forehead, then on the top of each cheek, then gently on her lips. "I do."

My first lesson in love was that it was easier to lie.

When she was a possession I wanted to obtain, it was far more fun to tell her the truth, or at least something brutally close to the truth, to keep her guessing. It amused me to know she knew some of the despicable things I had done to claim her, and yet she opened her legs for me anyway. There was power in that. The power to overrun another person's sense of self-preservation, to win out over their own conscience and sense of right and wrong.

But now things had shifted.

I now had a stake in this twisted, toxic game we were playing.

If I was capable of terrible things to capture her just to fuck her, there was nothing I wouldn't do now to make her love me back.

I pressed her forward until her back was against the piano. I claimed her lips. Not in my usual tyrannical way, but softly. I let my lips linger over hers. Breathing in her air as my own. The tip of my tongue teasing her bottom lip before skimming over her cheek to taste her tears.

Aurora reached for the buttons of my suit vest.

My hands cupped hers, stilling her. "Not here. Upstairs in our bed."

She frowned.

I had fucked her countless times on this piano, under this piano, and in front of the fireplace. There were very few rooms in this house that I hadn't bent her over a chair and whipped her raw with my belt before fucking her senseless, but things had changed. I was sure I would be back to my debauched self tomorrow, but tonight I wanted to make love to the woman I loved.

I lifted her in my arms and carried her up the stairs to our bedroom. I placed her gently on the bed, then pushed her hands aside as I undressed her. As I unbuttoned her blouse, I had a vision of the torn shreds and scattered buttons from the blouse she was wearing earlier this morning. Reining in my still primal desire to conquer and dominate, I forced myself to take it slow. This was for her, not me. I needed to regain her trust.

When she was finally naked, I let my gaze slide leisurely over her creamy skin and beautiful curves. "Open your legs."

A pretty blush blossomed on her cheeks as she obeyed me.

"Good girl," I crooned softly, running the edge of my palm down the hard length of my cock as I quickly unbuttoned my suit vest with my other hand.

"Now caress that sweet pussy. Get it ready for me."

She placed her hand between her legs.

"Not like that, with just your middle finger so I can see."

She bit her lip and groaned as she splayed her fingers wide, using the middle one to caress down the seam of her pussy lips.

I pulled my dress shirt over my head as I kicked off my shoes and socks. "Cup your breast with your other hand."

She pressed her palm against the lower curve of her breast. Her dusky pink, pert nipple poked out between her fingers.

I lowered my zipper. "Pinch your nipple."

She pinched her nipple, a low moan escaping her lips.

I lowered my trousers and boxers and kicked them away. Fisting my shaft, I growled, "Harder. Pretend it's my teeth."

Her jewel eyes glazed over with want as she did as I commanded.

"Now lift your hips. Show me that pussy."

She pressed her hands into the covers and clawed at the blanket as she lifted her hips.

"What do you want, baby?"

"You," she breathed. "Only you."

I climbed onto the bed between her open legs. With my palms on the curves of her ass, I lifted her even higher. My gaze shifted from her pussy to her abdomen, to the peaks of her breasts, to her open mouth, then finally to her desire-lit eyes. "What do you want from me?"

Her blush deepened.

I leaned in and let my warm breath caress her. Tease her. "Tell me, baby girl. What do you want?"

Her head turned to the side. "I… don't make me say it."

"Do you want this?"

I pushed the tip of my tongue against her pussy until I felt the press of her clit. I flicked and sucked it. Her hips bucked, but I kept a firm hold on her body by draping her legs over my shoulders. I applied more pressure with my tongue, relaxing into a slow, steady rhythm.

"Oh, God!"

"Is this what you want, kitten? You want me to lick this sweet pussy?" I kept my mouth on her as I spoke, knowing the press of my lips and the feel of my breath would drive her wild.

"Yes. Please, don't… don't stop."

"Never."

I increased the pressure and rhythm until her body tensed in my arms. She gasped and held her breath with her eyes closed and her torso stretched upward. I leaned back, still keeping a firm grip on her but allowing her body to take over as the orgasm crested. I waited until the moment her body relaxed and she let out a long, slow breath before continuing. I gently set her hips back onto the bed. Leaning over her, I kissed her breasts, her navel, the soft skin of her inner thigh. I then used the barest brush of my tongue against her clit again.

Her hips bucked as her fingers delved into my hair, trying to pull my head back. "Wait, no. I'm too sensitive."

"Shhh, baby. Daddy knows best."

I hadn't really explored any daddy kink with her in the bedroom yet, but it just felt right in this moment. I wanted to make love to her but still needed for it to have a dark, taboo twist.

My comment hit the spot.

Aurora's eyes rolled back as her mouth opened in a full-throated moan. Her knees opened wider. I pressed my hand on her abdomen in a gentle show of dominance and to keep her steady while I once more feasted on her sweet flesh. She mewed and whimpered at first as her sensitive clit responded to the pressure of my tongue, but soon her baser needs took over.

Her fingers once more delved into my hair, but this time, it was to pull me closer. I reveled in her second release of the night.

As her body recovered, I rose up between her thighs. I wrapped a hand around my painfully erect cock and placed it at her slick entrance. Instead of my usual brutal claiming, I eased in gently, allowing her body to adjust. Sweat broke out on my brow as I clenched my teeth, fighting every instinct in my body to thrust hard.

Inch after painful inch, I fought back my inner demons and allowed her body to set the pace. When I was finally fully seated inside her tight warmth, I leaned over her supine form. Resting a forearm near her head, I slowly moved my hips, taking time to grind and swivel them against her pussy.

She wrapped her legs around my hips. "Please, Roman. Harder!"

I ignored her plea. I kept with the methodical pace, relishing the soft feel of her flesh gripping my cock.

She raked her nails down my back. I hissed at the delicious pain.

"Roman! I can't! Please! I need you to fuck me!" she begged.

My breath came in deep gasps as I tried to fight back. "No, this isn't about that tonight."

She placed her hands on either side of my head and looked deeply into my eyes. "Fuck me… Daddy."

My resolve shattered. The taboo nature of my pursuing her despite our age difference played into the erotic fantasy as much as did her sweet innocent face, imploring me to dirty fuck her.

I fisted her hair and wrenched her head back. The moment caused her torso to rise. Her nipples were practically begging me to bite them. I sank my teeth into her soft flesh and shifted my hips back until my cock was barely inside of her, before surging forward. I pounded into her body without mercy, claiming her, fucking her.

I waited until she came for a third time before finally unleashing the beast.

Despite my feverish mind and frenzied thrusts, I still managed to pull out seconds before I came to spill my seed on her stomach. Until my ring was on her finger, I would not come inside of her again.

I collapsed to the side, rolling her with me until she was curled against me.

For several minutes, the only sound in the room was our harsh breathing. As our bodies cooled, I lifted her up and nestled her under the covers before joining her there, once more curling her into my side, where she belonged.

I stroked her hair and nuzzled kisses on the top of her head as her fingertip made slow circles on my chest.

She inhaled a soft breath, then whispered against my skin, "When I said no, it wasn't a forever no. It was a no for now."

I tilted her chin up and kissed her lips. "I was wrong to insist. We'll wait until the time is right. I'll ask again when we are both ready."

I held my breath and waited.

Aurora smiled and kissed me again before snuggling against my side. A few moments later, she fell into a restful sleep.

Little did she know that very soon, she would beg me to marry her… if only to stop the pain.