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Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

NOAH

When I turned thirteen, my mom gave me the talk. The one which involved girls, how my body would go through changes, and how sometimes I might want to act on my physical feelings by having sex with a girl. Given Mom’s teenage turmoil, she wasn’t leaving it up to some uninterested teacher to inform me about teen pregnancy.

Mom didn’t hold back, teaching me everything from how easily a girl could get pregnant to how readily you could catch a disease. At the time, I was embarrassed and confused by the whole spiel. It only began to click around the age of sixteen when girls suddenly became interested in me.

Out of all the bad things I could do, Mom warned me that getting a girl pregnant shouldn’t be one of them.

When I turned twenty-one and officially became a man of legal age able to go to clubs and drink, Mom gave me another talk. The one about how easily I could fall into the wrong crowd, how life can sometimes be overwhelming, and how, when that happens, we occasionally try our best to forget our worries by doing something stupid. Something illegal.

“Noah, I raised you well. Promise me, and I mean double promise me that I’ll never see your face in a mugshot.”

“C’mon.” I brushed it off. “I would never do that to you, Mom. I promise.”

Here I am at twenty-eight years old, staring into a camera and holding up a board with my name on it. My mom is going to have a coronary. Her only son, her flesh and blood, sitting in a jail cell arrested for indecent exposure. It wasn’t like we were doing anything harmful, but according to the cops, we had broken the law.

An elderly couple on their nightly walk saw us and were disturbed by our behavior, quickly calling the police and reporting us.

Sitting in this cold, bleak cell while police fill out paperwork only makes the whole scenario even more depressing. Kate doesn’t see the big deal, trying to flirt with one of the younger cops to help get us out of here. It fails, and she curses in her British slang—something about him being a wanker with a small John Thomas. I have no idea what that means, nor do I care to right now.

“My mom’s going to kill me,” I blurt out, resting my head in my hands to block out my surroundings.

“Your mom?” Kate laughs. “I didn’t peg you for a momma’s boy. Blimey, just when you were starting to earn cool points.”

“That term is so overrated.”

“Says the momma’s boy,” she points out. “I’m more worried about Charlie.”

I run my hands through my hair, frustrated at the whole situation. “You didn’t have to call her,” I say, annoyed.

“Who else is going to post bail? Your mom?”

“Wait. Is that a mom joke?”

Kate moves across the bench and sits beside me. Poking her finger in my arm, just to annoy me, she says, “C’mon, this is kinda fun, right?”

The alcohol is still swirling around that crazy brain of hers. She’s supposed to be sad, suffering from a broken heart. Kate, from what I’ve experienced, is nothing like I thought she’d be. That, or she’s good at disguising her emotions with strange British humor.

“I’m all for a good time, but this isn’t what I had in mind. Fuck! Do you realize how much trouble we’re in? I came to LA to get a fresh start,” I remind her. “Not get busted for nudity and sent to damn jail.”

She remains quiet, keeping to herself. Maybe I was a little harsh. Kate has bigger worries and still must be processing that whole not-being-pregnant thing. Maybe she’s not void of emotions after all. I definitely have enough emotions whirling inside of me for the both of us—anger, disappointment, and frustration—to name a few.

But even with my emotions running high, I can’t ignore the silence coming from the person next to me.

“You okay?” I ask, tilting my head to the side to check up on her.

Playing with the hemline of her skirt, she answers distractedly, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

I grab her hand, not to be romantic, but with genuine concern. “The whole pregnancy thing, Kate.”

“Oh, that,” she plays it off. “Totally forgot about it.”

Placing my arm over her shoulder, I pull her closer. I don’t know why I feel the urge to protect her. Maybe because she’s Charlie’s best friend. I’ve never had friendships with women. There’s always an agenda behind it. What makes this even more confusing is that I’ve only known her for less than twenty-four hours. Yet, something about her makes me feel like I’ve known her my whole life.

“You don’t have to be okay,” I tell her. “I don’t know your story, but if you need an ear, I’m right here. They won’t let us out for hours.”

She buries the side of her head into my shoulder, absently staring at the brick wall. “I haven’t told Charlie the whole story. So please, don’t say anything,” she begs softly.

“I promise I won’t.”

“Only Lex knows.”

“Lex?”

“He was the one who warned me about the whole situation.”

It makes sense. Charlie’s the type of person to get all up in your business. She’s passionate and fights for her friends and family. She’s always been that way. So, I’m not surprised at all that Kate had only told her half the story.

“The guy. He’s one of my best friend’s brother. We kind of met accidentally, and I was instantly attracted to him. Not sure why.”

“Wait, does your best friend know?”

She shakes her head. “Eric is too self-absorbed to really notice a change. That, and he recently broke up with his boyfriend. He’s been doing his own thing of late and keeping busy with work.” She continues on, “So this guy, Dominic, he warned me from day one that he didn’t do relationships, not even sexual ones. So, immediately, I jumped to the conclusion he was gay. It turned out, he owns a sex club and, well… I’ll just leave it at that.”

“You can’t just leave it at that,” I berate her. “What kind of sex club?”

“The kind that makes me uncomfortable. I understand couples exploring their sexuality and desires, but I thought… never mind.”

It makes sense, I guess. Again, this is unfamiliar territory for me. I’ve been with plenty of women, multiple at one time. I understand how people can love each other or want to commit themselves to one person, but I know that isn’t a life I want. It’s challenging to put myself in her shoes when I’ve never wanted nor would want a woman to look at only me because then I’d have to reciprocate the feeling.

“Can I tell you something, Noah?”

“Yes,” I say, kissing the top of her head to ease her pain.

“I’m embarrassed and ashamed of the things I allowed myself to do just to please him. For him to notice me…” She pauses briefly. “I told you he didn’t do sexual relationships, but he enjoyed watching me fuck other men. That’s how he got off. Having me in his sex club, sprawled out on some bed, fucking some guy I’d never met, let alone spoken a word to. Two guys, at one point.”

My brain stutters for a moment, the alcohol still invading my system and blurring my normally rational thoughts. I’m all for a good time. I’ve done plenty of dirty things, but never gotten off on watching a girl I somewhat liked fuck someone else. I want to rip this guy’s head off. This unwanted anger begins to swirl within me. Suddenly, the whole pregnancy comes to mind.

“Kate, who do you think you were pregnant by?”

Bowing her head, ashamed of her actions, she mumbles, “I don’t know. A stranger.”

I pull her in tighter, giving her the time she needs to let out her emotions while kissing her hair.

“I’ve always been proud of who I am, what I’ve achieved. But this…” she waves her hands around, “… I’m disgusted with myself. Charlie thinks I only slept with him, not other men. Lex knew of Dominic’s past. Warned me about what I’d be getting into. I didn’t listen. I thought I could change him because when he was alone with me toward the end, he gave me all the attention in the world.”

I state the fact, “You loved him. You wanted a relationship.”

“I wouldn’t use the word love. I’m harboring strong feelings. But don’t worry, I know you have a rep for screwing women looking for a rebound, so thanks for tonight.” She chuckles softly, breaking the serious conversation.

“Hey! How did you know that?”

“Charlie,” she says loosely. “Apparently, your mom knows your dirty secret, too.”

“My mom?” I let out a groan. “It’s not dirty. Well, sometimes it is. But for the most part, it’s just two people having sex.”

“Okay, so settle the rumor I heard. Cabo last year. Boys’ trip?”

“Boys’ trip turned into fucking a bored divorcée,” I admit with a smirk.

“After the plane ride over here?”

How in the world did she know?Charlie!

“Uh… the stewardess and the chick beside me?”

“Noah!” She laughs loudly, smacking my bicep.

“Erika initiated it to get back at her boyfriend. Ivana was just… a nympho.” When the words leave my mouth, I realize how bad it makes me sound. Those women I fucked. They all had their baggage and a story to tell. What if they were just like Kate with feelings and emotions, but carefully covering them up to prove a point to themselves that they could have sex with someone and push it all aside if only for that one time?

Argh, my head begins to pound as the alcohol wears off. Too much relationship talk.

“So basically, you prowl for women who’ve just broken up with someone?”

“I don’t prowl…” I cough. “I merely happen to be there at the right time.”

“Like some sort of sad pussy raider.” She falls into a fit of hysterics, clutching onto her stomach. “I’m surprised you’re not wearing a T-shirt underneath that dress shirt that reads ‘Mr. Rebound.’”

“Ha-ha,” I respond sarcastically. “It’s not as bad as it sounds. I’ve been pretty good in LA.”

What a big fat lie. The women here are gorgeous. Kate is no exception.

“Uh-huh, like this morning?”

“I live at Charlie’s, and it’s not my fault I overheard your dilemma.”

Her shoulders slump, relaxing her body as she continues to lean on me for support. “What’s wrong with us?” she asks. “We’re sitting in a jail cell, wet and covered in sand, laughing about how I almost got pregnant to a voyeuristic nympho, and how you’re a rebound hunter who’s a momma’s boy.”

It’s funny. I don’t know why. The two of us laugh continuously until we hear someone clear their throat. Charlie’s standing on the other side of the cell, along with the police officer. She’s dressed in her yoga pants and a T-shirt that reads, ‘This is my mom shirt,’ and fittingly, it’s covered in something orange. I look down and notice her hand is blue. How odd. With her arms folded, the creases in her forehead stare back at me, along with her eyes, which make her look ready to strangle my neck. She hands the police officer an envelope. He removes the keys from his waistband and opens the door, allowing us to leave.

“Hey, cuz,” I tread carefully. “Thanks for bailing me out.”

“Hey, bestie,” Kate repeats in a sweet tone, attempting to kiss Charlie’s ass. “Thanks for bailing me out, too.”

There’s growling, louder than the sound of wolves, coming from Charlie. Lex is standing in the foyer, trying to keep a straight face. I want to laugh, but both Kate and I know better than to anger the beast even further.

Charlie refuses to comment, turning around until we scurry behind her and follow them outside the building and into the parking lot.

The car ride home is quiet, soft tunes playing through the speakers as Lex speeds along the freeway.

I lean forward, resting my chin on Charlie’s seat to catch her attention. “So, you’re not going to talk to us?”

She remains quiet, purposely moving her head toward the window.

“You can’t avoid me forever,” I say nicely.

“I asked you to do one thing,” she says, livid, seething through her teeth.

“It’s not entirely his fault,” Kate jumps in. “It was my idea. You can blame me.”

“You don’t need to defend him, Kate. He’s a big boy,” Charlie argues back.

I turn to look at Kate, who’s shrugging her shoulders at me. Aside from my mom, who is a relatively laid-back woman, I’ve never had to answer to anybody.

As much as I love Charlie, I can tell we’re going to butt heads very soon, like in minutes.

“It’s just so…” Charlie bellows, “… irresponsible! I’m not even going to ask about the nudity part. You were both drunk, swimming in the ocean. God knows what could’ve happened to both of you! Haven’t you ever watched Baywatch? There are no lifeguards at night to save you. David Hasselhoff needs his sleep, you know.”

Baywatch?What the hell is she going on about?

“It’s not like you can talk,” I argue back. “When you were fifteen, you got busted doing the same thing with that boy you always hung around with.”

Her head snaps my way, eyes like daggers.

Shit.

Lex interrupts our conversation. “What boy?”

Kate mumbles under her breath, “Here we go. I can’t believe you mentioned another guy.”

“I don’t know. Some boy she always hung around with who everyone thought was her boyfriend,” I say out loud.

“I wasn’t naked,” Charlie disagrees, keeping her tone pleasant.

“According to the town gossip, you were.”

“The town gossip is your mother!” she responds, this time in a huff.

“Well, maybe so. But here you are, quick to scold us for our ‘irresponsible’ behavior, yet you did the same thing. And much younger, I might add. You weren’t even of legal age.”

Lex grips onto the steering wheel tight, turning his head to question Charlie, ignoring both Kate and me. “So, you skinny-dipped with what’s his face, yet in Cabo when I asked you, you got all prudish on me?”

“Oh my God,” she shouts in frustration, throwing her hands in the air like a child. “First, I didn’t skinny dip. I was wearing a bra and panties. Second, sitting in a Mexican jail isn’t on my bucket list. And Noah, you better believe I’m calling your mom.”

“What?” I yell back. “Mom doesn’t need to know. Leave her out of this.”

Kate shushes everyone in the car, attempting to create a Zen environment. “Look, let’s forget this night happened. We’re all grownups here. Let’s thank the Lord that nothing more happened… it could’ve been worse.”

“How?” Charlie shoots back. The steam is shooting out of her ears. “Tell me how it could be worse than getting a phone call that your cousin and best friend are arrested for public nudity? Do you know you’ll have to go to court? And I bet you expect me to represent both of you since I’m a lawyer.”

“I’m not pregnant,” Kate blurts out.

Charlie falls into silence. I thought Kate would throw me under the bus, but instead, she saves me and buries herself under Charlie’s overbearing ways. The car pulls into the driveway, and as soon as it stops, I quickly get out and follow Lex’s lead. Charlie’s not shy about lecturing Kate.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You fucked him bareback, and do you even know how many women he’s been with?”

I stand beside Lex as he removes his keys from his pocket. Unlike Charlie, he keeps his opinion to himself.

“Sounds like you guys had fun tonight.”

“Too bad Charlie doesn’t see it that way.”

“Don’t worry, I’lltake care of her,” he tells me, followed by a disturbing smirk.

“Oh man, that sounds dirty.” I cringe. “Any chance I can sleep in Amelia’s room? Her loud snoring is exactly what I could use tonight.”

“Trust me, Noah, your cousin is headstrong. Don’t be surprised if you find me on the couch because she’s on a men-and-their-stupid-dicks rant.”

“The Lakers played tonight. I’ll join you in watching the rerun.” I laugh, trying to forget this night has even happened.

And in the short distance ahead, I see Kate rolling her eyes at Charlie. The mouth on my cousin. She’s going on and on about how irresponsible Kate is, and what was she thinking taking me out tonight. No wonder Charlie’s a lawyer. Her ability to argue is why she’s so damn successful. Plus, a huge pain in the fucking ass.

We leave them out on the porch while Lex grabs us drinks and a bag of Doritos. The neighbor, who had kindly dropped by to watch the girls while Charlie and Lex left, leaves with a quick goodbye.

I tell him I’ll be back and head for the shower. I make it quick, not wanting to miss a second of the game yet desperate to wash away the sand and itchy feeling all over my body. I know at some point I’m going to have to tell my mom, I know I can’t hide this forever. But for now, I need to unwind. And a repeat of the Lakers game is just what I need.

Charlie enters the room and sees both of us sitting in the recliners. She seems to have aged tonight. Her face is withdrawn with dark circles starting to shadow her eyes. “I’m calling it a night,” she says, defeated.

“Yeah, you look tired,” I say, watching the screen as Lex yells something about the game above the television.

“Well, let’s see… I got puke on me when Amelia projectile vomited dinner. After getting her in the bath, I discovered that she took the blueberries out of the fridge and left them on the table where Ava decided they would be better squashed into the carpet.” She sighs, continuing on, “Then I get a call that my cousin and best friend are naked and having sex on the beach. To top it off, my bike, which you begged to borrow, is sitting in Malibu waiting to be collected.”

“I’ll collect your bike, but we weren’t having sex,” I answer in my defense.

“You know what?” She points at me. “I don’t care anymore. Do whatever the hell you want to do, Noah. Men and their dicks…”

And just like Lex said, the dick rant begins.

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