Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

B y the time the carols were done, Zo was out of tears and hollowed out. Constantine took a clean handkerchief from his pocket and wiped Zo's cheeks like he was a child. Zo let him. He didn't have any fight left in him.

"Come, amico . We need wine," Constantine said, rising to his feet. They paused briefly for Constantine to light candles for his long-dead children, and then they returned to the square.

Florian's was packed, and neither of them wanted the noise. They found a quieter cafe and a spot at the bar on the Campo Santo Stefano and ordered two large glasses of red wine.

"You know, I love this city. I'm glad we are all talking again so I can come back to it," Constantine commented, looking about the looming buildings of the square and the groups of people huddled together to talk and smoke.

"You were always welcome, either way. Alexis was gone more often than not," Zo replied. He had a large mouthful of wine and the hollowed out feeling inside of him heated. "Try not to start another fight, and you can come back whenever you want. When are you leaving anyway?"

Constantine tilted his head. "You trying to get rid of me already, Zo?"

"No, but I know you. You always leave eventually. Better to be prepared for it," Zo replied flippantly like he wasn't knifing himself in the guts for fun.

"I'm enjoying my time here, and I have no intention of leaving any time soon." Constantine drained his wine. "I'm not leaving you to spiral and sulk on your own, Zo, so stop trying to make me. You forget I know you as well."

Zo breathed heavily through his nose and tried to push down his annoyance. "You're the worst."

"Yes, I'm a complete monster. How dare I care about one of my dearest friends when they are going through a time of grief," Constantine said drolly.

"I'm fine." Zo drained his wine and refused to look at him.

Constantine reached out and lifted his chin. "Lie to yourself, but not to me."

"I'll get over it. I always do." Zo moved back. He couldn't handle what that soft touch on his face did to him. He was emotional enough. It made him want to throw himself off the nearest bridge. "We need to go. It's almost dinner time."

The Accademia bridge had fewer people on it on the way back, and when Zo stopped to stare at the water, Constantine didn't object.

"Why aren't you writing?" he asked because he was like a dog with a bone when he wanted to be.

"I feel blocked. The crying helped, but I'm just...empty," Zo admitted. Writing was always something they could find a middle ground on. Constantine was almost as prolific as he was, and they had always shared their struggles with it. "Maybe I need to go and spend some time screaming in the desert."

Constantine grinned. "Would that help? Because I still have a place in Siwa."

"Were you hunting the oracles like Alexander?" Zo scoffed.

"The oracles are still there if you know where to look. You should know that. Aelia was one for long enough. Why? Do you need an oracle?" Constantine replied. His expression clouded with worry. "Dear god, you aren't suicidal, are you?"

Zo shook his head. "No. I'm tired, but not at that point. Everything feels like a kind of death. Like we have finished a very long cycle that ended with Thevetat. I can't imagine what happens next. We are all off-kilter and grieving for Nereus."

"The grief will always be there, but change might be a good thing. We all could do with some new beginnings." Constantine's grin turned into a smirk. "And happy endings."

Zo failed to smother his laughter. "You made that dirty on purpose."

"Made you smile, didn't it?" Constantine said with a shrug. "I stand by my statement. We have all been stagnant for too long. Our Doctor Bryne has stirred us all up out of our lethargy. There's bound to be growing pains, my dear. We just need to get through it together."

"If I could get through this mental block that's keeping me from writing, I think everything else would fall into place," Zo sighed and stared out at the dark canal.

"Does that mean you haven't written me anything for Christmas?" Constantine asked, nudging him with his shoulder.

Zo had written lots of things for Constantine over the centuries that he had yet to give him. The feud with Alexis had prevented him from sharing the bulk of it, but he had still written it.

"I didn't say that. It just won't have been written in the past few months," he said. "Do you want prose or poetry?"

"Surprise me. I love all of your writing. You know that."

Zo's heart fluttered in a way that only compliments from Constantine could make it. Damn him. He was going to make Zo pick up the pen again just to get a dose of that feeling. He had never been susceptible to praise from anyone else, and that annoyed him.

"Have you been working on anything?" Zo asked as they began walking again. "Apart from all the time you are spending in the gym."

"You know it helps me think." Constantine looped his arm around Zo's once more. "Besides, if you stopped feeding me like I was a calf getting ready for slaughter, maybe I wouldn't have to spend so much time in the gym."

"Are you saying you don't like my cooking?" Zo asked. "Because I can stop feeding you."

"I like your everything, Zo. That's never been up for debate. And I would never want you to stop cooking, but I do worry about how much time you spend in that kitchen."

"I just got it the way I want it," Zo said stubbornly.

"Ah, huh. It looks like delicious procrastination to me. I need you to get writing again so I don't run to fat," Constantine replied.

"You have always been built like a tank. I doubt some extra biscotti is going to change that."

"It won't be an issue if you start writing again. It's your magic, Zo. You can't just turn it off and expect yourself to be fine."

Zo huffed. "Maybe now that Alexis is back, I can talk to him about the magic. It's still on a high tide, and gods know how long it will maintain now that Thevetat and his worshippers are gone."

"Well, if anyone has been overthinking it, it’s Alexis. Doesn't give you an excuse not to write me things," Constantine replied as they made their way back down the Calle dei Cercheiri.

"You aren't going to let this go, are you?" Zo sighed.

"No." Constantine's arm moved to his shoulders and gave him a hard squeeze. "And we know it's always better to give me what I want, amico ."

"I have been thinking of a story for a while, but I don't know if it's ready," Zo admitted.

"There you go. It's ready for a start, at least."

Zo didn't push the heavy arm from his shoulder, and Constantine didn't move it. They walked the rest of the way in companionable silence, Zo thinking of a good place to start his new work if he was to start it.

The blue door with its shimmering flower-of-life pattern appeared, and when Zo reached for the handle, a bundle of mistletoe bloomed above them.

"Someone is feeling the Christmas spirit," Zo said, trying the handle. It didn't open. "What the hell? Let us in!"

"I think it wants us to take advantage of the mistletoe," Constantine replied.

Before Zo could understand what was happening, big hands rested on his face, and lips pressed to his. His unmanly squeak of surprise was smothered by a drowning heat that stretched from his lips to his toes.

He was clearly in the mood for self-harm because Zo found himself leaning into the embrace. His overcrowded mind went blissfully blank, and all he could do was twist his fingers into Constantine's soft curls and let himself burn.

The door to the villa swung open of its own accord, and someone cleared their throat. Zo stumbled down the step inside, almost crashing into Alexis.

"Well," was all Alexis said, his brows high. "I was wondering when you two would be back."

"We were busy," Constantine replied, sailing inside and removing his coat like he didn't just break Zo's brain.

Alexis crossed his arms. "I can see that."

"Don't be a mother hen now that you are home, Alecto," Constantine chided.

Alexis's brows lowered into a frown. "Don't give me a reason to. Zo, get out of the way so the door can shut at least."

Zo was still standing frozen in place, his whole equilibrium still shattered. Constantine kissed me .

"But...you're straight!" he stammered, the beginnings of a panic attack starting to grip him.

"Since when?" Constantine put his hands on his hips. "I've never put my spirituality in a box, so why would you expect me to do the same to my sexuality? Really, Zo, I thought you, of all people, should know me better."

"But..."

"Consider it inspiration for that book you are going to start writing for me," Constantine replied with a devilish grin. "And don't just stand there gawping. You have dinner about to burn, and I'm starving."

Zo hurried past them, his face flaming so hot, he could have melted into the floor.

"You cause trouble in my house, and we will be seeing if the True Cross will bring you back a second time." Zo heard Alexis murmur.

"Keep your large nose out of my business," Constantine replied.

Zo walked faster, needing somewhere to die of embarrassment in peace. His hand itched for a pen so it wouldn't feel the ghost of thick curls between them.

He made it into the kitchen, shut the door behind him, and rested his head against it. He was embarrassed and angry and turned on and he didn't know what to do about any of it.

His brain was lighting up like fireworks, his magic thrumming in his fingertips to write, write, write. Whatever was blocking him was gone. The magic and the words were back.

Fucking Constantine . Zo was never going to hear the end of it.