Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

C aroline was surprised to hear the next morning that His Grace had left the house early and headed into London on ‘business.' Surprised, but not at all upset. If anything, she was glad for it.

The previous evening still sat with her, resulting in a sleepless night and a restless morning. She tossed, and she turned, unable to stop thinking about what had happened between her and His Grace. How it had happened. Why it had happened. And, most importantly, what she was going to do about it.

Oh, it was easy enough for her to say that it was a one-off occurrence, and she could not afford to let it happen again. It was the right thing to say—her circumstances demanded it!

Yet, as she lay in bed staring at the ceiling, she felt a little tingle between her thighs as memories of His Grace's tongue came flooding back. Worse, the way he left her, unsatisfied and wanting more, had it so that more than once she wondered if she should reach between her thighs herself and finish what His Grace had started…

She did not, strangely, because she felt that she should not. As if that might be to betray His Grace as he had a hold over her, a sort of power that she did not want to test or break. So, she was left frustrated.

When the morning came, feeling bedraggled and worn, she slunk from her room and made for Isabella's, needing to get the young girl ready so they might break their fast and start a day of lessons. She was still a governess after all, and despite what had happened, that would not change. Or she did not think it would.

"Isabella," she said softly as she knocked once on the door and stepped inside. "Are you—Isabella!" she cried in shock.

There was blood! So much blood. It covered Isabella's bed sheets as if an animal had been slain during the night. And Isabella, in the midst of tearing the sheets from the bed, froze at the sight of Caroline stepping into the room, a look on her face that spoke of guilt… and fear.

"Close the door!" the little girl cried. "Please!"

"What happened?" Caroline cried again.

"The door! Please! Before father sees!" Her chin trembled, her big eyes were wide set and brimming with tears. "I do not… I have no idea—I did not do anything!"

Caroline was quick to close the door, her heart racing with panic.

"I woke up and this… it happened in the night," Isabella was trying to explain, but the panic that had taken her made her explanation a rambling mess of incoherent, jumbled words. "I—I do not know from where it came! I promise! But there is so much blood! Please, Caroline! You must… I do not… Help!"

Not only were the sheets covered in blood, but Isabella was also. Wearing a white nightdress, the bottom was coated in red as were her hands and her legs. Her skin was pale, and she looked drained, as if she had been awake for days. Sheets still in hand, her entire body shook.

"It is all right, Isabella." Caroline went to her, ripping the sheets away and pulling the little girl into a hug. "I am sure everything will be fine."

"How!" she cried in fright. "The blood… Caroline… it is… I think—I do not know how, but… but it is coming from me. I'm bleeding! Oh, God!"

Truthfully, it took Caroline a little longer than it probably should have to figure it out. Were it not for the shock of the scene that she had walked into and the little girl's panic, she might have realized immediately what had happened. Thankfully, she did before any real harm was done.

"You are bleeding?" Caroline asked, pulling the girl back from her and holding her at arm's length. "You are certain?"

"I must be! But this blood… I do not know how—what is happening!"

In response, all Caroline could do was smile. She might have laughed, had it not been so inappropriate to do so. But between Isabella's panic and her understanding of the situation, she felt a strange swelling in her chest as if from pride.

"What!" Isabella asked. "What is it?!"

"Isabella…" Caroline continued to beam. "There is nothing to worry about. And certainly, there is no need to panic. Or cry, for that matter."

"How can you say such a thing!"

"Because me dear, sweet little girl, what has happened here happens to everyone. Every girl, even I, have gone through a similar experience as this." She looked about the room quickly, eyeing the mess. "Well… maybe not quite like this but close enough."

"I don't understand!"

With a deep sigh, Caroline quickly explained to Isabella that what had happened here was a sign that she was becoming a young lady. Trying her best to avoid too much messy detail, for she did not know what was appropriate or not to tell her, she was careful to let Isabella know that the bleeding she was experiencing was a natural and good thing. Wonderful, in fact. Even if it did happen every month.

"Every month!" Isabella exclaimed, eyes growing wider by the second. "But how—I cannot do this every month! Surely!"

Caroline chuckled. "We have ways of making sure that the next time…" She pushed her lips together, smiling at the little girl's ensuing delirium. "… that it won't be so messy."

"But father?—"

"Will understand," she assured her. "He knows of this, and likely, he is expecting it. As I said, this happens to all women and is nothing to be ashamed of."

Isabella did not look convinced. "He cannot know—you do not know what he is like. Please, Caroline, if he finds out… he is likely to get mad."

"I promise you that is not the case."

"He will!" she pleaded fearfully, truly believing it. "He hates it when I scrape my knees. I cannot imagine his reaction when…" She looked at the sheets again, and her chin began to tremble. "He will be furious."

"Isabella…" Caroline sighed, pulling the little girl back to her. "I promise you that?—"

"Please do not tell him," she then asked. "Please. Not yet. Not until… not until I have no choice but to do so."

Caroline grimaced. "I do not know if that is such a good idea. He has a right to know."

"He will just grow upset; I know he will. Please, Caroline." She fixed Caroline with a pleading look, eyes wide and brimming with tears. Impossible to say no to. "I will tell him, of course. But not yet. Not until… until… until I am ready."

It was a bad idea, Caroline knew. To keep a secret like this from His Grace… it could only lead to trouble. But alas, in the week or so that she had been Isabella's governess, Caroline had felt a kinship form with the sweet little girl, and she relished it for what it was. A friendship that she could not imagine, a bond she did not wish to break. If Isabella wished to keep this secret, then Caroline would do as asked.

"All right," she sighed, stroking Isabella's head. "If that is what you wish."

"Thank you!" she threw herself at Caroline. "Thank you!"

"But I must insist that we tell him before this time next month," she said rightly. "Otherwise, he will certainly find out for himself, and that is a conversation I am certain you do not want."

"I will," she assured Caroline. "I promise."

The little girl was still covered in blood, and now, hugging Caroline as tightly as she was, so was Caroline. Luckily, she had not bathed yet this morning and was still wearing her gown from bed, so at least an outfit had not been ruined.

"Now…" Caroline peeled herself free. "Let us get you cleaned up. And we best get these sheets washed too. In secret," she finished with a wink.

It was a bad idea. An idea that if discovered would likely lead to His Grace's wrath being unleashed upon both Isabella and Caroline. Strange then that just the thought of this elicited excitement in Caroline for reasons that were only too obvious. So much so that a small part of her almost hoped that he found out…

Consequences be damned and most likely, enjoyed.