Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

C aroline saw His Grace coming for her. When she did, she was certain at first that she was seeing things, for surely, he would not approach her of his own accord? Why, since the day that she had arrived, it had seemed as if he was doing everything that he could to avoid her.

Trying to actually naturally, she turned slightly, glanced his way, and saw that he was indeed making for her.

Her heart began to flutter, and she felt her body begin to run hot with nerves. A sudden impulse to turn away and walk off, pretending that she did not see him, hoping that he might change his mind and simply forget her. That was the smart thing to do.

Caroline took a deep breath and attempted this very action. One step taken… and she could not bring herself to take another. Despite what she thought that she wanted, she was unable to deny that desire she felt to speak with him again. To see finally who he was and confirm, hopefully, that the feelings which swirled inside of her whenever he was about were brought on by hate and loathing and not… well, the other thing.

The kiss they shared sat firm in the front of her mind. It made her salivate and her body tremble. What was more, she remembered their previous conversation, how nice he had been to her. She wanted to hate him. She needed to hate him. But what if…

A sip of wine from the glass she was holding, for she needed the courage that it gave her. Not to mention helping her to relax slightly.

"Ah, Miss Dowding," he said pleasantly as he reached where she stood waiting. "I thought that was you."

"Oh?" she said the same air of pleasantness. "And still you approached me. How very brave."

He chuckled, almost seeming to relax a little "It has been a while since I have been berated and insulted, so I thought it was well past due."

She forced herself not to chuckle. "Give it time, Your Grace, for I have no doubt it will happen soon enough. If not from me, surely someone else here is champing at the bit for it. You do make it so easy."

"It is a gift."

"Make sure you use said gift wisely," she responded coolly, another sip of wine, "or else I cannot be held responsible for what I might say."

"And here I had the impression that such worries did not concern you. Certainly, they have not so far."

"Yes, well, I suppose that I am trying to set a good example for your daughter. How would it look if she was to see me insulting you for…" Another sip of wine and her eyes flashed as she looked him over. "Oh, I don't know, walking about this party for the last thirty minutes as if you had a stick wedged up your backside."

His Grace stiffened at the jibe, and she braced herself for his retort. "I suspect that she would find it amusing, likely filing it away to use on me later."

She frowned at the coolness of his response, the way he managed to hold back his anger.

"The same goes if I was to ask that you slow down on the wine that you have been guzzling since I first saw you," he suggested with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk, indicating the glass in her hand. "At the rate you are drinking, we're bound to run out soon."

Again, she forced herself not to react in the positive. A glare instead, and she took another sip while holding him in it. "Perhaps you could use one yourself? Although that might put you at risk of enjoying yourself. We would hate for that to happen."

"Any more wine, Miss Dowding, and you might enjoy yourself a little too much," he shot back, still cool and collected. "All the single men about, I might have to warn them to be on their guard."

She widened her eyes at him, an effort to show a level of anger that she was not feeling in the way that she thought she might be. "At least we do not have to worry about giving you the same warning." Another sip, this one finishing the glass; she could feel it swirling through her body, warming it, dulling her senses in a way that was dangerous and very much needed. "All the wine in the world would not be enough."

His eyes flashed as if he was enjoying himself. "Is that a challenge?"

This time, she could not keep her smile down. "Fetch me another glass, and we shall see."

They were still fighting. Still bickering. Still that sense that the two loathed one another, and yet, it felt different to the last time. This was playful, Caroline thought, almost flirtatious. It was as if His Grace wanted her to tease him.

Eyeing him curiously now, she wondered at what he was playing here. Even more so when he fetched a drink from a nearby waiter, getting one for himself, and then handing it to her without comment or derision. He held his up in a cheers, she returned it, and the two drank deeply, looking over the lips of their glasses as if waiting for the other to blink.

"Ah…" He smacked his lips. "I can feel myself loosening already."

She snorted without meaning to. "It will take a lot more than that." He took another, larger mouthful, and she laughed. "Careful, Your Grace. We do not want people thinking that you are enjoying yourself. I believe such an event as that is one of the signs of the apocalypse."

"Ironic," he chuckled. "As I would much rather attend that particular function than this one. At least, it would not be so dull."

She frowned at the comment, for it was not something she might expect him to say. Caroline's impression of His Grace was that he was the perfect lord, a bastion of social decorum and etiquette, the very type of man who sought these types of events because to them it was the very best of times. In other words, a total bore.

"I would have thought you would be enjoying yourself," she said carefully… only to break into a smirk. "Well, as much as one such as you are able."

He rolled his eyes and took another sip of wine. "Hardly. I do not know if you bothered speaking to any of my grandmother's friends, but the words pretentious and insufferable are just some of the many I would use to describe them."

"Are we speaking of them or you?" she frowned jokingly.

He looked at her flatly. "You cannot help yourself, can you?"

"What can I say," she said with a shrug. "You make it so easy."

Caroline was glad that she had not walked away when the chance had presented itself. Dammit, she was glad that she was giving His Grace a second chance. She had wanted to dislike him. She had needed to hate him, for that felt like the only option when they first met. But this snippet of a conversation they were having right now, one where His Grace was behaving like a normal person for a darn change, was a revelation into the man who he was, not who he wanted people to see him as.

She took a coy sip of wine, eyes working over him quickly, only too happy to admit to herself this time that the attraction she had felt for him since the first time they had met was perfectly justified.

Even outside in the open like this, he was still undeniably large in size, his broad shoulders spreading far in both directions, his stature strong and intimidating and impressive. But it was his face that she focused on now, those dark blue eyes like deep pools, that strong jawline and his thick lips, his wavy black hair that he had combed down while still somehow managing to make it appear unmanageable and wild.

Feeling her heart begin to flutter, she looked away.

"Tell me," he began conversationally, seeming to relax in a way she had never seen him do before, "how are lessons progressing with my daughter?"

"Oh." She blinked. "Very well."

"Do not oversell it," he chuckled.

She scoffed. "Your daughter is a wonder. Truly. She is smart, capable, fun," she said with emphasis. "But she is also kind and caring and empathetic…" Her mind drifted slightly, a smile working up her face as she thought of the young girl. "She knows what is expected of her and does not begrudge it; if anything, she feels guilty more often than she should."

He frowned at that. "Guilty? What for?"

She grimaced. "I should not have said anything."

"Please…" He reached for her but hesitated. "It might seem that I am somewhat harsh with Isabella, but I only ever want what is best for her. For her entire life, that is all…" He cleared his throat. "She is everything to me."

"I know she is," Caroline said, knowing it to be true. She met His Grace's eyes and saw the need behind them and the worry. "She lives to please you is what I meant. And when she thinks that she has failed in doing so, it breaks her." He winced. "You say that your entire life is for her; well, I think she feels the same way about her life and you. She loves you," Caroline made sure to emphasize, "but love like that is never an easy thing to live with. Especially when it is not known whether or not it is returned."

His Grace could not have looked more upset by her words. Truly, she could see the pain behind his eyes, and she thought to hurriedly explain that Isabella was aware of his love for her and that he should not take this as some sort of slight. The fact that she felt the need to placate the Duke! A most shocking revelation.

"I will remember that," he said finally, smiling to himself. "And Miss Dowding…" He hesitated, seemingly nervous. "… thank you."

"For?"

"For one, being honest with me," he chuckled. "You might be surprised to learn that it is a rare thing."

"Not at all," she laughed. "I do not know if you are aware of this, but you are somewhat intimidating. It is just lucky that I am not so easily intimidated."

"I have noticed," he smirked. "When you first agreed to be my daughter's governess?—"

"Forced, you mean?" she winked.

He scoffed. "I sense that forcing you to do anything you did not really want to do would be an impossibility." He raised an eyebrow at her, and she could not stop herself from grinning. "The point I am trying to make is that I was against the idea. But now…" He shrugged as he took a final sip of wine, finishing the glass. "Well, I cannot help but think it might have been one of my better decisions."

"I think you have your daughter to thank for that," she pointed out, taking a final sip of her own wine, also draining it.

"I will make sure to thank her," he agreed.

A silence fell between them, but it was not at all awkward. Tense, perhaps, but for reasons that they both seemed to understand. His Grace stood over her, looking down to meet her eyes as a smile grew behind them. And she matched his stare, smiling the same as she came to accept that all she had felt for His Grace up until this point had nothing to do with hate or dislike. Not even a little bit.

And for a moment, they seemed happy to watch one another, as if both coming to the same realization at the exact same time. His eyes flicked down her body. She did not shy away. They were not alone in the garden, but for a moment there, it felt as if they were… more than that, it felt as if they both wished that they were.

"Say…" His Grace began slowly, as if worried he might overstep, "would you care for a dance?" He indicated across the garden to the dance floor positioned in front of the orchestra.

She frowned. "I did not take you for a dancer?"

He shrugged. "I am a duke, remember? I have little choice in the matter."

She hesitated, even if she wished to accept. Flirting was one thing, but a dance? In front of all these people? Speaking with His Grace like this had been dangerous. But dancing with him was positively irresponsible.

"My daughter is here, yes?" he asked suddenly.

She leaned back. "Yes, she is playing with some girls her age—appropriately," she made sure to add with a grin. "Funny that most girls Isabella's age do not like to climb trees as she does."

He chuckled. "My meaning is, as her governess, teaching her to dance is one of the many lessons that she is to partake in. No?"

Caroline tilted her head and pushed her lips together. "I believe you are right in that."

"So, it would behoove us both to show her how, do you not think? For the sake of her education…" He held out his hand for her to take.

Caroline eyed the hand, knowing that once she accepted it, she could not be held responsible for what happened next. A dance was one thing, but it spoke too so much more. And while her instincts told her to deny him as was smart… the wine she had drunk dulled her instincts just enough that she was able to ignore them.

"Well, if it is for her education…" She took his hand, a pulse running through her body at his touch. And as he led her across the party, as she felt the eyes watch them walk together, her heart fluttered, and her body flushed bright pink.

This was dangerous, she knew. But she also knew that she did not care.