Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

" O h, this one," Esther said as she pulled a roll of fabric from the wall. The color was dark green, almost emerald, with lighter green stitching woven through it in a floral pattern and golden hems. "This coloring will go with your hair. I have always said that you look good in green."

"And I told you, there is no need for me to have a new dress made. I have plenty already," Caroline sighed… even if she could not help but eye the fabric in a way that made it clear how much she agreed.

"Nonsense, dear," Esther dismissed. "If you remember, when you turned up on my doorstep, you had naught but the clothes on your back. And even those I would not dress a pig in."

"Why on earth would you put a dress on a pig?"

Esther shrugged. "For a laugh, I suppose."

"Please tell me, Esther, that this is not something that you have done before."

"Of course not!" Esther said, only to smile sheepishly. "Well, maybe just one time. I thought it might look cute!"

"And?"

"Decidedly not cute. And it was not the dress that you wore, either. That, I threw in the trash the moment I got it off you."

"Good to know," Caroline chuckled.

"The point is," Esther continued, still holding the green length of fabric out for her to see, "you do not have plenty of dresses. In my estimation, you have far too few. Less now that we lost half of them in the fire."

Caroline clicked her tongue. "Then I shall pay for?—"

"Nonsense!" she cried out. "And do not insult me by suggesting it." She widened her eyes in warning at Caroline.

"Fine," Caroline relented. She had been in this position many a time with Esther and knew better than to argue.

"Good girl."

"Although I still think it is a waste," she made sure to point out—a final effort to make her argument. "It is just a garden party. There is no need for me to put such effort into my dress. I doubt anyone will even notice me."

"Now there you could not be more wrong. If you know anything about me, dear, you know that I do not do things by half measures. Do not think of it as a garden party but the garden party. And you, being my dear friend and ex-companion, are an extension of myself and this party. If you were to turn up in rags, it would be to announce to the world that the day ahead was not one to look forward to or to be enjoyed but to be run from, screaming. And that, I simply will not abide."

Caroline rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Do you ever listen to yourself when you speak?"

"Of course not," Esther said with a manic grin. "There are far too many voices in my head for that. Now, where is that seamstress…" She looked about the store for the seamstress, eager to begin the details of this dress-to-be.

They were supposed to be shopping for Esther. That was why Caroline had agreed to come to London. It was not somewhere she wished to be, for she feared that someone from her old life might still recognize her. And indeed, she had kept her head down as they walked from the carriage into the store, covering her face as casually as possible, determined not to be noticed.

A foolish idea to travel into London like this, she knew, but Esther had asked for her help, and when it came to Esther, there was little Caroline would not do.

Of course, she should have known it was all a ruse, her elderly friend saying exactly what she needed to say to get Caroline to agree to come in the first place. And now that she was here, there was little to be done but agree with anything Esther requested and then hope to make it back to the Duke's home as quickly as possible.

As for the reason that Esther had wanted to go shopping in the first place? In three days' time she was hosting a garden party at His Grace's estate, and Esther needed to look her best! Or so she had said.

"Oh, I am so looking forward to this," Esther clucked as the seamstress busied herself pulling the fabric from the wall. "It has been an age since I have seen my friends. I would not be surprised if half of them thought I had died."

Caroline laughed. "You were here last Season, remember?"

"Yes, but at my age, a Season is a lifetime, dear. Ah, the folly of youth…" She sighed and reached out to touch Caroline's face as if admiring her beauty.

Caroline pushed her hand away. "Personally, I am surprised His Grace said yes to the party."

Esther raised an eyebrow at Caroline, a smirk on her lips.

Caroline, realizing how stupid it was of her to even mention His Grace, cleared her throat and looked away. Why did she bring him up like that? What had she hoped to achieve? She was endeavoring not to think of him… a seemingly impossible demand.

For a man whom she claimed to hate… she spent an awful lot of time wondering where he was, what he was doing, and if he might do such things to her—with her! No, that was no better. She did not want to be involved with him at all.

"He knows better than to say no to me," Esther said eventually.

"That sounds like a nice little trick," Caroline said with a coy smile, her heart fluttering a little too much, as the mere mention of His Grace seemed to have that effect. "Perhaps you could teach me."

Esther's eyes flashed. "Yes, I have noticed the two of you have a… certain manner of speaking to one another."

"I am sorry…" Caroline grimaced, face turning hot as if Esther might be able to see what was on her mind… what always came to her mind when she remembered the way she and His Grace spoke to one another. "I do try to be polite but…"

"But Frederick has a way with words," she chuckled. "No need to tell me, I have noticed—here." She took Caroline suddenly and led her toward the center of the room where a small stool was waiting for her to stand on. "He is not the easiest man to get along with."

Caroline obliged Esther by standing on the stool. And there, she stayed, waiting for the seamstress who was busying herself with pins and measuring tape and the fabric which now trailed behind her.

"Personally, I think you have done rather well," Esther continued.

Caroline frowned. "Really? I would have thought ‘well' was the exact opposite word to use. And I hate to fight with him like that in front of Isabella. It is not a good look."

"Oh, not at all," Esther said, waving her down. "The best way to deal with Frederick is through force. He does not respond to weakness. Like a bull charging at a red flag, it is best to meet him, rather than ducking away and hiding."

"I will remember that…" Not that she needed to, for that point had been thoroughly proven already. But that was also dangerous, she knew, because the last time they had argued in such a fashion…

A shake of the head, and Caroline forced herself to focus! She could not stop thinking of His Grace, his grabby hands, his lips and how they had tasted, and the way he had made her heart race. She did not wish to, for she hated the man. And yet…

"I do worry about him, however," Esther continued, thankfully not noticing the flush that was covering Caroline's cheeks. She was walking about the store now, hands folded behind her back, nose poking into various fabrics. "Truly, once you break through his tough exterior, he is as kind a boy as you are likely to meet. You have seen the way he looks at Isabella. There is love there. A real sense of care…" She sighed wistfully. "The hard part is sticking around for long enough to break through said exterior. Few have the patience."

Caroline did not respond to that, for her thoughts had drifted once again, going to the one place she had tried to keep them from these past two days, knowing by now there was little real point.

Ultimately, she was having a hard time working through her feelings for His Grace. Two days ago, it was easy to say that she hated him. He was mean and rude and cold and arrogant and all those other things. A hard man, one who seemed put on this earth to frustrate her, Caroline was quite convinced that she would never like the man. And she was glad for it!

Even her attraction to him, as much as it pained her, could be written off as a misunderstood emotion, fury pretending to be lust. When she was not bickering with him, she could convince herself she felt not so much as a smattering of desire toward him and was happy to leave it at that.

What happened between them the other day had changed all of that.

What started off as a typical enough argument had changed dramatically when His Grace had shown her actual empathy. Why, he had thanked her! Apologized! Told her she was doing a good job. What was more, he seemed to mean it!

It had caught her off guard in a way she had not expected, forcing her to reconsider how she felt about His Grace—what kind of man he was. And now, listening to the way Esther spoke of him… was it possible there was more to the man than malice and dispassion? Had she broken through his shell, even if she hadn't been trying to? And what did that mean, exactly?

"Is… is His Grace attending the garden party?" she asked casually, not wanting to sound as if she cared while unable to look at Esther because she knew the old woman would be able to see right through her like a freshly cleaned window.

Esther spun about. "He'd better be!" Then she clicked her tongue. "But if I know Frederick, he will need some convincing."

Caroline nodded along, feeling a spike in her heart at the thought of His Grace being there. A casual setting. Drinks flowing. A chance to see the man away from his daughter when he could be himself, when they might finally be able to pick up where they had left?—

"What? What are you looking at?" she demanded of Esther, who was watching her with a mischievous smile on her face.

"Oh, nothing," she shrugged.

"Esther…" Caroline warned her.

"I was just thinking…" A giggle. "… we should buy some jewelry to go with that dress. I know Frederick will appreciate it."

"And why would I care about such a thing?"

"No reason…" Another shrug, her eyes flashing. "Just a thought."

Caroline narrowed her eyes at Esther in warning, an action which had exactly zero effect on the woman who had begun to hum casually. And she kept those eyed narrowed as the seamstress, finally ready, got about prepping her for measurements, so they might start on this dress.

Caroline had not wanted a new dress. Even this garden party was not something that she had been particularly looking forward to. Now… she could not stop but wonder how it might look on her, and if His Grace would like it. And if he did like it, if he really liked it, that is, whether he might demonstrate this admiration in ways that she had pictured time and time again.

Such a nice dress, it promised to be. A shame then if it was to be torn from her body and discarded on the floor without thought or concern. Although, and Caroline could not help but grin at the thought, it would not be that much of a shame at all.

Honestly, what was happening to her?