24. Kieran

Chapter 24

Kieran

S tretching out my legs, I cross my ankles and let my head fall back against rough stone. Sven and Dylan are out of sight but nearby. They’ve been on high alert since I told them I gave the go-ahead for preclinical testing. If it were up to them, I’d never breathe fresh air again for my own safety.

“Hey, Gran. It’s been a while.”

Wind whistles through the bare branches of a nearby tree, each gust heavy with impending rain. I run my palm over the cold grass beside me where Talia once sat, sad and angry and vibrating like a hummingbird.

“Thank you for bringing her here that night. Don’t know how you did it, but I’m grateful.” I sigh heavily. “I’m scared, Gran. Not of her—she’s the only thing that makes sense right now—but of something happening to her, to Alistair and Gail or others because of me. Because I can’t let go of the project, of the possibility of saving…” I trail off, my eyes screwing closed.

I can’t save my mother.

It’s too late.

But my heart doesn’t understand the timing.

Leaves crunch under footsteps nearby. I open my eyes expecting Sven, but instead, it’s my father. He was always the biggest man in any room, but these days, he’s a tree permanently reshaped by storm, craggy-faced and whittled down.

“Thought I’d find you here.”

He waves a hand at me and I scoot over so he can sit. For a few minutes, we merely exist side by side, together but alone with our thoughts.

Then he stirs and says, “Your gran was a magical woman, but I don’t think even she’s capable of dispensing advice from beyond the grave.”

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

He scoffs. “What bothers me is that you think I’d be bothered. Now tell me about the woman.”

My head swivels. “What?”

“You dinna think I’d be able to tell my son was in love? Go on, then. Tell me about her so I can tell Sorcha in the morning. Since you won’t do it yourself.”

I grimace. “I know you think Alistair and I should visit more, but she doesn’t know who we are. You saw yesterday—I only agitate her. ”

“Because she can sense you’re upset.”

“She doesn’t know me!” I explode. Sucking in a breath, I rub my face roughly. “Sorry. Fuck. ”

“Kier.” His voice is as heavy and full as the clouds overhead. “I shouldn’t have said that. Forgive me. I didn’t… I didn’t always understand your pain. I was selfish, hanging onto the fact she still knew who I was. I thought… I had hope.”

Lifting my knees, I hook my arms over them and bow my head. “I tried to fix her. I tried so fucking hard, and I did what I set out to do. But I wasn’t fast enough.”

He stills, and guilt is a thousand spikes piercing my heart.

“You’re ready for the next phase?”

I nod despondently. “Preclinical testing, yes. If all goes well, we could be starting clinical testing and trials within a few years.”

“But she can’t be in them,” he guesses.

“No,” I whisper. “Her disease has already progressed too far.”

“Kier. Son. Look at me.”

I lift my head slowly. His blue eyes are bright with the grief he can’t hide, but he’s smiling. He grabs my face in big, warm hands and pulls my forehead to his.

“You did it, kid. You did it.”

My eyes burn. “But at what cost? We’ve lost Mam. Liz. Some fucker tried to kill me twice and threatened Alistair and Gail. And God help me, if something happens to Talia, I’m afraid of what I’d do. Who I’d become. ”

He draws back enough to show me a raised gray eyebrow. “Talia, eh?”

I smirk tiredly. “Yeah.”

“Tell me about her.”

“She came out of nowhere.” Twice. “Long legs and lion eyes. She’s a psychologist. Her IQ is higher than mine. I’m a goner.”

He chuckles. “She doesn’t let you get away with shit, does she?”

My smile widens. “Nope.”

He sobers. “And she isn’t a checkmark on a five-year plan?”

I flinch. “Jesus, Dad.”

He cups the back of my neck, squeezing gently. “I’m too old for tact. I know you loved Liz. She was a sweet girl. But Sorcha always thought you needed someone as hardheaded as you and twice as clever. As you know, she was rarely wrong.”

Grief punches me; tears blur my sight. “I’m sorry I wasn’t fast enough to save her.”

His stern mouth pinches, his jaw working to hold back a tide of tears. “I know,” he says gruffly. “But do you remember what she said that day? After she was diagnosed and you flew over here full of fire to tell her you were gonna find the cure?”

I remember, but I can’t fucking speak or I’m going to scream.

“She told you all she wanted was for you to be happy. That’s all either of us has ever wanted. Not a cure, not cars or houses or trips to fuckin’ Tahiti. So for the first time in your life, stop trying so goddamn hard. You deserve to live, Kier. Let it go. Just let it go. You’ve got nothing left to prove.”

The words shatter me, which shatters him. We sob and cling to each other’s faces like drunks. We don’t notice the rain falling in thick, freezing sheets, or the wind that screams through headstones—only the space between us where a life of love is ending and another finally begins.

The second the plane reaches cruising altitude, Sven marches up the aisle to loom over me.

“Are you ready to talk?”

I crack an eye open. “Bully.”

Dylan snorts somewhere behind us.

“Avoidance isn’t going to make this go away,” Sven snaps, lowering into the seat facing mine.

I sigh and sit up straighter. “No, you’re right.”

I’ve been putting off this conversation for nearly two weeks, purposely staying focused on the lab, my parents, and—for the last five days—exchanging texts with Talia. I’ve kept them completely innocent, mainly to fuck with her head. But the payoff is she’s been opening up to me. Giving me access to her day-to-day life. I know about the publishing house she’s in talks with and the fact her client list has shrunk to the point she’s reduced her hours to three days a week. I know her hopes, her worries, her fears. Her guts . And every day, she grows more beautiful to me.

Now that we’re headed home two days earlier than planned, all I want to think about is surprising her. Kissing her. Holding her. Shoving my nose in her hair and breathing her in.

Never letting her go.

“There’s good news and bad news. Which do you want first?”

With effort, I set aside thoughts of Talia. “Doesn’t matter.”

“The threats being sent to Lumitech have dropped off over the last month.”

“Starting with good news, then?”

He grunts. “Gabe also confirmed that Talia had video surveillance installed at her home and hired a security company. Same one that did the work at the warehouse; solid reputation. Patrols pass the house every three hours.”

“Yeah, she mentioned that a few days ago.”

Sven’s mouth curves the tiniest bit.

I roll my eyes. “Moving on.”

“Tom has a list of suspects he wants you to look at. Do you recognize any of these men?”

He hands me his phone. I scroll down the series of photographs, then shake my head. “No. Wait—” I scroll back up and show Sven the photo that gave me pause. “Doesn’t this guy work at Lumitech? ”

He nods. “He’s in IT. Jared Green. Fits the profile of someone who’d have access to your private number and the skills to make the call. He also called out sick the day after.”

I study the man’s face. “I’m not seeing it. What’s his backstory?”

“Divorced single father working full-time and going to law school at night. He’s under watch but at the bottom of the list. There are some serious contenders there, though. Moralist radicals with national followings, fringe religious purists.”

I hand him the phone. “Have we switched to bad news, then?”

“Good, bad, whatever. I only said that to get you talking.”

I smirk. “Bastard.”

“You must be rubbing off on me,” he quips. “There’s something else, too. Tom found a link between the two hit men.”

Every muscle in my body tenses. “What? Or who?”

“It’s a money trail. The families of both men have been making cash deposits every month. Same amounts each time. Not enough to raise suspicions, but the totals are adding up to a substantial payout.”

“Hush money.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, waiting for relief that doesn’t come. “We need more than that. We need to know who’s paying them.”

“The grandmother and sister are being tailed to see if we can catch the next handoff. ”

“Good.”

Sven rubs his jaw, eyes avoiding mine.

I sigh. “Spit it out.”

“I was asked to run another group of suspects by you.”

“Who?”

“Executive leadership at Lumitech across all departments.”

I blink, then laugh shortly. “Not this again.”

His expression hardens. “Tom wouldn’t be worth his price if he didn’t consider every angle. And before you ask, no, I didn’t bring it up. Whether you want to face it or not, the list of people who have your private number isn’t long. The list of who has access to your daily movements is even shorter. And then there’s the list of who has the money and connections to hire hit men.”

I frown out the window, tension riding my body as I think about the scars Sven carries because of me. A jagged line on his side. A starburst on his shoulder. Neither wound stopped him from disarming and cuffing the attackers or snapping at me to stop trying to help him and “Fucking call nine-one-one, Kier!”

The crack of a gunshot in my memory still wakes me up sometimes. The horror of Sven’s body jolting against mine. The way time vacillated between hyper-speed and slow motion.

We weren’t supposed to be leaving the office for another hour that day, but my last meeting had been canceled. I shouldn’t have even been in the parking garage. He normally pulled the car around to a secure exit at the back of our building, but I’d gone with him because I was an impatient ass and hadn’t wanted to wait.

Faces cycle through my mind, a carousel of people I’ve trusted for a decade. Who know my cell number, who knew my meeting was cancelled. The same people who knew where Liz and I lived and that I went running every morning, which was when the guy came at us with the knife.

Sven’s right. He’s always been right. That the person behind everything is a stranger simply isn’t logical.

What’s my continued denial worth? Is it worth Sven’s life? Dylan’s or Gabe’s or mine? My brother’s?

Is it worth Talia’s?

I pull a breath into my tight lungs and turn back to Sven. “Tell Tom to focus on Lumitech. And hire more people. As many as necessary for twenty-four seven security on Alistair, Gail, and Talia. I don’t care if they don’t like it.”

He stares at me, his surprise contained to a slight squint. “Done. I want two more on your personal detail as well.”

I nod, having expected the request. All the money and power in the world can’t keep word of the impending testing phases under wraps forever. For better or worse, the target on my head is about to get bigger.

Moreover, Sven knows my stint as a hermit is finished. I have a company to run. A disease to cure with a technology that will forever alter landscape of modern medicine. And I have a woman to love.

I don’t want fear to control me anymore, but thanks to Talia’s work in my head, I’m aware of my limitations like never before.

I need help.

I’m finally ready to ask for it.

Grabbing my phone, I pull up the browser and type in: Dr. Leo Chastain, Los Angeles.