Chapter 12

Monday, May29

School feels bigger and darker today, like the building grew over the weekend. It’s blistering hot and humid, but the sun is hidden behind thick gray clouds. I wish it would rain, wash away the layer of sweat that already sits on my skin.

Wash away the horror of the last four nights too.

I managed to have a quiet weekend, avoiding almost everyone. It was a necessity. I felt like my guilt was etched into my forehead and anyone would be able to see. Atlas came over for a bit, but he mostly wanted to be alone too.

As soon as I pull into the lot, I’m greeted by Luce, who runs to my car and opens my door. “I’m so happy to see you, Marley,” she says, pulling on my wrist so I get out faster. Her dark hair is tied in an intentionally messy bun, and her face is glowing.

“Yeah,” I reply, unable to meet her eye. Why doesn’t she look a mess like me? I spent more time on my appearance than usual, but I still think I look like I haven’t slept in a month.

“Are you okay?” she asks, and I finally hear the apprehension in her voice.

“Are you?”

She dips her chin and kicks a stray rock on the ground. “Obviously not. I can tell what you’re thinking, and I’m not fine. People are around and we can’t let anyone know something’s up, can we?”

I’m not sure if that’s rhetorical. I wish she was genuinely asking because I really need to know that she’s struggling with this decision too.

Arthur was dead when we found him, and it took us, like, five minutes to turn into criminals. I don’t think there was any chance that he could’ve been revived even if we knew what we were doing…but we still should’ve called for help and tried.

Now we’re just killers.

That’s what we’ll be before anything else for the rest of our lives.

Cold. Calculated. Killers.

I look over my shoulder in case anyone’s coming near us. “We could let someone know what’s up, but the decision to lie has already been made.”

She steps closer, head whipping in both directions. For someone who doesn’t want anything to look out of the ordinary, she’s doing a shockingly good job of looking suspicious.

“I hate this too, Marley,” she whispers, her voice wobbly like she’s about to cry.

I raise my head and finally look at her properly. There are tears in her eyes that she rapidly blinks away. I’ve never felt so relieved to see raw guilt on my best friend’s face before.

“Luce, how are we going to pretend that this never happened? Arthur’s body will be found. There will be an investigation.”

“Shhh. We made a mistake. I hate that he was hurt, but we’ll lose everything if this gets out.”

“He wasn’t hurt, Luce. We killed him.”

She stumbles back like my words are a physical blow. “He didn’t mean to do it.”

Her defense of Jesse doesn’t surprise me, and she’s not wrong. But Arthur is still dead because of him. And he’s buried in the forest because of us.

I raise my palms to pacify her. We can’t turn this into a fight. I thought returning to school would make things worse, but I see more clearly now. If we’re going to figure out what to do long-term, we have to stay calm.

“I was there, Luce. I know it was an accident.”

“Good. It’s going to be okay. We stick together. Look, I need to meet Jesse, so I’ll see you later.”

Before I can reply, she spins and jogs off toward the main entrance.

That was kind of weird.

“Why didn’t you reply to my message?” a familiar voice calls out from behind me.

Are you kidding me?

I turn to face Rhett as he approaches. This asshole makes me want to throw up, but I’m not letting him get to me.

“Why would I?”

“You have a dare.”

“I’ve done two already. We’re the only ones who’ve done two, and you want me to do a third. Why?”

The anger, the pure, unfiltered anger that I have for him seeps from my every pore. If it wasn’t for him and his stupid dares, we wouldn’t have been on the road that night. Arthur would be alive.

He’s not to blame!

“You think you’re so goddam important, Rhett, but you’re a small-town boy who I’m not even going to remember next month. No one cares about you or your pathetic games, so grow the hell up and leave me alone.”

His pale eyebrows shoot to the top of his head. I might be the first person who’s ever said that to him.

I ball my hands into fists and push them into the apprehension in my gut as if I could squish every last part of it into nothing. I wish it made me feel better. Even just a fraction.

“Wow, Marley. I’m impressed.”

“I don’t care what you are.” I go to pass him, but his arm shoots out, blocking my way. “Move!”

“No, I don’t think I will. You’ve been given a dare.”

“What about your dares, huh? Or are you too scared to join in yourself? Worried what Mommy and Daddy might say?”

“You think you’re baiting me but you’re not.”

That’s a total lie. I can tell by the way his dead eyes fire lasers into me.

“Are you sure?”

“All right…we’ll camp in the forest together.”

I don’t mean to laugh, because there’s very little humor in my life after Arthur, but I do. I laugh in his face and don’t even try to hide it. “I’d rather get eaten by bears.”

“You might if you go alone.”

“Is that what you’re hoping?”

He smirks, and I have no idea what he’s thinking. My guess would be “totally.”

“I’m done here,” I say, shoving his arm aside and walking past him. How can I be frightened of whatever he has planned when I’ve already committed the worst crime?

I walk into school, and I’m immediately hit with a rotten fish smell that stings my nose and makes me gag.

What the hell kind of prank is this? Pressing my palm to my nose and mouth, I rush through the corridor, watching people look for the source of the smell. It’s so bad that I almost vomit. Fuller and two teachers are pacing the corridor, looking up as if they’ll magically find the source of the smell on the ceiling.

I make my way to the gym, ignoring the stupid pranks. They’re no longer fun.

I have a full morning of sports to get through on the field, but first I need to change. Whoever thought it would be a “treat” to force us into multiple sporting activities for two hours needs firing. At least I’m in the first half of seniors. The other half gets the torture after lunch.

I can think of about a million other things I’d rather do, but I have to appear normal.

Out on the field, I see Jesse.

He’s chatting with a couple of guys from the team. He laughs, throwing his head back. Nothing about his demeanor shows that he’s struggling. I didn’t think his acting was that good—I had drama with him for two years.

He notices me approach, slaps Jake on the back, and jogs towardme.

“Hi,” I say.

But I can tell I’m not going to be met with the same greeting by the scowl on his face.

“You can’t have another day off, Marley! Think about how that looks. And where the hell were you this weekend? You could’ve at least shown your face in town.”

Did Atlas?

“I’m fine now, thanks. How are you?”

His head tilts and he grits his teeth. “I’m not playing here. You’re not screwing this up.”

“What the hell, Jesse? I haven’t done anything wrong.”

Atlas wasn’t lying when he said he was different. It’s day four and I barely recognize him. What’s he’s doing?

Stop, he’s just panicking.

He steps closer. “I’m sorry if I’m not behaving in the way you want me to, but there’s a lot riding on this.”

“I understand that!”

We both pause as a couple of people walk past us.

As soon as they pass, I say, “How is it going to look if you suddenly stop talking to me?”

“Who said I’m not talking to you? And you’re the one who wentMIA.”

“I just needed time. I was off on Friday, so it doesn’t look weird that I wasn’t in town over the weekend. It looks like I’m getting over a bug. If you keep arguing with me, it’ll look weird.”

“I didn’t come over to argue. I just wanted to know what you’re thinking.” He looks over my shoulder, checking that we’re alone, paranoia hitting hard.

“I just needed a few days. My mom heard me throwing up and wouldn’t let me come to school.”

“Don’t let it happen again.”

“You can’t control when you puke, Jesse! Stop acting like we’re freaking enemies. I have enough of that with Rhett.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I can’t deal with your drama right now, just keep it together. The rest of us aren’t going down because you can’t hold your own.”

I open my mouth to tell him he’s way off, I’m not the weak link here, I don’t want to break my parents’ hearts or throw away my future, but he walks past me.

His teammates frown as he walks back over to them. I don’t know if he thought about how icing me out would look. After Rhett it shouldn’t hurt, but it does.

He might not be trying to ditch me, but how he’s acting triggers something in me, and I hate the thought of someone else I care about walking away like I mean nothing.

After a few games of dodgeball, we go to lunch. Fuller walks through the cafeteria with a face like thunder. He shakes his head, muttering something about shrimp and locks on the refrigerators.

“The smell was shrimp?” I ask Luce. She’s sitting opposite me, leaning against Jesse.

Atlas takes a seat next to me and kisses my cheek. “Yep. Shrimp in the air vents. You’ve been outside all morning, but there were people here searching for it.”

Luce laughs. “You should’ve seen how mad Fuller was. He’s seriously over senior pranks.”

“I wonder how much money these pranks cost the school,” Jesse mutters around a mouthful of hamburger. There’s nothing wrong with his appetite.

“Ew, don’t talk,” chides Luce.

I turn to Atlas while they bicker and whisper, “Is Jesse acting weird with you?”

“No, he’s been fine. Why?”

Great, so it is just me. “We had a bit of an argument. He walked off and didn’t speak to me for the rest of the morning, took off as soon as the games were over.”

He rolls his eyes. “He’s just as stressed as the rest of us, Marley. I mean, he was driving, right?”

I glance up, but Jesse and Luce are still oblivious that other people exist. “I can give him some space.”

It’s understandable that he’s struggling, but I’m annoyed that he’s instantly written me off as the one who’s going to crack.

“What’re you talking about?” Jesse asks, his attention now on us.

I sit up straight. “Nothing. Everything’s cool.”

His brows rise. “Are you sure?”

“Why are you only asking me?”

Atlas puts his hand on my back as if he believes I’m the one causing this friction.

“You weren’t here Friday. I already checked in with Luce and Atlas.”

Okay, fine…but we have had a similar conversation already. I feel like he’s checking up on me.

“Sorry, I’m just…devastated.”

“Yeah, I get it,” he replies. “Marley, we all are, and it’s only a matter of time before George reports him missing.”

I drop my fork back on the plate, no longer hungry. George must be going out of his mind worrying. We’re already on the fourth day. Arthur does go off on trips sometimes, but it’s not common for him to be gone that long.

“Did you destroy the clothes and gloves?” I whisper.

He nods, pushing fries around on his plate. Looks like his appetite is gone too. “It’s taken care of. The shovels are at Luce’s, stored in her uncle’s shed with the rest of his gardening equipment.”

Luce’s uncle lives with Luce and her parents and owns a garden maintenance company that my dad uses. I’ve seen the shed. It’s absolutely massive and full of everything you could possibly need for gardening.

“There are so many shovels and rakes, I don’t think he’d notice two more,” Luce adds.

“Is that a good idea, though?”

“We’ll think of something to do with them,” Jesse says. “They’ve been cleaned for now. I can’t burn them because of the metal parts. I might be able to take them to the landfill.”

“You should definitely do that,” Atlas says.

Jesse glances over at me, and the way he looks is as if he’s scrutinizing everything I say and do. I wonder what he’s thinking aboutme.

When he doesn’t look away, I ask, “We okay, Jesse?”

He stares into my eyes in a way that makes me feel…odd.

Atlas waves a hand in his direction. “She hasn’t done anything wrong, dude.”

He finally nods. “Yeah, we’re good.”

For the first time, I don’t believe him. He’s done nothing but shut me out and lie to me today. His gaze follows me a little too hard.

“Fuller’s going out of his mind,” Jesse says, laughing and changing the subject. “Not impressed with today’s pranks.”

Luce playfully whacks him. “I don’t know what Fuller is so worked up about, it took them twenty minutes tops to clean thingsup.”

“Are we really talking about pranks?” I ask, my eyes flitting between my two friends.

Jesse scowls. “Don’t start.”

“Drop it,” Atlas says, and for a second, I think he’s talking to Jesse.

But he’s looking at me, and his stare is a warning. What the hell?

I turn away, my insides burning. We have to act normal, sure, but we don’t need to discuss dares or pranks.