Chapter 10

“The road,” I say, glancing around and keeping my back to Atlas, Jesse, and Arthur. Luce stands near me, watching as they move him.

“What, Marley?” Atlas asks. I can hear the impatience in his voice.

“There are tire marks in the mud. You can see where the car veered.” But, thankfully, I can’t see any blood from where Arthur hit the ground. He must’ve rolled onto the shoulder straightaway.

“There always are on this stretch,” he replies, his tone now strained. It’s not because he’s annoyed with me; it’s because he’s carrying Arthur.

“They don’t usually skid. We need to do something about them.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Jesse replies. “Good thinking. Use your foot to smooth it out. It’s supposed to rain soon anyway, but we can’t be too careful.”

“I’ll help,” Luce says, nodding as if she’s talking to herself. Her wide eyes proof that she’s still in shock.

It was supposed to be an animal.

We walk in the middle of the road, and I use my foot to kick mud over the tire marks, the evidence of our accident getting swept away in the dirt.

Luce moves behind me, going over the area where I’ve been. “Doesn’t look like a car was here now,” she mutters. “We’re going to be okay.”

We’re not, and the fact that I’m covering up, actively helping, makes me feel more awful. I’m just as much a part of this as Jesse, Luce, and Atlas now. Doesn’t matter if I agree we’re doing the right thing or not.

We’re all in this nightmare together.

Atlas’s and Jesse’s footsteps shuffle behind me as they struggle with the weight of Arthur.

Luce grabs my hand, looking at me with horror and desperation in her eyes.

“I know,” I say. “I can’t believe this is happening either.”

We should’ve just called straightaway. The cops wouldn’t have been able to prove that Jesse hadn’t turned his lights back on. Maybe it could’ve been okay.

“We’ll get through this?” she asks. “Won’t we?”

I shrug. “It’s a lot to get through. I have no idea how we do it, but I don’t see how we have a choice. It’s done now, isn’t it?”

My question is only half rhetorical because it doesn’t have to be done. We could still stop this and do the right thing.

She nods, shining her flashlight at the road. “There’s no going back, Marley. This is how it has to be.”

I turn from her again but only because she’s right. What I wish we could do doesn’t matter. The boys are never going to agree to go to the cops. We can’t go back now.

Something catches my eye in the distance. Oh shit! There are headlights coming toward us. They’re tiny now and disappear around the bend, but it won’t be long before they’re back, and then whoever is driving will be able to see us.

“Car!” I call, spinning around as my heart drops.

“Get the bed open!” Jesse shouts, his eyes darting up and down the road.

Luce sprints toward them, and I follow, the four of us dashing to the car to hide Arthur’s body. We have maybe two minutes to get Arthur into the truck and get out of here.

“Luce, start the engine!” Jesse orders as we reach his truck. “Marley, the bed, now!”

I run around the back of the truck and tug, my fingers pressing the button at the same time. The door lowers so slowly it’s like it’s working against us, wanting us to get caught.

“Come on,” I say, gasping hot air that lies thick in my lungs.

“Get in,” Atlas tells me as he and Jesse gently place Arthur in the back.

I listen to his command, spinning to run around the side of the vehicle. All I can think about is that car approaching. My mind conjuring images of the driver seeing what we’re doing. The police coming. My parents turning up at the station. The questioning. Charges. Prison.

Luce climbs into the back through the middle and brings her feet up on the seat, wrapping her arms around her legs. She looks just as shattered as I feel. We have a dead body in the bed. We’re traveling with him.

What thehell are we doing?

I chew on my lip almost hard enough to draw blood and mutter, “Hurry. Please hurry.”

“Keep the lights off,” Atlas says as he and Jesse pile in the car.

Just hurry.

Jesse nods, accelerating into the dark. I can’t see his features properly from back here, but…does he look excited?

I turn my head and slump heavily against the door as we speed along the road, trying to keep up with the events…and what we have to do next.

“I can’t see anyone yet,” Atlas says, peering over his shoulder out the back. He gives me a smile, a feeble attempt to make me feel better. I appreciate the effort, but nothing is going to work. “You definitely saw someone, Marley?”

“Yes,” I murmur. “I saw headlights.”

“They might take another direction at the fork.”

“Do you want to risk that?”

He sighs. “I’m not looking for an argument, just asking.”

“You did the right thing, Marley,” Jesse says. “You did good.” He’s being oddly nice. Not that he’s usually horrible, but it sounds fake nice, as if he feels the need to be on my side and keep me sweet.

He knows I don’t want to do this. He was the one driving. Ultimately, it would be him with the harsher sentence. He has the most to lose.

“I’m not saying she didn’t do the right thing,” Atlas counters.

“Please don’t argue,” Luce says. “I can’t take it on top of everything else. You said we need to stick together, and that has to start right now if we’re going to have a chance of getting throughthis.”

“No one’s arguing,” Jesse says, taking a turn and switching the lights back on.

I breathe easier—a fraction easier—knowing that he can see properly. He pulls off the road onto a hiking trail. From here you can hike the mountain and get down the other side to the creek.

He cuts the lights again and kills the engine.

“What’re we doing?” I ask.

“I don’t want to risk that car coming up behind us. We’ll wait for it to pass,” he replies, turning in his seat to look out the back window.

I do the same, and we watch. Arthur is barely a few feet away from where I’m sitting. “What’re you going to do about your car?” I ask. “There will be traces of him.”

“My dad said he’d get a detail done once the dent was fixed and bull bars were on. So I’m going to do just that.”

He’s going to let someone else clean up the evidence of a murder.

The thought turns my stomach more than the prospect of us doing it.

“Is that a good idea?” Atlas asks.

“It’s already booked, along with his car. It won’t look suspicious, don’t sweat it.”

He’s entirely too calm in this situation. I understand that he’s scared, but how quickly he was able to plan a murder cover-up is a major freaking red flag.

“I see lights,” I say.

Seconds later, a car speeds past. Jesse gasps.

My heart stops.

A goddam state trooper.

“You’re a legend, babe,” Atlas says. “If you hadn’t seen them…”

Fear trickles down my spine, leaving me breathless. That was a close call, one I don’t ever want to encounter again. I know, in this moment, that I’ll go along with everything my friends have decided. I hate myself for it.

“If the cops are out this late, are we safe to…well, you know?” Luce asks, pressing her hand to her stomach.

Dump the body.Those are the words she’s struggling to say, the ones making her sick.

No one speaks as Jesse runs into his house to retrieve the shovels. His dad is away for work until next week, so it takes him just seconds to grab the shovels from his absent mom’s old shed. Each of us stuck inside this nightmare. Right now, we’re all too scared, four souls changed forever, bound by the worst secret you could ever have to keep. We sit perfectly still like statues, and the only sound is the quiet breaths as we all try to come to terms with what we’ve done…and what we’re about to do.

If I could, I would stay here forever.

Eventually, though, Jesse comes back and takes the off-road trail to the edge of the forest.

“All right. We’ll pass the trail and walk for about twenty minutes into the forest,” Jesse says, getting back into the truck. He stands the shovels in the foot well, the wooden handles sticking up and almost touching the roof of the truck.

“Will that be far enough?” Atlas asks.

“Off trail, yeah,” I reply, knowing the forest better than any of them. “No one will be going out there. I know where he means. Dense forest, nothing to navigate with. People don’t risk it.”

Jesse pulls into a turnout and parks, the car creeping into the woods.

We’re betting a lot on people sticking to the trail.

“All right.” Atlas gestures for me to get out of the car.

I do so because it’s claustrophobic as hell in there, despite the size of it.

“Should we tell Rhett the dare is done?” I ask. “I mean, he’d want to know.”

Jesse nods, walking around the truck. “Yeah, Luce should message him. He’ll want to keep Marley talking if she does it. Be snarky but make it clear that you’re now home.”

“Okay,” she says, tapping away on her phone. I watch over her shoulder as she types.

your dumbass dare is done now leave us alone

where are u?

I take a breath as she replies with a lie.

home

why?

“What do I say?” she asks.

I take the phone and do it for her.

we’ve done the dare

and the creek was boring

I don’t expect a reply to that one because we’re basically saying he’s boring.

Luce sniffs, pocketing her phone, and turns away, detaching from the moment.

“It’s done,” I say, walking to the back of the truck, where they’re shuffling Arthur’s body down.

It’s slightly easier to pretend there’s not a person in there when I can’t see him.

“Okay,” Jesse says, holding what I think are Arthur’s legs as he shuffles backward.

Atlas takes his shoulders.

“Lead the way, Marley,” Jesse says. “You know these woods.”

Luce picks up the two shovels and nods at me, disbelief glowing in her dark eyes. Her gloved hand gripping the poles so tight I’m surprised they don’t snap.

She’s not the only one with gloves. We all have them…. I raise my hands as I turn around, looking at the nylon that will protect me from leaving my fingerprints all over the burial site.

We are the worst people in the world.

“This way,” I mutter, wanting no part of this but knowing that’s not an option.

I briefly let my mind wander as I step off the trail and lead them deeper into the forest, the world around us turning darker with every step. I want to turn us around and go back.

What would they do if I changed my mind?

There’s no point in even thinking about it. They’ve all made it clear what we need to do. I have to follow through, take this to my grave.

I walk on, stepping over roots that have erupted from the ground. The woods have always been my safe space. If I need a break or I’m feeling down, I hike. Now I’m making them a crime scene.

“How much longer?” Atlas asks.

He sounds out of breath and kind of annoyed, as if he thinks I’m taking the long route for fun. I look over my shoulder. Both boys are gritting their teeth, and we’re only five minutes in.

“Not long,” I say, lying. I turn back just in time to see that I’m about to trip over a root. “Watch out for that. Low-lying branches ahead too.”

“I still feel queasy,” Luce says.

“Same. Let’s just get this over with,” I say, wiping my brow. It might be the middle of the night, but it’s still stuffy as hell. Thick leaves acting like insulation, fueling the torture of tonight. Or maybe that’s just what it feels like because we deserve the torture. It’s definitely cooler than it was on the road.

Branches poke out from trees as if they’re trying to reach each other, to band together and catch us before we get away with what we’re about to do. I push them aside, silently pleading with them to keep our secret.

We weave through, the boys awkwardly maneuvering Arthur as they go, both panting, foreheads shiny with sweat. Each step I take is a monumental effort, every cell in my body wanting to stop this.

“All right, here’s the spot,” I say when we reach the area, the words burning my throat like acid. “This good with you, Jesse?”

He nods and they lower Arthur to the ground. Atlas shakes his hands out and crouches down, tucking his head into his chin.

“Luce and I will start,” I tell them, my nylon-covered hands trembling.

Atlas and Jesse look beyond exhausted, and they did carry him all this way.

I take one of the shovels and stab it into the ground. Luce does the same, and very slowly we begin to dig, the odd sniff from me and the sound of spades cutting through the earth making the only sounds.

“Take the top layer off, like how you see turf. We need to be able to put it back,” I say.

I dig again, tilt the shovel, and take up the top layer of forest floor. I repeat the motions, my mind wandering elsewhere to protect me from what I’m doing.

We put the turf neatly to the side, knowing we’ll need it to look as natural as possible, just in case. Neat piles of the top ground that will conceal our crime.

“We can chuck some leaves on top too,” Jesse says, hunting around for fallen leaves. There aren’t many in summer, but he manages to grab some.

“Does it need to be long?” Luce asks.

I let out an involuntary gasp, unable to hide my horror. “Yes! We’re not folding him in half.”

The least we can do is bury him properly, not squashed into ahole.

She nods, retching. “Folding. Oh god. Of course we’re not. I don’t know what I was saying.”

“Let me do some,” Atlas says, taking the shovel from me. “Sit down, babe.”

I’d usually tell him not to treat me like I’m made of glass, but I’m so grateful that he’s ready to take over that I squeeze his arm and go sit down on the ground. My legs give out and I fall on a crusty pile of moss.

Jesse takes over for Luce and marks out where the grave needs to end. He and Atlas work in silence, none of us able to talk much.

It takes hours. Or maybe that’s just how it feels. We alternate digging, deciding to go even deeper because we can’t stand the thought of Arthur being found by animals.

Or humans.

Eventually we have a hole big enough and a mound of mud beside it.

I heave, gasping for breath, and drop the shovel. Every muscle in my body aches, and the dirt covers my arms so thickly that I don’t think I’ll ever get it all off.

“Let’s get him in,” Jesse says, bending down.

Atlas and Jesse pant as they shuffle closer with Arthur flopped over their arms.

I brush my hands on my shorts, trying to get the mud off my nylon-covered palms.

Luce crouches down beside me, breathing through her nose as if she’s trying to prevent a breakdown.

I look up through the trees and see the stars shining down on us like thousands of eyes witnessing what we’re doing. But we’re alone here.

“Marley,” Luce whispers. “I don’t feel good.”

“Don’t puke!” Jesse says, his voice bouncing off the trees around us.

“She’s not going to,” I reply, dropping to my knees and rubbing her back. Well, she might, but I don’t want him pressuring her. “It’s okay, Luce, just breathe. It’s going to be okay.”

She shakes her head, looking down at her feet. Her hands are splayed on the ground, just as muddy as I am. The smell of mud so potent I can taste it.

Jesse stumbles in front of us, and they all nearly fall over.

“Careful,” I say. They manage to keep hold of Arthur, groaning as they right their balance.

If they’d dropped him, I think I would’ve been the one to throw up.

Luce raises her head, her usual olive-toned skin now a sickly gray.

“Breathe,” I say again. The last thing we need is her leaving DNA near the burial site. Would we have to fill the hole in and dig somewhere else?

I can’t do that again. My body is spent. I don’t have the energy to do anything other than shower and fall into bed. I want to sleep and wake up in the morning with no memory of what we’ve done.

I’d give anything to be able to forget.

“Okay, turn. Yeah, Atlas, walk toward the girls,” Jesse says, giving instructions as if he’s talking through plays on the field.

Atlas steps sideways, narrowly missing us. Arthur’s foot a yard from my face.

“Wait,” Luce says, getting to her feet. I rise with her, ready to catch her if she falls or whisk her away if she’s about to hurl. “Once we do this, we can’t go back. This is our last chance to do the right thing.”

“This is the right thing, Lucia,” Jesse says, using her full name as if she’s a misbehaving kid. “There’s no other choice. Go back to the car if you’re going to screw this up.”

“Don’t talk to me like that!”

He grits his teeth. “Look, we’ll talk in a bit, but I promise you we’re doing what we have to.”

“Can we just get this over with?” Atlas says, the tips of his fingers white where he’s gripping Arthur so hard.

They shuffle a couple more steps and then bend, the two of them in sync as if they do this regularly.

I watch Atlas’s knees sink into the moss-covered ground beside the grave.

“And drop,” Jesse says.

Drop.

I close my eyes. “Sorry,” I whisper, wincing as I hear a loud thud that I’m sure will replay in my head every second of every day until I die.

When I look up again, Atlas pushes back, almost falling into my side. He turns and presses his face against my shoulder. “Don’t hate me,” he whispers.

“I don’t,” I reply, wrapping my arms around his waist and crying. “I love you. We’re going to be okay.”

I say the words and hope he believes them.

“We need to cover him,” Jesse says, trying to sound as gentle as possible when we’re talking about throwing mud on a man we just killed. His voice doesn’t quite sound right, though. “Get to pushing the dirt on him, and then we’ll place the turf back. It won’t be perfect, but I think it’ll grow and knit together with the undisturbed stuff before anyone notices. That is if anyone ever comes this way again.”

We’re so far off the trails that it’s unlikely you would accidentally stumble across it…but that doesn’t mean no one ever will.

I have to push that thought away or it will drive me crazy.

Atlas moves aside and I crawl up to the grave. Using the palms of my hands, I push the mound of dirt into the grave, sobbing and whispering over and over how sorry I am.

My body is numb, as if I’m someone else doing this. I work on autopilot, but I still feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, a welcome reminder that I’m not dead inside.