Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

That evening, James picked Sebastian up from the duplex to head over to Parker's.

Sebastian had sent Parker home with a crate of apples as a thank-you for helping, but he didn't want to show up empty-handed tonight. He grabbed two jars of jam and a bottle of wine he'd swiped from the Storm House cellar and placed them in one of his reusable bags.

That should be enough, right? James mentioned he was bringing a side dish, but no one had asked Sebastian to make anything. He was nervous, even though he was generally comfortable with James's friends. So far, the only time he'd spent with them had to do with the curse. This was the first purely social thing he'd be joining the group for.

As he met James at his front door, Sebastian tried not to wonder how much Parker or the others really wanted him there.

James kissed Sebastian in greeting, his serious lips transforming into a gorgeous smile. "How was your day?"

"All right." Sebastian stole another kiss. He'd have liked his day more if he'd spent the whole thing with James, but he wasn't saying that aloud. He was resisting being clingy as best he could. "How was your swim?" He gave James a mischievous grin so James knew he was imagining him in a Speedo.

James shook his head in friendly exasperation. "It was good. I still think it'll be boring for you to come and watch me. It's not like when I used to do races."

"Yeah, I didn't care about the competition aspect so much."

James snorted. "So you were just ogling me?"

Sebastian ran a hand up James's bicep. "You were beautiful. It was mesmerizing watching you move through the water. Talent like that kinda draws you in. You know?"

"I see." James's cheeks went pink. He shifted his weight uneasily. "Aren't you going to ask me why I didn't pursue it further?"

"Pursue swimming?" Sebastian cocked his head. "I guess I never thought about it."

"No?" Something about Sebastian's statement seemed to please James. He grabbed Sebastian's hand and pulled him out the door. As Sebastian locked up, James said, "I got a bit of flack for not taking a scholarship to swim in college. My coaches said I'd wasted all my potential."

Sebastian turned to face James. "But did you want to continue swimming?"

"Not really." James shrugged and led the way to Eli's car. "I loved it growing up, but I didn't want to make it my life. People assumed I would since I had a bit of talent. When I'd come back to Moonlight Falls to visit Eli and Grandma, everyone would ask how swimming was going and would be surprised to hear I'd given up the competitive stuff."

Sebastian climbed into the car. "Where did you go after high school?"

"Apple Valley." James buckled his seatbelt. "I went to the community college, then started an electrician's apprenticeship with Hazel. After a year of that, I was back here for Eli when our grandma died, and I was glad it was so easy to come home. That I hadn't gone far. If I'd taken the scholarship I'd been offered, I'd have had to move out of state and would have ended up dropping out when Grandma died. Instead, I was able to finish my apprenticeship by commuting to Apple Valley while living here."

"You didn't want to leave, did you?"

"No. The idea of a big university or traveling for swim meets wasn't appealing and had nothing to do with the career I wanted. Being an electrician was always the plan, and I may have been able to swim in college, but that didn't mean I'd make it as a career athlete." James started the car. "Besides, I didn't want to be too far from the magic here. People in town understand not leaving Moonlight Falls but then are confused about me abandoning swimming. Doesn't add up, does it?"

"No," Sebastian agreed. "I'm glad you did what you wanted."

James put his hand on the back of Sebastian's neck and squeezed gently, a soft expression on his face. "Me too. And I know people here are proud of me. They never meant to sound chiding. I guess my coaches' reactions hurt, and every time someone brought it up, it would remind me how much I'd disappointed them."

"I bet your coaches weren't Moonlighters. Or they would have understood."

James let out a grunt that almost sounded like a laugh. "No. You're right. They weren't."

They drove to Parker's house on the east side of town. Unlike James, Sebastian had been happy to leave Moonlight Falls, though he might not have bothered with college if he'd known he was going to get sucked back here and trapped before he could graduate.

He supposed he could go back to school now that he was free to enroll in something online while trapped in Moonlight Falls, but he wasn't sure if there was much point. Sebastian didn't need a degree for anything. He wasn't interested in research like Eli. He wanted to do something that had a clear purpose. He needed a direction in his life and didn't think a random bachelor's degree would help. He hadn't exactly had career plans when he was younger, just the need to escape.

They arrived, and James walked into Parker's house without knocking. Sebastian couldn't help feeling like an interloper. Yes, he'd spent the day with Parker and Eli, but he was only here tonight because he was with James.

James led the way through the small house and placed the potato salad he'd brought in the kitchen. They found everyone sitting in the backyard, drinking beer around a fire pit.

James took a seat in one of the unoccupied lawn chairs. "Being out here feels like tempting fate."

Parker glanced up at the cloud-darkened sky. "It hasn't rained yet, and burgers aren't as good without the charcoal grill."

Eli glanced between James and Sebastian. "Do you guys want drinks?"

"Oh, I brought wine." Sebastian pulled the bottle out of his bag. There was a pause. "We don't have to open it though. Um. I also brought you some jam." He turned to Parker.

"Thanks." Parker took the wine and examined the label. "Here, come in with me, and we can pop the cork." He turned toward the house.

Sebastian followed.

In the kitchen, Parker put the wine on the counter. "What kind of jam have you got?"

"Apricot." Sebastian handed over the jars.

"Between this and the apples, you're spoiling me." Parker was smiling, but Sebastian was unsure if Parker was genuinely pleased. Had he done the right thing by bringing a gift?

Sebastian scrunched up the empty bag in his hands. "I can't come to dinner empty-handed."

Parker set the jars on the counter. "Hazel does every week."

"But she's your friend." Sebastian froze as soon as the words left his mouth .

Parker gave him a stern look. "So are you."

Sebastian's stomach twisted. "Just like that?"

"Why not?" Parker crossed his arms, a single brow raised.

"I mean, we hardly know each other, and I've trapped you in Moonlight Falls. I know James is your friend, but that doesn't automatically extend to me." Sebastian needed to stop talking. He wanted Parker as a friend and shouldn't be trying to talk him out of it, but he wondered if challenging the other man's acceptance was the only way he might believe it was real.

Parker stood firm. "It can automatically extend to you. I have no reason not to like you, Sebastian. I'm a simple guy, and James liking you is enough reason for me to want to get to know you."

But it couldn't be that simple. If it was, why had Sebastian been alone for so long? Even before he was trapped, he'd never had a strong group of friends. "I just don't know how you all can act like I haven't screwed up your lives. I've given you my curse and dumped all my problems on you."

"Sebastian." Parker's serious expression turned disapproving. "You haven't screwed up anyone's lives. Being confined to Moonlight Falls isn't ideal. It's something I don't want to last for the rest of my life, but even if it does, it's a price worth paying for you to not be alone."

Sebastian blinked. "You can't mean that."

"Why not? I bet Hazel, Eli, and James would all agree. The problem of the veins isn't your responsibility. It's a town issue with the potential to affect all of us, so we should all pitch in to solve it. And the four of us having to deal with the curse is better than you suffering alone. If the situation had been presented to me and I'd had the choice to leave you at that house so I could be free or accept the curse and give all of us a bigger cage, it wouldn't have even been a choice worth thinking about."

Sebastian squeezed the bag in his hands so tight his fingers cramped. "But you didn't get a choice."

"Neither did you. You don't have to feel guilty, Sebastian. What happened to you is horrifying, and any of us would have made sacrifices to spare you from it."

"Why?" Sebastian looked away. He was overwhelmed with feelings of unworthiness. He couldn't believe anything Parker was saying. Parker got nothing out of making sacrifices for him. Maybe if James had said it, he might have entertained the possibility it could be true. James liked him. James enjoyed sex with him and wanted to take care of him, but even then, Sebastian had trouble trusting James at his word when his fears screamed at him not to.

Parker gave Sebastian a sad smile. "Because no one should be left alone, bearing the burden of keeping the town safe. All of us confined to Moonlight Falls is nowhere near as bad as one person cut off from literally everything. I could never sacrifice someone else to make my life more comfortable."

Sebastian had never thought about it that way. He was astounded that Parker would be willing to give anything up for him. He almost didn't believe that kind of selflessness was real.

No one ever gave anything up for him.

"I just don't know why you care," he mumbled.

"You're worth caring about, Sebastian. You aren't defined by your family's curse. You're with us now, and we're not letting you go." Parker clasped him on the shoulder in a firm, reassuring gesture.

Sebastian looked up and met Parker's intimidating stare. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wanted to keep asking why . He hadn't earned this. It didn't make any sense.

Sebastian took a step back, and Parker let his hand fall. Sebastian glanced around the kitchen, his skin crawling with discomfort. He wanted to leave, get away from these feelings. The only reason he didn't scamper down the hall was because James was sitting in the backyard.

His distracted gaze landed on the crate of apples. "Should I make a pie for dessert?" Sebastian sounded as frazzled as he felt. When Parker didn't immediately respond, he continued, "Or help cook? You helped me this afternoon, so just let me know what you need."

"You don't have to earn your keep," Parker said as if he'd read Sebastian's mind.

But he did. Otherwise, how could he be sure Parker wouldn't change his mind and decide he wasn't worth it. Sebastian was being given everything he wanted and couldn't handle it. Parker's friendship and frank acceptance were too perfect. It couldn't be real. The idea that it could be was terrifying.

"Come out and sit with us." Parker grabbed a corkscrew and opened the wine, then poured a glass for Sebastian. "Give this to James." He pulled a beer out of the fridge.

Sebastian accepted the drinks.

Parker took two covered plates out of the fridge. "We want you here, Sebastian, and that's not going to change." He led the way out to the yard, and Sebastian followed.

James glanced over at them and smiled, a simple, tender expression just for Sebastian like he made James's life better just by being there.

Why did Sebastian feel like he didn't deserve any of this and therefore, it couldn't be real? He had no reason to think Parker was lying to him. He could trust Parker, just as he could trust that James didn't blame him for his parents' accident. Sebastian had no reason not to take these honest men at their word. His skepticism and distrust came from his own self-doubt and he needed to stop giving it so much influence over how he reacted to things.

Maybe he didn't have to feel so unworthy.

If Parker could believe Sebastian was worth sacrificing some of his freedom for, surely it wasn't a foregone conclusion that everyone would resent him one day. Sebastian knew James wanted to take care of him and share a future with him. He wanted to take care of James too. He'd do just about anything for James, so why assume that sentiment didn't go both ways? Everything James had shown him said he was committed and not about to abandon him.

There wasn't a single solid thing to support Sebastian's fears except for his own feelings of unworthiness. None of his interactions with James, Parker, Eli, or Hazel said Sebastian would lose these people's support or that they found him in any way unworthy. He should be able to accept the facts in front of him and let go of the idea that the only way to get through life was to be ready for people to leave him.

He might not be doomed to lose everything. That fear wasn't actually grounded in reality. It was his past clouding his present, and he wanted to let it go.

Maybe he was worthy of friends and a happy life just as he was. James and the others accepted him as if that were that simple. As if he didn't have to earn love or prove himself to keep it, and if that were the case, maybe he didn't have to be so afraid.

Sebastian sat in the lawn chair next to James. He scooted it closer so he could rest his head on James's shoulder. It was a clingy gesture and gave away Sebastian's need to be comforted, but James's only response was to drape an arm around Sebastian's shoulders and pull him closer.

Could Sebastian be needy and imperfect and still keep James's affection? The idea was terrifying. Exposing himself to James so honestly would make rejection all the more painful. But Sebastian could trust James. He had no reason to think James would abandon him.

The fire in the pit burned bright. Sebastian watched the flames, the physical contact with James soothing him.

"Think we'll see any shades tonight?" Hazel asked as it got dark .

Parker stood over at the grill, tending to the burgers. "Who knows."

James rubbed his hand up and down Sebastian's arm. "The fire will probably keep them back." The patio light would have been enough in the past, but it wouldn't keep light-resistant shades away. Objects could be warded but open spaces couldn't since there was nothing physical to tie the spell's boundary to on all necessary sides. The fire was probably their best bet if they didn't want to avoid being out after dark.

"There were a bunch of shades in town last night." Sebastian had forgotten about the shades for most of the day. He told everyone what he'd seen from his window, not moving from his spot curled against James. He still felt raw and overwhelmed from all the thoughts talking to Parker had dragged up.

After he finished describing the shades' behavior, there was a pause as everyone digested the information.

Hazel frowned from across the firepit. "Sounds freaky."

"But who knows what it means." Eli picked at the label on his beer bottle. "Maybe shades do stuff like that all the time, but no one's ever seen it."

"Yeah, it's not like they were trying to cause trouble or break anything like they did in town before," James agreed.

Uncertainty seemed to hang in the air as if they all thought something was wrong with the spectacle Sebastian had witnessed but had no concrete reason to explain why.

Eventually, they retreated inside to eat. There were beef burgers and veggie burgers with all the fixings, as well as James's potato salad. Everyone made a plate and found a spot in the kitchen or adjoining pool room and tucked into their food.

"Anyone up for a game?" Hazel asked when she'd finished eating, pointing to the pool table.

"Sure." Sebastian wiped his hands and stepped forward.

Hazel had a positively evil grin. "Want to break?"

Sebastian hesitated as he grabbed a pool cue. "No, you can. "

It felt like everyone was watching intently and Sebastian wondered if he was missing something. But if he was going to try and stop doubting these people's acceptance, he had to act like he was part of the group and not second guess everything he did around them or worry one misstep would push them away.

So he was going to play pool with his friends and not stress about it.

Once Hazel sent the balls scattering, Sebastian considered the table. He lined up a shot and sunk a solid ball. He went on to sink four more before he missed.

He straightened to find Hazel's narrow-eyed gaze fixed on him. "What?"

Parker chuckled.

No one explained what was funny. Hazel had her turn and got a couple of balls in. On Sebastian's next turn, he cleared the rest of the solids.

"How are you so good at this?" Hazel asked, incredulous, after Sebastian called out his last shot.

"There's a billiards room at Storm House." Sebastian sent the eight ball careening across the table and into the pocket he'd indicated. He grinned. "I've had lots of time to practice."

"Damn." Hazel frowned, but not like she was actually annoyed. It was an expression he'd seen on James many times. After a moment's contemplation, Hazel turned toward the others. "Eli, why don't you play me next."

Eli was back in the kitchen eating potato chips. "No thanks." He caught Parker's eye, and the two shared a charged look. Parker bit his lip, looking like he wanted to devour Eli.

"Hazel only likes to play when she can win," James explained to Sebastian, seeming to miss the moment between his brother and Parker.

Sebastian knocked Hazel's pool cue lightly with his. "Seems like you need practice now that I'm around. Then we can go again. "

She laughed. "You're on."

Something slammed into the sliding glass door, and they all jumped at the sound.

"What the fuck was that?" The bag of chips lay forgotten at Eli's feet.

James's gaze found Sebastian in a seemingly reflexive move, like his first instinct was to seek him out and check he was okay. It grounded Sebastian, made him feel claimed and cared for, even while his heart pounded in response to the sudden scare.

He reluctantly tore his eyes away from James and looked out into the dark. He couldn't see anything.

"I'd say it was a shade hitting the door." Parker walked right up to the glass, his nose almost touching it. "I can't see anything out there now, and the house is warded, so we should be fine."

A bang came from the kitchen.

"Something hit the window." Eli pointed in front of him.

"What the hell?" Hazel stalked into the kitchen. "They can't smash through the glass if it's warded. What are they doing?"

More shades assaulted the house. Three hit the sliding glass door, and from the sound of it, at least one more hit the kitchen window. The shades on the other side of the glass door didn't dissipate or retreat this time. They hovered, staring back at everyone inside.

Parker flicked a switch on the wall and floodlights lit his yard, much brighter than the ones he'd had on while they were grilling.

The shades didn't retreat. They didn't even seem to notice.

"Should we ignore them?" Sebastian shifted closer to James. "The ones at Storm House were always peering in at me, but pretending I didn't notice usually prompted them to go away."

"The ones at your house weren't this aggressive," James murmured, his attention fixed on the shades behind the glass.

"I know. But unless we want to go outside and start conjuring fireballs, what can we do? They can't get in."

"Let's give it a few minutes. See if they get bored." Parker turned down the hallway toward the front of the house. "If they keep it up, we'll have to go out and get rid of them. I'm going to check the front."

Eli followed Parker down the hall.

The shades at the back door slowly drifted away from the house. Just as Sebastian hoped they were leaving, they swooped back in and smashed into the wards protecting the glass.

He, James, and Hazel all flinched.

As the shades retreated again, likely readying for another assault, a dark shadow began to tinge the edge of the glass door. Tendrils of darkness crept along like feelers searching for something.

"What is that ?" Hazel pointed at the shadow as the shades struck again, banging loudly against the wards.

It had to be shades in non-solid form, but if that's all it was, why had the glass rattled this time? The charging shades shouldn't have been able to impact the house. Right?

Eli and Parker returned from the front of the house. Parker frowned at the shadow now covering a quarter of his sliding door. "There are shades out front too, charging the windows, but we couldn't see any lurking around the other houses on the street. I've got the bright lights on out front, not that it's done anything."

The shades struck again. The glass shook.

"If the place is warded, then why have those last two hits made an impact?" James asked.

"I don't know. It shouldn't be possible." Parker pulled Eli behind him as the glass rattled again.

Shades had limited magic. They could shape the shadow that made up their bodies and incorporate themselves into the dark, but they couldn't cast complex spells. They couldn't counter human magic, which was why warding against them was a standard, simple practice. There should have been no way for the shades to weaken Parker's protective spells .

"What if that shadow isn't what we think it is?" Sebastian gestured to the growing darkness blocking out the glass door. It seemed similar to the river of shadow he'd seen in town last night. Had he been wrong about what he'd seen? "What if it's not just more semi-solid shades?"

Hazel's eyes widened in alarm. "What else could it be?"

Sebastian had no answer.

"Get back," Parker barked as the shades struck again. There were more hitting the glass now, at least five that Sebastian could see.

Everyone retreated to the back wall of the room. Sebastian pressed his shoulder against James.

James gripped Sebastian's hand, pointing with his other. "That looks like a crack." Sure enough, there was a jagged fracture in the middle of the glass.

"Fuck." Parker ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, they're breaking in. We can figure out how later." He moved forward, reaching for the door handle. "I'm going to open it. If the wards have been broken, the shades will rush in, and we'll need to send fire at them. There's no need to wait for them to shatter the glass."

Everyone made sounds of agreement.

Parker unlatched the door and pulled it open, sending fire out in the process. Sparks flew through the air and caught on the first shade. Flames erupted and it burst into wafts of smoke, banished back to Beyond.

The other shades didn't hesitate as their fellow was taken care of. They charged the now open doorway and smashed into an invisible barrier. It seemed the wards were still mostly intact and hadn't been weakened enough for the shades to do more than a little damage to the glass.

Sebastian, James, and Hazel rushed forward, helping Parker send sparks after the beasts. Fire caught on each shade, and they exploded, leaving the physical world behind .

"Look!" Eli shouted.

The shadowy feelers were making their way into the room, creeping along the floor. It looked almost like they were squeezing through an invisible crack in the wards, seeping in and then expanding outward.

"How is that possible?" Hazel asked as she sent sparks at the invasive shadow.

"Don't light the house on fire," James growled as he stomped out a stray spark.

One of Hazel's other sparks caught on a tendril of dark shadow. It screeched and writhed, breaking off from the rest of the shadow before it exploded into nothing.

"Did it just scream?" Sebastian looked at the others in disbelief. They seemed as shocked as he felt.

"Fuck." James lurched back as some of the shadow reached his foot. Hazel shot sparks at the tendril as it wrapped around James's ankle, and it burst.

Eli appeared behind them with a fire extinguisher. "Just in case."

Parker positioned himself in front of Eli as he helped the others fight back the shadow crawling along the floor like the tentacles of some deep sea monster. The shadow's ability to break off into separate pieces made it impossible to banish completely. A new tendril replaced each one that was destroyed as more flowed in from outside.

More shades appeared. Sebastian concentrated on sending his sparks through the open door at them, but he was starting to get winded. His magical ability wasn't that strong. Definitely not as strong as James's or Hazel's, and nowhere near Parker's level.

He sent sparks at a shade, and it caught fire. Several more swooped around the yard, hissing and charging at the house. At least there weren't hordes of them. The situation was still manageable unless more were lurking just out of sight. As Sebastian searched for more shades in the distance, he realized the yard was much darker than it should have been, considering Parker had his floodlights on.

The others continued to battle the shadow twisting along the floor, but Sebastian was fixated on the yard. He could barely see the back fence when, before, every corner had been lit up. Were there more shades back there? Was that why it was so dark? He strained, trying to see if there was any movement.

Nothing moved, but he swore there was a hulking figure lurking behind the tree.

Sebastian blinked, and the thing came into focus. It was a shade but not quite. The frame of its upper body was more like that of a large man. The longer Sebastian looked, the more drained he felt. Exhaustion swelled, and his head spun.

He staggered, blinking rapidly, his gaze leaving the figure in the yard as his vision darkened around the edges. Sebastian swayed and fell.