32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

C iaran returns to his seat, and I stare into my eyes. My breathing slows. I don't have control, but I find peace in it. My chest heaves, and I shutter as August lifts me to a seated position.

"Look at yourself."

Slowly, I turn back towards the mirror. My reflection startles me. It's me, but it's not me.

She stares back at me confidently and intensely. My eyes find Ciaran in the mirror, and we make eye contact.

He lowers his eyebrows, studying me intently. There's a tightness in my throat, and I want to look away, but I can't. I get the distinct impression that I am looking a real predator in the eyes. If I look away, will he bite me?

Shadows spread from me outwardly. Ciaran lifts a hand and blocks them with his shield. He twitches his hand slightly, and the shield shifts like a dome around me and August. I fill it with darkness and writhe in my restraints. I pull so hard on my wrists that I'm afraid I might injure myself.

Calm down , I say to my darkness. August won't hurt me. Shadows fill the shielded space between August and myself in the inky blackness of a moonless night, and I lose sight of him and Ciaran.

"He won't, but the other one might. He's a killer. I see it in his eyes." The voice coming out of my mouth is my own but huskier, and it's jarring.

"You're right," August says. I whip my head in his direction, but it's impossible to see anything. "He is a killer. Your perception skills are spot on. Ciaran is my right-hand man, and I sometimes ask unspeakable things of him."

My eyes dart in all directions, trying to land on anything, and I fear my darkness may be okay with breaking my left wrist if it frees me. The tension is almost unbearable as she pulls on my restraints. I grit my teeth, and tears sting the corners of my eyes.

"Bronwyn, you need to take back control. I know you can hear me." His deep voice is soothing, and I cling to it. "Reach within your well and find her tether. You will likely find your tether to Luc as well, but you should be able to tell the difference."

I feel within my well, noticing how full it is. I haven't spent much time exploring it and how it feels beyond the level of power contained within.

"You're going to have to go deeper than you have before." I feel a pop in my left wrist, and I cry out as sharp pain shoots up my arm. She's going to break my hand to set us free. I need to work quickly. I pull myself deeper within my mind and to the edge of my well, which, at this moment, appears to be a body of water under the night sky. I don't hesitate and wade into the water.

The water is warm and welcoming. It slides along my skin like oil, and I move effortlessly as if I were floating through air. I swim away from the shore and float onto my back, taking in the vast night sky and the multitude of glittering stars. Where do I find the tether? It's too dark to see anything out here. There are no insect or animal sounds here, and I only hear the sounds of my body pushing through the water.

I close my eyes and breathe deeply, feeling the water rippling and pulsing around me. My eyes fly open, and I pull myself upright. There's a very faint pulsing in the water, rippling from somewhere below me. I take a deep breath and pull myself underwater, swimming towards the sensation. I open my eyes to a faint glow, but it doesn't seem like that is where the pulsing is coming from.

"You can leave, Ciaran," August says. His voice is muffled and distant. "I've got it from here." I swim closer to whatever is pulsing in the water and see an opening to a dark underwater cave. "That's it, Bronwyn." August sounds even more distant and muffled now.

I reach the opening of the cave, and I'm overwhelmed by a sense of doom and dread. This is definitely where the pulse is emanating from. I stop at the mouth, bracing myself on a large rock so I'm not sucked in with the current.

I peer deeper, and my heart skips a beat as I notice a tree-sized serpent staring at me. Panicked and forgetting where I am, I suck in a large breath. I grasp my neck before realizing I'm not drowning. I can breathe in here.

I swim quickly away from the cave towards the glowing light. It grows and ripples through the water, and I feel safe again. Ahead at the edge of a cavern stands the silhouette of a figure with two large horns. Once I am closer, the figure takes form. The massive statue of a powerful-looking woman stands tall. She doesn't have horns but instead wears a half-moon crown with the points extending upward. The torch she holds burns and scatters blinding light through the water.

My eyes adjust, and as I approach, her head turns towards me. Her eyes are black, and her expression is unreadable. Her calf is the length of my whole body, and I suddenly feel very small before her. I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be, but I'm not sure what to do.

"It's you," she says. I recognize her voice immediately. She is my inner darkness. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to regain control," I say, " and I need you to let go."

"But we are in danger," she says. "I can save us."

I swim up until I am level with her eyes. "August won't hurt us. He is trying to help, trying to teach me." Her lower eyelids raise slightly, and she cocks her head. She studies me before extending her torch towards me.

I reach out and touch the phoenix sigil on the base of the torch. Everything around me turns pitch black, and I cannot see. I try to swim, but I can't move.

It takes me a moment to realize I'm no longer exploring my well but am back in the library, kneeling before August. I slow my breathing, and my racing heart slows as well. As I calm down, I relinquish my grasp on the shadows. They dissipate, and August comes into view, sitting on the ground before me.

"I knew you could do it." The shadows around us disappear entirely, and I'm left kneeling before him. "Good girl," he purrs. His voice is deep and hushed, and those two words release a rabble of butterflies in my stomach. He pulls a knife and, in one swift motion, cuts the rope that binds my wrists and then my thighs.

I stand, stumbling on my numb, tingling feet, and August catches me. He carries me to the fountain and sits me down.

"I'm sorry," he says, sitting beside me. "I didn't realize how long it would take. I would have chosen a different position had I known."

"Why tie me up at all?" The sharpness in my tone reveals the anger building in my core. "I don't feel near as dangerous as you make me out to be. As far as I can tell, the only powers I have are healing, projecting, and these shadows." I count on my fingers before dropping my hands onto my lap. "What am I going to do, shadow someone to death?"

"Technically, the shadows aren't your magic."

What he says makes sense. I haven't been able to use them on my own. "Okay, what about the projecting. Are you sure it isn't a glamour gift like you previously thought? Could I have both?"

"You probably only have the two gifts. It's unlikely you have a third."

The candles flicker, and I can tell he is thinking about something. "Tell me again about the time in the kitchen with the guards and the time before that when you thought you used your powers. Tell me exactly what you were doing."

I go over once again the time we were in the kitchen when I tried to glamour the guards into kissing one another. August rubs his eyebrows with one hand and gestures for me to continue with his free hand.

My cheeks heat at the thought of the other instances.

I stand and walk to the restaurant with tingly feet. I pour myself a generous glass of a clear liquid. It smells strongly of citrus and pine, and I sample it. It's been a long time since I've had good gin. It's an expensive import that we rarely carried at The Snakebeard. Upon returning to my seat, August raises his eyebrows at me, and I sigh.

I tell August about what I did in the tent, leaving Eoin's name out of it. He asks a few questions, and I can tell he is trying to narrow down what sort of magic I was using.

"Is that all?" he asks.

I run my finger along the rim of my glass. "There's one more instance." He encourages with a nod and, my head bobs in mimic. "In the Helios Castle gardens."

I don't leave details out this time.

"Eoin?"

I nod, finally looking at him. He's smiling. Then laughing.

"Was it Eoin in the tent as well?" He leans back, nearly falling into the fountain, laughing more.

Irritation hits me, and I snap at him. "Yes, it was Eoin. Why is that so funny?"

"I apologize," he says, still chuckling. "I should have known, given what I saw after the House of Cards—you two on the bench."

"It's not like that," I say. "We're just friends. We just went through some stuff on the road, and we were traveling a while."

"You don't have to explain anything. I was mostly just impressed that you had interactions with him, and it didn't go any further. He may be the first human to escape a siren's snare—definitely the first I've ever heard of. It's impressive."

"I wasn't trying to snare him."

"I know," he says. He stands and extends his hand to me. I take it, and we phase back to my balcony. My fireplace ignites, full flame as if it's been burning for hours.

"So, the children's fables are true?" I ask, genuinely concerned.

"Partly," he says. His eyes linger on my nightstand and the stack of books he left me. "Most lore and fables are based in some truth. There are Sirens with fins and gill near the island to this day. There's a reason sailors don't pass through there. Also, passionate interactions with a siren are said to be quite intoxicating, almost addicting. There can be a level of obsession and protection, sometimes to a problematic level." The corner of his mouth lifts in a half smile. "The interactions we know between sirens and humans rarely end well. The island fable you've probably heard of is unfortunately based mostly in truth. If you would read the books I gave you, you would know that."

My heart sinks at the implication, and I swallow hard.

"Don't think too much of it. Many sirens carried on perfectly normal lives. The curse is said to be less potent on other fae. Siren history and the story of the island are complicated and vague at best. I was simply trying to convey how impressed I was with your friend." He walks towards the balcony. "Goodnight, Bronwyn. You did good tonight."