2. Abi

IN WHICH SEVERAL WEEKS PASS, SENKA REVEALS A SECRET, AND A STRANGE RITUAL IS PROPOSED

Over the next few weeks, Abi settled into her role, and an easy friendship with Senka. Patrol meant they spent most of their shift apart, but they saw each other at their periodic check-ins and their lunch breaks. At lunch, another pair of guards covered for them, a task Abi had always coveted when she hadn't been one of the chamber guards. Though her mother didn't continue packing Abi's lunch, it seemed she quite liked hearing about Senka's reactions to her treats. As a result, most days when Abi woke mid-afternoon for her shift, she'd find a package of treats on her doorstep.

"What do you think she's made today?" Senka would ask at the start of their shift.

Each time they met up, they'd have some guesses, either a confection Abi's mother had sent on a previous day, or some wild conglomeration they'd thought up. Abi was beginning to anticipate her friend's guesses and would spend her ride into work thinking about what Senka might say.

"I haven't the foggiest, but it's sure to be good ..." Abi would answer, smiling at how Senka's wisps would wave faster in their excitement.

Almost a month to the day after Abi's promotion, the pair sat on their usual rock by the lake, finishing their mid-shift meal.

"Have you ever thought about how we call it lunch, but really, for anyone else this would be supper ... Or a late-night snack?" Senka mused, a curl of shadow wafting off their arm to stroke their chin in thought.

"You know ... I hadn't really," Abi said, her spoon of soup halfway to her mouth, head cocked to the side. "... But for us, it's still lunch. I go home and eat supper after we are done, don't you?"

A dark glow, like the light of lunula but deeper in color, pulsed out of Senka's face.

Is that how they blush? Abi wondered.

It was adorable, though Abi couldn't imagine what they'd have to blush about, nor did she have any intention of making her friend uncomfortable. Raising her water bottle to her mouth, she looked away, hoping that giving her friend some privacy would help with any embarrassment.

"Actually," Senka began, their tendrils curling up on themselves in a way that felt agitated, "I don't need to eat this much ... or this often."

"Why in the Lady's name have you been eating so much every day, then? Is it bad for you?" Abi worried.

"No, no," Senka answered, waving the hand holding their sandwich, a complex concoction that involved flavored aiolis and other ingredients Abi could scarcely pronounce. "We can, we just don't need to, so, we often don't. We only eat once a week or so. Eating this much doesn't hurt me, I just convert it and it floats away anyway."

"Is—is that why you are so obsessed with my mum's sweets?" Abi asked, realization dawning. "Because you don't eat that often?"

Senka nodded, the wisps of their hair waving in slow motion around their head. "Exactly, and for most of us, I suppose, eating is a bit of a chore. I've always loved it, but I haven't had many opportunities to eat regularly. Not to mention, I've never had anything like what your Mum makes. It tastes amazing. Most of our food tends to be pretty bland, or heavily feature lunula."

"Lunula—on purpose?" Abi burst out, already imagining the grassy taste of the stuff on her tongue. She took some every day, and there was a certain amount of it in most of their food and water, she supposed, but the idea of adding more was honestly a little sick-making.

Senka laughed, the warm tones of their joy echoing around their alcove to ripple across the water. "Yes, on purpose, to show our dedication. And what's worse is that cooking kills the magic ... so there really isn't any point."

Abi looked on in horror. "No wonder you like cookies so deuced much ..." Abi sympathized, reaching to pat her friend on the shoulder.

As they often did, Senka's wisps reached for Abi's hand, wrapping around it, twining into her fingers, and giving just the slightest tug to settle it on their shoulder. The corner of her mouth quirked up; Abi loved knowing, from that small reaction, that her friend welcomed her touches and comfort.

They sat in silence for a few moments, chewing along until Abi noticed Senka shifting uncomfortably. "Are you all right?" she asked.

"I'm grand, I just wasn't as friendly with my previous partner. As kids, shades don't really get to have much interaction with other kids in the village, so I suppose I have a lot of questions about other people ..." they trailed off.

Schooling her features so that they looked open and curious, Abi removed her hand and turned to give her friend her full attention. "Ach so, what sorts? I'm happy to answer any questions you've got."

"Well, the one I was thinking of just now is—see, the problem is, I'm not sure if it's rude or not," Senka said, screwing their mouth to the side, reluctant to answer. It was difficult to discern their features since it was all so dark, but Abi had learned to use the reflection of the lunula to see them better.

"It's all right if it would normally be rude," Abi reassured. "Since you've told me, I know you don't mean to be, you're just curious. Go on, then."

"All right ..." Senka started, their normally smooth voice shaky and uncertain. "What does it feel like to take a poop? You all eat so much, which I think means you also spend a lot of time pooping."

Abi was so surprised by the question that she had to actively stop herself from laughing. She had the feeling that if she laughed at Senka now, it would hurt their feelings and damage the friendship they started. Abi twisted her mouth to the side, trying to figure out a good description.

"Well, there is first a feeling of pressure, like something is pushing inside of you, and then there's the moment where you are actually going, where I suppose it feels kind of like tightening your stomach muscles. After that, there's a feeling of release ..." she said.

Abi turned her head away to hide her blush, it was really a basic bodily function, and she had no reason to be embarrassed about it, except for the fact that apparently, she was supposed to be embarrassed about it. She knew, from Senka"s earnest nature, they hadn't asked to make her feel uncomfortable. They'd simply been curious and wanted to know. Abi lifted her water bottle to take a drink, wondering what their next question would be.

"It almost kind of sounds like ejaculating ..." Senka observed.

Abi watched her water spurt from her mouth in surprise. It burst from her lips, quite out of her control, and arced through the air. Petrified, time slowed as she watched it follow its parabolic path to completion and splash down.

Into the Lady's lake.

She gasped in horror, immediately looking around to see if anyone else was near or had noticed. They seemed to be alone. She blushed furiously and could feel the sting of tears at the corner of her eyes. Not only had she just laughed at Senka's simple observation, but she had just spit into the Lady's lake.

Abi was terrified to look at Senka, surely this was the end of their easy companionship. The shades were primarily responsible for preserving the Lady's safety and dignity. Surely Senka would take offense.

Her vision was beginning to blur when she heard a snicker coming from her left. Abi turned to see Senka, arms clutched to their middle, eyes wide and glowing, and their mouth pinched tight, suppressing a laugh. Still smiling, their jaw dropped.

"Abi, I think you just spit in the Lady's bathwater!" They ended on a giggle, their wisps waving around their body. They rocked backward, bursting into full belly laughs.

At first, Abi just stared at them. She didn't understand. Shouldn't they be offended?

It seemed that instead they found the entire sequence of events hilarious. Eventually, Abi couldn't hold back her own laugh.

"Oh Lady, I'm so sorry! I suppose I did, didn't I?" Abi said between laughs. "I hope She isn't offended, I didn't mean to!"

Senka shook their head, sitting up. "Honestly, I doubt she cares, if someone spit near me while I was taking a nap I wouldn't notice. Plus, I doubt she worries about if the fish in the water are pooping in her lake."

A new round of giggles burst from Abi. "What is it with you and poop?"

"I just think it's fascinating. I've never done it before, but it seems to take up a lot of your day. You never talk about it, except to excuse yourselves to do it more times a day than I can count. And I've never known anybody I could ask about it before. I suppose ..." they said, trailing off, "Both things are kind of secret?"

"Both things?" Abi asked.

"Well, yes," Senka whispered, "Pooping and ejaculation."

If any of Abi"s blush had worn off, it was surely back now. "Yes, or I suppose I wouldn't say secret, more like, not polite conversation?"

"Ach so, that was rude? I wasn't trying to be rude to you!" Senka said, their voice high and strained.

"No, no, it's fine to talk about it with some people, just not others. I like to think we are pretty good friends now, so if we want to decide we are close enough to talk about such things, we can."

Several of Senka's wisps twisted on themselves, "Well, I like you enough to talk about poop and ejaculation ..." they said.

Their words were barely audible, wringing their hands and looking at her with wide, reflective eyes that looked so achingly vulnerable. Reaching out her hand, laying it flat to invite them to take hers, Abi smiled encouragingly.

"I like you enough to talk about those things, too," Abi said, her smile audible in her words.

When Senka placed their hand in hers, she squeezed it lightly. The now familiar feeling of their skin was a comfort to her. Abi liked how if she applied strong pressure, their skin seemed to push back, but if she relaxed her hand it would sink to melt with Senka"s.1

"Thank you. I've never had a friend to talk to about poop or ejaculation before," Senka said, their eyes wide with adoration.

Abi bit her lips, trying to suppress a giggle. Just because she said they could talk about such things, didn't make it so that they weren't still funny or slightly awkward. It wasn't until she saw Senka's shoulders shaking that she realized what her friend had done.

Abi gasped in affront. "You did that on purpose! We were having a nice, sweet, important moment, and you purposely said something to make me laugh!"

Senka nodded, outwardly laughing so hard now that they couldn't speak, which, of course, started Abi laughing. Abi couldn't remember a time when she had laughed so hard or so often as she did with Senka.

Every time Abi felt like she had her mirth under control, Senka would make some sort of silly noise that would start her up again. The reverse also seemed to be true, so they were still laughing nearly ten minutes later, when a voice called out into the chamber.

"Hello?" said the voice from the hall. Sirin, Sanctuary's newest resident, peeked her head through the entrance.

A few months prior, she'd come north, trying to find the source of magic, and had ended up mated to a local ranger.2 She spent a lot of time visiting the Lady, taking lunula measurements from both sides of the lake. After several weeks of work, Abi was used to the small, curvy woman being around, taking measurements and handing them to her assistant, Sigfinn.

In fact, the young fish-kin man, whom Abi had babysat as a child, trailed behind her now. Sirin was always easy to spot around town, her dark hair making her pop against the sea of lunula-bleached heads. Sigfinn, on the other hand, didn't have any hair, his green pate instead bookended by wide, fin-like ears.

Abi and Senka waved at them and curbed their giggles. Usually, Sirin and Sigfinn would take their measurements, spend some time with the Lady, and leave with little chatting. Today, however, they walked straight over to where Senka and Abi sat. Abi set out their packet of pastries and packed up the rest of her lunch, wondering what precipitated their change.

"Senka, I think I'm just about ready for that ritual we talked about." Sirin gestured to the side of the chamber, where a network of caves extended under the mountain.

"Oh! Wonderful," Senka said, smiling at Sirin. "Abi, Sirin asked the Guard-Captain for permission to conduct a fertility rite."

"Congratulations! How very exciting for you both!" Abi said. If it was her, she would think it was a little early to begin thinking about children, but everyone's lives operated on their own time frame, she figured.

Instead of any of the responses she might have expected, Sirin waved her arms and laughed. "No, no," she said. "Actually, we are hoping for a good outcome for my research. It seemed to me that if you all do fertility rituals for a fruitful harvest, as well as for pregnancy, my research could likely also use any bump toward any success the Lady might be willing to grant."

Abi blinked and turned to look at Senka. It was highly irregular, and she now understood why Sirin had needed to get permission from the Guard-Captain. "What an interesting idea!" she said.

"Yes, thank you. To that end, Sigfinn and I will be removing the mattress and linens from the chamber today," Sirin stated, as if such a thing made sense.

"Why would you want to remove the mattress and the linens?" Abi wondered aloud.

Perhaps the type of fertility rituals Sirin had in mind was very different from the sort that people usually conducted.3 Even the yearly harvest fertility rite involved ritual intercourse between a newly married couple. It was a great honor to be chosen and almost all newlyweds in the area hoped that they would have their opportunity to help the community.

"Actually, this is something that Sirin and I discussed when she first asked about doing the ritual," Senka began. "Because this feels more complicated than a simple pregnancy, Sirin wants to make sure that she is properly showing her dedication and devotion. As such, she doesn't want anything in the room designed specifically for her comfort."

"I see, well, I understand why the mattress would have to go, then!"

After a few minutes talking about the logistics of removing the mattress and linens, Sirin and Sigfinn left Abi and Senka to finish their lunch.

Senka squealed when Abi opened the package from her mother to reveal their now favorite lavender shortbread cookies.

"The woman hasn't even met you and she's already making your favorite cookies! If I wasn't her daughter I'd be offended that she likes you more than me!" Abi teased.

Senka's wisps waved a little faster and their eyes twinkled. "If your mum likes someone they've never met more than you, then I think you might need to work on your relationship with your mother," they razzed.

"She's just getting biased information. She's only hearing all the nice things I've told her about you. Whereas she knows nearly every embarrassing thing there is to know about me," Abi retorted.

"You say nice things about me to your mum?" Senka asked, their voice suddenly serious.

"Of course! What bad would I have to say about you?" Abi asked, genuinely confused.

"I don't know ... I suppose I'm just used to the fact that, among shades, everyone's mother already knows me. There aren't that many of us, and so they've all known me since I was born. The idea of someone telling their mum about me ..." they trailed off, pausing for a moment. "It's nice feeling special enough that you would tell your mum about me. That you'd tell her enough for her to like me enough to make my favorite cookies."

1.Shade physiology is fascinating. Their forms can be entirely permeable or corporeal as needed. Though they spend most of their time in a transitional state, they can become either phase or any step in between.

2.Please see "A Polar Expedition and Other Stimulating Research Opportunities" for more details on my relationship and "The Source of Magic: How Our Lady Alters the Shape of Reality Around Her" for details on my quest.

3.After years of friendship, Abi now expects such things from me, but when she recounted her befuddlement at the time, I am not too proud to say I burst out in giggles.