Twenty Abel

My mind was a mess, my emotions in turmoil when I entered the hallway leading to my barracks. The guards didn't seem to have noticed my absence and I was thankful.

"We're still on." Colt's words rang in my ears.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Our plan was still in motion. This would be over soon. In a few weeks, we'd fight back, even if it destroyed us.

Tobias walked behind me, his prominent presence conspicuous. Even without speaking, it was hard to miss the aura he exuded. I debated whether to let him into our scheme. Not because I didn't trust him—I did. But entangling him further in our world was too risky. Involving him would be unfair. He had a life waiting for him outside of this hell; a wife, perhaps even children of his own. A pang of jealousy came out of nowhere at the thought of Tobias belonging to someone else. I was so green with envy, a knot settled in my stomach, making me nauseous.

The clock struck two a.m. I groaned. I had four hours left to get some sleep if I went to bed now, but I was wide awake, physically and mentally. The reason was walking right behind me. The original plan was to go out for an hour, but we'd lost track of time even before I visited my sister. But the dangerous trek across the compound had been worth every hour of sleep. I missed Maddy. It pained me that I couldn't help her take care of our mom, who'd been struggling mentally. Mom's detachment from reality began ten years ago. Nobody knew how it started, and we were too young to ask questions back then. The cult's doctor had given her medications to help, but they only made her worse. Her condition worsened after Dad left, because she hasn't spoken since.

My chest tightened. What happened to us was unfair. We didn't ask to be a part of some cult, yet my sister and I had to suffer the consequences of living in this hell. I spent every second thinking about how we could escape the chains binding us to Orcus and his iron claws. Where are you, Dad? Why did you leave us here?

We reached our quarters. "Thank you," I said, turning to face Tobias. I stared into his eyes. "It's nice to have someone who cares for a change." I'd been grappling with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the genuine concern he'd shown for me and my family, and I couldn't hold back any longer. Fueled by a surge of emotion, I hugged him.

Tobias didn't respond as I expected. His posture tensed; his body stiffened. He abruptly pushed me away, his strong force causing me to stagger back. "What are you talking about?" he growled.

His reaction left me momentarily disheartened. Did I misjudge him? Was his kindness all an act? I stepped back, studying his guarded behavior. Despite his dismissal, I was determined to uncover more. Dad had spoken highly of Tobias, emphasizing his loyalty and friendship. "We're like brothers," he used to say. Tobias didn't make a swift exit, leaving me optimistic. Maybe, beneath his stoic facade, he was willing to let someone in.

Wishful thinking. I was proven wrong when he spoke.

"I gotta go."

"Do you have to?" The aftermath of that fucking awkward hug lingered. Tension swirled between us.

"I don't have to. I need to," Tobias answered.

"Can you stay for a little while? Please?"

Tobias looked around the room with a raised eyebrow.

"I just wanna talk," I insisted.

He closed the gap between us with one step. His face neared mine, skepticism all over his harsh expression. "Don't bullshit me, boy," he said, pressing his index finger into my chest.

God, if his words and dominance didn't turn me on. It was surprising how commands sounded sensual and provocative coming from him, which was something considering my distaste for rules. Initially, all I wanted was to talk, but after hearing "boy" and the way he looked at me like he was about to swallow me whole, I was no longer certain.

"Just …" I cleared my dry throat. "Just talking."

"This way," Tobias said, heading to the bathroom.

I remained planted where he left me, picturing the least sexual image I could to fight off my urges, but scenes from earlier today flooded my brain. "Fuck it," I said, ignoring my perked-up cock. I tiptoed to the bathroom, careful not to wake the sleeping guys.

Tobias was leaning against the concrete wall, waiting for me. The moonlight filtering through the small window beamed across his muscular tattooed arms. "What do you wanna talk about?"

I opened my mouth, but the words were trapped and my brain could only think of one question. I hesitated, sensing the fleeting opportunity, so I spoke just as Tobias hinted at leaving. "Are you gay?"

Tobias, far from shocked, met the question calmly, as if he knew it was coming. "No, I'm not gay," he answered, his voice firm yet filtered with a trace of uncertainty. "At least, I didn't think I was. I've never been with a man."

"Did you … enjoy what happened?" I asked, eagerly anticipating his reply.

He paused a beat. "More than I should," he admitted. He shifted his posture, and I was certain he was about to bail. He didn't. He leaned to his side, feet crossed while facing me.

His admission was shocking. I should be rejoicing, but the guilt was stronger. "Where is Aurora?" I'd been meaning to ask but didn't think I would be prepared for the answer. Did I lure Tobias into cheating on his wife? I glanced at his bare ring finger.

Tobias clenched his jaw, his features darkening. "She's gone."

"She left you?"

"She's dead."

My heart plummeted. That was the last thing I'd expected. No wonder he seemed miserable all the time. "What happened?"

Tobias dragged in a deep breath. "That doesn't matter."

"I'm so sorry, Tobias." Did Dad know? He never mentioned anything about Aurora during our conversations surrounding his best friend.

"It's fine. It was a long time ago," he said. His eyes once again betrayed him. They screamed pain, anger, and grief before morphing into hollowness.

"I don't know what to say." I doubted there was anything I could say or do to help with the pain.

"There's nothing you can say, but there's something you could do." Tobias's eyes raked over my body, sizing me up. His intense scrutiny painted a lustful picture I wanted to be part of, front and center. His eyes searched the small bathroom before landing on a row of heavy-duty tactical belts hooked next to the shower stall.

"Sure. Anything." My pulse quadrupled in anticipation of Tobias's next words. I didn't know what he had in mind, but it couldn't be that bad. "Just tell me."

"Anything?" It was as if his lips moved in slow motion.

Too stunned and stimulated, I nodded repeatedly.

Tobias reached for one of the belts and headed to the door. He gripped the knob, the veins in his arm bulging as he flexed. "I can't guarantee what's coming next," he whispered. "But if—"

I dashed to the door and shut it. "I'm all yours, Daddy."

Tobias growled. My excitement was off the chain. This was a bad idea, but if I could numb his pain even for a brief period, I'd man up and forget my fears. This was Tobias. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Would he? "Good boy." He tapped my burning cheek a couple of times. "Now, sit over there." He pointed to the closed metal toilet.

I obeyed, looking up at Tobias wrapping the belt around his knuckle. I didn't recognize the man standing over me, but I didn't care. His face flashed a sinister smirk. This was the first time I'd felt uneasy around him.

"Are you afraid?" Tobias asked. He ran his belt-covered hand over my skin.

"No," I quipped. "Maybe."

"Do you want me to stop?" He nudged my chin with his naked hand, his thumb rubbing my lower lip.

"No, I don't wanna stop."

"Good." Tobias stuck his thumb in my mouth. Instinctively, I sucked it, relishing the salty taste it left on my tongue. He pulled his thumb out and whispered close to my ear, "Purple."

I was in a trance, drunk under Tobias's spell. "Huh?" Did I miss something? It was a possibility considering my current state. "What's purple?"

"That's your safe word."

"Why do I need a safe word?"

"Because I'mma do things to you that will push you over the edge. And I need you to say that word when you can't take it any longer."

"Then what?"

"Then I'll stop."

"I don't want you to stop," I said. I didn't want to disappoint him, and the thought of stopping before we'd even begun didn't sound appealing.

"We'll see," he said. "Remember that word."

"Got it. Purp—"

"Don't say it unless you need to."

I obeyed with a nod.

"Hands on your back," he ordered.

I submitted to his request, removing purple from my vocabulary.