Eighteen Abel

Iwas high on lust. With my pulse still rising from my Tobias-induced euphoria, I steadied my breathing to ground my body. I had a purpose for being out here, after all, and I would worry about the implications and my unanswered questions later, but damn. I really needed to know. He owed me that, didn't he?

"Are you …" I trailed off, still a bit unsure whether I should ask the question that had invaded my mind since Tobias grabbed me. "Gay?"

Tobias stepped away from me, shaking his head repeatedly. He's not one of those closet homophobes, is he? He agitated his hair with his hand then, pulling, tugging, and gripping at the short strands. I braced myself; assaulting his scalp like that, who knew if he would direct his anger toward me. He was clearly distraught, pacing the ground.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" he murmured. "What have I done?" Tobias looked up at the sky with his eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He's a fucking dude," he whispered. He was barely audible, but I didn't miss his words. Was this the first time he'd done something with a guy?

"It's okay," I said, hoping my words were convincing. What happened was not okay. He was my dad's best friend. This was a big deal. He was straight … and married. What a mess I've made. "No big deal."

"It was to me." He whipped his head in my direction, his face sweaty and red. "I never should've let that happen. That was a terrible mistake." He punched the concrete wall, and I could only imagine how much his fist hurt. Tobias winced, shaking his hand in the air. "God, how old are you?" he asked. His face contorted with confusion and perhaps even remorse.

I didn't know why, but knowing that he regretted touching me stung no matter how wrong our actions seemed. A small part of me hoped—wished—that he'd enjoyed what we shared too. That he wanted to touch me. But I was wrong. So fucking wrong.

"Abel, answer me!" he demanded, his voice shaking.

"I'm nineteen," I said, unsure why it mattered. "Twenty in two months."

Tobias blew out a breath, his shoulders relaxing a little. "Thank fuck. We gotta go. I need to get you back before they notice we're gone." He had ignored my question about his sexuality, but I decided to let it go for now. He was right—we had places to go. "Follow me," he ordered, turning his back to me and walking away.

We moved in silence, Tobias keeping his distance from me. It was for the best, because my mind kept wandering where it shouldn't. My body craved a second round with him. Preferably him on the receiving end of my talented mouth. I snaked my hand inside my pants to adjust my cock. With my luck, Tobias chose the same time to glance over his shoulder at me.

His eyes widened; a vein in his right temple bulged. "You're fucking kidding me, right?" He stopped walking, pivoting his delicious body to face me. "You came like you haven't blown in weeks just a minute ago."

I could be wrong, but he sounded amused. "What? I was just—"

"Just what?"

"Adjusting."

"You're fucking killing me, man." Tobias's stare traveled between my crotch and eyes, unable to hide the spark of desire in them. I was learning that his eyes betrayed his actions. His body language said no, but he couldn't hide the hunger in his eyes. He swallowed hard before grabbing his crotch. Hell fucking yeah!

I snapped the button of my pants. I might've just come minutes ago, but I was always good for multiple rounds. My personal best was five in a row, and I'd love to see that record broken one of these days.

Tobias's steps quickened and I knew I had him hook, line, and fucking sinker. Slowly, I unzipped my pants. Everything around me faded into the background. My sight focused on Tobias closing the gap between us. He moved with purpose, like a predator in the wild and I was his next meal, a role I was more than happy to play if it meant being devoured by him.

He stopped halfway when voices traveled through the woods. Cock-blocking guards. "What do you think happened over there?" one asked.

"I don't know, but it didn't sound like an accident, according to one of the guys," another answered.

"But that place had been abandoned for years," the first voice added.

"That doesn't mean anything," a third guard said.

The sound of their voices was sobering. It was as if a bucket of ice water was dumped on my flaming body. Tobias squatted, and I again marveled at his ability to shift gears on a dime. He motioned for me to do the same. He placed his index finger over his lips, brought three fingers up, and pointed to the gate behind me.

I nodded, buttoned my pants, and crouched to the ground. That was a close call, and, once again, I scolded myself for my lack of self-control. I needed to calm down around Tobias. Just a few days with him and I was off my axis. It's only sex. Nothing more, nothing less. Focus, I reminded myself, but my dick had a different idea, punishing me with a slight discomfort.

"Abel," Tobias whispered, grabbing my attention. "They're heading east, so we'll head that way." He hooked his thumb to the west, in the direction opposite to the North Compound, where the other guys were.

I shook my head. "That way," I mouthed. It was the fastest way to get to the guys and, thanks to our little detours, we were running out of precious time before they noticed my absence.

He shook his head. "NO. This way," he insisted.

"Why?"

"Trust me."

Tobias had earned my trust after he revealed the real purpose of his sudden appearance in The Creed and for agreeing to sneak me out. He didn't have to be here, but he'd chosen to help us. I trusted him—but not completely. Yet. I couldn't risk the progress we'd made.

He stood and ran swiftly behind a tree about twenty feet from the guards' view.

"I trust you," I said but doubted he heard me. I followed him until the guards' voices faded into the darkness.

Tobias was waiting behind the trunk of a giant ponderosa pine. He pulled me against his body when I reached him. How the fuck was he able to do that? I was six foot three with two hundred and ten pounds of muscle, yet he was manhandling me like I weighed nothing. "Let's wait here for a second." We stood eye to eye, our breathing in sync. Either he'd forgotten about what happened earlier when I attempted to seduce him for round two or he had a mental switch that he'd flicked, because his eyes meant business and his moves were intentional.

Whatever it was, I was thankful. Someone had to be the responsible one, and I sure as fuck was not the one.

Tobias tilted my chin to the side and examined my face. "You cut yourself." He moistened his thumb and wiped my cheek. His grip on my arm tightened momentarily before he released it, a subtle mixture of determination and longing in his eyes. Tobias cleared his throat, his voice barely a whisper. "Listen," he began. His jaw tightened, but he kept his attention focused on me. "What happened back there—"

"It's nothing." I hesitated for a moment, examining the conflicted expression on his handsome face. I'd had a crush on Tobias for as long as I could remember, but standing this close to him amplified my infatuation to a level I didn't know was possible. His touch was addictive. His scent was enchanting. His voice was mesmerizing. I wanted to caress his face, to drag my palms over his facial hair. I wondered how kissing those lips would feel. Were they rough? Sweet? Or a bit of both? "We don't have to talk about it," I said. There was a place and time for explanation, and right here and now wasn't it. "We have to focus."

"Okay." Tobias nodded. "Thank you." The relief evident in his tone convinced me that I'd made the right call. I might be an asshole with the other guards, but making Tobias uncomfortable didn't sit well with me. He wasn't one of them. I knew that now. He was family.

We continued our trek to the guys' barracks and, as expected, Tobias didn't speak aside from the occasional this way and over there by means of hand gestures. "How did you know the way?" I asked when it turned out the route he'd chosen led us to the North Compound. It wasn't the fastest way but was the least guarded. In fact, we hadn't seen any guards since the three men walking in the woods.

"I scouted," he answered. "Where are your friends?"

"Over there." I pointed to a dark gray, one-story, triple-wide manufactured home with barred windows. "They should be inside."

"Are they awake?"

"I hope so." I'd wake them if needed. Who knew if we'd get another opportunity like this?

"What about your family?" Tobias asked, scouting the other rows of similar buildings.

I paused, thinking.

"I really need to get you all out of here," he stressed. "The sooner the better."

"Not yet. I have business to take care of first."

"This fucking place is bad news," he said, appraising me.

"You can say that again."

He stepped closer, meeting my eyes. "There is some shit you don't even know."

"Like what?" I doubted he'd discovered anything we didn't already know. I was standing there in the middle of the night, waiting for the window of opportunity to reach the guys, because we'd been planning an escape for months and needed to know when that moment would be. Plans were in place, and we were willing to risk our lives to get out of here.

"You and the boys aren't safe," Tobias answered.

"Tell me something we don't know." I chuckled. No one was safe in the cult. Mom used to say that Dad was just paranoid, but I could clearly see that now. "Let's keep going before it gets too late."

I didn't wait for his response. Keeping to the shadows, I ran.